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Author: staging_bwnrtf

  • Juggling your life.

    In times of stress I try to sit back, take a hot bubble bath and think about what I need to do to get back on track. Or sometimes I try to think of absolutely nothing at all. 🙂

    Juggling your life…

    It isn’t easy. Life gives you ups and downs and sometimes we go sideways, but somehow with all the worries and all the stress we figure it out and we come up on top. For me I struggle with a full time job, school, and home. I work every week from 7-4pm and then in between during lunch and when I get home I have school work, and just recently I moved into my new place. So as you can imagine after a few years of absolute spoilness (okay that might not be a word, but anyhow…) I now have to do everything myself. I have to cook dinner, do laundry and cook. Yes I have a boyfriend and he’s been helping me do dishes and clean up but even with some help it’s a bit tough. Getting into the routine of things is hard. If I didn’t have school it might be a little easier, but I’m pushing myself everyday to keep going.

    For some it’s easier….

    For me, it’s hard… School as always been a struggle for me and each day, each class gets harder with more work. If you aren’t born into a family that can afford your education you have to juggle a full time job and school. You have to take student loans and books to survive. You have to take care of yourself, your job and your education, and sometimes I just feel like calling it quits! Then when my head stops stressing and I have time to actually think, I stop myself and I think about all the hard work I’ve already put into it, and I keep on going, and I keep on pushing through. No one ever told me life would be so hard, but then again no one ever told me it would be easy either.

    xo,
    kristin nicole
    ~Random Thoughts~

  • My husband cheated for 4 years…

    The Question:

    Dear kristin nicole;

    I have read all your blogs and I have decided to write you my concerns hoping to find help by answering all my questions,
    but before that I need to narrate what happened.

    My husband and I were together for 13yrs and married for 4yrs now we have a 3.5 yrs old daughter,he was my first love.
    He is working for a luxury cruise line and away for 10 months.

    It came to my attention recently that he’s been involved with a 21yrs old passenger and just last year he went off to London. He said that he will try to find a job there, but all along he was with her. He stayed in her house, and when he came back he was a bit cold. He doesn’t want sex, he told me that he’s no longer happy; as a wife I tried to fix whatever it is that was bothering him cause I thought this was just about money. He is depressed and I did whatever it takes for him to feel that he is not alone. On March 2010 he went back on board I thought we were ok then.
    After he flew for work he will only place a call once a month and I never hear him say I love you…(Kristin I know you will tell me that he doesn’t love me anymore.)

    In short my husband is having an affair and he’s been cheating on me for 4 long years, I read all of this from his emails that I don’t know about.. I confronted him and ask him all the questions that I am entitled to know; also I told him that I will report this to his manning agency here in the Philippines. He answered everything, and explained that he used the girl for him to have a job in London. He only did it for us to have a good life and to find a stable job but all he’s emails doesn’t look like he’s using the girl. He is begging me to accept him again not for the sake of our daughter but for the sake of our relationship, he also told me that he does not love the other women.

    My question is:

    1. Is he trying to fix this situation because he’s just afraid he might be terminated?
    2. Does he really love me or he is already involved (emotionally) with this girl cause I’m thinking that aside from he opened up to me that he is no longer happy he doesn’t call us more often and no I love yous than the usual.
    3. I am thinking of leaving him for him to learn his lesson and prove to him something but he is begging me not to do it; my worries is what if he is just doing all these sorry stuffs but in the long run he will only leave us.
    4. What do you think the best thing to do cause my mind is all mixed up…

    Kristin I know you can help me please do help me…
    Looking forward for your reply.

    ~ms. blue

    My Response:

    Dear ms. blue;

    Lets start off with that you have been married for four years, and he’s been cheating on you for FOUR years! He’s been unfaithful to you and your family from the moment you got married? Is this the type of person you want to truly spend the rest of your life with? I understand that some couples have to sacrifice time away from each other and I do not know the situation you are in at home financially, but being away for 10 months is way too long, when you have a wife and a child at home. You already said to me: “(Kristin I know you will tell me that he doesn’t love me anymore.)” I can’t say that he doesn’t love you, I am sure that a part of him does, because that is why he stayed with you, and that is why you have a child together, but loving someone and being in love with someone are two different things. Your husband has cheated on you and it doesn’t just affect you, it affects your daughter, your family.

    Your husband only wanted to make it work when you threatened to tell his manning agency (I am assuming they do not tolerate infidelity). Do you realize that it wasn’t until you threatened him to tell his agency about the affair did he then only asked you not to leave him? Of course he is going to tell you things like, he doesn’t love this other women, and that he was only with her to get a job. “He did it for you”. REALLY?!? So is it okay for you to sleep with another man to get a better job? But it’s okay if you did it for him, right? NO IT’S NOT OKAY!!! That is a lame excuse and you should not fall for it. You need to have respect for yourself, love yourself, and realize that even though it hurts, even though you love him, that you deserve better than this!

    To answer your questions directly:

    1. Is he trying to fix this situation because he’s just afraid he might be terminated? I think you already know this answer, if not you wouldn’t be asking it. Like I already said, he didn’t start asking you to come back to him, or begging for you not to leave him until you threatened to tell his agency. What does this tell you?

    2. Does he really love me or he is already involved (emotionally) with this girl cause I’m thinking that aside from he opened up to me that he is no longer happy he doesn’t call us more often and no I love yous than the usual? If the girl he was cheating on you with is 21 and he’s been cheating on you with her for 4 years, are you telling me that she was only 17 when he started sleeping with her? Okay 1. That is wrong on all levels. 2. If it is the same girl for 4 years then I think it may be clear to say that yes he is emotionally involved. 3. A 21 year old was supposed to get him a job in LONDON???? How much power does this girl have over there? 4. Are you sure this is the only girl he’s had an affair with?
    He doesn’t call you and he doesn’t tell you I love you, does this sound like a man who really wants to save his marriage?

    3. I am thinking of leaving him for him to learn his lesson and prove to him something but he is begging me not to do it; my worries is what if he is just doing all these sorry stuffs but in the long run he will only leave us?     Do not leave him for the reasons you say. You leaving him is not going to teach him any kind of lesson he already doesn’t know. You can not leave him expecting him to learn some kind of lesson and come running back to you. You should leave him because he was unfaithful, you should leave him because you deserve someone to love you for you and be faithful to not only you but your daughter. Think about your daughter, is he?

    4. What do you think the best thing to do cause my mind is all mixed up???     The best thing for you to do is really think about what you are feeling, read what you wrote to me, and truly find it inside you to get up and be strong.

    No one deserves to be cheated on, no one deserves to feel the way you are feeling right now. Your husband has cheated on you, he’s betrayed your trust and your love. He has only asked for you not to leave him once you threatened to tell his agency, and he barely calls you or tells you that he loves you. He’s not only NOT calling you, he’s not calling to speak to his daughter that he barely sees. Is this a marriage? Is this a family? Have respect for yourself and love yourself. You can only be strong once you realize that you deserve a real man! A man who will work for his family but not cheat on his family.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    ~Remember to always respect yourself and love yourself, this is the only way one can see the truth in what we don’t want to see.~

  • Moving in & Moving on up…

    Moving In & Moving on up…

    Okay so I don’t drive a fancy car and my apartment isn’t a Penthouse suite, but I have to say my little apartment is super chic and cute. I have to admit I’ve moved out before but this moving process seemed like a lot of work.

    We started moving Friday 08/06/10. My boyfriend and brother took the stuff from his house and loaded up the U-Haul truck… there wasn’t much but clothes and a few boxes/bags and the TV, so off they went from South Miami, to Pembroke Pines. There my dad helped them move the rest of the stuff into the U-Haul truck; my bed, two night stands, TV Stand and a few boxes and clothes etc. I brought them lunch and they were able to go to the building earlier to move in, so off they go to Downtown Miami…..

    Downtown… When you’re alone
    And life is making you lonely,
    You can always go downtown

    Up and down they go, moving furniture and boxes…. Meanwhile, I had errands to run, I worked that day at 6:30 in the morning, then I left work at 12pm to head to the Doral to drop off some paperwork, then up to Pembroke Pines where I took the guys food. We ate, they went to downtown and I went to Target and Sedanos to buy a few things I knew we would need to munch on and drink while we were there until I went Grocery shopping Saturday morning. I got the apartment and the guys were thirsty so they each grabbed a bottle water (Good thing I bought some bottle water), they finished unloading and headed to drop the U-Haul Truck back to it’s destination. Meanwhile, I started cleaning up and unpacking. It didn’t look like we had much to unpack, and our place isn’t that big, but it took Friday until 9pm, Saturday after grocery shopping and unloading and cleaning and finishing up until 10pm and Sunday, well Sunday we went up to Ikea in Ft. Lauderdale and bought ourselves a couch 🙂

    We are now sitting in our apartment with a couch, a bed and a desk in our den. I can truly say that I am finally just about settled in…we have a few more things we need to get (like kitchen supplies) but all in all everything is looking up. Moving in and moving on up…

    Downtown…..

    xo
    kristin nicole

    Special Thanks to everyone who helped us move in:

    My boyfriend: Thank you for always calming me down when things seem to get rough, and always being there for me. Thank you for all the hard work you put in with the move.

    My brother: Thank you for helping us move and even taking the day off. You are the best brother a sister can possibly ask for.

    My sister in-law: Thank you for always being there for me, if it wasn’t for you, we might not even be in this place…

    My Mom: I couldn’t ask for a better mother, best friend who is always by my side no matter what. Thank you for helping me clean and get my place settled in, you don’t know how much you helped me.

    My Dad: Thank you for helping us move and always being there for us.

    My In-Laws: Thank you, for always supporting us, helping supply us with things for the apartment and for just being you.

    My Sister: Thank you for coming over and helping me and thank you for always making us laugh.

    I love you all so much! THANK YOU!

  • Would you trust this women?

    The Question:

    She lives an hour away. She never invites me to her place or will hang out with me near her home or where she works. Refuses to see me during the work week. She never calls and maybe texts me once or twice a week. The only time I see her is when she drives down to my place or we meet in a hotel. She has guy friends. She admits to sleeping with one before we dated. She says I should trust her what are your thoughts?

    My Response:

    Dear Trustworthy;

    If you are asking all these questions, then the answer is right in front of you. You obviously don’t trust her, and I don’t blame you. If you are dating and sleeping together and she hasn’t taken you home, then I would wonder if perhaps she is married or living with a boyfriend. Maybe she has a kid and she doesn’t want you to meet him or her. Either way, there is definitely something there. You hardly talk, she only texts you once or twice a week and you don’t see her during the week. If you do see her, you are meeting in hotels, and I’m pretty sure you aren’t doing much talking there. If you want to just stay with her for the few romps in the sheet once a week, then go for it, but if you want a relationship with this women I would advise asking her straight out all the questions you are asking. Be honest and if you really want a relationship with this women then you need to be up front with her about what you are feeling. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Am I spending enough time with him?

    The Question:

    My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now and we live about an hour apart, so we don’t get to see each other that much. Maybe once or twice a week ( half a day) some weeks we don’t even see each other. He was overseas for Christmas and I didn’t see him for a month. I’m not the kind of person to cling to him or be obsessed and stuff but recently its been bugging me. The fact that he isn’t here when I need him really gets to me :(. I don’t think we spend enough time with each other although he says he tries his best. I don’t go out with my guy and girl friends anymore because it upsets him if I go alone. He has uni all the time and stuff and so do I but i try to make time for him and he does not seem to make time for me. We were suppose to go out with friends on Friday but he said he has a group meeting. We changed it to Saturday and he says he promised his friend they would hang out! Should I just break up with him??

    My Response:

    Dear Long Distance;

    It’s a hard decision and I can see that you really care for him and perhaps even love him, but long distance relationships whether it be across the country or just an hour away is hard. You need a boyfriend that is there for you, you can’t really have a true relationship if you aren’t able to spend time together and get to know each other in person. No one can make the decision for you to break up with him or not, that is something that only you can do. The fact that you are asking the question shows that it is on your mind. Evaluate your relationship, you said:

    ** You live an hour away, but you only see each other 1 to 2 times a week and only for half a day. (An hour isn’t a short drive, but it also isn’t that far), if he really wants to see you he’ll make the effort to come down on the weekends. I’m not sure how his schedule is, so maybe he can’t come down on the weekends, and if this is the case this is something that is hard to change.

    ** You don’t go out with your friends because he does not like you going out alone. (Okay, if you aren’t hanging out with him because he wants to hang out with his guy friends, explain to me why it’s okay for him but not for you)?

    Long distance is hard, and if one of you is making the effort and the other person isn’t, then there is a decision you definitely have to make. I know it’s hard but if you love him, and he really wants to make it work, you guys will figure it out. If you feel it isn’t going to work, then it’s best to go your separate ways now and find someone closer that you can have a good relationship with. Someone you can see more often and go on dates with. Take maybe a few days off from each other and see how you feel then. Don’t keep waiting though, time doesn’t stop for love….
    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Recent forced breakup with girlfriend!?

    The Question:

    I have had a recent breakup with my long-term girl friend because she has lost the love she once had for me and does not want to be with me anymore. I have never cheated on her or hurt her. I have always stood up for her and been by her side fighting through thick and thin, She has now left me even though i begged her to not leave me as I love her a lot. What can I do to win her back someday? I am prepared to wait for her whenever she decides to return to me. Also I am a loner with little or no friends. Is it possible that this girl will see my true love for her someday?

    My Response:

    Dear Loner;

    I know this is hard… to lose someone you love, to have always been there for them and wonder why they just one day decided to not love you anymore. Unfortunately you can wait days, months or maybe even years, but the fact remains that she had to make a decision and if she feels that she doesn’t love you, then it was best that she told you then to leave you lingering around hoping to one day grow in a relationship that isn’t even there. We all choose things in life, you say that you are a loner with little or no friends. Start opening up, you need get confidence and realize that you are worth it, and that you can also have friends. Start hanging out with the little friends you do have, and open up to them. Start talking to other girls and you may get turned down a few times, but if you have the confidence you will meet someone who will love you for you. I know it’s hard now, but you have to move forward, and one day you will see that her breaking up with you is better than her lying to you about loving you. Love is hard, but get the courage to get back out there, stop being a loner and start hanging out with friends, you don’t know what you are missing out on until you get out there.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Son in law wiggled his sex package in front of me last night?

    The Question:

    My son in law said I looked depressed and horny and he thought I needed a pick me up.I am all that but he is my son in law and he wiggled his sex package in front of me last night. How can I get a guy like my son in law to do that for me otherwise?…

    My Response:

    Dear Depressed;

    I think the main concern here is the fact that your daughters son is wiggling his “package” in front of you. Do you not find this a concern for your daughter? First I would worry about the subject at hand, I think you need to be honest with your daughter and tell her that her husband is going around showing you his “package”. That is the first thing that needs to stop. Then get down to why you are feeling depressed. Feeling horny is natural for a persons body to go through, so stop being depressed, get off the couch and get out there. Start hanging out with friends and try to meet a nice guy. You definitely don’t want someone like your son in law. Would you want your boyfriend or husband showing their “package” to someone else? You need to see why you are feeling depressed and do something about it. I know it’s easier said than done. I don’t know how old you are, or why you are feeling depressed so I can’t give you more advice unless I know what you are feeling. My main point, tell your daughter about your son in law, tell him that was inappropriate and find out why you are feeling depressed. Horny??? Get a toy for now to satisfy your needs, until you can meet a good guy to do it for you.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Why do in-laws interfere in relationships?

    The Question:

    Although me and my girlfriend are not married we have a son together whose 2. We seem to always get into this situation sometimes not all the time where if my girlfriend is upset about something the mum is blaming me. An example is my girlfriend started to cry cause my son wouldn’t eat his dinner she starts crying and the mum is saying this happens cause I spoil him. Everything I tell my girlfriend she tells her mum she is Slovakian and does not speak English. She comes over a few times a year. I told her I was not interested in her opinion and what she says cause if feels at times I’m getting teamed up against me. Am I out of order? How much influence should in laws have?

    My Response:

    Dear Influenced;

    Unfortunately in-laws sometimes tend to interfere because they think they are helping more then harming the situation. You need to talk to your girlfriend, because you do not want to make a relationship that is already rocky with the in-laws worse than what they already are. Explain to your girlfriend that you feel uncomfortable and that you do not like when her mother starts blaming you for things going wrong in the house. If your mother in-law only visits a few times out of the year, try not to stress about it too much, at least she isn’t over every weekend. When she is over, try to do stuff around the house (yard work) anything to try and make space so she can be with your girlfriend alone and you don’t have to really be involved with their time together. Make time to sit with them for dinner so she see’s you are still making time to spend with her, even if she is a pain in the you know what. It’s best to get along with the in-laws, because they will be in your life for a long time. Talk to your girlfriend and tell her how you feel. Communication is key…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Life’s Hard…

    Life is a mystery... (Isn’t that a Madonna song?) Anyway…. I am not old and I know I have many journeys to overcome and many obstacles to pass and I have a lot to learn along the way, but I don’t think that I will ever understand life.

    Sometimes we pray so hard for something that never seems to happen, other times we barely wish for it and “BAMB” you have it. In every moment of my life that something has happened I wonder if this is what is truly what is meant for me or is this some kind of challenge or lesson that I need to learn and overcome?


    Life is Hard…

    But in the end, we still live it, we still enjoy it, we still curse it, and we all love it at one point in our lives. The question everyone asks “Why is life so hard?”, the same question no one has an answer to, is the same question I constantly find myself asking. In the end we have no answer, we keep living our lives and trying to make the best of it.

    Life is truly a mystery, so don’t spend so much time trying to figure it out and just live it. Life is too short and I’ve learned that we need to live in the Now, we need to enjoy today, and we need to spend it with the people we love.

    Today I start a new chapter in my life. I am moving into my new Condo with my boyfriend and I am blessed to have the support of my family and friends. Thank you for all of those who have helped us along the way, we love you.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    P.S. – Get Ready to PARTY! ~

  • Everything Happens for a Reason!?!

    everything happens for a reason

    FRUSTRATION!

    Frustration is a feeling we get when things don’t seem to be going our way. I try to think positive when frustration hits, but it’s so hard when your emotions are going 100 miles a minute and all you can think about is what you are not getting and what is hurting you in the moment. Everything happens for a reason though! Right??? I mean that’s what I’ve always said, and even my mom said, that I was a true believer in that. For goodness sakes I even preach it to others, but why is it so much more difficult in the moment to believe that what is happening is really for a reason?


    Everything Happens for a Reason…..

    Who came up with this saying? And why is it that in the end I TRULY believe this to be true? Many things have happened to me that I still don’t know the meaning for, and some things happen where I turn around and say “wow that really needed to happen for me to get where I am now”. Of course this didn’t happen right in the moment. Sometimes I want to just scream and throw a tantrum like when you are 2 years old. Sometimes I want to just cry and ask why oh why. And sometimes I just want to be left alone to think about what is truly happening in the moment and wonder if this doesn’t happen, if this doesn’t go my way, what’s next?!?

    In those moments….

    When everything seems to be going wrong, I sometimes get this calming feeling come over me, like something or someone telling me that everything is going to be okay. It’s strange, but I believe that feeling, and I take in that calm comforting feeling that everything is really going to be just “OKAY”. Even though I don’t always understand why “things happen for a reason”. I know that it must be true, because we just don’t get where we are by accident, we get there with the choices we make, with the the actions we choose and we get there because “things happen for a reason”.

    xo,
    kristin nicole