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Category: Family

  • Is it ok to hate her for stealing my day?

    The Question:

    My husband and I got married last year, we didn’t have any money to have a big wedding, so the two of us went abroad and got married. No one made a fuss, bought us gifts or even a card!! Everyone thought I must have been having a baby or something but its difficult to explain how poor we are, and my parents are also very poor. I feel so upset our friends didn’t make any effort and my husbands family didn’t even send a card.

    My husbands family are very rich and his sister has just got married abroad (where she lives). She is coming over to have a blessing with the family ans chose our wedding date! My in-laws are paying for a castle blessing and full blown reception. They are buying them their honeymoon too. They gave us £100.

    I do feel a little jealous, but that’s life and its her parents choice to spend that money on their daughter, but why steal our day?! We didn’t get a proper wedding and now our 1st wedding anniversary is going to be spoiled. We are financially better off now and in a humph I bought my husband and I a trip abroad to celebrate our anniversary (and to avoid the wedding!!).

    Now i am not sure how to tell everyone we are not going, we have known about it for a good 6/8 weeks now, Also, am i wrong to feel so annoyed???? I feel its not fair of my husbands parents to favor her so much more than him. He is much nicer than her, visits more, buys them more and always sends birthday cards to family etc, she does not.

    Thanks.

    My Response:

    Dear Jealous;

    Unfortunately some parents don’t believe in paying for the son’s wedding and it’s traditional to help with their daughters wedding. So let me get this straight your husbands sisters wedding is on the same day as your wedding anniversary? In this age of time unfortunately not many people think about doing nice things for others, even though you couldn’t afford a wedding so you just eloped your friends and his family having money should have at least offered to take you out to dinner or get you a small gift. I know it’s hard to admit you don’t have money for a wedding but you should have just been honest with at least his family that you couldn’t afford a wedding and you wanted to get married so that is why you eloped. It is also your husbands responsibility to speak up to his family if he’s hurt about them not even sending you guys a card. If you have known about the wedding for 6 to 8 weeks you should have really spoken up then that you had a trip planned on that date, and you had already bought the tickets. I do think it’s a little strange they would pick the same date as yours, and I don’t blame you for being a little jealous considering you didn’t get to have your big wedding or even a party to celebrate. Have your husband tell his family that you aren’t going to the wedding, that’s his family and it’s not your responsibility to tell them. Then go on your one year anniversary trip and have the fun you haven’t been able to have for your wedding. If no one has the consideration to consider your anniversary or do anything for you guys when you got married then don’t worry so much about what they are going to think if you don’t go to the wedding. I would be the bigger person and at least send her a card and a small gift then go on your trip and ENJOY.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Be strong ~ Inspired by Madison Schafer

    Be Strong

    When you feel like your world is falling apart
    have faith and stand strong.
    When you feel like it’s the end of the world
    remember that there are people out there who are suffering more than you are right now.
    If you are the one suffering and you don’t know what to do
    remember to pray
    remember to not hate what you can not control
    remember that we all need love in our hearts to move forward
    because if we give in to the hate,
    if we give in to the sadness
    we are only admitting defeat.
    Stand strong
    Be strong
    Life is a journey
    we all take the bad with the good
    and we all wonder at one point in our lives
    “why is this happening to me”?

    Let love enter your heart
    with love, the world has no end
    with love we know no limits
    with love we have support of the ones we care for
    with love we smile
    with love we cry
    with love we know no boundaries
    and yet we keep loving
    we keep living
    and we keep having the faith that in the end Everything will be alright.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    My thoughts:

    I have been thinking recently about how we all complain about things we aren’t happy about in life. Only you can change the actions that cause your life events and only you can change fate. My last two posts have been about this little girl who is only 20 months old fighting for her life due to a tumor in her brain that is cancerous. Her family I can only imagine is in shambles, wondering what is going to happen, not knowing if tomorrow will come and looking into the beautiful eyes of that baby girl (Madison Schafer). I think about how we complain about things in life, but if you stop just for one second to realize all the beautiful things you have in life you might realize that the bad stuff happening right now is actually not so bad. Realize that there are people out there like the Schafer family who is struggling way more than some people can ever imagine. Have faith and pray and remember that miracles do happen, positive thinking really does change outcomes and in the end remember the people you love, love them back because tomorrow is never promised. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, and we take so many things for granted, we take life for granted. Pray like there is no tomorrow, love like you have never loved before, and live life to your fullest. ~Live, Love, Laugh~

    © ~written by: kristin nicole – 09.16.10 @7:35 am ~

    Today the Schafer family will learn about Madison’s condition and they will see what treatments they will need to give Madison for her recovery. My prayers are with them all.

  • Madison Schafer – Baby with Brain Cancer

    Madison Schafer

    I am not sure how old Madison Schafer is but she can’t be more than 2 years old. She looks really young, I was on my face-book account this morning when I saw an old co-workers post about a little girl in her daughters school who has brain cancer. I clicked on the link and began to read her story. They literally just found out that she had Brain Cancer yesterday. Before that it was only 5 days ago when they noticed something was wrong with the baby.

    Brain Tumor/Cancer

    On September 9th a CAT Scan resulted in a large tumor in the brain, they had an emergency surgery scheduled that same night to get it out, as they set out to take out the fleshy part of the tumor Madison’s heart stopped three times, so they had to stop the surgery. They later sent a sample to Harvard to a brain specialist to determine if in fact it was Cancer. An MRI later showed that the tumor is holding liquid around the brain and not draining on it’s own so they had to place a drain in her head to drain the liquid, they were hoping that the liquid would start draining on it’s own. Madison is starting to move her bowel and eating, so they took the catheter out and the family is waiting on the next step to cure the cancer.

    My Thoughts:

    This story touched my heart, it is scary and hard to live through something like this with such a small child. The school has a website where you can follow Madisons recovery at Kidsforkidsacademy.com. You can follow her recovery, and you can help the family by either donating money, food, or anything that will help them through this difficult time. Some people are donating Publix or Winn Dixie gift cards (CBS 4 News donated some gift cards to the family) and some are helping make home cooked meals and taking them to the hospital. You can help donate HERE.

    In life we truly never know what will happen. Some of us live our lives healthy and content, others go through the hardest moments in life not knowing what to do. I couldn’t imagine what the Schafer family is going through and I think if we all say a prayer, if we all contribute just a little, that in a small way it will help them get through this horrible time one step at a time.

    If you want to donate click on the link above, and you can also write a message to the family either here on this link (I have informed them that I have posted a blog post about Madison on Soapnights) and or you can leave a message HERE.

    My prayers are with Madison a beautiful baby girl who doesn’t deserve to have such a horrible illness and to her family who needs to stay strong, and think positive that everything will be alright.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    PS

    Dear Schafer family,

    It breaks my heart to read a story like yours. I have posted links to this website (http://www.soapnights.com) about your daughter Madison and I will pray for her fast recovery back to a normal life. No one should have to go thorugh what you are going through, and we sometimes give up on hope when things like this happen. We turn our backs on our beliefs because we wonder why things like this happen to us. This is the time that you have to come together, keep your faith and your hopes up and think positive. My prayers are with Madison (that beautiful baby girl) and with you. Stay strong, Madison will pull through this.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

  • How much of a slave do I need to be?

    The Question:

    Long story, But I lost my good paying job in November 09. I found a minimum wage job. Trying to make my bills with what little I have, my future x husbands mother decides to have me clean her house for her on my days off. I do this for 3 weeks. She gives the money to my future x. The future x and myself still live in the same house (for now). He gave his mother the sob story that I had pissed away all our money that we had accumulated.. and partially true, but he did more so. While I refuse to tell my side of the story to his mother. Although I have proof, I will not stoop to his level. He has ruined my name in the small town in which we live. What recourse can I take? How obligated to him and his mother am I going to be for the rest of my life? Sorry I just needed to vent. Anyone have any in-site on this?

    My Response:

    Dear taken advantage of;

    Everyone has choices in life. In a marriage you choose to do things and work together or in your case get divorced (I am assuming you wrote future x because he isn’t your ex quiet yet). However, you do not have to be a slave to anyone. You were married, if you pieced away both of your funds that wasn’t right, and hopefully you learned a big lesson here. If he is part to blame then he needs to take responsibility, and if you have proof it isn’t stooping to his level if he is bringing your name down in a small town only to look like the victim. Stand up to him and his mother and figure a way out of your debt. Move out, and move on. Maybe perhaps leave this small town and move somewhere else. We all have choices in life, and you do not need to succumb to being someones “slave”. Helping clean her house for extra money is your choice, have you thought about offering your help to other people in the area, this way you aren’t only cleaning your Ex’s mom’s house and having to hear them talk about you? If cleaning houses isn’t your thing, then get up and find another job, you may have to move out of your small town to make a better living, and if this is what you have to do then do it. Again. we all have choices in life. Make a choice to stand up and stick up for yourself. If you did wrong, admit it but don’t let him take you down just because he doesn’t want to take part in your misfortunes. Stop letting them take advantage of you and do something about it.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • How should I react around my ex?

    The Question:

    I dated this guy for 8 months who is a family friend. Our parents made us meet each other. He used me to make his ex jealous and also treated me in a way so that I would dump him after his purpose of making his ex jealous gets fulfilled. I was very serious about him and was unaware of his intentions until the very end. I broke up with him 2 months ago, now I know we will bump into each other often as our parents are friends with each other and they didn’t know about whatever happened between me and him.
    I so wanna tell him I hate him so much for whatever he did to me. How can I give him this message? To be honest I am still not over him, but I don’t want him to feel that I miss him or anything.
    Now that I know I will see him often, how should I react ? Should I ignore him completely or should I behave as if nothing ever happened? Also how can I make him feel that I hate him more than anything in this world?…

    My Response:

    Dear Used;

    It is a hard position to be in and unfortunately this is why parents shouldn’t get involved in the love life of their children. Have your parents asked about your break up? I would be honest with them, talk to your mom or your dad whoever you are closest too, it’s good to let your feelings out and they should know that their friends son is an a** so that they don’t try to make you hang out with him. If it makes you feel better tell him how you feel, but after that move on. If you have to see him I wouldn’t ignore him completely that will only show that you still care and you don’t want that. Don’t try to become best friends with him either, what he did to you was wrong, and the least he can do is apologize to you. So if you do have to see each other just casually say hello and go on your way, keep yourself busy when he’s around, or ask to go to a friends house. I am not sure how old you are, that really changes things if I knew your age, but all in all, I say it doesn’t hurt to get your feelings out by telling him how you feel and letting him know what he did was wrong. Then move on, I know it hurts and you still have feelings for him but you deserve someone a lot better than someone who is only going to use you. You did right by breaking up with him.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    UPDATE:

    Yes your age does change, you are 22 not a teenager which makes it easier for you to pick up and go, there is no reason that if your parents are hanging out with their friends that you have to be around, unless it is a dinner you are invited to. If that is the case like I said be polite and say hello as if nothing is bothering you but don’t try to strike up a conversation with him. He’s around your age too I am assuming which makes this 10 times worse, he isn’t a child and he knew what he was doing was wrong. Unfortunately some men don’t know when to grow up and see something good that is right in front of them. You are still young and even though it hurts right now, you deserve a lot better. You deserve someone who will appreciate you and love you for you, not someone who is trying to play childish games. If he’s over your house, make an excuse to go out, start hanging out with your friends again and go out dancing. Start having some fun and forget about him, trust me he isn’t worth your time.

    Good luck, if you need more advice don’t hesitate to write me a comment or email me.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Juggling your life.

    In times of stress I try to sit back, take a hot bubble bath and think about what I need to do to get back on track. Or sometimes I try to think of absolutely nothing at all. 🙂

    Juggling your life…

    It isn’t easy. Life gives you ups and downs and sometimes we go sideways, but somehow with all the worries and all the stress we figure it out and we come up on top. For me I struggle with a full time job, school, and home. I work every week from 7-4pm and then in between during lunch and when I get home I have school work, and just recently I moved into my new place. So as you can imagine after a few years of absolute spoilness (okay that might not be a word, but anyhow…) I now have to do everything myself. I have to cook dinner, do laundry and cook. Yes I have a boyfriend and he’s been helping me do dishes and clean up but even with some help it’s a bit tough. Getting into the routine of things is hard. If I didn’t have school it might be a little easier, but I’m pushing myself everyday to keep going.

    For some it’s easier….

    For me, it’s hard… School as always been a struggle for me and each day, each class gets harder with more work. If you aren’t born into a family that can afford your education you have to juggle a full time job and school. You have to take student loans and books to survive. You have to take care of yourself, your job and your education, and sometimes I just feel like calling it quits! Then when my head stops stressing and I have time to actually think, I stop myself and I think about all the hard work I’ve already put into it, and I keep on going, and I keep on pushing through. No one ever told me life would be so hard, but then again no one ever told me it would be easy either.

    xo,
    kristin nicole
    ~Random Thoughts~

  • Son in law wiggled his sex package in front of me last night?

    The Question:

    My son in law said I looked depressed and horny and he thought I needed a pick me up.I am all that but he is my son in law and he wiggled his sex package in front of me last night. How can I get a guy like my son in law to do that for me otherwise?…

    My Response:

    Dear Depressed;

    I think the main concern here is the fact that your daughters son is wiggling his “package” in front of you. Do you not find this a concern for your daughter? First I would worry about the subject at hand, I think you need to be honest with your daughter and tell her that her husband is going around showing you his “package”. That is the first thing that needs to stop. Then get down to why you are feeling depressed. Feeling horny is natural for a persons body to go through, so stop being depressed, get off the couch and get out there. Start hanging out with friends and try to meet a nice guy. You definitely don’t want someone like your son in law. Would you want your boyfriend or husband showing their “package” to someone else? You need to see why you are feeling depressed and do something about it. I know it’s easier said than done. I don’t know how old you are, or why you are feeling depressed so I can’t give you more advice unless I know what you are feeling. My main point, tell your daughter about your son in law, tell him that was inappropriate and find out why you are feeling depressed. Horny??? Get a toy for now to satisfy your needs, until you can meet a good guy to do it for you.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Why do in-laws interfere in relationships?

    The Question:

    Although me and my girlfriend are not married we have a son together whose 2. We seem to always get into this situation sometimes not all the time where if my girlfriend is upset about something the mum is blaming me. An example is my girlfriend started to cry cause my son wouldn’t eat his dinner she starts crying and the mum is saying this happens cause I spoil him. Everything I tell my girlfriend she tells her mum she is Slovakian and does not speak English. She comes over a few times a year. I told her I was not interested in her opinion and what she says cause if feels at times I’m getting teamed up against me. Am I out of order? How much influence should in laws have?

    My Response:

    Dear Influenced;

    Unfortunately in-laws sometimes tend to interfere because they think they are helping more then harming the situation. You need to talk to your girlfriend, because you do not want to make a relationship that is already rocky with the in-laws worse than what they already are. Explain to your girlfriend that you feel uncomfortable and that you do not like when her mother starts blaming you for things going wrong in the house. If your mother in-law only visits a few times out of the year, try not to stress about it too much, at least she isn’t over every weekend. When she is over, try to do stuff around the house (yard work) anything to try and make space so she can be with your girlfriend alone and you don’t have to really be involved with their time together. Make time to sit with them for dinner so she see’s you are still making time to spend with her, even if she is a pain in the you know what. It’s best to get along with the in-laws, because they will be in your life for a long time. Talk to your girlfriend and tell her how you feel. Communication is key…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Tomorrow is never Promised

    Tomorrow is never Promised…..

    Thursday I woke up and I went to a funeral, a man I barely knew surrounded by the people he loved and who loved him. His daughter gave a beautiful speech about who he was, who he became, how he accomplished all the things he wanted in life, from marrying the person he loved and having 3 beautiful daughters to having the career he wanted to living a life where he mended all the regrets he may have had before he passed.

    I sit and wonder sometimes how life is passing us by so quickly. The older we get the faster it seems to go. Some people in life wait to do things in life not realizing that tomorrow is not promised. We wait to have the perfect career and enough money to support a family before having a family. We make mistakes and we don’t mend them with the people we said we loved. We hold anger and regret and we hold it inside until there is nothing left. We can not wait for a part of our lives to be perfect before making the next step into your life come alive, because if you keep waiting you may never get that chance to move forward with the people you love. If tomorrow never came did you tell the people you love that you love them? Did you mend any wrongs you made in life? Did you tell your friends how much you care? Are you where you want to be?

    Life is too shorts to worry about the what if’s and I wish but life is something we treasure anyway. We live a life to get where we want to be, but stop for a second and take a few minutes to evaluate your life, think about the things you want in your future and ask yourself, can I HAVE THIS NOW? Why not now? If it’s there and I can grab it, then why not go for it? Tomorrow is never promised, if you keep waiting it may no longer be there for you to grab. Love, Live, Laugh (right) because if tomorrow came and you never told the person you loved that you love them, how would you feel then?

    If you are reading this and you are my family, I love you. If you are reading this and you are my friends, I love you. If you are the person I want to spend my life with and you are reading this, I love you. If you are reading this and you know me but we haven’t spoken in a long time, I’m sorry. If you love me tell me, if you love me hug me, if you love me kiss me, if you love me….

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    ~Random Thoughts~

  • My wife and mom don’t get along…

    The Question:

    What can i do for dispute between my mom and my wife?

    My Response:

    Dear Son & Husband;

    If your mom and wife are constantly disputing you need to sit down separately with them and see what is causing the dispute. Your wife is your family now and I’ve come to know that when a wife and mother in law don’t get a long it’s usually because the mother in law is meddling in their business or being mean to them, not wanting to let go of their son. You need to sit down with your mom and explain to her how bickering and fighting with your wife is doing no good, and that she needs to stop and get along with her. I don’t know the full story so I don’t know why they truly don’t get along. Talk to your wife and try to find out what is bothering her and why she keeps fighting with your mom. If your wife is the one who is starting the fights tell her that she needs to either ignore your mom and just be civil when you are together (for your sake) because that is your mom and she will always be your mom. Your mother on the other hand needs to let you live your life and realize that this is your family now, and she needs to stop bickering with your wife. The only thing you can do is sit down with them and tell them how you feel and try to get to the bottom of their bickering. Family should be able to get along. I am so grateful to get along with my mother in law, and its the most wonderful thing.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com