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Category: Advice

Need Advice? I’m here to help in anyway I can…. Ask me anything and I’ll tell you what I think…

  • My boyfriend has started beating me?

    The Question:
    I have been staying with my boyfriend for a year, but recently he has started to lose his temper and beat me. He is kind and loving 90 percent of the time, should I leave him because you know the beating will never stop?

    My Response:

    Dear Abused;

    I think you already know the answer here. If you even have to ask then the answer should be obvious, but just in case…. My answer would be YES Leave him, and not just because he probably won’t stop, but because this is not love! Someone who loves you won’t dare put a hand on you, no only is it disrespectful but it’s physical abuse and no person should ever have to go through this. If he has a bad temper it could only get worse, he needs help and he is the only one that is going to have to want to get the kind of help he needs, but if you stick around it can only get worse from here. Respect yourself and Love yourself enough to get out of a relationship you already know is no good for you. Find someone that will respect you and love you and won’t lead to violence just because he gets upset about something.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My boyfriends mum is having an affair what do I do?

    The Question:

    My boyfriend had told me that when he was younger his mum had an affair and his parents split up for a while but now they are back together. His mum goes out a few times a week dancing or with friends but always comes back at funny hours, considering clubs close at 3 she doesn’t come home until 6. I have also seen her sending text messages saying ‘you will always have my heart’ etc to an unsaved number in her phone which she then deletes. I want to tell my boyfriend or his sister but I don’t want to stress him out as he is coming towards the end of university and needs to concentrate on his work and his sister is getting married in June and I don’t want her family to be upset/arguing on her big day. Should I just ignore it?

    My Response:

    Dear Knows Too Much;

    This is a very hard situation to be placed in. If you don’t tell him, and he finds out you knew he might be upset that you didn’t tell him, but on the other hand it really isn’t any of your business. I would honestly more than likely stay out of it, at least for now until after your boyfriend finishes his exams and his sister gets married. And honestly I am sure they aren’t oblivious to the fact that the clubs close at 3am and she doesn’t come home until 6am. I am sure they have noticed this too and I am sure their dad notices as well. Perhaps they are in denial because they do not want to believe that she would do this to their family again. I would stay out of it for now. I am not sure how you even saw her phone messages, especially if she deletes it soon after, BUT just stay away from it all. After all the exams and wedding then decide if you can keep this secret from your boyfriend. Although this is not your business, he is your boyfriend, and trust is a big factor in any relationship. Put yourself in his shoes, would you truly want to know if your mother was cheating on your dad yet again? Or would you rather just not know???

    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • If you caught your Mom cheating, would you tell your Dad?

    The Question:

    If you caught your mom cheating would you tell your dad or not tell him? If not why? If so why?
    ~ My sister caught our mom doing it with a fellow half her age… Yes she had a cell phone that takes pictures, and took a picture for proof of my mom and this guy doing it. My mom is 51 years old and my dad is 55 years old; the fellow my sister took pictures of is probably 18 and having sex with our mom… What should we do, our dad has always been there for us and my sister says he has a right to know…?
    (Revised Question – KN)

    My Response:

    Dear Stuck in the Middle;

    This is a hard situation to be put in. I would definitely confront your mother first, and give her the opportunity to talk to your dad first. If she refuses to tell him the truth, then this is a choice you and your sister are going to have to make. I think no person should cheat on another person, and the fact that your mom is cheating on your dad with a younger man, and somewhere where she can obviously get caught by her own children is wrong on all levels, she has no regard on the consequences that her actions are causing. Talk to your mom first and then go from there.

    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I am in love with my wife’s brother’s daughter?

    The Question:

    I am in love with my wife’s brother’s daughter… She also can’t live without me. I am afraid of the consequences. I also have a son. I tried many times to break but failed, what should I do?

    My Response:

    Dear Disturbed;

    My first reaction: IS THIS A REAL QUESTION?
    Second: That would make her your Niece and that is just wrong.
    Third: How old are you and how old is she?

    Okay so you are in love with your niece (not by blood) but by marriage, and either way this is wrong. I am assuming she is much younger then you and I am assuming that your wife has no clue. First off, why stay in a marriage you aren’t happy in? You obviously do not love your wife to go as far as to sleep with her niece. I would break off whatever it is you think you have going on with this girl, depending on where you live, if the brother (her dad) finds out, this can be considered statutory rape (again I don’t know how old she is) if she is older then it will only cause a lot of problems between you and the family. Do you want to be in a relationship where everyone will not only hate you, but where you will drift her away from her own family. She should also know better, because you are her Aunts husband, and not only is she having an affair with a married man, but to a man who is married into her family. You need to end things with her, and I mean you needed to end this YESTERDAY. Well… you needed to never have started this in the first place… but what’s done is done, so now you need to try and fix things. If you aren’t happy in your marriage then get a divorce, do not cheat on your wife and do not do it with her NIECE. If you are here asking what you should do? I think deep down you already know that answer…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Separated after 20 years of Marriage

    The Question:

    I am going through a separation after 20 years of marriage?
    I am a man on disability, my wife wants to leave me at 55 years old and 20 years of marriage. We have 2 boy’s what am I going to do???

    My Response:

    Dear Disability;

    It isn’t easy and I know you did not say that this is why your wife is leaving you (but you brought it up and one has nothing to do with the other) so I’m going to say it… I am sure that your wife is not leaving you just because you are on disability. (Again this may not even be what you are thinking). Have you sat down with your wife and tried to make the marriage work, figure out why she is leaving you? Communication is key, if you don’t talk, you can’t fix the problem. I know it must be hard to be married for 20 years, have children and be on disability and then have your wife leave you, but it is not the end of the world. You still have those two boys who I am sure love you. Stay focused on the good, and try to find things that you can do with your disability to stay busy. There are tons of groups that you can join, and remember you still have those two boys and that is always going to be your family. Stay strong…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I am married & sleeping with 2 men…

    The Question:

    I have been having an affair, and now I have a major problem?
    I’m married, and I have been seeing another man who works with me since mid May, and we have been having sex, well … a lot. He works in the same building as I do and he has the same lunch hour as I do, so we meet each other at lunch and, well, I know this is going to sound bad but … almost every day and, well you know what happens.

    Well, about two weeks ago, one of my other male co-workers figured out what me and this other guy have been doing at lunch, so he asked me if I wanted a change. He was really handsome and I couldn’t resist, so I had some fun with him too and it was so good, so I started to see him as well.

    Last weekend I started to have some problems “down there”, so I went to get it checked out, and I found out I have an STD. I might have caught it from one of the two men I have been seeing, and I’ now worried that I might have not only spread it to my husband, but one of those guys that didn’t have it.

    My Response:

    Dear Cheater;

    You are a grown women, not only are you married and cheating on your husband but you are using unprotected sex. Didn’t you ever take sex education? Well here is the 101 – NEVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX; as this can result in STD’s or Pregnancy. It is obvious you got this from one of the two men, so you should definitely confront them about it because they can be spreading it to other women as well. As for your husband, it is not going to be easy but it is better to come clean and tell him the truth, because eventually he is going to find out if he has the STD also. I don’t agree with cheating but if you were going to do it, you should have at least used a condom. I don’t want to say it but I will… Karma…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My Best Friend…

    My Best Friend

    We have known each other for way too long
    You aren’t just my best friend
    You are like a sister at all costs.

    We have been through ups and downs
    at one point we didn’t talk
    life moved on
    and then one day out of no where
    you came back into my life
    it was has if we never stopped talking
    as if we had never been apart
    that’s how you truly know this friendship will never part.

    You mean the world to me
    everything you do
    I know if I need you
    You’ll help me through

    If you’re ever in a bind
    I hope you know I’ll do the same
    No matter what time or day
    I’ll always be here
    Just call out my name…

    I know it sounds corny
    but the saying is true
    Friends for Ever
    Just Me & YOU!

    © ~Written by: kristin nicole – March 16, 2011

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    Dedicated to my best friend Grace – I have known her for over 15 years now and she is like a sister to me in so many ways. I was inspired to write this poem after she wrote me a sweet message on my facebook page. She just got married, and I was so lucky to have been chosen as her Maid of Honor…. It is truly a blessing when you find a true friend for life… Love you….

  • Get Your Own Friend

    Get your own Friends

    Get your own friends
    why do you have to seek out mine?
    are you not over it?
    give up your pride…

    Tell me a story
    the one that fell apart
    the one that left you
    and died out your heart

    Get your own friends
    leave mine alone
    is it not enough that it ended,
    that you keep lurking around my door?

    Time is of essence
    we all have to move on
    leave it alone now
    leave it be
    leave, leave, leave…

    Get out of my mind
    out my head
    leaving was the best thing
    if not I’d be dead

    Get your own friends
    just leave mine alone
    find a new hobby
    find a new friend
    just stop trying to steal mine instead…

    © ~written by: kristin nicole – March 2011

    This was inspired by a dream a friend told me about. She stopped being friends with her child hood friend and she started hanging out with her friends and taking them from her, she just wanted to move on from their friendship, but every time she turned around, she was there. Hope you enjoyed the poem.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • I fantasize about my sister in law…

    The Question:

    I fantasize about my sister in law, is that a bad thing? Do women like it when men fantasize about them sexually? Is it a sin?

    My Response:

    Dear Fantasy;

    Let’s start off with the fact that you fantasize about your sister in law – One Gross! That’s your sister in law and it’s just wrong on all levels, how would you feel if your wife was fantasizing about your brother or cousin or someone related to you? NOT GOOD, I am sure…. Second question “do women like it when men fantasize about them sexually?” SURE – If I’m dating you and if I’m not I would be a little flattered, but if you were my brother in law I would be disgusted and weirded out. Third question “Is it a sin?” – Depends how religious you are, some would say it definitely is a sin and others would say No. I would definitely keep these thoughts to yourself and don’t let your wife know, if not you are looking only for trouble.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • He hasn’t called me yet?

    The Question:

    Dear kristin nicole;

    So first off I appreciate that you answer everyones question your site helps alot!!

    I met this guy at my friends sweet sixteen I thought he was cute. So when I left my friend told the guy and I came in and he started talking to me. He introduced himself but we couldn’t hear each other so he asked if I wanted to talk outside I said sure then we introduced ourselves and he asked me what grade I was in I told him and turns out he’s a senior in high school I’m a sopmore then he asked for my number and then he gave me his. When he was about to leave he hugged me and said i’ll talk to u later. It’s been a week and he hasn’t called or text. I texted him on Wednesday about 4 days after the party and he didn’t text back…..What do I think of this?
    🙁

    Sincerely,
    Lost

    My Response:

    Dear Lost;

    First thank you, I love that you look at my website and I would love to help you.

    Sometimes boys like to play games and they take a while to call, but if it’s been a week and you already text him and he did not text back I would take that has a sign that “he’s just not into you”. I know it hurts but sometimes guys act one way and then turn around and act another way. I wouldn’t waste my time, if he really liked you and he was really into you, he would have called by now and or he would have texted you back. If that is how he is going to act now you probably do not want to deal with a guy like that later. You deserve someone who is not going to play games and call you when they truly like you. It was one night of fun and conversation with a cute guy, take that and move on, find another cute boy who will call you back.

    xo,
    kristin nicole