Category: Family

  • Is this any of the EX wife’s business?

    The Question:

    My step-son will be 18 in Aug. He has been promised a job and wants to move in with his dad and me. We told him if this job comes through then we would get a personal loan in order for him to purchase a used car. We told him he would have to make the payments on the loan and pay his own insurance. He agreed. My hubby called his EX wife and asked her if this was ok with her. I feel it is none of her business. She isn’t going to be part of the loan application, making the payments or the insurance plus the child will be 18 when this takes place.

    My response:

    Dear Step-Mom;

    I understand where you are coming from, but just because he’s 18 doesn’t mean the mother won’t worry about her son, or that she isn’t going to want to know what’s going on with him. I don’t know the situation between the son and his mother and why he wants to move in with you guys, but I have to agree with your husband on this one BUT not entirely. Let me explain….I agree with him giving the Ex wife the heads up, she has a right to know what is going on with her son, and that he will be driving soon and living with you guys, I don’t agree with asking for “approval”, after all he is going to be 18 therefor any share custody or full custody is now out of the question. I don’t think that she needs to approve anything, he will be 18 and the father has every right to get him a car or do as he pleases with his son, however I think it’s just nice of him to give her the heads up, I don’t think it should bother you much, it really isn’t going to change anything. Trust your husband and the way he’s handling things, and don’t worry so much about what the Ex wife needs to know or doesn’t need to know. Now if he’s telling her personal stuff about your life then that’s things she DOESN’T need to know. Other then that, I think telling her about the car is fine, having to get approval is NOT fine.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I get too involved with my daughters social life..what can I do to stop?

    The-Question:

    I never realized how hard it is being a parent until my daughter reached middle school. I feel like I get too involved with her social life. Don’t get me wrong, she talks to me about everything and I give my opinion. However, I notice A LOT that I will take her cell phone and read her messages. She doesn’t get mad.. maybe sometimes irritated but never mad. I guess I just want to make sure everything is good and there are no mean texts from other girls etc. She is very liked but sometimes I worry about jealousy and kids can be brutal.. especially girls. I know that when I was in 6th grade it was the worst time of my life. I was new in school.. boys liked me and the girls absolutely hated me because of it. They treated me so badly that I would cry in my room every night and always felt sick to my stomach. Once they moved and I continued into the 7th grade it was better. But when I moved my freshman year into another new school the same thing happened. (my dad was in the military) I ended up hanging out with Seniors because they took me under their wing because of the way my class was treating me. BTW.. It got better and ended up being the best years of my life. However, I worry about my daughter. I try to teach her at a young age that she should never “date” her friends ex boyfriends. Her and her boyfriend broke up which she is OK with it.. she’s young, they don’t do anything that would make them cry.. at least yet. But one of her best friends ex started texting her asking her out and she said no she couldn’t do that to her best friend. Her friend found out, thinks that she likes him and now she likes my daughters ex. It’s so crazy and so much drama it drives me crazy. I feel like I’m living my life through my daughter all over again. Her two friends are mad at her and I immediately felt sick to my stomach the same way I did when I was her age. Why am I like this?? I couldn’t go to sleep last night because I’m so worried about her but she’s not having any of the feelings like I did. She’s going on like everything is OK and I’m so proud of her for that. But why can’t I get over it? She is a good girl, can pout a lot sometimes but overall, she’s great. Makes really good grades, very athletic, very pretty, and most importantly has a good heart. Are their any other moms or dads out there that feel the way I do or am I just retarded?!?!? LOL.. It really bothers me. I don’t know how to stop thinking my life is going to be hers… Sincere advice would be greatly appreciated.

    My response:

    Dear too involved;

    My mom goes through this with my sister a lot, wanting to know everything, and always giving advice, driving yourself crazy because you don’t want your kid to make the same mistakes you made, or in your case, you don’t want her to feel the way you felt when you were her age. It’s good to give advice, and it’s great that your daughter goes to you about everything, this alone should give you peace of mind into thinking and knowing you don’t need to go through your daughters phone, you need to baby her every step of the way. I know it’s hard to see someone you love grow up, and you don’t want them getting hurt. I think your main problem is you are trying to re-live your life through hers, and you are still hurt from what happened to you so many years ago. You need to let that go, the past is the past and you are doing just great now, and that’s all that matters, Don’t look at it has a bad thing, even if you did cry all those nights, it’s what made you into the strong women you are today. You even said it yourself, the rest of your high school years ended up to be one of your greatest. Let your daughter make her mistakes, be there for her and give her advice, but it sounds to me like your daughter is living her life just fine. In middle school, things are always hard, it’s the awkward stage of life, girls are going to get jealous and they are going to get into fights, let your daughter fight her own battles and don’t worry about her so much. She is obviously doing just fine with what is going on right now with her friends. They’ll get over it, and they will be friends again, that’s what teenagers do. And if she looses a friend, she’ll only come to realize that, that person wasn’t a friend to begin with, and she has all her life to meet and make new and great friends. She has so many more years of awkward stages, and fights with friends, you can’t drive yourself crazy trying to fix every little fight she has. She’ll be fine, just look at you now; Your fine, and it seems to me by what you said, that your daughter is already doing just FINE! Just remind yourself when you feel like going through her phone, that your daughter is smart, and you have taught her right from wrong, and she will know how to handle anything that comes her way, and if she has a question just remind her that you are always there to give her advice.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Thanksgiving Recipe’s & Ideas for 2009

    Another year is close to an end and we are only 3 days away from Thanksgiving 2009.

    Everyone has their own traditional Thanksgiving dinner. I want to know what you do for Thanksgiving?

    My family each bring a plate and someone in the family hosts the Thanksgiving dinner at their house, this person cooks the Turkey. This year my mom is taking the day off and we are doing Thanksgiving at my cousins house. So this year I was told to bring a green-bean casserole, wine and a fruit platter. TOLD? Yes TOLD, I didn’t get to choose, I left early when they decided this and so I was told to bring these things. Mind you, I like cooking but I don’t really eat green-bean casserole and I’ve never made it. So…. Wine, Check. Fruit platter, Check. Green-bean Casserole….hmmmm, my sister in law was so kind not to only give me coupons but a nice recipe to go with it. I hope it comes out good, does anyone have any other recipes they would like to share other then the Campbell Recipe? Well if you are interested here is the recipe:



    Ingredients:

    – 2 cabs (10 3/4 oz each) Campbell’s Condensed Cream of Mushroom Sup (regular or 98% Fat Free or Healthy Request)
    – 1 cup milk
    – 2 tsp. soy sauce
    – 1/4 tsp. ground black pepper
    – 8 cups cooked cut green beans
    – 1 can (6oz) French’s French Fried Onions (2 2/3 cups)

    Directions:
    1. Stir soup, milk, soy suace, black pepper, beans and 1 1/3 cups onion in 3-qt casserole.
    2. Bake at 350F for 25 min. or unit hot. Stir
    3. Top with remaining onions, Bake for 5 min. more

    And there you go, Green-bean casserole. Not that hard huh?!?

    Every year my brother, sister in law and group of friends do a Friends Thanksgiving the Friday after Thanksgiving. So this year I chose to bring a Baked Mashed Potato with Parmesan Cheese and Bread Crumbs, Thanks to Giada De Laurentiis (Everyday Italian from the Foodnetwork channel).

    Ingredients:
    – 1 tablespoon butter
    – 4 pounds russet potatoes, peeled, cut into 1-inch pieces
    – 1 cup whole milk
    – 1/2 cups grated mozzerella
    – 1 cup freshly grated parmesan
    – Salt and freshly ground black pepper
    – 2 tablespoons plain dry bread crumbs

    Directions:
    Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Coat a 13 by 9 by 2-inch baking dish with 1 tablespoon of butter and set aside.

    Cook the potatoes in a large pot of boiling salted water until they are very tender, about 15 minutes. Drain; return the potatoes to the same pot and mash well. Mix in the milk and melted butter. Mix i the mozzarella and 3/4 cup of Parmesan. Season, to taste with salt and pepper. Transfer the potatoes to the prepared baking dish. Stir the bread crumbs and remaining 1/4 cup of Parmesan in a small bowl to blend. Sprinkle the bread crumb mixture over the mashed potatoes. Recipe can be prepared up to this point 6 hours ahead of time; cover and chill.

    Bake, uncovered, until the topping is golden brown, about 20 minutes.

    Of course I will let you know how each dish comes out. Wish me luck.

    Other ideas are to decorate with pumpkins and turkeys. Colors are fall, so bring out the oranges, and browns. If you have small kids, cupcakes are always fun to make with the kids and you can use orange dye for the frosting.

    Have a wonderful Holiday and Please share your recipe’s and ideas with me.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Dreams – Good or Bad?!?

    So many things come to mind when you think about dreams.

    Dreams

    Dream = A series of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations occurring involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep.

    Have you ever had a dream so intense, so clear it just sticks with you forever? How many years has it been since you had that dream? Was it a good dream or a bad one?

    My Dream

    I had a dream when I was about 6 or 7 years old, that I will always remember. It started off that I was in the neighborhood I grew up in, it was dark and foggy (Yes here in Miami), and I was walking with one of my mom’s friends. We were looking for my mom and went up to the shopping center by my house and I found a dirty looking restroom, and inside their was a shower. The shower was running and the curtain was closed. I opened it and found my mom shot, and bleeding. I yelled for her to wake up and she told me to run, run as fast as I could home, and call for help. I ran out, trying to find my house when I bumped into my mom’s friend, I told her about my mom and she grabbed my arm, telling me I wasn’t going for help and that I would listen to whatever she told me to do. I struggled from her grip and ran around my neighborhood trying to find my home, crying and scared that mom was going to die. I then woke up in sweats, and crying for my mother. For some reason that dream as always stuck with me. A dream I’ll never forget.

    I have had a couple dreams that have stuck with me. Dreams I can visualize so vividly in my mind as if I had them last night. And yet these were dreams I had when I was a little girl. I have also had dreams much older that I also will never forget. Dreams that looked so real, and felt so real, and the next day have actually happened, just as I dreamed it would.

    Have you ever had a dream like this? If so please let me know so I can blog about it.

    “There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why… I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?”
    ~Robert Francis Kennedy

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • 1-Pound Miami Baby Beats the Odds

    The story:

    Baby Gabriella was born March 5 being premature at only 23 weeks and only weighting 1lb 1 oz, is one of the smallest surviving preemies at Jackson Memorial Hospital and they said she only had a 15% chance of surviving. She not only beat the odds but she survived a lung disease, multiple surgeries, and several infections. Her parents where always there cheering her on, singing to her and giving her hope to keep living.

    Gabriella’s parents mother Maruja and father Miguel where excited that after eight long months in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unite at Holtz Children’s hospital, they finally got to dress up their baby girl and take her home.

    Now Gabriella weighs 12 pounds. Doctors are astounded by her progress. She has to still take a little bit of oxygen and a few medications but Dr. Shahnaz Duara says she’s quite healthy.

    My thoughts:

    This is one of those stories that you can’t believe. A story and a miracle. This baby had very low chances of surviving, and this just proves that when your odds are low, have faith, because there is always a small chance that the door on the other end will open. This baby now has a chance to life thanks to all the doctors who helped her survive.

    This is the kind of the story that makes you sit back and appreciate life.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    If you want to read more on about this story go to www.nbcmiami.com

  • I-Team: Danger On The Road – Last Years accident and the trauma

    This story is brought to you by cbs4.com Reporting: Michele Gillen

    The story

    It was 4:12 p.m. on a September day last year when the first call for help was placed to 911.

    “There are kids and the bus is engulfed in flames,” a distraught witness pleaded into the phone. “Please help!”

    At that very moment, a Marion County Sheriffs department helicopter was headed toward the scene of this horrific accident. Within minutes, a camera mounted on the helicopter captured the sight of an 18-wheeler that smashed dead on into the rear of a school bus crowded with children. Rescuers feared the columns of smoke spotted miles away, signaled death.

    At the moment of impact, Rhonda Arbuckle, a mother who had three children on the school bus was in her home, more than a half mile away. She looked at the living room clock knowing shortly she would head out to pick up her children from the bus stop. She froze as he heard an unusual sound.

    Arbuckle turned cold with fear. She had a premonition.

    “I hear a sound that goes, ‘Poof,’” she recalls standing in that very spot of her home. “I literally see in my mind’s eye, a semi come and hit the back of my school bus with my kids on the bus, and I see it burst into flames. And I see the flames shooting up in the air.” And then, she says she heard a message, “I heard two words scream in my head, “NO….GOOOOOO!!”

    At that, not even stopping to put on a shirt, Arbuckle jumped in her car and raced to her children’s bus stop turning to look down the road.

    “There it is. The semi, the truck the flames are shooting up into the air. I could hear children screaming,” an emotional Arbuckle reveals. On impact from the truck, the school bus was catapulted a football field away.

    According to police reports, the truck driver didn’t stop.

    Chaos ensued on the ground, as Arbuckle ran to the burning bus. More than a dozen children who made it off the bus are lining the road, some are visibly injured. She embraced her daughter Natalie who had made it out alive, but realized her other two children, and perhaps other children were still on the burning bus.

    “It’s an inferno,” Arbuckle explained to CBS4 Chief I-Team Investigator Michele Gillen. “If my kids could have gotten off the bus, they would be off the bus too.”

    While many looked on in horror, Arbuckle headed into the flaming bus, rescuing her injured son, Josh, and heading back in to find her youngest daughter JaSena.

    “When she turned and looked at me, her entire skull was open and I am looking into the skull of my daughter, and then she collapsed,” Arbuckle said.

    Having pulled her daughter to safety, she tried to go back in, to save another little girl, whose legs she had spotted under a seat. In tears, she explained to Gillen, “I am thinking I have got to get this little girl, as I turn back, that’s all I needed, one more trip down that aisle.”

    But just then the bus exploded and she couldn’t reach 13-year-old Francis Margay Schee who died from the flames and smoke. Her mother arrived on the scene praying her daughter had made it out alive and was in the rescue truck that passed her on the highway.

    On learning that Arbuckle tried but could not reach her child in time, Elissa Schee mournfully told Gillen, “I only wish God would have given her one more minute. It’s miraculous that more kids were not lost in this crash.”

    Mark Avera, the Arbuckle family attorney, has been investigating Florida deaths due to big rig accidents for years. He told Gillen, “It wasn’t a question of if someone was going to get hurt or killed, it was just when.”

    According to police reports, the truck driver, Reinaldo Andujar Gonzolez, had driven hours beyond what’s legally allowed, and “did not have sufficient rest.” He told police he had been on his cell phone right before he crashed into bus.

    The accident prompted the US Department of Transportation to review records of the freight company where the truck driver worked. Investigators say they found dozens of violations, including allowing drivers to drive more hours than the law allows, and allegations of falsified records. The company was ultimately fined $54,000. Fines for violations such as falsifying records or driving without sleep have not changed since the age of President Dwight Eisenhower. Criminal charges against the truck driver include vehicular homicide. He has pleaded not guilty.

    It is a case that opens a chilling window into the dangers all of us unknowingly face everyday on Florida highways — accidents involving Big Rigs. Florida ranks 3rd in the nation for deadly truck accidents and it’s a problem that can affect everyone on the road.

    And now, according to some past and former drivers, it’s a risk we need to be ever more worried about because of today’s troubled economy.

    “Michele, it is just a huge problem,” says Jane Mathis, the Florida volunteer coordinator for the Truck Safety Coalition and a board member of Parents Against Tired Truckers.

    “The average of 5,000 people a year are killed in big truck accidents every single year plus an average of over 100,000 are injured every single year that is basically the deaths are basically equivalent to losing 100 people in a major airplane crash every week of every month of every year,” Mathis details. “Do you not think if that was all over the front page of the newspaper, that the people in the United States would be up in arms over it? Of course, they would.”

    Mathis says it’s a deadly secret, the pain she knows too well, sharing a wedding picture of her son and his new bride with Gillen

    “Yes David and Mary Katherine, right,” Mathis begins to explain that they were just returning from a Florida honeymoon cruise and driving on I- 95, when their car, stopped in traffic, was rear ended by a truck that barreled into it at 60 miles per hour. It was suspected the truck driver had been asleep at the wheel. His son’s cars imploded on impact, he and his bride were burned to death.

    Mathis long fully ponders, “Who would have ever thought? I had wedding and funeral flowers at my house at the same time.”

    It’s taken a dozen surgeries and procedures to rebuild the face and skull of Rhonda Arbuckle’s youngest daughter, 12-year-old JaSenna. It is considered a miraculous recovery that never would have had a chance, had she not had a premonition and the courage to run into that burning bus.

    But in the memory of the child she couldn’t reach, she shares the tears of Margay Shee’s mother, who is left with an inconsolable loss and question.

    (You can read more on this story on the link above)

    My thoughts:

    It’s incredible to me how we have not tried sooner to stop these truck drivers from illegally going over the hour limits of what they are supposed to drive. This accident happened over a year ago, and still they are trying to make things better. One girl lost her life that day, and when I read this story I had to hold back my tears. I couldn’t imagine being the mother coming up to that scene, having my daughter taken away from me like that. I couldn’t be the mother who helped save those children, who had to see her own daughters skull open, and is still going through surgeries to make it better, a mother who couldn’t help another child but tried. This story is incredible, to know there are people out there who are willing to put their lives at risk to saving others (a civilian). It saddens me that these truck drivers care more about the money then their own lives or lives of others they are putting at risk while driving this way.

    I am always afraid of these truck drivers and this just proved that my fear is only right. When I read that Florida is 3rd in the nation for most deadly truck accidents, it just makes me sick. These are things that should have been enforced a long time ago. One can only hope that justice finally pulls through.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • I need a Vacation

    I need a vacation, and I needed it about yesterday. So I know what you’re thinking, didn’t she just go to Seattle in August. YES, YES I DID! And I absolutely loved it. I hope to one day just be able to travel to different cities. Get to know a new place, be away from home enjoying that alone time with my boyfriend and without a worry in mind, for a couple of days, it’s just US. Us and this Great big City we know nothing about.

    Live some place you’ve visited?

    My boyfriend loved Seattle so much he wants to move there, heh. I on the other hand did love it. I do love the West Coast. I lived in San Diego, California for 2 years and I absolutely loved it. I want to go there one of these days with my boyfriend, I think he’ll love it too. I honestly think I was made to be a West Coast Girl. Now the reason I can’t leave Miami, one word, Family. I’m close to them and although I can manage to live away from them, because I have, I now have 2 things or rather I say little people who I adore and love so much, my nephews. I couldn’t see myself leaving and not being in their lives as much. But that doesn’t stop me from my VACATIONS!

    I’m ready… are you?

    I don’t know if I just got the feel of a great vacation or that I’ve just been so stressed with work, school, and always having something to do after my day at work, but I feel like I need another vacation and soon. It’s hard though, because I have to arrange it with my school schedule and I have to have enough time off from work too. Other then that, oh yea I have to save money for it too, but that can be done. Don’t eat out for a while, just save and have a great vacation that follows. I think I can handle that.

    Where do I go next?

    So I’ve been to Seattle. I want to go to Vegas again but with my boyfriend whose never been, but that’s a vacation I would love to save to go with a bunch of our friends. San Diego, I want to go to also, but I want to do a whole week so we can go to LA, Napa Valley and San Fran….Chicago I’ve heard is beautiful and fun, that’ another City we sure want to visit.

    Any Ideas? Any thoughts, or locations you want to visit, let me know, leave a comment.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Overwhelming Life…

    Sometimes life becomes overwhelming. In my case in particular, I work full time from 7am to 4pm then Monday’s and Wednesdays I go to school on campus so my day’s are pretty much from 7 to 7. Tuesdays, Thursdays & Fridays, I try to do as much with my other online classes and every other Thursday I have my nail appointment so I don’t get home until after 6 those days either, and every other Friday I get my acupuncture done. Yes my life is busy. Did I mention that in between all that on the weekends most of the time I’m also studying doing homework Saturday and Sundays and in between I try to make time to hang out with friends and family or we have birthday’s to go to etc. Tomorrow where I usually go home to study I’m meeting with a lady to help me study for my Math test on Monday. Another very much stressed case right there.

    Things you need to try and make time for:

    When life gets overwhelming, no matter how many things you have to do in life, you have to stop, take a breath and enjoy it. I’ve learned through out my life that one day you’re here and the next you can be gone and it doesn’t matter what age you are. When I take a break I spend time watching TV with my boyfriend, writing, or just hanging out with the family and friends. Sometimes I need that break, to just relax and not think of school and the stress of trying to finish as soon as possible. I won’t stop though, as stressful as it is, I’ve also learned that even in today’s world, even if I can’t find a job right away with whatever career I decide to choose, in the end of the day that little paper that say’s I have a degree is all that matters. I will be proud of myself to have been able to go through this long journey of life and say that I finally DID IT!

    “The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows”. ~Sydney J. Harris

    “There is no fate but your own fate”. ~Leslie Grimutter

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Seattle Trip ~ Things I did…

    My Seattle trip was extremely fun and so nice to get away from Miami and the weather.

    Things we did:

    We went to the space-needle. The view was beautiful from up there and I only wish it hadn’t been so foggy. Either way it was a lot of fun to experience. We also took the Underground Tour which I highly recommend if you are ever going to visit Seattle, it gives you a lot of the history on how Seattle was built and the tour guides are funny and fun. The art museum is a must see, if you are really into this kind of stuff. We had to rush a bit through it because we wanted to see it before we came back home (the same day) but it was still really nice to see. Pike Place Market is a must, if you have never been to Seattle it’s just one of those places that you have to see for yourself. All the fresh fruit, seafood, meat, flowers. Oh the flowers…. the flowers were so BEAUTIFUL! We also managed to take the ferrie out to Bainbridge Island. This island is an old town, you walk downtown in about 5 minutes, but it’s so worth going to see the beautiful houses off the island when coming in from the ferries.

    Food, Food and Food~

    We ate, and boy was it good! We ate sushi, and seafood, and steaks oh my! What else do you do on trips?!? If you want to know where we went to eat just ask me and I’ll be happy to link you to my Yelp.com account, where I reviewed all the places I went to.

    Seattle is a beautiful city and I look forward to visiting again.

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

  • Is Money Evil?!?

    Is Money Evil?!?

    The story

    I was listening to the radio this morning about two sisters, 83 and 87 year old, who for a long time always gambled together. In 1997 they had a letter notarized stating that whatever the other won, they would split the sharing’s. In 2005 one of the 83 year old sister won $500k. She won this with her brother and they decided not to share it with their older sister. The 87 year old sister had to find out about their winnings in the newspaper. She is now suing her sister for her part of the money. She says, it’s not about the money, but about morals and the fact that they had a pact to share each others winnings. The sisters had a falling out and the 83 year old women believes she shouldn’t have to share her winnings with her 87 year old sister. The 87 year old sister says she misses her sister but all she wants is what is rightfully hers.

    My Thoughts

    Is money evil?!? Even at the age of 87 and 83, after so many years of knowing what family means, they still let money get in the way. People are still arguing over money. Money has we know it for centuries has destroyed families, friendships and more. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to have a lot of money one day, who wouldn’t, but why does it have to change who you are?!? If you were raised with certain morals, certain beliefs, you need to be strong enough to keep those beliefs and morals, to stay true to yourself. I think what happens, is that people get greedy, and greed unfortunately takes over the love you have for people. This will only leave you lonely and unhappy at the end of the day. I rather be happy and comfortable then rich and miserable.

    Sometimes our hearts get tangled
    And our souls a little off-kilter
    Friends and family can set us right
    And help guide us back to the light.
    ~Sera Christann

    If you want to read more about the story above Click HERE

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole