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Category: Family

  • I need my husbands support.

    The Question:

    I need my husbands support, why isn’t he helping me? Tomorrow I am going to the hospital for an ENT appointment (ear, nose and throat specialist) I have been having the feeling of food getting stuck in my throat and tomorrow I’m getting a scope down my throat. I have moved miles away from all my family to be with my husband and he is the only person I have in my area. I am very scared, worried and nervous about tomorrow and I would like it if my husband came with me to support me, but he wont come. he said he will be going to work. In a way I’m very disappointed in him, it’s not like I’m going for a normal doctors appointment you know. What should I do?

    My Response:

    Dear ENT;

    You have to understand he is going to work, he isn’t just sitting at home while you are going to the doctors office. Also, you are just going to a doctors appointment and although it may be a little scary for you and it’s not a normal check up, I can see why you are a bit scared and would want him by your side. I know you asked him to go with you, but did you explain to him why you want him to go, maybe if he knew that you were really scared and you only wanted him to meet you there during his lunch hour or something he would consider going. If he refuses just because he doesn’t want to go, I think that is a little ‘jerkish’ on his side, considering you do not have any family there to go with you, if he does have to work, then you need to understand. You aren’t about to go into surgery for something, if you were then I would definitely say he needs to go with you. Try talking to him again and really explaining why you want him to go, and ask if maybe he can just meet you there during his lunch hour (he doesn’t need to miss a whole day of work for this). Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • California woman earns college diploma at age 94

    The amazing story of a 94 year old women, finally getting her college diploma:

    Wow I found this article on Yahoo.com, if this does not inspire a student to keep going for their dreams I do not know what will.

    Read on….

    It’s never too late to go back to college and get your college degree. I know you hear that a lot sometimes, but when you hear this story, you might just think I am right.

    The story:

    Hazel Soares is 94 years old and she was able to achieve what most of us do not or feel like we can not accomplish at our age.

    Hazel Soares was one of 500 students to get their dipoma Saturday at Mills College.

    “It’s taken me quite a long time because I’ve had a busy life,” said Soares. “I’m finally achieving it, and it makes me feel really good.” (yahoo.com)

    Hazel Soares has six children and 40 grandchildren and great grandchildren. WOW I know, that is a lot of family, and with that she is the second oldest person in the world to graduate from college. Nola Ochs of Kansas was the oldest to graduate three years ago at the age of 95 and now topped that with a master’s degree in liberal studies from Fort Hays.

    Hazel Soares said she always wanted to go to college but when she was younger the Great Depression was happening and only people who can afford college went. She never gave up on her dream though, and with all in all has managed to do just that. Dream and make it come true. Hazel Soares plans on working for the San Francisco museum after this. I say good for you Soares, GO FOR IT!

    My thoughts:

    This women amazes me in every sense of the word. Sometimes I sit and I complain that College is not for me, how hard it is, and how much sacrifice I have to make to continue working on my education. Why didn’t I finish when I was younger etc etc. You can not change time and you can not change the life you are in. If you want something go for it! Nothing in this world can stop you, if you do not let it. Hazel Soares is an inspiration to many, and I think she will continue to be an inspiration to the students that graduated with her. This just proves to so many of us that when you really put your mind to something, when you really dream about something you want, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!

    Whenever you feel like you can not do something, whenever you feel helpless or too old, think about this story and ask yourself, Is it really impossible? I think NOT!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    You can find the full story about Hazel Soares on News.Yahoo.com

  • I want to leave home, what do I do?

    The Question:

    Starting at a young age I have been abused both mentally & physically… I am 18 now with a Boyfriend who keeps telling me to wait until I graduate which isn’t until next year. I feel that if I don’t leave now I am going to end up hurting them or myself. ** I plan to marry this guy… he’s going to propose when I graduate ( he is 20)** What should I do?

    My Response:

    Dear Abused;

    First you need to seek some type of counseling, I know sometimes it is hard to talk to someone, but sometimes it is what you need to feel better. Being abused mentally and physically isn’t something any child should have to render. You are 18, what are you doing still at home with an abusive family? Get out now, and get out fast, you do not have to stand for that kind of abuse any longer. It is going to be hard to be on your own, but if your boyfriend isn’t willing to move in together than you are going to have to make a hard decision and move out on your own. Find a job first before you move out and then find an apartment and move out. If your boyfriend who is 20 years old has a job and is going to marry you like you say when you graduate from high school, then I do not see any reason why he wouldn’t just want to move in with you now, to get you out of that house. Talk to your boyfriend first and if he isn’t willing to move in with you even after you guys have talked about getting married, I would re-evaluate your relationship, because I do not understand why he would allow or want you to stay in an abusive household. Get a job, find a place and move out. You deserve better.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I just don’t know what to do anymore?

    The Question:

    About two weeks ago my husband told me that he doesn’t love me anymore, that the reason why was because I wasn’t keeping up on the house and it started eating at the love. I tried with the house but 5 kids and being pregnant it was hard, but after a few days he wanted to work this out. So we got back together. A week ago I had to deliver my baby girl at 16 weeks as a still born, so now I am going through the pain of losing my daughter. After losing her I felt like things just weren’t going to work out with my husband and I, and he kept telling me things will be okay, that he does love me and we will get through this. Well last night a week the day the doctors told me my baby was gone, he said that he can’t do this, he can’t make his self love me, that by now there should of been some feelings coming back. I told him it just doesn’t take a few weeks, but he said they won’t come back, that he just keeps lying to me and that its killing him. I’ve told him lets go talk to someone but he said no. Everyone keeps saying that their might be another woman but I looked into it and this is not the case. I just wish there was something I could do to make him love me again. I shouldn’t be going though this right now, and I know he’s hurting over the baby too but we should be helping each other out. I’ve told him that I’m his back bone and that he’s mine. I really just don’t know what to do. I love him so much. That its going to hurt not being with him…

    My Response:

    Dear Five;

    Finding out someone doesn’t love you anymore after building a life together, having children, losing one, is the second hardest thing you are going to have to go through (the first — Losing a child).

    You can not make someone love you, and having more time doesn’t make someone love you either. It’s hard and it hurts but do you really want to be with someone that doesn’t love you back, someone that doesn’t love you the way you love them? I agree that this is the time you needed to get closer to each other because of your baby, however, him having these feelings of not loving you anymore happened before this. I think he should have told you sooner before having so many children and you getting pregnant again, but men are cowards and perhaps he didn’t know how to tell you how he felt. He might have thought time would change his feelings too, but in time you only realize that if the feelings aren’t there, they aren’t coming back. Sometimes we do not understand life, and sometimes we have to go through the hardest times of our lives alone. I am sure you have family and friends, start leaning on them, because your journey has just begun. You have to be strong for your other children, respect yourself enough to let your husband go. You deserve someone that will love you the same way you love them (unconditionally), someone who won’t have to wait to love you, or think about loving, just someone who just LOVES you.
    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My sister went & got Power of Attorney behind my back…

    The Question:

    My sister went and got Power of Attorney behind my back, I am the next of kin, is there anything I can do? Mom now lives in care home/ nursing home and my sister is stopping me from taking mom out. She said she has power of attorney, dose that give her the rights to stop me?

    My Response:

    Dear Next of Kin;

    Are you and your sister not talking, not communicating about the way you feel? You need to talk to her and see why she has taken out a power of attorney on your mother, and why she feels she needs to control this situation. (I am not sure where you live and the laws everywhere are different) I am not sure exactly if she has 100% of the “power” so to speak here with this power of attorney, but if you were the next of kin, was this stated somewhere in legal forms/ a living will? If it wasn’t, you might not have a say in this, but if you were then you can definitely fight back with a lawyer. Either way, I would get a lawyer involved and see what you can do to stop her from having control. Of course take into consideration that if you do or did have a good relationship with your sister getting a lawyer to fight back may cause more issues. Of course your sister went behind your back and got a power of attorney so she really is no one to talk. Find yourself a lawyer if you can and take back control of the situation. If you don’t want to get a lawyer involved try talking to your sister, find out why she felt the need to go behind your back, instead of just talking to you and figuring things out together. If your mom is really sick this isn’t the time to push away the family you have left. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question off Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I’m prego but he’s calling me Fat

    The Question:

    How do I deal with my husband? My husband and I were not planning on having children. Although the thought sometimes sounded interesting to me, I was mostly hesitant because of some issues I have with my husband. He is always very concerned with my looks. Knowing what pregnancy does to your body, I have just kept putting the idea off. I also wanted to wait until I got some things in life that I wanted as thus far, we’ve mostly focused on my husband’s hobbies. Don’t get me wrong- he’s really great about a lot of things…my appearance, my outfits, etc. just continue to be an ongoing issue between us.
    Well, recently, I’ve been going through a pretty tough time in my life. Finding out I’m pregnant didn’t help. Instead of being able to embrace this gift, I’m having a harder time dealing with comments from him like “fatty” or “cow.” I admit to splurge on weekends but my weeks are filled with veggies, bran and yogurt, etc. I am not a fat person, the doctor said I’m at a healthy, normal weight right now. Friends, and hell even total strangers constantly tell me how great I look. Is it normal for my husband to be the only one putting me down?

    My Response:

    Dear Prego;

    This is not normal and just because you are pregnant doesn’t mean you have to take it from him. This is emotional abuse, and weather he’s saying it messing around or not it’s not making you feel good and it needs to stop. This has obviously gone on before you got pregnant and this is something you needed to take care of before having a family with your husband. It’s too late now, because you are already pregnant, but it’s not too late to stand up to your husband and tell him how you feel. You need to communicate with your husband and if he respects and loves you, he’ll love you for you no matter what, even if you gain a few pounds. Love is unconditional, there isn’t rules to being in love and being married like if you gain weight I won’t love you anymore?!? What is that??? I’m not saying your husband has said that, but what you have written is a concern as to how your husband may treat you just because you have gained a few pounds, and under the circumstances I’m thinking it’s okay to gain a few pounds. Like I said, sit down and talk to your husband and tell him how you feel, start there. If you want things to work, you need to nip this now. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • How can I help my friend who’s son ran away from home?

    The Question:

    How can i help my friend her son ran away three days ago and she thinks something bad happened? He is her baby he is 14 and ran away three days ago and the police are involved now but i am unsure how to help her and her husband i want to just really unsure. Been there almost every day supporting her it just doesn’t seem enough i guess. Advice?

    My Response:

    Dear Good Friend;

    Just being there for her during this hard time is the only thing you can do. Letting her know you are there for her is good. This isn’t something that you can just fix. Her son is obviously troubled if he ran away from home. If the police are involved I am assuming they have filed a missing person report (this is the first step into finding him). A lot of people think that just because a teenager runs away from home they can’t file a missing person report and this is their first mistake, he is still a minor and they can file a missing person report in hopes that if someone spots him the police can pick him up. Three days must feel like a decade to your friend and her family, and I couldn’t imagine the thoughts that are going through your friends head. Just keep doing what you have been doing and be there for your friend, other than that, there really isn’t much more you can do. If you want to help other than moral support, you can try posting pictures of him around the neighborhood, gather some people from the neighborhood to help. Even though he ran away from home, doesn’t mean something hasn’t happened, and doesn’t mean you can’t go about it as if he was missing or taken. I hope he comes back home soon and my prayers are with your friends family. Keep praying and don’t give up hope.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Why does my sister think she’s better than our family?


    The Question:

    I’m gonna try to give you some insight without bashing… To start my sister is about 4 yrs older, married.. A couple of years ago she and I decided to room mate about 2 months later she basically told me I needed to move out in less than a week, I stayed maybe 2 days more than she wanted me to go, so her husband (we will call him x) and his friend proceeded to bang on my window telling my boyfriend and I to get the ‘f ‘ out and this was about 12 am. This was one of many of x’s drunken raids. Another night they also called the cops saying we are not welcome but they couldn’t tell us to leave that my sis would need to evict us. Thankfully we got our own place. Time goes by I forgot this incident and tried to form some kind of relationship with my sister due to the fact that I love her kids like they were my own.

    Which leads me to the next thing, my sister had her oldest (we will call him b) while she was just a teen herself ( all the kids share the same asshole of a dad, that would be x) but she is constantly putting her oldest down. I know for a fact that he hates living with her. She uses him as her personal slave making him fold all of the laundry ( there is a total of 6 people in the family and he is only 11 but this has been going on for years) And he begs to come over just to get away from x and my sister. B has ask me many times if he could move in with me and my mom. I know this may not sound that bad but it gets worse he has no relationship with x due to more important things like getting drunk and smoking pot. I can only scratch the surface when it comes to this subject.

    Now on to the next her new thing is that his family is more family than her own flesh she is consumed by his fathers money (he is native American, we are too but we don’t get money from our tribe) she turns her back on her real family. For example we went to visit our family that we hardly see in Vegas. The first night I was there she got wasted and started to tell me I needed to find some place else to stay that night. My mom and grandma and myself were only there for one night, my sis and her family were there for almost a week, with her in laws that she knew all of 2 weeks maybe. But that same night I was told that I’m not proud of who I was “a native American”. But whatever I know where my roots are and if she was sooo Indian she would know they are not money hungry and they are about family. In the mean time she didn’t bother to go see the family that was there in town visiting.

    Now she is blaming me for some pot that went missing from her house! Because my mom watched her house and we only had access to her house. Honestly I haven’t smoked pot since high school which was about 6 years ago. No one in MY family smokes pot except for my brother but he doesn’t even live in the same house as myself. To top it off she won’t let me see her kids unless my mom asks her to let them come over. I’m not welcome in her house… But that part could be a blessing in disguise. But I guess her dog was hurt, and a few other things are missing. Not trying to make my self look good but I love my nieces and nephews too much to jeopardize my relationship with them! I feel my sister has something against me for a long time. Could someone please give me some advice? At this point I really can’t stand my sister, she is self fish and disgusting as a person.

    My Response:

    Dear stuck in the middle;

    It’s hard because you can’t stand your sister but she’s still your sister and what you really care about is being in your nephew and nieces lives. Your sister is obviously not in a happy or healthy relationship, she can be jealous that you are happy and in a healthy relationship and her way of getting back at you is constantly putting you down or not letting you stay with her, this can also not be just her decision, perhaps the husband (x) is telling her what to do. Now I don’t think it’s right and it sounds to me like she needs to grow up, stop smoking weed, take care of her children and move on from that a**hole, BUT it’s unlikely she’ll do just that if she’s still with the guy. If you really want a relationship with your nephews and nieces you need to talk to her, try to talk to her when her husband isn’t around, and just explain to her that you don’t want to argue anymore and that you love her, (even if half of it is BS) JUST DO IT, so you can get on her good side to see your nephew and nieces. How old are they? I know you said the oldest one (b) likes to go to your house, the good thing is he’s old enough to ask to go to your house, which is good, but I am assuming the others are still too little to do just that. Just hang in there, try to go to your mom’s as much as possible when she has them and just remind them how much you love them (I think you said you live with your mom, so have your mom ask for them more often). There isn’t much you can do if your sister refuses for you to see them, so be the better person and suck it up, just so you can see them. This doesn’t mean you have to play nice with her all the time and pretend to like her, you just need to be civil when you see her and nice enough to just see your nephew and nieces. As for her liking his family more than her own, she will see what family is when one day, when she may be left with nothing and you guys are the only ones there to pick up the pieces, hopefully this won’t be the case but unfortunately some people aren’t strong enough to make their own paths. If she is kicking you out of her home more than once, don’t go there anymore, see your family only when it’s either at your house or your moms. Being proud of your heritage is very important no one should be ashamed of who they are or where they came from, so don’t worry about what your sister is feeling and just know what you feel inside your heart is right. This is a hard position to be in, so try to contain yourself from telling your sister off, I know it might be hard but just keep thinking of the precious faces of your nephew and nieces. As to your title question, I don’t think that your sister thinks she’s better than anyone in your family I just think your sister isn’t in a good relationship, and she is choosing his family over her own, which is not only selfish and stupid but moronic. Sounds to me like she has a pretty good sister and if she can’t see that, it’s her loss! Good luck!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • How to ask my fiance’s stepmom to back off?

    The Question:

    She has taken over planning our couple’s shower for our wedding. She has invited my mother (by Facebook message) and my fiance’s mother (by letter) to be involved, however she has themes and games and a bunch of BS planned without getting my mom or his mom’s input. HOW do I deal with her? She’s a complete control freak and I’ve about had enough. She won’t even let ME have a say in our party!
    Additional Details – I should also add:
    When she wrote the Facebook message to my mom and letter to my fiance’s mom she told them EXACTLY what the shower was going to be, what date etc without asking for their input. She didn’t give them a chance to give input…she just told them..this is it. As far as having input, I should say I wanted input in regard to location (my family is 6+hrs away as is my mom and his family is 1/2 here 1/2 12+ hrs away). The idea of the couples shower/party was so we could all be involved and have it be very relaxed.
    Who is paying for it? The initial idea was for our parents to all split it, but we haven’t been allowed to be apart of any of this (Oh and I didn’t get to pick the date, She did it without consulting either of our mothers).

    My response:

    Dear bride;

    This is a hard position to be in, but this is something definitely you need to do with your fiance. He’s also involved in this, (it’s his family) and she needs to know that the two of you care for her dearly, but this is your wedding shower, and you would like for your mom and his mom to also be involved. If she wants to help that’s fine, but it is your shower, and there are certain things you want and don’t want. If she still doesn’t understand then you have to make the choice of letting it go and letting her run your shower or laying down the rules and being a complete bi***. Unfortunately sometimes we need to be tough for people to get the point. She seems like the controlling type so if you want your shower to be what you want it to be then be honest with her and tell her how it is. Don’t be shy, things like this can’t be held in, it’s part of your big day, and it should be as you see fit. She can’t pick a date without asking you, that is when you really needed to lay down the rules. Explain to her that you need to know what is what, and you would like to plan it yourself. Things like this would make me so upset, and there is no way I would let someone Facebook my mother or mother in law, that’s just ridiculous. Be firm and let her know who’s boss.
    Good luck keep me updated

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

    April 1, 2010

  • I thought I married a man and not a child?

    The Question:

    Why can’t men clean themselves better?
    I swear when I do the laundry it’s like I have 4 little boys, I have three boys ages 4-6-9 and my husband and they all leave skid marks.
    How does my husband expect me to be sexually attractive to him after seeing stains each laundry?

    My response:

    Dear mother of 4;

    Okay first I have to just say it…. EWWEEE! Second, tell your husband as bluntly as possible that he isn’t 4, 6 or 9 and to learn how to clean his ass better. I mean if he needs to carry around wipes then just do it, but PLEASE, oh PLEASE learn how to clean your ass like a grown man! Explain to him how you feel, exactly what you wrote here “How do you expect me to be sexually attractive to you after seeing stains in your underpants”? Ask him if he would like to see stains on your underpants? I’m sure that might be an eye opener for him. Unfortunately men never grow up, and you have 3 little boys plus a husband who, well lets face it, isn’t going to change, but this is just something you have to start teaching your boys now so that they don’t turn out like their father (in this department, that is). Good luck, and be blunt with your husband, and if he can’t learn to wipe his ass correctly, you can tell him to wash his own underwear from now on.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com