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Author: staging_bwnrtf

  • Would you be upset if your Husband…

    The Question:

    I had my nephews 10th birthday tonight and we had dinner at La Porchetta, with the family… so my husband and I and our 2 kids were invited. My husband didn’t come, and blew me off; went out with his mates to a poker game! He has NEVER done this! He ALWAYS comes to family dinners etc especially if he is not working and is home etc..
    I was more ANGRY but now I am just upset 🙁
    My kids are 3 1/2 and 6 months. My husband does work hard and has different shifts at work so there is issues about how much we see each other and family time etc… he goes away for work stays over nights etc and then comes back the next day or after; so my question is would you be upset if your husband did this? or am I overreacting???
    He didn’t forget about the birthday either; I told him and he was home when I left!! He just wanted to go play cards with his mates instead…

    My Response:

    Dear Upset;

    I would sit down with your husband and communicate to him how you feel. This was a family event; and even though it is not his kid and it is your side of the family, you are married, and these kind of events are the kind that you know you have to go to. He could go any other night to play poker with his friends. I would definitely have a talk with him and tell him how you feel. You have young children and maybe he is feeling overwhelmed and needed a break, but this is no excuse! Talk to him, and find out what is really going on…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • No anniversary sex?…

    The Question:

    No anniversary sex. Was I wrong to expect a little action from my wife?
    Yesterday was me and my wife’s 1st anniversary. We went to church as usual. I’m a Sunday school teacher so I left before her. After church I go by the store to get the last few thing so I could cook her dinner. Money is tight because I am unemployed so I couldn’t afford to take her out or anything like that. I ended up going to two stores. By the time I got home she was there sitting in the bedroom watching TV or reading a book or something. I spend several hours prepping and cooking dinner. The whole time I may have sat down for about 10 minutes. When it was ready I fixed her plate as well as the kids. We sit down to eat and just being off my feet for that short time when I stood back up my feet were killing me but I kept going. I asked my wife if she wouldn’t mind cleaning up the kitchen and she basically said no because I use too many dishes when I cook. I spent several hours cooking dinner then it took me all of 15 minutes to load the dishwasher and clean the kitchen. Nobody said she had to wash them by hand. All the while my wife has left the bedroom maybe 3 times. She was still relaxing on the bed. After I got the kids in bed and go back to the bedroom me and my wife watch a little more TV then the next thing I know is that she’s hugging her pillow snoring. Let me clear this up. Our kids are teenagers and I just made sure they had their clothes ironed for school the next day and that they turned off everything in the other part of the house. I turn off the TV and that sort of startled her and she wakes up. We’re laying there in the dark and I’m waiting to see if my wife was gonna make any kind of move. She doesn’t. I mean, it was our anniversary and she literally had done nothing all day. What was she tired for? What she tells me is, “why don’t you go on to sleep!”. I then get up and as I’m walking out she asks me what the matter is and I tell her that if she hasn’t figured if out by now then never mind.

    Did she expect me to make the first move? I thought women likes if when a man took on more duties and chores and that gets a woman in the mood? I did all that work and she pretty much rested bur once the kids were in the bed she was too tired. You hear it all the time. A man with a vacuum is a turn on. I guess the problem is this. I typically do most of the cooking anyway so maybe that was really nothing special to her that I cooked yesterday.

    Was I wrong to expect some action on our 1st year anniversary? And ladies, don’t come at me like “well maybe she wanted you to just wait on her this time!”. I do the majority of the cooking in the house anyway.

    Was I wrong to expect sex or at least a little action from my wife?

    My Response:

    Dear House Hubby;

    Let’s start off with the fact that it is your one year anniversary but you have teenage kids? Technically it may be your one year anniversary but I am assuming that you have been together for much longer than a year since you have teenage kids together. With that said, an anniversary is an anniversary, and although you do not have a job at the moment and normally cook, she needs to appreciate the fact that you do a lot around the house and for the kids. You need to sit down with your wife and tell her how you feel. Communication is key and if you do not talk to each other then nothing is going to change. She may think it is okay for you to do everything since you are not working at the moment, but the fact that you cooked, she should have helped clean up and do the dishes. Especially since it was your anniversary and all. I know it isn’t right and I think that your wife should have maybe set something up in the bedroom while you were out there being the ‘house wife’; but you also could have just tried spicing it up in the bedroom; especially after you saw she was not about to do anything. Again, I really think this should have been her move, since she didn’t do anything else the entire night, so I can understand how you are feeling. Talk to your wife, just because you are unemployed at the current moment does not mean she doesn’t have to help you around the house. On another note: Your kids are teenagers, they need to start helping you around the house. You could have had your kids clean up the kitchen so that mom and dad can enjoy their anniversary time together. Find a way to find a balance in your life and in your relationship.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • How come my Husband doesn’t divorce me even though he is living with his girlfriend?

    The Question:

    How come my Husband doesn’t divorce me even though he is living with his girlfriend?

    Me and my husband separated a year ago because he cheated on me, and he believes that I have cheated on him (I really haven’t). Now he is living with one of his ex-girlfriends and she asked him to call me & tell me that he wants a divorce. This hurt me really bad because I still love him very much. Then he secretly calls back saying that he will never divorce me and that he will always love me. What does that mean? I wonder if he still loves me and wants to work it out someday in the future… any men have similar stories or might have an idea what he may be thinking?

    My Response:

    Dear in DENIAL;

    I’m sorry if I am going to be blunt, but WAKE UP!!! He cheated on you and now he is living with an ex girlfriend, what more do you want him to do in order for you to realize that he is a looser? You deserve more then that, you deserve someone who will love you and not cheat on you, and please do not say that your husband truly loves you, because if he did he would have never cheated on you, and if he did he wouldn’t be living with his ex-girlfriend right now. Your husband is manipulating you, he has the best of both worlds; a wife at home waiting for him and a girlfriend who he gets to sleep with and live with. In other words… your husband is having his cake and eating it too…. I know….cliche metaphor but it is what it is. Don’t let him walk over you and stand up for yourself; if you want to make your marriage work tell him but honestly the trust is so broken that it is probably going to be a very hard road ahead of you to even try to fix things between the two of you. Respect yourself enough to not take such emotional abuse and Love yourself enough to know that you DESERVE BETTER!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on <a/ href=”http://answers.yahoo.com”>Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My boyfriend has started beating me?

    The Question:
    I have been staying with my boyfriend for a year, but recently he has started to lose his temper and beat me. He is kind and loving 90 percent of the time, should I leave him because you know the beating will never stop?

    My Response:

    Dear Abused;

    I think you already know the answer here. If you even have to ask then the answer should be obvious, but just in case…. My answer would be YES Leave him, and not just because he probably won’t stop, but because this is not love! Someone who loves you won’t dare put a hand on you, no only is it disrespectful but it’s physical abuse and no person should ever have to go through this. If he has a bad temper it could only get worse, he needs help and he is the only one that is going to have to want to get the kind of help he needs, but if you stick around it can only get worse from here. Respect yourself and Love yourself enough to get out of a relationship you already know is no good for you. Find someone that will respect you and love you and won’t lead to violence just because he gets upset about something.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My boyfriends mum is having an affair what do I do?

    The Question:

    My boyfriend had told me that when he was younger his mum had an affair and his parents split up for a while but now they are back together. His mum goes out a few times a week dancing or with friends but always comes back at funny hours, considering clubs close at 3 she doesn’t come home until 6. I have also seen her sending text messages saying ‘you will always have my heart’ etc to an unsaved number in her phone which she then deletes. I want to tell my boyfriend or his sister but I don’t want to stress him out as he is coming towards the end of university and needs to concentrate on his work and his sister is getting married in June and I don’t want her family to be upset/arguing on her big day. Should I just ignore it?

    My Response:

    Dear Knows Too Much;

    This is a very hard situation to be placed in. If you don’t tell him, and he finds out you knew he might be upset that you didn’t tell him, but on the other hand it really isn’t any of your business. I would honestly more than likely stay out of it, at least for now until after your boyfriend finishes his exams and his sister gets married. And honestly I am sure they aren’t oblivious to the fact that the clubs close at 3am and she doesn’t come home until 6am. I am sure they have noticed this too and I am sure their dad notices as well. Perhaps they are in denial because they do not want to believe that she would do this to their family again. I would stay out of it for now. I am not sure how you even saw her phone messages, especially if she deletes it soon after, BUT just stay away from it all. After all the exams and wedding then decide if you can keep this secret from your boyfriend. Although this is not your business, he is your boyfriend, and trust is a big factor in any relationship. Put yourself in his shoes, would you truly want to know if your mother was cheating on your dad yet again? Or would you rather just not know???

    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • If you caught your Mom cheating, would you tell your Dad?

    The Question:

    If you caught your mom cheating would you tell your dad or not tell him? If not why? If so why?
    ~ My sister caught our mom doing it with a fellow half her age… Yes she had a cell phone that takes pictures, and took a picture for proof of my mom and this guy doing it. My mom is 51 years old and my dad is 55 years old; the fellow my sister took pictures of is probably 18 and having sex with our mom… What should we do, our dad has always been there for us and my sister says he has a right to know…?
    (Revised Question – KN)

    My Response:

    Dear Stuck in the Middle;

    This is a hard situation to be put in. I would definitely confront your mother first, and give her the opportunity to talk to your dad first. If she refuses to tell him the truth, then this is a choice you and your sister are going to have to make. I think no person should cheat on another person, and the fact that your mom is cheating on your dad with a younger man, and somewhere where she can obviously get caught by her own children is wrong on all levels, she has no regard on the consequences that her actions are causing. Talk to your mom first and then go from there.

    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I am in love with my wife’s brother’s daughter?

    The Question:

    I am in love with my wife’s brother’s daughter… She also can’t live without me. I am afraid of the consequences. I also have a son. I tried many times to break but failed, what should I do?

    My Response:

    Dear Disturbed;

    My first reaction: IS THIS A REAL QUESTION?
    Second: That would make her your Niece and that is just wrong.
    Third: How old are you and how old is she?

    Okay so you are in love with your niece (not by blood) but by marriage, and either way this is wrong. I am assuming she is much younger then you and I am assuming that your wife has no clue. First off, why stay in a marriage you aren’t happy in? You obviously do not love your wife to go as far as to sleep with her niece. I would break off whatever it is you think you have going on with this girl, depending on where you live, if the brother (her dad) finds out, this can be considered statutory rape (again I don’t know how old she is) if she is older then it will only cause a lot of problems between you and the family. Do you want to be in a relationship where everyone will not only hate you, but where you will drift her away from her own family. She should also know better, because you are her Aunts husband, and not only is she having an affair with a married man, but to a man who is married into her family. You need to end things with her, and I mean you needed to end this YESTERDAY. Well… you needed to never have started this in the first place… but what’s done is done, so now you need to try and fix things. If you aren’t happy in your marriage then get a divorce, do not cheat on your wife and do not do it with her NIECE. If you are here asking what you should do? I think deep down you already know that answer…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Separated after 20 years of Marriage

    The Question:

    I am going through a separation after 20 years of marriage?
    I am a man on disability, my wife wants to leave me at 55 years old and 20 years of marriage. We have 2 boy’s what am I going to do???

    My Response:

    Dear Disability;

    It isn’t easy and I know you did not say that this is why your wife is leaving you (but you brought it up and one has nothing to do with the other) so I’m going to say it… I am sure that your wife is not leaving you just because you are on disability. (Again this may not even be what you are thinking). Have you sat down with your wife and tried to make the marriage work, figure out why she is leaving you? Communication is key, if you don’t talk, you can’t fix the problem. I know it must be hard to be married for 20 years, have children and be on disability and then have your wife leave you, but it is not the end of the world. You still have those two boys who I am sure love you. Stay focused on the good, and try to find things that you can do with your disability to stay busy. There are tons of groups that you can join, and remember you still have those two boys and that is always going to be your family. Stay strong…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I am married & sleeping with 2 men…

    The Question:

    I have been having an affair, and now I have a major problem?
    I’m married, and I have been seeing another man who works with me since mid May, and we have been having sex, well … a lot. He works in the same building as I do and he has the same lunch hour as I do, so we meet each other at lunch and, well, I know this is going to sound bad but … almost every day and, well you know what happens.

    Well, about two weeks ago, one of my other male co-workers figured out what me and this other guy have been doing at lunch, so he asked me if I wanted a change. He was really handsome and I couldn’t resist, so I had some fun with him too and it was so good, so I started to see him as well.

    Last weekend I started to have some problems “down there”, so I went to get it checked out, and I found out I have an STD. I might have caught it from one of the two men I have been seeing, and I’ now worried that I might have not only spread it to my husband, but one of those guys that didn’t have it.

    My Response:

    Dear Cheater;

    You are a grown women, not only are you married and cheating on your husband but you are using unprotected sex. Didn’t you ever take sex education? Well here is the 101 – NEVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX; as this can result in STD’s or Pregnancy. It is obvious you got this from one of the two men, so you should definitely confront them about it because they can be spreading it to other women as well. As for your husband, it is not going to be easy but it is better to come clean and tell him the truth, because eventually he is going to find out if he has the STD also. I don’t agree with cheating but if you were going to do it, you should have at least used a condom. I don’t want to say it but I will… Karma…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My Best Friend…

    My Best Friend

    We have known each other for way too long
    You aren’t just my best friend
    You are like a sister at all costs.

    We have been through ups and downs
    at one point we didn’t talk
    life moved on
    and then one day out of no where
    you came back into my life
    it was has if we never stopped talking
    as if we had never been apart
    that’s how you truly know this friendship will never part.

    You mean the world to me
    everything you do
    I know if I need you
    You’ll help me through

    If you’re ever in a bind
    I hope you know I’ll do the same
    No matter what time or day
    I’ll always be here
    Just call out my name…

    I know it sounds corny
    but the saying is true
    Friends for Ever
    Just Me & YOU!

    © ~Written by: kristin nicole – March 16, 2011

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    Dedicated to my best friend Grace – I have known her for over 15 years now and she is like a sister to me in so many ways. I was inspired to write this poem after she wrote me a sweet message on my facebook page. She just got married, and I was so lucky to have been chosen as her Maid of Honor…. It is truly a blessing when you find a true friend for life… Love you….