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Category: Friendship

  • My bestfriend slept with my husband…

    The Question:

    I’m divorced, my husband cheated on me with my best friend. I just confronted her right now….!! Please tell me whether I did the right thing or not. The ex best friend and I met outside a high street shop, I had a bag full of all the things she had ever given me and as soon as I saw her, I threw them on the floor and chucked them in the trash. Then she tried to walk away, I grabbed her arm, gave her a piece of my mind and threw our childhood photographs in her face and said, “Some f****** friend you are”. She was taken aback, slapped me and then I pushed her against the wall, called her a ***** and left her picking the photographs up. I walked away and when I looked back she was on the phone with – my EX husband (who she is currently living with). Did I do the right thing or not, I was SO hurt and angry.

    My response:

    Dear Hurt & Angry;

    Let me start with WOW! Do you have kids with your ex husband? How long ago was this if she is already living with your ex husband and you are already divorced. I can’t believe it’s taken you this long to confront her. I say you did what you felt you needed to do, there is no wrong in you confronting her about her friendship or her sleeping with your husband at the time. She was definitely NOT a friend! What you did was actually very calm, she actually had no right to slap you, she is the one who cheated with your husband, and not only is she a cheater she cheated with her so called best friends husband, and now is living with him. Am I getting all this right?!? What kind of person does this??? Definitely not a GOOD Person! If I was you, I would have probably just dumped all the stuff we had together in the trash a long time ago, and I would have definitely confronted her sooner, I would have told her how I felt, how disgusting she is to do such a thing, and if she laid one hand on me, I would have probably done more then just push her down the way you did. So don’t for one second feel bad about doing what you did, or confronting her. She betrayed your friendship and your trust in one of the most worst ways possible. You deserve a better friend and a whole of a lot better MAN! Good for you for moving on and you have every right to be hurt and angry. Now that you have confronted her, try to move on and forget about them, I know its easier said than done, but you deserve better people in your life. Those two deserve each other, and always remember KARMA! What goes around comes around. Those two will get it one way or the other.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

    Know someone who needs advice or want to tell me how you feel on this subject leave me a comment or email me at soapnights@gmail.com
    xoxo

  • How do I get out of the “FRIEND ZONE”?!?

    The letter

    Dear Kristin Nicole,

    I discovered this blog because I’ve been exploring ways to become more confident with dating. Not too long ago I got dumped by my girlfriend and I’m a bit nervous about returning to the whole “singles scene”. Unfortunately my “skills” with flirting are out of practice, to say the least! Also, can your readers send in topics they want to personally ask you about? Right now I have a specific question on this subject because I am going through a frustrating situation with a girl I like and I’m just not sure how to move forward. I guess you could say I’m stuck in the “friend zone.” I’d really like to ask for your advice…or maybe someone can recommend a book that I ought to read? I would really like to get some advice on how to stay out of the friend zone with girls I like.

    Please help,
    Friends Zone

    My Response:

    Dear Friends Zone,

    I know it’s hard to be dumped by your girlfriend but you have to move on from that, don’t let that interfere with your confidence. If you like this new girl and you want to get out of the “friend zone” then tell her how you feel. Ask her out on a date, the worst thing that could happen is that she says no, but at least you are finally back in the “single scene”. Use this has practice, and don’t stress too much on your flirting skills, just let it come to you naturally, if she’s flirting back with you it’s more then likely she likes you too, and she’s just waiting for you to finally ask her out.

    If any readers have specific questions and want my advice they are more then welcome to leave a comment or even better for privacy they can email me at soapnights@gmail.com

    I don’t know of any books that are good on how to stay out of the ‘friends zone’ but if any readers know of any please feel free to leave any books you think would help on this subject.

    Remember confidence is always the key to any situation, when you know and feel you own the situation you will, and after that it will only come naturally to you.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Feeling Alone in the World.

    Feeling Alone in the World.

    Ever feel like you just really didn’t belong;
    Like something is different inside you than most?
    Ever feel lost and completely alone?

    You aren’t the only one, you are not the only one who has felt like this and I guarantee that more than 90% of people (statistics made by my opinion – not true statistics), feel this way at least once in their life time, and if you are that other 10% that has never felt this way (I take my hat off to you) and I would love to know your secret to always feeling secure and as if you truly belong, I would love to share your story with those of us who aren’t so lucky to feel that way. (It can be a true inspiration to know how strong some people are and how secure they are with themselves and the world around them).

    Those of us who know what it feels like to feel different, to feel like you just don’t belong knows about the tears and the confusion you feel inside. Do I belong here or there or anywhere? Sometimes in life we just settle, we decide to give in to give up on trying to fit in and feel accepted, and although we have love from family and friends there is always that little piece of hope that maybe one day that feeling of emptiness will just disappear.

    In life comes the ups and the downs and sometimes we just sit back and look at what has happened through out our lives, we look at it as if it was an open book, reading page by page and wondering what will happen when I get to the end of this book? I try not to regret things in life, because you can never turn back time, you can never change the things that have happened and you can never change what was supposed to happen so why regret it, but sometimes I cannot help but wonder if I hadn’t made those mistakes, if I would have just kept moving forward, if my mind thought differently when I was 19 like I do now, or even if those decisions you know you made would have changed your course in life, would it be a better route, or would I have ended up in the same place I see myself now? Decisions that you want to make sometimes are changed by families influence and thoughts of what you would do if they weren’t near, or what they would think or say if you decided to do what you truly wanted to do. Sometimes in life we have other things holding us back, school, jobs, partners, family or friends and at the end of the day we choose what we think will make most people happy, we choose not for ourselves but for others. At the end of the day we need to start choosing for ourselves, we need to see if those who love us will encourage us, if those who love us will comfort us and support us because at the end of the day as time keep moving forward, I have realized more than ever how short life really is, how living in the NOW is so important than living in what can be, or maybe one day, or perhaps in the future…because doing what we really want to do now is our chance to see if what we really want is right in front of us.

    No one is stopping us from feeling accepted, no one is stopping us from being happy and finding love and moving on to bigger and better things, we use our family and friends as excuses but the only one person stopping you from doing what you truly want to do is YOU. Make a change in your life today to choose something that will make you happy. Start with something small, like your family doesn’t like for you to eat chocolate, take a small piece of chocolate and savor it. Start small and move up from there, but remember life is too short to keep waiting, if you love someone tell them, don’t keep waiting and putting off something just because you feel you aren’t completely ready, go for the goal, the light at the end of the tunnel, do what you want for you and live life to the fullest, because at the end of the day we all die, at the end of the day tomorrow is never promised….Live, Love, Laugh…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Losing the people we love…

    Life’s struggles:

    In life we lose the people we love, sometimes something as simple as a breakup and other times something called forever. We live our lives not realizing that tomorrow is not guaranteed and we take advantage of the people we love. Sometimes we don’t even get the chance to tell them we love them because we had a petty argument. This week I’ve seen a bosses dad pass away, a friends mom and the faith they hold inside, that things really do happen for a reason.

    In the end…

    It’s inevitable to avoid the fact that one day we are going to lose someone we love. Whether it’s our grandparents, our parents, our spouse, and some people lose people they never thought possible, their children. We don’t know why things happen and we don’t know why we have to lose the people we love and go through that pain, but it’s a pain that no one can truly explain, even though at one point in our lives we have all felt it or we are going to feel it one day. Life doesn’t teach us how to deal with losing someone we love, it doesn’t teach us how to cope or how to keep living our lives without them, we just do.

    The day comes…

    The day comes when we have to feel that pain, we have to cry and we have to grieve and we have to keep living without the people we love. This is why it’s so important to not take advantage of the people you love, make sure to tell them you love them and make sure that no matter what happens you are there. For that one split second in time when your life stops, when your heart stops, we grieve for the person we lost, and we hold that sadness inside of us in which we hope will only make us stronger and we continue to live our daily lives without them, because the world doesn’t stop for us, the world doesn’t let us cry on it’s shoulder and it doesn’t let us understand why things happen for a reason. Sometimes we ask why? but there never seems to be an answer, and we keep moving forward. Life stops for no one, so don’t stop living, don’t stop believing and don’t stop telling the people you love that you love them, because at the end of the day, the world keeps moving forward, we keep moving forward.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Found out husband of nearly 20 years cheated on me when we were dating?

    The Question:

    I’ve been married for nearly 20 years and I just found out that my husband cheated on me when we were dating with one of my friends for a short while. He says this was the only time he has been unfaithful and that he regrets it and he wishes it never happened. He sounds deeply sorry but I have no idea what to do. I am completely devastated and heartbroken but he is the love of my life and we have 4 children together.

    My Response:

    Dear 20 years;

    This isn’t something you are going to get over in one night, just because it happened 20 years ago. However, with that said, you should move on, you have to trust that your husband has been faithful to you for this long, especially if you have had no doubt otherwise. Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel, don’t hold your feelings inside and work things out. As for your friend, is this still your friend? I don’t know how I would feel about a “friend” not telling me about what actually happened, and holding this secret from me for so many years. Lies always seem to come out, one way or the other. I am not saying you should forgive and forget your husbands infidelity just like that, but if he’s been a good husband and father for the past 20 years then you should find a way to forgive him. Find a way to trust him again and keep that love that has kept you together for the past 20 years alive. It’s normal to feel the way you are feeling, don’t feel bad about how you are feeling and talk through your feelings.

    Good Luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Be strong ~ Inspired by Madison Schafer

    Be Strong

    When you feel like your world is falling apart
    have faith and stand strong.
    When you feel like it’s the end of the world
    remember that there are people out there who are suffering more than you are right now.
    If you are the one suffering and you don’t know what to do
    remember to pray
    remember to not hate what you can not control
    remember that we all need love in our hearts to move forward
    because if we give in to the hate,
    if we give in to the sadness
    we are only admitting defeat.
    Stand strong
    Be strong
    Life is a journey
    we all take the bad with the good
    and we all wonder at one point in our lives
    “why is this happening to me”?

    Let love enter your heart
    with love, the world has no end
    with love we know no limits
    with love we have support of the ones we care for
    with love we smile
    with love we cry
    with love we know no boundaries
    and yet we keep loving
    we keep living
    and we keep having the faith that in the end Everything will be alright.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    My thoughts:

    I have been thinking recently about how we all complain about things we aren’t happy about in life. Only you can change the actions that cause your life events and only you can change fate. My last two posts have been about this little girl who is only 20 months old fighting for her life due to a tumor in her brain that is cancerous. Her family I can only imagine is in shambles, wondering what is going to happen, not knowing if tomorrow will come and looking into the beautiful eyes of that baby girl (Madison Schafer). I think about how we complain about things in life, but if you stop just for one second to realize all the beautiful things you have in life you might realize that the bad stuff happening right now is actually not so bad. Realize that there are people out there like the Schafer family who is struggling way more than some people can ever imagine. Have faith and pray and remember that miracles do happen, positive thinking really does change outcomes and in the end remember the people you love, love them back because tomorrow is never promised. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, and we take so many things for granted, we take life for granted. Pray like there is no tomorrow, love like you have never loved before, and live life to your fullest. ~Live, Love, Laugh~

    © ~written by: kristin nicole – 09.16.10 @7:35 am ~

    Today the Schafer family will learn about Madison’s condition and they will see what treatments they will need to give Madison for her recovery. My prayers are with them all.

  • Should I dump my Boyfriend?

    The Question:

    Okay, so last night I said my friend was so pretty and that she has an amazing body. My boyfriend admitted to me that he was a little interested but he liked me better… I still don’t feel good that he even admitted that to me. Should I dump him? Help!

    My Response:

    Dear confused;

    It isn’t necessarily a reason to dump him, but what exactly did he say to you? Did he just agree with you that your friend is pretty and has an amazing body or did he actually say he was a little interested in her but liked you better? Either way I can see why this hurt, and what he said to you was insensitive. Unfortunately a lot of guys don’t think before they speak, and sometimes they think it’s okay to tell us that they think another girl is hot, not realizing it may hurt our feelings or make us feel a little insecure. If you feel that he might try cheating on you or that he isn’t that into you, then move on. There are many other guys out there that I am sure would love to date you. You deserve someone who is into you and you alone!

    Good luck

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Tomorrow is never Promised

    Tomorrow is never Promised…..

    Thursday I woke up and I went to a funeral, a man I barely knew surrounded by the people he loved and who loved him. His daughter gave a beautiful speech about who he was, who he became, how he accomplished all the things he wanted in life, from marrying the person he loved and having 3 beautiful daughters to having the career he wanted to living a life where he mended all the regrets he may have had before he passed.

    I sit and wonder sometimes how life is passing us by so quickly. The older we get the faster it seems to go. Some people in life wait to do things in life not realizing that tomorrow is not promised. We wait to have the perfect career and enough money to support a family before having a family. We make mistakes and we don’t mend them with the people we said we loved. We hold anger and regret and we hold it inside until there is nothing left. We can not wait for a part of our lives to be perfect before making the next step into your life come alive, because if you keep waiting you may never get that chance to move forward with the people you love. If tomorrow never came did you tell the people you love that you love them? Did you mend any wrongs you made in life? Did you tell your friends how much you care? Are you where you want to be?

    Life is too shorts to worry about the what if’s and I wish but life is something we treasure anyway. We live a life to get where we want to be, but stop for a second and take a few minutes to evaluate your life, think about the things you want in your future and ask yourself, can I HAVE THIS NOW? Why not now? If it’s there and I can grab it, then why not go for it? Tomorrow is never promised, if you keep waiting it may no longer be there for you to grab. Love, Live, Laugh (right) because if tomorrow came and you never told the person you loved that you love them, how would you feel then?

    If you are reading this and you are my family, I love you. If you are reading this and you are my friends, I love you. If you are the person I want to spend my life with and you are reading this, I love you. If you are reading this and you know me but we haven’t spoken in a long time, I’m sorry. If you love me tell me, if you love me hug me, if you love me kiss me, if you love me….

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    ~Random Thoughts~

  • What would you do if you were in love with your friend’s girlfriend?

    The-Question:

    My friend and his girlfriend have been together for 11 months and are happy and in love but I think I’m in love with her. I’d never do anything about it and even when they broke up I wouldn’t as she’d be his ex but I can’t stop thinking about her. What would you do?

    My response:

    Dear ‘friend’;

    I don’t think you are in love, I think you are infatuated with the idea of love. You see your friend happy with another girl, a girl that is easy to get along with because you like her as a friend, pretty, interesting and it’s easy to get all these mixed feelings. If you are a true friend and they are happy then leave it alone, try finding yourself another girl to date (there are plenty other girls out there other then your friends girlfriend), never go for the friends girlfriend, unless you want to risk loosing your friendship. If they break up and time has passed you can always ask your friend if he’d mind you dating her but even if he said yes things may be awkward and the girl might not feel the same way about you. You will still be risking your friendship. Some guys don’t mind if a friend dates an ex girlfriend, or at least that’s what they say to your face, but put yourself in his shoes, would you want him dating one of your ex-girlfriends? I’m not sure why you are even thinking about “if” they broke up if you say they have been together for 11 months and in love. I say just keep moving, don’t stop, and find another girl, NEVER go for your friends girl unless you don’t care about your friendship.

    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    Found on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • This is it… This is Life…

    Random Thoughts:

    Sometimes in life, life brings you unexpected news, or events in life that you never thought would happen. I sometimes wonder why things happen and I try to see that each event is only a lesson to be learned, but when that lesson involves someone dieing, what is the lesson in that? Perhaps it is not a lesson but a journey we have to go through to live and learn from. I rather not live through these times, I rather not know what it is to lose someone and I rather just forget what it felt like to love them. Wouldn’t it be so much easier if the pain we felt just disappeared with any memories of that person or pet or loved one? “Missing someone or something is sadness”. (kristin nicole)

    Each time you lose someone you almost lose a piece of yourself. If I were to count all the pieces I’ve lost, what’s left? Each time a sad moment pops up into your mind try to distract yourself, try to think of something positive something that makes you happy. As a human we tend to have more negative thoughts than positive ones, because it is easier for us to see ourselves fail than to see ourselves actually succeed. Why is that? Why do we think so negatively and why do we lose faith in life?

    Once upon a time, I lost faith, I lost hope, I lost love and I lost myself. Growing up I can not say I didn’t feel love, I can not say that I didn’t have love, family, or friends, but I can say that at one point in my life when things got hard I lost myself, and when I lost myself I lost faith and hope. I almost forgot what it was to be happy, to feel true love. When life gives you hardship, there is always a way out, there is always hope and there is always something out there better for you, you just have to believe. I believed that this was it, that what I felt was all there was, then for that one second I stood in my room and I closed my eyes, tears fell, and I realized that this can’t be it. If this was it, then why am I here, there has to be more than just ‘THIS’? There is always more, I have talked to people who have gone through worse things than I have, and I have read stories about people who have struggled all their lives, and that’s when you have to sit back for a moment and realize that maybe, just maybe the life you are living isn’t that bad.

    I have lost, I have gained, I have laughed and I have cried, but with all that, I have lived.

    Each part of me that you know is a part of me that loves, a part of me that wants only better, the part of me that has changed has been from life, and each of us has changed and grown from our experiences. You may not look at it the same way I do, but I promise you that there will always be at least one moment in your life that you will always remember, that one moment in life that you stop and say “THIS IS IT”….

    xo
    kristin nicole