The Question: Confiding in husbands friend, is it okay to confide in him?
I feel like I can talk to him better than my husband. When I try to talk to my hubby [sic] he just doesn’t listen. His friend listens to me and tells me his opinion on things, and no he is not trying to get me in his bed. This guy is not like that. What is your opinions on this subject?
My Response:
Dear confidant;
It’s a tough call, the guy is your husbands friend so it may be a little awkward for your husband if he knows that you are going to his friend for advice. You really should be able to talk to your husband, he should be your confidant (your best friend, go to guy) and if he can’t sit down and talk to you, then you need to make sure to get his attention and tell him how you feel. Explain to him that you want to talk to him and you feel like he doesn’t listen. If he still doesn’t listen then it’s his own fault for pushing you towards his friend, I just hope what you are saying is true and that this friend isn’t “that type of guy”, unfortunately as a women we believe that, and we truly think these guys are only our friends, but unfortunately guys think way differently than we do and sometimes emotions may change, so be careful. I also hope that you truly just see it as a friendship and nothing more. Remember you are married, if you really love your husband talk to him, and try to make him understand what you are feeling. Good Luck.
Advice Column. Ask Kristin Nicole. Image found on google.com/images
The Question:
I’m 27 weeks pregnant, living with my boyfriend. He hasn’t done really anything through my pregnancy, so far (like getting a job). His plans were to stop smoking weed this summer and join the navy, because the benefits are good! He’ll get health and dental insurance and they’ll pay his way through college, and our son will get those health benefits, as well. That’s what was most important to me, because I’ll be going off to college within the next year and it’s going to be so hard for me to pay for hospital bills/medication (if something should happen to me or our son) while going to school. Those benefits for the baby would have eased a lot of stress. But NOW, he’s wanting just to go to college. I asked why he changed his mind and he said because he doesn’t want to stop smoking weed. I support any decision he makes to further his education, because that’s better than nothing, but I think that’s selfish on his part. I had to exchange my career dreams for a career that I’m not completely interested in, but can support our family, but he can’t put down the pot? It’s not only that, but he’s trying to go to college in COLORADO. We live in Texas and the thought of him being so far away from us tears me apart.
Question is: Should I support his dreams fully and be positive that everything will turn out okay? OR Is this really something to talk/argue about with him?
My response:
Dear going to be a mom;
You are pregnant and you are about to start a family. Just because you are pregnant doesn’t mean you need to marry the father of your baby, especially if the relationship isn’t so good. The Navy is a big commitment, I wouldn’t push him into going into the Navy just because it has good benefits and health plans, entering into any Government force is a big commitment and in the Navy you would barely see your husband either because they go out to sea a lot of the times, however if it is something he does like and was considering then I do believe he needs to wake up and grow up and realize that he’s having a baby soon. If his plans are to go to college in another state why isn’t he inviting you to go with him? You don’t leave your family behind for college, you take them with you. I’m sorry but it seems to me like he is trying to run away from his responsibilities, and he needs to grow up and realize that he’s going to be a Dad soon, if he wasn’t ready to give up smoking weed to get a job and support his family then he should had thought about all that before getting you pregnant. You have to confront him, this isn’t something you just let go, Don’t push him into the Navy, but he definitely needs to get a Job and he needs to stay close to his family, if he doesn’t want that then you need to make a choice, you need to decide if this is the life you want, is this the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? If the college in Colorado is really what he wants, don’t stop him from going, but there are ways to still be together, you can move over there with him and be a family. As for the weed, he definitely needs to just give that up! However, with all that said, just because he’s the father doesn’t mean you have to stay with him. As for you going to college, don’t give up what you wanted to study, there are many plans the government can help you with especially for a single mother going to school, many grants and other things. Look into it, but don’t give up. You got yourself in this position so now you also have to grow up and take responsibility, don’t rely on a man to get you where you want to be. I hope it works out for you because it’s nice to have that perfect little family (but sometimes it doesn’t always work that way) so if it doesn’t work out that way, you need to be strong for your child, move on, get a job and continue school. But definitely TALK ABOUT IT!
Advice Column: I told him I wanted to have sex but… Photo found on flickr.com
The Question: I told him I wanted to have sex but I’m not sure that I’m ready.
What should I do? We started dating but we aren’t official yet. We sext [sic] and stuff but I told him I would have sex with him this weekend, but I kind of don’t want to because I want us to be something before we take that next step. What should I do? I’m scared he might get pissed off. I’m a virgin by the way and he isn’t; what do I do?
(EDITED)
My Response:
Dear Virgin;
You should definitely be honest with him, especially if you are a virgin. If he really likes you and respects you then he will understand. Sure has a guy he wants to have sex, and he may be a bit disappointed but that’s okay. What is more important is that you don’t just go running into someones bed when you aren’t 100% ready for it. Losing your virginity is important, don’t rush into things. Even if you make things official, wait a little, make sure you guys are ready for that next step. Does he know you are a virgin? If he doesn’t, you should be honest with him. You don’t want to start a relationship where you are hiding things. Remember to always respect yourself and never do anything you aren’t ready for.
Advice Column: My friend is a virgin but wants to have sex. Image found on flickr.com
Advice Column: Virgin vs friends with benefits… My friend is a virgin but wants to have sex with me. Like… friends with benefits. What should I do?
One of my friends is coming over to my place soon and she’s wanting to have sex (amongst hanging out and so on.) I was okay with this and passingly asked how many guys she’s slept with. She replied that other than oral/hands she’s a virgin. Now, I’ve never slept with a virgin before. I know you have to treat her gently as if you were doing brain surgery on the President. I know what to do in order for it to be less painful, but how do I make it an awesome experience for her? I mean you never forget your first time, so I want her to remember it in a positive (insert HIV joke here) manner. She and I aren’t looking for a relationship. Just buddies who have sex every now and then. How can I make it more special without sounding like I’m trying to be romantic after we agreed no romance? I appreciate the help.
My Response:
There is a very fine line that you are playing with in taking a girls virginity. She may say she doesn’t want anything now, but she has never been intimate with someone, so she doesn’t really know what feelings comes with that. I honestly wouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t ruin your friendship on just wanting to have a friend with benefits, especially if she is a virgin. She should want it to be special with someone she really loves and not just to get it over with. It’s nice of you to want to make it special for her, but the best thing you can probably do for her, is let her down gently and tell her to find someone she really loves to have sex with for the first time.
Advice Column: He deleted me from social media. Photo from flickr.com
Advice Column: He deleted me from social media, should I try contacting him?
Basically I didn’t reply to a few of this guys texts and calls so he blocked and deleted me. I am quiet and I realized I didn’t really like him. What shall I do? He has blocked me, so it seems if I try contacting him I will look pathetic, what should I do?
My Response:
If you realized that you didn’t really like him, then it really shouldn’t bother you that he blocked you or deleted you from any social media sites. If you wanted to just stay friends with him and it bothers you that much, then try contacting him and apologize for your actions. Explain to him you were confused and that you are sorry how you handled things, but that you would like to stay friends. Good luck.
Advice Column: We are both girls and I like my best friend. Image found on flickr.com
Advice Column: We are both girls and I like my best friend. Should I tell her how I feel?
I know I like her, but I don’t know how to tell her. Please help.
My Response:
Dear Gay Friend;
There are many things that can happen with this situation. It depends if your friend likes girls. Is she gay? If she isn’t then this can be an awkward conversation and you can take the chance of losing your best friend.
If she is gay, you are still taking the chance of losing a friend. You want to really make sure this is what you want, before you do it. If your friend doesn’t know you are gay, then this may be something you want to start off with. Think about it before you go through with it, because sometimes a friendship is way more important than trying to date a friend.
Advice Column: I caught my friend masturbating. Image found on flickr.com
Advice Column: I caught my friend masturbating, what should I do?
We are both 15 year old girls and we don’t live together and we do not have relationship, besides friends; whatsoever at all. So we were both sleeping next to each other like usual cause I had invited her over for a sleep over. I fell asleep and woke up to the sound of her shaking and other embarrassing noises. It was only obvious what she was doing. In a panic, I pretended to be asleep until she was finished. Then she fell asleep. Now I’m writing this completely oblivious as to what to do and why would she do that in someone else’s house, and right next to her friend? Please help and thank you.
My Response:
Dear Friend;
There really isn’t an answer I can give you. It is a bit strange that she masturbating right next to you, and I can see how this can be very weird for you. Maybe she get’s turned on with the fact that someone is so close to her. Her hormones can be going a hundred miles an hour and who knows what she is really thinking. But these are questions that only she can answer. This can be a very awkward question to ask a friend, but if she didn’t want to be embarrassed then she probably shouldn’t have been masturbating right next you. There are only two things you can do, ask her straight up. Tell her you woke up and heard her, and you hadn’t said anything because you really just didn’t know what to do. See what she tells you and go on from there. Or you can simply ignore this happened. I wouldn’t sleep next to her on the next sleep over though, if you plan on just ignoring this.
Advice Column: I like my brother’s best friend. Image found on flickr.com
Advice Column: I like my brother’s best friend. We flirt sometimes, but I don’t know if he really likes me, what should I do?
My friends brother is a year older than me and I started being interested in him. I started hanging out with his friends a lot more often and I see him a lot. He always smiles at me and teases me and will flirt with me. And tonight his friend stole my phone and to his friend [sic] I was like “omg I’m gonna kill you!” And then my crush was like “not until I kill you first” and he said it really sexually and was really close to me. I really like him. I don’t know if he likes me because when we were playing truth or dare, my friend asked him if he liked me and he said “Yeah sure.. I like a lot of people” and I was like what…? Does he like me, please help?
(Edited)
My Response:
Dear Brother’s Sister;
Going after your brother’s best friend can have consequences. You can ruin your brothers friendship if something were to happen, your brother may not approve or it can work out all for the best. If you really like him and you are sure he’s been flirting back, then just ask him. But make sure you are ready for either answer. He may just be nice to you, and like you as his best friend’s sister. So be prepared if it’s not the answer you really want.
Advice Column: I feel empty after having sex with an ex. Image found on flickr.com
The Question: I feel empty after having sex with an ex girlfriend. Why do I feel like this?
Ok so here’s the deal, I’m 19 and I just got out of this really intimate relationship with a girl about 2 months ago and I have been feeling like garbage ever since. Well about a week ago my very first girlfriend from 3 years ago (stupid high school relationship) came back into my life and we started chatting and hitting it off really well. Well one night as I was driving her home we shared a moment of weakness; I guess and had a goodnight kiss [sic]. A few days later we both agreed that it was inappropriate and we should just stay friends.
So a few days later we hang out at my house and watch a movie, and one thing leads to another, and we have sex. Now before we had sex, we agreed that it was going to just be a hook up with no feelings, and I’m fine with that. What guy wouldn’t right? But now its like 3 days later and I just don’t feel right for some reason, and I don’t know why. I’m not mad or sad but I’m not happy or content. I just feel blah. Anyone want to help explain why I feel this way? And why I can’t just brush it off and move on? We are still friends as far as I know, but should I talk to her about it or just let it go?
(Edited)
My Response:
Dear Sex with an Ex;
Sounds to me like you have feelings for this girl, and you just haven’t admitted it to yourself. If you truly don’t have feelings then maybe you just feel bad because you like the friendship. There is obviously a physical attraction on both ends. Is there a reason you two don’t want to try dating again. People grow and change from high school, so just because it didn’t work back then doesn’t mean it won’t work now. If it’s really bothering you, I would just talk to her, if she’s your friend there is nothing wrong with expressing how you feel. You also just got out of a serious relationship, so this can be confusing to you. Everyone moves on at their own pace, just because it’s only been 2 months, it doesn’t mean you can’t have feelings for someone else. Especially someone you already know and dated in the past. Truly be honest with yourself and the situation. If you feel bad, then maybe it’s best you guys don’t let things get to that level again. Good luck.
Advice Column: Would it be staking if I text my Ex? Image found on flickr.com
The Question: Would it be stalking if I text my ex?
My ex boyfriend and I broke up yesterday, and he wants to be friends. He still calls me baby girl. If I text him, would I be stalking him?
My Response:
Dear Ex;
Texting an ex does not make you a stalker. If you start following him around, and becoming obsessed then yes, you would be a stalker. But you just broke up yesterday, why would you want to text him anyway? He told you he wanted to be friends with you and he’s still calling you baby girl, so it’s clearly okay to text him as a friend, but this is a decision you have to make. Sometimes being friends with an ex isn’t easy. I am not saying it’s impossible, but sometimes it’s better to take a break from that person to be able to move on. He’s an ex for a reason.
