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  • Madison Schafer – Baby with Brain Cancer

    Madison Schafer

    I am not sure how old Madison Schafer is but she can’t be more than 2 years old. She looks really young, I was on my face-book account this morning when I saw an old co-workers post about a little girl in her daughters school who has brain cancer. I clicked on the link and began to read her story. They literally just found out that she had Brain Cancer yesterday. Before that it was only 5 days ago when they noticed something was wrong with the baby.

    Brain Tumor/Cancer

    On September 9th a CAT Scan resulted in a large tumor in the brain, they had an emergency surgery scheduled that same night to get it out, as they set out to take out the fleshy part of the tumor Madison’s heart stopped three times, so they had to stop the surgery. They later sent a sample to Harvard to a brain specialist to determine if in fact it was Cancer. An MRI later showed that the tumor is holding liquid around the brain and not draining on it’s own so they had to place a drain in her head to drain the liquid, they were hoping that the liquid would start draining on it’s own. Madison is starting to move her bowel and eating, so they took the catheter out and the family is waiting on the next step to cure the cancer.

    My Thoughts:

    This story touched my heart, it is scary and hard to live through something like this with such a small child. The school has a website where you can follow Madisons recovery at Kidsforkidsacademy.com. You can follow her recovery, and you can help the family by either donating money, food, or anything that will help them through this difficult time. Some people are donating Publix or Winn Dixie gift cards (CBS 4 News donated some gift cards to the family) and some are helping make home cooked meals and taking them to the hospital. You can help donate HERE.

    In life we truly never know what will happen. Some of us live our lives healthy and content, others go through the hardest moments in life not knowing what to do. I couldn’t imagine what the Schafer family is going through and I think if we all say a prayer, if we all contribute just a little, that in a small way it will help them get through this horrible time one step at a time.

    If you want to donate click on the link above, and you can also write a message to the family either here on this link (I have informed them that I have posted a blog post about Madison on Soapnights) and or you can leave a message HERE.

    My prayers are with Madison a beautiful baby girl who doesn’t deserve to have such a horrible illness and to her family who needs to stay strong, and think positive that everything will be alright.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    PS

    Dear Schafer family,

    It breaks my heart to read a story like yours. I have posted links to this website (http://www.soapnights.com) about your daughter Madison and I will pray for her fast recovery back to a normal life. No one should have to go thorugh what you are going through, and we sometimes give up on hope when things like this happen. We turn our backs on our beliefs because we wonder why things like this happen to us. This is the time that you have to come together, keep your faith and your hopes up and think positive. My prayers are with Madison (that beautiful baby girl) and with you. Stay strong, Madison will pull through this.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

  • VMA 2010

    MTV VMA Awards 2010

    Okay so here is the list of last nights VMA 2010 winners:

    Collaboration: Lady Gaga featuring Beyonce, “Telephone”

    Female video    : Lady Gaga, “Bad Romance”

    Male video:     Eminem, “Not Afraid”

    Hip-hop video: Eminem, “Not Afraid”

    New artist:     Justin Bieber featuring Ludacris, “Baby”

    Pop video: Lady Gaga, “Bad Romance”

    Rock video: 30 Seconds to Mars, “Kings and Queens”

    Dance music video: Lady Gaga, “Bad Romance”

    Art direction: Florence and the Machine, “Dog Days Are Over”

    Choreography:     Lady Gaga, “Bad Romance”

    Cinematography: Jay Z and Alicia Keys, “Empire State of Mind”

    Direction:     Lady Gaga, “Bad Romance”

    Editing: Lady Gaga, “Bad Romance”

    Special effects: Muse, “Uprising”

    Breakthrough video:     The Black Keys, “Tighten Up”

    Video of the year:     Lady Gaga, “Bad Romance”

    My thoughts:

    I do like Lady Gaga, she’s unique, she’s talented and she even supports organizations….However, I have to admit that I would have loved to see some other artist who’s songs and work I liked as well. Like Ke$ha, Katy Perry, Drake and more. I think she did great and she deserved the awards but I just hate when one star steals the night. I like diversity, she’s good but I don’t think she deserved almost all the awards she was given.

    This year there were a lot of good performances but some not so great in my book. Taylor Swift, she’s cute and she’s nice and she has some good songs, but live I just don’t see a great performance come out of her, and that song she chose was just boring. Usher, Eminem, Justin Bieber did great, good songs, good performances. The Machine “Dog Days are over” was great, I had never heard her sing before and she was fantastic. And of course the host of the evening Chelsea Handler was funny, and cute in all her outfits. I love her books and I think she did great hosting the VMA’s 2010.

    Until next year….

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    You can see the list of winners for the VMA 2010 on Yahoo.Music.com

  • How much of a slave do I need to be?

    The Question:

    Long story, But I lost my good paying job in November 09. I found a minimum wage job. Trying to make my bills with what little I have, my future x husbands mother decides to have me clean her house for her on my days off. I do this for 3 weeks. She gives the money to my future x. The future x and myself still live in the same house (for now). He gave his mother the sob story that I had pissed away all our money that we had accumulated.. and partially true, but he did more so. While I refuse to tell my side of the story to his mother. Although I have proof, I will not stoop to his level. He has ruined my name in the small town in which we live. What recourse can I take? How obligated to him and his mother am I going to be for the rest of my life? Sorry I just needed to vent. Anyone have any in-site on this?

    My Response:

    Dear taken advantage of;

    Everyone has choices in life. In a marriage you choose to do things and work together or in your case get divorced (I am assuming you wrote future x because he isn’t your ex quiet yet). However, you do not have to be a slave to anyone. You were married, if you pieced away both of your funds that wasn’t right, and hopefully you learned a big lesson here. If he is part to blame then he needs to take responsibility, and if you have proof it isn’t stooping to his level if he is bringing your name down in a small town only to look like the victim. Stand up to him and his mother and figure a way out of your debt. Move out, and move on. Maybe perhaps leave this small town and move somewhere else. We all have choices in life, and you do not need to succumb to being someones “slave”. Helping clean her house for extra money is your choice, have you thought about offering your help to other people in the area, this way you aren’t only cleaning your Ex’s mom’s house and having to hear them talk about you? If cleaning houses isn’t your thing, then get up and find another job, you may have to move out of your small town to make a better living, and if this is what you have to do then do it. Again. we all have choices in life. Make a choice to stand up and stick up for yourself. If you did wrong, admit it but don’t let him take you down just because he doesn’t want to take part in your misfortunes. Stop letting them take advantage of you and do something about it.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Urgent help, Ex GF wrecking my life?

    The Question:

    An ex- girlfriend of my boyfriends will not leave us alone. She cannot handle the fact that I am now with him. She is forever sending extremely rude unnecessary emails expressing her anger and hatred and starting highly inappropriate rumors. In simple terms, she’s crazy. What can I do? Shes wrecking our relationship and my life…

    My Response:

    Dear New Girlfriend;

    It’s a hard place to be in because you can’t really stop her from starting rumors or sending you emails. You can do a few things, one change your email address so she can’t email you anymore, two talk to your boyfriend. This is his ex and he needs to stand up to her and tell her that it is over and she needs to please move on. To be mature about things and stop spreading rumors about his girlfriend/you.

    I once was with a guy who got back with his ex and she phone/email stalked me even after I broke up with him and she was back with him. Girls like this are immature and insecure, and it is hard to make them understand that what they are doing is immature and totally ridiculous. At the end of the day they broke up, I changed my phone number, email and anything possible that she may contact me with. I hated to do it, and I was very stubborn not wanting to change my phone number, I went through this for 3 straight months, phone calls at all hours of the night and more. I changed my number mainly because I got a new phone with a different company but it helped that she finally backed off.

    As for your situation it is different. Have you tried emailing her back, I know it’s hard to be nice to someone who is crazy but try to tell her that to be grown up about this situation and back off. Spreading rumors about you or emailing all the time is not going to change the facts. It’s hard and hopefully you can get through to her, if you can’t, like I said earlier, this is your boyfriends ex, not yours. So let him deal with it. Ignore her rumors don’t give her the satisfaction that it is bothering you. True friends won’t believe the rumors and they will shortly pass.
    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • How do I ask him about his sexuality and why he is cheating?


    The Question:

    If you find out that your husband or wife after several years of being together and married is into the same sex and never told you, and you find out by reading their chat history and they have been this way there whole life. They have also been camming online and chatting very sexually with men and woman. How do you bring it up?

    Additional Details
    Thank you. I don’t want a divorce i love my husband very much. I don’t care if he is bi. I just don’t want to be lied to and hurt. I just don’t know how to bring it up. I’m afraid he will turn on me and say well get over it or get out. Without any remorse.

    Like I said before the him being bi doesn’t matter. I don’t care about that. It’s the fact that I was not told. After all this time that I have invested in our relationship and thought that we were open to each other I find out that we are not i feel like I have been living a lie. It bothers me he is cheating mostly…he says anything online is a fantasy not real…

    My Response:

    Dear Lied to;

    Let’s not jump to conclusions, how do you know that he’s talking to other men on line (by their screen names?) or have you seen actual pictures. If your husband is bisexual then perhaps there is a deeper meaning behind it all, of why he hasn’t come out and told anyone. Why he got married to a women and why he is now hiding it all. I have known people who were married with children for years, and later came out that they were homosexual. Some people hide behind what they think society wants them to play, a straight man with a family is a lot easier understood then a man living with another man or women with another women. It is not something that is easy to bring up, but you deserve to know the truth. If you do not mind that he is bi-sexual (if that is the case) then that is 100% your choice to deal with, however I have to bring up him chatting very sexual things with men and women…. (It is not just a fantasy world this is a form of emotional cheating). Do you want to be with someone who is needing to chat with other people behind your back? Homosexual or not, this is not right, especially in a marriage. If you are married, you are solely committed to each other, there is no need to be sneaking behind your partners back talking and chatting with other people. You have a big question on your hands, first this isn’t going to be easy but the best way to confront this is straight on (there is no easy way and it is going to be uncomfortable for the both of you). After finding out what is really going on, then you’ll have to go from there. Do you stay with a man that is possibly bi-sexual (what does this mean?) Even if he’s bisexual does it mean it’s okay for him to be with other men while married to you? These are things you have to think about. I know you love him but think about what he is doing to you? First off by NEVER telling you the truth about his sexuality. Second going behind your back talking to other men and women. This is unacceptable, you have to have respect for yourself and see that what he is doing is wrong.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com
    Talk to your husband, communication is key to helping any relationship.

  • Should I dump my Boyfriend?

    The Question:

    Okay, so last night I said my friend was so pretty and that she has an amazing body. My boyfriend admitted to me that he was a little interested but he liked me better… I still don’t feel good that he even admitted that to me. Should I dump him? Help!

    My Response:

    Dear confused;

    It isn’t necessarily a reason to dump him, but what exactly did he say to you? Did he just agree with you that your friend is pretty and has an amazing body or did he actually say he was a little interested in her but liked you better? Either way I can see why this hurt, and what he said to you was insensitive. Unfortunately a lot of guys don’t think before they speak, and sometimes they think it’s okay to tell us that they think another girl is hot, not realizing it may hurt our feelings or make us feel a little insecure. If you feel that he might try cheating on you or that he isn’t that into you, then move on. There are many other guys out there that I am sure would love to date you. You deserve someone who is into you and you alone!

    Good luck

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Will she ever love me again?

    The Question:

    Hi, I have recently split from my girlfriend of 7 years, its been 3 weeks now but it feels like its been longer, I miss her terribly I think about her morning noon & night, Its a long story but basically we had problems I suffered with depression and left her for 5 months and lived with my parents again. When I came back to her things had changed she told me we had grown apart and didn’t love me said she still cared but not like that… We sort of got back together but I was constantly suspicious of her checking her face-book & e-mails etc, then it got to the point where she wouldn’t touch me or seem to care about how I felt this dragged on for about 3 months I said a few times I will leave then hoping she would try to stop me, she just said do whatever you want to do…So I left it broke my heart, she just rang me to ask if I was alright not to come back… Since then she has posted on her face-book Ive never felt so happy, never been this happy in years, wish I would have been single years ago, but lists on her profile interested in men looking for a relationship… I spoke to her again recently well saw her actually and she was real cold towards me said that she just wants to be friends that she cares about me but will never be in a relationship with me again… It just doesn’t matter what I do or say I cant stop thinking about her I miss her so much, Does anyone think that she will ever love me like I want again? I would like anyone’s opinions please especially from women. Thanks

    My Response:

    Dear Heart Broken;

    It is hard to suffer from depression and people who don’t suffer from depression don’t understand those that do. Going to the key core, you moved out, and not just for a few days, for almost half a year, that’s a long time for your ex to evaluate your relationship and truly see how she felt about you. I know it hurts to see her happy and saying the things that she says, but the truth is that it is better to move on from someone who doesn’t love you the way you love them than to sit there hoping that one day they just might love you back. Seven Years is a long time, and there was something obviously wrong for it to have gone so astray after so long. I know it hurts because you still love her (it’s only been 3 weeks), and thinking about her day and night isn’t something that is just going to disappear in a day. You spent a long time with her and you loved her, you have history together and you probably thought you would spend the rest of your life together. It’s hard but the fact that she isn’t in love with you is reality. If she has told you that she cares for you I am sure it is because she was with you for so long and just because you aren’t in love with someone anymore doesn’t mean you stop loving or caring for them, but loving someone and being in love with someone are two different things. Try to be strong and get your life back on track, it isn’t going to be easy but you have to move on. It is better to move on now knowing that she isn’t in love with you then to keep up a relationship that is only a lie. You don’t want to spend another 7 years down the road with someone who isn’t happy, or spend it with someone who in the end is only going to end up leaving you. I am sure she has her reasons and I am sure that you are going to hurt for a long time, but I know this is a cliche saying “but time does heal all wounds”. Be strong, look at your relationship and really ask yourself if you were happy with the way things were? Or were you just comfortable? Be strong; you will find someone who will support you through the hard times and love you no matter what. If you still suffer from depression you have to really think about seeing someone or talking to someone, depression is not something easily removed.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • How should I react around my ex?

    The Question:

    I dated this guy for 8 months who is a family friend. Our parents made us meet each other. He used me to make his ex jealous and also treated me in a way so that I would dump him after his purpose of making his ex jealous gets fulfilled. I was very serious about him and was unaware of his intentions until the very end. I broke up with him 2 months ago, now I know we will bump into each other often as our parents are friends with each other and they didn’t know about whatever happened between me and him.
    I so wanna tell him I hate him so much for whatever he did to me. How can I give him this message? To be honest I am still not over him, but I don’t want him to feel that I miss him or anything.
    Now that I know I will see him often, how should I react ? Should I ignore him completely or should I behave as if nothing ever happened? Also how can I make him feel that I hate him more than anything in this world?…

    My Response:

    Dear Used;

    It is a hard position to be in and unfortunately this is why parents shouldn’t get involved in the love life of their children. Have your parents asked about your break up? I would be honest with them, talk to your mom or your dad whoever you are closest too, it’s good to let your feelings out and they should know that their friends son is an a** so that they don’t try to make you hang out with him. If it makes you feel better tell him how you feel, but after that move on. If you have to see him I wouldn’t ignore him completely that will only show that you still care and you don’t want that. Don’t try to become best friends with him either, what he did to you was wrong, and the least he can do is apologize to you. So if you do have to see each other just casually say hello and go on your way, keep yourself busy when he’s around, or ask to go to a friends house. I am not sure how old you are, that really changes things if I knew your age, but all in all, I say it doesn’t hurt to get your feelings out by telling him how you feel and letting him know what he did was wrong. Then move on, I know it hurts and you still have feelings for him but you deserve someone a lot better than someone who is only going to use you. You did right by breaking up with him.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    UPDATE:

    Yes your age does change, you are 22 not a teenager which makes it easier for you to pick up and go, there is no reason that if your parents are hanging out with their friends that you have to be around, unless it is a dinner you are invited to. If that is the case like I said be polite and say hello as if nothing is bothering you but don’t try to strike up a conversation with him. He’s around your age too I am assuming which makes this 10 times worse, he isn’t a child and he knew what he was doing was wrong. Unfortunately some men don’t know when to grow up and see something good that is right in front of them. You are still young and even though it hurts right now, you deserve a lot better. You deserve someone who will appreciate you and love you for you, not someone who is trying to play childish games. If he’s over your house, make an excuse to go out, start hanging out with your friends again and go out dancing. Start having some fun and forget about him, trust me he isn’t worth your time.

    Good luck, if you need more advice don’t hesitate to write me a comment or email me.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Traumatized?

    Traumatized?

    Perhaps it is a strong word. Dreams… sometimes… Daydreams….randomly through out the day….Memories…All the time….Anxiety….with the memories….Sadness….Scared….Traumatized?

    Living Life…

    You have to continue living after an accident, or something bad that has happened to you, the hard part isn’t continuing to live the hard part is getting back into the same routine you have been so accustomed to without having the bad memories pop into your head every couple of minutes or hours or days. My experience wasn’t all that bad compared to a lot of people who have been in accidents. Most recently an employee was in a motorcycle accident, he broke one wrist, the other hand and his ankle. He has been like this for over a month and still confined to a wheelchair and lots and lots of physical therapy. That to me reminds me of how lucky I am, how I have no reason to truly complain about anything let alone my accident where I walked out of the car without a single scratch. Sure my neck and shoulders are still a bit sore, but that comes with the whiplash of the accident. I rather be sore with a few aches and pains then confined to a wheel chair and needing people to help you do stuff (like going to the restroom). I rather be me any day, and with all that and with knowing that what I said is 110% all true, I still can’t help but to fear, I still can’t help but to feel bad and scared. Every time I start picturing that morning, the rain, the car lights, the hit, it all just happened so fast.

    Let it go….

    Letting it go is easier said than done, and I know this. If I was giving advice I would say to confront your fear, pass by that area again and let it go. Accidents happen and this is a lesson to learn from, to be more careful, more aware of your surroundings, to not let fear conquer you and to be grateful that nothing happened to you. Sure you have to deal with the aftermath, but everything will be taken care of in time. Let it go and keep living. Knowing all this you think it would be easy for me. Knowing all this, you think I can just let it go, forget and move on. Each time I picture it I get a shiver down my spine, each time I think about it I get saddened that this had to happen. I’m still trying to figure out the “everything happens for a reason” … I still can’t drive in that same spot. Now I go a different way to work in the morning.

    When….

    When will it stop haunting me and when will I let it go? Only time can tell, I think I will be fine, I know I will be fine, it is just a scary thought that this could have been much worse. Makes you think about life and the things you want and what truly is important and unimportant. Makes you think and realize that things could always be so much worse and today I am just thankful to be able to write this, to sit here with only a little soreness around the neck and carry on with my life as if nothing happened….

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • The Car Accident…

    The Car Accident…

    I got up like any other morning, thought about snoozing another 10 minutes and then finally just decided to get up and get ready for work. I got ready, made breakfast and stopped before leaving wondering and feeling like I was forgetting something. I headed towards the door, locked the door, went to the elevator and headed up to my car, I started going down the garage and headed outside and saw that it was raining. I turned my windshield wipers on and headed down the road to work. I was just driving, listening to music and thinking about life, when I look to the side and see the car coming towards me, I look up and it was too late to stop the car hit me on the driver side turning my car, popping my tire and spinning my world around. I got out of the car and everyone was fine, I was fine, they were fine but my car wasn’t fine. Material things come and go, or they get fixed; that wasn’t my concern at all, the only thing that really bothered was that I was the one who got the ticket and I don’t even know what happened. Now I have a ticket to pay, traffic school or court, missions in life that make you wonder why things really happen in life.

    If you read my blog you know that I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I am one to admit that saying it is easier said than actually experiencing it. I have gone through things in life where I later turn around and realize why things do happen for a reason, this, this accident I’m still trying to figure out what the reason is?

    My boyfriend took me to the hospital afterward just to make sure everything was okay, because my whole left side of my neck and shoulder where killing me. Everything checked out fine, I just had a spasm in my neck which will be sore for several days or weeks. They gave me a soft neck brace and a muscle relaxer. I’m now sitting her typing this with the neck brace on, I didn’t sleep all night from not wanting to make the wrong move and hurt my neck more and from the anxiety every time I thought about getting in a car or taking that same road the next time I go to work.

    Moments….

    When I was sitting in my car I didn’t notice it in the moment, but when I started trying to replay what happened, I all of a sudden got a vision of a moment in the car accident. I sat there and in one moment, one second in time I saw my grandparents, I saw my grandfather looking at me, and I saw my grandmother and I even saw Oz. I don’t know what it all means but I can’t stop thinking about it. When I think about the accident I get anxiety, I get nervous and feel bad about the entire thing. In life we go through things we don’t know the reasons for, this is one of those moments. It was almost as if my life flashed before my eyes, and although I walked out of that car accident with nothing but a few sores in my neck, I wonder if this is some type of sign. If everything happens for a reason, what is this reason?

    In a split second you see things you didn’t even notice you saw, you later remember what you saw and have no clue why or what it means. In life things happen that we never truly know the meaning for, I always try to figure things out, I can’t help but stress, I can’t help but worry and I can’t help but wonder what the reasons are? I look back at past events, present and future and I wonder what the universe has in store for me. If this is now, if this is what I feel, then what can I do to make things better? This year has been a major roller coaster of emotions. I have had good things happen like finally finishing my Associates Degree, Moving into my new place with my boyfriend, having my health and family and friends, the bad somehow seem to take control, Loosing Oz and Precious was something so hard, thinking about it still makes me tear up. I recently also lost my cat Oreo (RIP Oreo – best sweetest outside cat ever), school has been hard and lots of money on tutors and life.

    When life gets you down try to think of the positive. That’s what I try to do. It’s hard, I want to sometimes curl up in bed and just cry, or lay in a bubble bath, hold my breath under the water and just let it out. We sometimes have to let the pain out, the tears and the frustration roll out like a thunder storm and then I stop and I try to evaluate my life, I try to figure out what I can do to make things better. Think positive and hope that things turn around. Life is too short to always feel down, but sometimes we can’t help but to feel the way we feel. We don’t always expect the things in life to turn our world up side down. This year has been an emotional roller coaster like I said, but I have faith that things in life will get better. A little faith comes a long way…. Do you have faith?

    xo,
    kristin nicole
    ~Random Thoughts~