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Category: Advice

Need Advice? I’m here to help in anyway I can…. Ask me anything and I’ll tell you what I think…

  • Everything Happens for a Reason.

    Everything happens for a Reason….

    Sometimes we don’t understand that the things that are happening to us in the moment are reasons we will one day hope to understand. Sometimes we fight for something that just isn’t meant to be. I used to believe in fairy-tales and happily ever afters but after a while you stop believing. You start to wonder if any of it is even true, and if it’s even possible.

    I pictured my life a certain way and when god had other plans I realized that I can’t control fate or life, I can only try to control how I feel about it and I can only control what I will do next to make it better.

    In life I have come to learn a lot at my age. I have gone through more than most and yet so little compared to others. You can never compare what you have gone through in life to what someone else has gone through, because although you may think that what you have gone through wasn’t easy, and I’m sure it wasn’t, what the other person may have gone through could have been worse or just simply another situation that was just as hard. I couldn’t imagine going through the things that I know some have gone through, and I don’t judge but I look at them with honor, and grace in knowing how strong some people can be, how strong some can overcome the odds and become good people.

    There are still things that happen that I have no explanation for, and sometimes I just want to help those who won’t let me in. I feel bad and I feel like I’m pushed against a wall with no where to turn. If that person knew how much I loved them and cared for them they would know that at any time they could come to me, and at any time I would always be there for them. Although I was just like this person I knew when it was time to need someone. I always had my mom that I could count on. Sometimes we need to put our pride away and open up to the people around us that love us and care for us, because in the end they are the ones that will always be there for us.

    Everything happens for a reason, and although I don’t have the answers, one day you we’ll see and understand why it happened. I used to believe in fairy-tales and happily ever afters and although I gave up on that, I still have hope inside that one day I will have my fairy-tale, and one day I will have my happily ever after, because everything happens for a reason.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • My husband cheated several times and I keep taking him back!!?

    The Question:

    I found out he said he wanted to leave me for her and did, he said it was because I was neglecting him. I travel around a lot for work plus my family never really approved of him so it put a strain on our marriage. After a month he came crawling back,begged for my forgiveness, I took him back. Then I went away for 2 weeks to visit my mother and when I returned I found out that he again cheated ion me with the same girl. Said it was an accident and that it was for sure over this time. I forgave him because of my previous guilt of how I use to leave him for my work all the time
    ( I support the both of us and give him everything he wants) Then months later I read some of his old emails and find out he cheated with several different women. But this time there’s no excuse cause it was just a year into our marriage when he did it and at the time I wasn’t traveling. Is his love BS? Am I being stupid? I no longer work at the same place and my husband now currently supports us, great change after 5 years. Is he really trying to change?

    My Response:

    Dear Waiting for Change;

    I am not saying that someone can never change, but the past has proven otherwise. He has cheated on you more then once, he left you for the ‘other women’ and the first mistake you did was taking him back. You used the excuse of your traveling for work has an okay for him to do what he did to you. Truth is, it wasn’t okay, it doesn’t matter that you traveled, a marriage is through better and worse and if he did not like that you were traveling he should have been honest about it, that is definitely not an excuse to cheat. Now you find out he actually cheated on you before you started traveling for work and with several women, so now do you have an excuse has to why or why it’s okay? Open your eyes, and stop being pushed around, you deserve a man who is honest with you, who will love you and be faithful. No person deserves to be cheated on, if he wants to sleep around then he should have stayed single. Don’t settle for comfort or the fact that now he is supporting you, if you want a real marriage and real relationship without lies I think it’s time you move on. You deserve better, and you need to stand up for yourself and respect yourself to know that what he has done IS NOT RIGHT! Stop waiting for him to change and change your own life.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Sometimes we have hard choices to make…

    Random Thoughts:

    Sometimes we have to make hard choices in life and look for a sign from God, or from the Universe to tell us that what we are doing is okay, that what we are about to do is right, sometimes deep inside we have to trust our feelings and we need to realize that maybe if we need to see a sign, maybe if we need to think about it so much, that maybe that just means it isn’t the right thing to do.

    As we grow older we start to realize the mistakes we have made growing up, the stupid things we used to do when we thought “it won’t happen to me”, and the life lessons that brought us to where we are today. At my age, I can’t say that I have been through it all, because I haven’t and I know that there is so much worse in the world, but at my age I also know that I have been through much more than most. I can’t sit here and cry over the things that have happened and I can’t pretend that they never did (even though some things I wish I could turn back time on), it is what it is, and it has truly made me into the person I am today.

    When you think your world is crumbling down, think about the people out there that have it worse then you, and remember that behind every shut door there is another one waiting to be open.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • My boss friend requested me on FB?..

    The Question:

    Would you find it strange if your male boss made a friend request to you on Facebook? If you were working there for a week only…
    He’s not exactly the friendliest guy either…he’s okay but a little nerdy lol

    I kind of feel like I have no other choice but to except because it’s a good job and I don’t want him to hate me for not accepting him… What should I do?
    (Revised – KN)

    My Response:

    Dear Friend Request;

    I do find it a little strange considering he is your boss and you have only been working there a week. If you don’t want to deny him the friendship request I would add him to a list that you can create under your Privacy Settings. You can manage what some can see and what others can’t see. For example; you can add him to the privacy setting where he cannot see any of your personal information or any of your pictures, and he can only see your wall. If he asks, just tell him you do not have any pictures up and that you barely log onto Facebook. Create your Privacy Settings before requesting him, and if he asks you if you got his friend request tell him you barely log on, so you haven’t seen it. (This way he doesn’t think you are ignoring his friend request), but don’t bring it up so that it makes it look like you really haven’t seen the request, don’t mention it unless he does first…

    I don’t think management should request Facebook friendships, I think it can be awkward and or snooping on their part. If it’s too much just take Facebook off for a while, but I do not think it is necessary if you add him to a privacy list.

    Good luck

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I need a break from Marriage…

    The Question:

    I used to have no problems with my married life. Now I find myself often wanting to be alone… I got married young-ish (25), I am still in love 8 years later, I am just tired of sharing my space 24/7… What can I do?

    My Response:

    Dear Need Space;

    If you are still in love with your wife then this is good. You just need your space, which sometimes is understandable. Take time for yourself, whether it is a hot bath, reading a book or grabbing a glass of wine (yes guys do this too) and if you need more space then that, maybe join a gym and take time off by working out. Go out with a friend to a coffee shop, or a bar to watch the latest sports game. The point is, take some time for you and spend it either by yourself or with some friends. A marriage takes a lot of work but it does not mean that you can’t take a day for yourself. Take a day out of the week or out of the month to do YOU!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My Best Friend might Cheat on her Husband…

    The Question:

    Do you think my married best friend is playing with fire? I’m fuming inside knowing this… My best friend has a wonderful, caring, good-looking husband and children. They seem to have everything going for them. There’s this married man we both know who’s high profile in the community. I’m a single mom btw. Anyway, he became friendly with me and we had a so-called emotional affair for a few years; I guess I was desperate and vulnerable and I regret it all. Now I’m sure he’s after my best friend because he went over for lunch at her place yesterday and the hubby wasn’t there; this is confirmed. He now invited them to his place, at the same time as me and my child (while the wife is gone of course). What should I do? Ignore him and my “best friend”? I can’t believe this is happening.
    — He obviously uses the kids to get through to the mom. He has 2 failed marriages under his belt and is a player, no doubt about that one.

    My Response:

    Dear Friend;

    It really is not your business and your friend is a grown woman so she can do has she pleases. I would stay out of it and just do your own thing. Getting involved might just cause drama you don’t really need in your life. If you feel you can’t stay quiet then confront your friend and talk to her, but after that it is her decision whether or not she pursues anything with this man. After this, just leave it alone and try not to get involved in something that really has nothing to do with you.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Pregnant at 16 how do I tell my parents?

    The Question:

    I found out a day ago that I’m preggers. I’m almost 17 and I’m scared. I have no idea how to tell my parents or what to do. HELP!?

    My Response:

    Dear Pregnant Teen;

    Be honest with your parents, lying only makes things worse, and the sooner you figure this out the sooner your relationship with your parents will grow. This is not going to be easy and your parents are going to be upset, and they have every right to be upset, you are 16 and pregnant and this is not going to be easy. You truly have to think about what you are going to do and if you believe or will consider abortion. I do not believe in abortion 100% but under certain circumstances it is necessary. You are only a child and you are going to be raising a child. A child not only involves your attention, it takes a lot of money, formula, diapers, doctor visits, insurance for your child and before that even happens you have to think about your doctor visits and how much that is going to cost. Is the father around, and is he even going to stick around? You may have to do this on your own without his help. If he is around it is not guaranteed that he will stick around after the baby is here. Waking up at all hours of the night and taking care of a child is not a game. Really think about what you want to do and go from there. Be honest with your parents, I am sure that they will help you with whatever you decide, but don’t think for one second they are going to be happy about this. You are their baby and now you are having a baby, and you have to not only think about this child’s health and well being but yours as well as your education and what you are going to be able to do to support this baby. It is a lot to take in and it isn’t easy, but these are the things you should have thought about before getting pregnant. Be honest with your parents is all the advice I can give on how to tell them, there really is no easy way…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Would you be upset if your Husband…

    The Question:

    I had my nephews 10th birthday tonight and we had dinner at La Porchetta, with the family… so my husband and I and our 2 kids were invited. My husband didn’t come, and blew me off; went out with his mates to a poker game! He has NEVER done this! He ALWAYS comes to family dinners etc especially if he is not working and is home etc..
    I was more ANGRY but now I am just upset 🙁
    My kids are 3 1/2 and 6 months. My husband does work hard and has different shifts at work so there is issues about how much we see each other and family time etc… he goes away for work stays over nights etc and then comes back the next day or after; so my question is would you be upset if your husband did this? or am I overreacting???
    He didn’t forget about the birthday either; I told him and he was home when I left!! He just wanted to go play cards with his mates instead…

    My Response:

    Dear Upset;

    I would sit down with your husband and communicate to him how you feel. This was a family event; and even though it is not his kid and it is your side of the family, you are married, and these kind of events are the kind that you know you have to go to. He could go any other night to play poker with his friends. I would definitely have a talk with him and tell him how you feel. You have young children and maybe he is feeling overwhelmed and needed a break, but this is no excuse! Talk to him, and find out what is really going on…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • No anniversary sex?…

    The Question:

    No anniversary sex. Was I wrong to expect a little action from my wife?
    Yesterday was me and my wife’s 1st anniversary. We went to church as usual. I’m a Sunday school teacher so I left before her. After church I go by the store to get the last few thing so I could cook her dinner. Money is tight because I am unemployed so I couldn’t afford to take her out or anything like that. I ended up going to two stores. By the time I got home she was there sitting in the bedroom watching TV or reading a book or something. I spend several hours prepping and cooking dinner. The whole time I may have sat down for about 10 minutes. When it was ready I fixed her plate as well as the kids. We sit down to eat and just being off my feet for that short time when I stood back up my feet were killing me but I kept going. I asked my wife if she wouldn’t mind cleaning up the kitchen and she basically said no because I use too many dishes when I cook. I spent several hours cooking dinner then it took me all of 15 minutes to load the dishwasher and clean the kitchen. Nobody said she had to wash them by hand. All the while my wife has left the bedroom maybe 3 times. She was still relaxing on the bed. After I got the kids in bed and go back to the bedroom me and my wife watch a little more TV then the next thing I know is that she’s hugging her pillow snoring. Let me clear this up. Our kids are teenagers and I just made sure they had their clothes ironed for school the next day and that they turned off everything in the other part of the house. I turn off the TV and that sort of startled her and she wakes up. We’re laying there in the dark and I’m waiting to see if my wife was gonna make any kind of move. She doesn’t. I mean, it was our anniversary and she literally had done nothing all day. What was she tired for? What she tells me is, “why don’t you go on to sleep!”. I then get up and as I’m walking out she asks me what the matter is and I tell her that if she hasn’t figured if out by now then never mind.

    Did she expect me to make the first move? I thought women likes if when a man took on more duties and chores and that gets a woman in the mood? I did all that work and she pretty much rested bur once the kids were in the bed she was too tired. You hear it all the time. A man with a vacuum is a turn on. I guess the problem is this. I typically do most of the cooking anyway so maybe that was really nothing special to her that I cooked yesterday.

    Was I wrong to expect some action on our 1st year anniversary? And ladies, don’t come at me like “well maybe she wanted you to just wait on her this time!”. I do the majority of the cooking in the house anyway.

    Was I wrong to expect sex or at least a little action from my wife?

    My Response:

    Dear House Hubby;

    Let’s start off with the fact that it is your one year anniversary but you have teenage kids? Technically it may be your one year anniversary but I am assuming that you have been together for much longer than a year since you have teenage kids together. With that said, an anniversary is an anniversary, and although you do not have a job at the moment and normally cook, she needs to appreciate the fact that you do a lot around the house and for the kids. You need to sit down with your wife and tell her how you feel. Communication is key and if you do not talk to each other then nothing is going to change. She may think it is okay for you to do everything since you are not working at the moment, but the fact that you cooked, she should have helped clean up and do the dishes. Especially since it was your anniversary and all. I know it isn’t right and I think that your wife should have maybe set something up in the bedroom while you were out there being the ‘house wife’; but you also could have just tried spicing it up in the bedroom; especially after you saw she was not about to do anything. Again, I really think this should have been her move, since she didn’t do anything else the entire night, so I can understand how you are feeling. Talk to your wife, just because you are unemployed at the current moment does not mean she doesn’t have to help you around the house. On another note: Your kids are teenagers, they need to start helping you around the house. You could have had your kids clean up the kitchen so that mom and dad can enjoy their anniversary time together. Find a way to find a balance in your life and in your relationship.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • How come my Husband doesn’t divorce me even though he is living with his girlfriend?

    The Question:

    How come my Husband doesn’t divorce me even though he is living with his girlfriend?

    Me and my husband separated a year ago because he cheated on me, and he believes that I have cheated on him (I really haven’t). Now he is living with one of his ex-girlfriends and she asked him to call me & tell me that he wants a divorce. This hurt me really bad because I still love him very much. Then he secretly calls back saying that he will never divorce me and that he will always love me. What does that mean? I wonder if he still loves me and wants to work it out someday in the future… any men have similar stories or might have an idea what he may be thinking?

    My Response:

    Dear in DENIAL;

    I’m sorry if I am going to be blunt, but WAKE UP!!! He cheated on you and now he is living with an ex girlfriend, what more do you want him to do in order for you to realize that he is a looser? You deserve more then that, you deserve someone who will love you and not cheat on you, and please do not say that your husband truly loves you, because if he did he would have never cheated on you, and if he did he wouldn’t be living with his ex-girlfriend right now. Your husband is manipulating you, he has the best of both worlds; a wife at home waiting for him and a girlfriend who he gets to sleep with and live with. In other words… your husband is having his cake and eating it too…. I know….cliche metaphor but it is what it is. Don’t let him walk over you and stand up for yourself; if you want to make your marriage work tell him but honestly the trust is so broken that it is probably going to be a very hard road ahead of you to even try to fix things between the two of you. Respect yourself enough to not take such emotional abuse and Love yourself enough to know that you DESERVE BETTER!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on <a/ href=”http://answers.yahoo.com”>Answers.Yahoo.com