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Category: Advice

Need Advice? I’m here to help in anyway I can…. Ask me anything and I’ll tell you what I think…

  • Are the rumors true?

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I would love to take your opinion about my relationship.

    Shortly, I heard bad stories about the one that I’m attracted to. I heard that he is aggressive, and I heard that he hit his sister more than once and my brother also told me that he saw him with someone in a place which sells drugs !!! … all these are warning signs, but I’m attracted to him and in a very good relationship with his family.

    The question is : should I give him a chance and try to know him by myself or I should listen to those people because I trust him, and please notice that these problems are rarely discovered !!

    If you want more details let me know, but I don’t want to make it long !!

    Thank you in advance and I wish you the best in your relationship 😉

    ~Rumors

    My Response:

    Dear Rumors;

    It’s hard because sometimes rumors are started, but if your own brother is telling you that he saw him in a place selling drugs then this is not a good sign. Sometimes we ignore the signs because we are attracted to someone and lust sometimes takes control of seeing the truth behind the person. Maybe try to just be friends with him, and or confront him about the rumors and see what he says and how he reacts. You definitely do not want to get into a relationship where the person is abusive and possibly either taking or selling drugs. You said you have a good relationship with his family, do you talk to his sister? Perhaps you can see if the rumors behind him hitting her are true. I doubt that if she tells you they are true that more than one person is lying to you about him, and if this is the case it is probably better to cut all ties with him. Trust me, you do not want to fall into a bad relationship, if he’s a good guy then have him prove he is.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • My husband is away & over protective…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I have been married for 2 months and my husband and I have known each
    other for 6 years now. We have a great marriage, we love each other,
    we are supportive of each other and I am happy with my man. However,
    recently (one month ago) he left to Europe in order to pursue higher
    studies for 6 months.

    Ever since my husband moved to Europe he is being insanely over
    protective about me. He keeps telling me not to go out by myself and
    to take my father/ brother along with me if I have to go out any
    where. He keeps calling me very often in the day- I don’t know if he
    is checking on me or he is actually concerned. If he ever calls me and
    phone is engaged, he keeps asking me who was I talking to on the
    phone. I love my husband and I have never thought about anything but
    loving him and staying committed to this relationship.

    I love my husband and I want to be with him. However, his over
    protectiveness is getting to me, I don’t know if I am over reacting or
    if my husband is being over protective. I tried to talk to him about
    this but all he told me was that, he is concerned about me and I need
    to understand that he is protective about me because he loves me.

    I just want to know if this behavior from my husband is normal. If he
    is being reasonable, how do I train myself to adapt to this behavior
    from him..

    My Response:

    Dear Protected;

    Your husband is away in another country, it just isn’t around the corner, and don’t worry it is normal for him to be a little worried about you and protective, you have only been married for 2 months and then he had to go away for school. Remember he can’t be with you so he may be feeling a little insecure and feel that if you go out alone you may find someone. You and I both know this is not the case because you love him, and he is not going to be gone forever. Six months is a long time but it is doable. Try talking to your husband again and explain to him that you feel a little overwhelmed by his over protection. Explain to him that you love him and nothing is going to happen, that you understand he only cares and loves you but you are also a grown women and you will be fine. Explain to him how you feel and communicate to him how it bothers you that he is constantly telling you what to do and how he questions you about who you may have been talking to prior to his phone call. Just remind him how much you love him and that you will soon be together.

    Have you guys tried video chatting? Maybe this will help a little, at least he can see you and feel a little a closer to you. Again six months is a long time but it is not that long, soon enough he will be back home and you can get back to your normal routine.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • My husband allows me to date other guys…

    The Question:

    My husband allows me to date other guys…?

    My Response:

    Dear Dating While Married;

    No man I know would allow their wife or girlfriend to date other guys, Something is definitely wrong with this picture. Either he is seeing someone behind your back and feels that if you date other men it’s okay for him, he’s gay and in the closet and can’t come out to tell you, or something deeper is hiding deep inside. Do you ask yourself why your husband would want you to date other men? Do you want to date other men? I don’t understand the point of being married if you are going to date other men, you might as well be single and live the single life. I am also not sure if there is a question here? Are you asking if it’s okay that your husband allows you to date other men, because of that is the question that the answer is flat out NO!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My husband of 16 yrs had an affair…

    The Question:

    I found out my husband of 16 years has been having an affair and I can’t deal with it please help?

    I found out 4 months ago that he had been sleeping with the secretary at work. Her husband found out and phoned me and told me all about it. My husband told me it had been going on for about 5 months. He said that he did it because it was offered to him on a platter and that our relationship was fine, and that he loves me and does not want to lose me. What hurt the most is he brought her to our house while the kids and I were away and had sex with her in our lounge-room. I have know idea how to get through this, I feel like nothing and I am depressed all the time. I think the best thing is for him to leave but I just don’t know. I know everyone has different ways of dealing with a cheater but I would just like some advice from people who have been in my shoes. Thanks so much…

    My Response:

    Dear Destroyed;

    It’s hard to find out someone we trusted and loved cheated on us. His excuse is plain out BS! Don’t give me that I love you and nothing is wrong yet I’ve been sleeping with my secretary for 5 months because it was handed to me???? SO WHAT???? SO if a guy handed you something in return would you take it? Marriage is a sacred sacrament and it is not something you just ignore. Don’t let him sweat talk you into thinking that what he did was okay. You deserve more than that, you gave him 16 years and now he’s done the ultimate betrayal. It is not going to be easy but I think the first step is making him leave the house. You need to get your thoughts together and you need know that what he did had nothing to do with anything you did, and only selfishness on his part. The fact that he brought this women into your house, where you have your family shows no sign of respect for you or your children. This is unacceptable….and disgusting … You have to be strong for your kids, and you have to know that even though it doesn’t seem like it right now there is always someone out there for someone (even if you don’t see that now), and even though right now you feel like your heart has been ripped out, and you will never feel happy, TRUST ME, You will. Life moves on and we move on and we learn to live and move on from the hurt that others cause us. It is not going to be easy, it’s going to be a hard journey, but you need to be strong and know that you deserve someone a lot better than someone who would lie to you and cheat on you and then use an excuse like the one he did.
    Good luck. Remember you need to love yourself and you need to heal with time before moving on. It will take time, but time does heal all wounds.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I want to have an affair…

    The Question:

    I want to have an affair, but how do I find someone in a small town ?

    My Response:

    Dear Tempted;

    First lets start off with why have an affair? If you want to cheat on your spouse then there are certainly issues there that need to be resolved. Talk to your other half and try to fix things, if you feel there is nothing wrong but you just want to cheat then there is something wrong with the way you feel and think, and perhaps you need to move on from the relationship you are in. Second, a small town – you are only looking to get caught. Don’t cheat, it’s not worth it, and the person you are with I’m sure doesn’t deserve it.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Tomorrow’s your Big Day…

    Tomorrow’s your Big Day…

    Tomorrow’s your big day
    The day you tie the knot,
    The day you say I do,
    And forever be his glue.

    I see the way you look at him,
    The smile in your eyes,
    The way he looks at you,
    The love just shines.

    Tomorrow’s your big day
    I’ll stand right by your side
    I know your dad won’t be there
    but he’s watching from above,
    watching every step you take,
    and sending you his love.

    Tomorrow’s your big day,
    The day you tie the knot,
    The day you say I do,
    and forever be true.

    Tomorrow’s your big day,
    A marriage made by two,
    The day you fall in love again
    and say I DO…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    © Written By: Kristin Nicole – 2011

    Dedicated to my best friend, my sister who I adore. I love you and I wish you nothing but the best filled with happiness and love. I love you.

  • My husband cheated on me with an 18 yr old…

    The Question:

    What do you do when you find out your husband cheated on you?
    I just found out a couple of weeks ago that my husband cheated on me twice with the same girl, a couple of weeks apart, three years ago. We were going through a serious rough patch, having only been married a year, fighting a lot, and I was being stupid and threatening to leave him. He was only 20, and I was 23, and we had a couple of friends that used to come over and hang out at our place a lot, one of them being this 18 year old girl. I thought she and I were good friends, I treated her like a little sister. I found out that she was infatuated with my husband, took advantage of the fact that he was afraid I was going to leave him, and , seduced him with a little alcohol and the whole I’m here and she is not. After the second time, he started distancing himself from her and the other friends, and eventually kicked them out altogether, me none the wiser. He has lied to me about it for 3 years, never telling me because he was afraid of losing me. Should I let it go or not?

    My Response:

    Dear Cheated On:

    Cheating is never tolerated, and even though she threw herself at him, he still had the power to say NO! With that said, men are also weak, this does not mean that what he did is okay by all means, but the fact that he distanced himself from that group and that girl shows he was A. Trying to avoid you finding out or B. He felt really bad and didn’t want anything to do with that group. Either way, he did what he did (although you were having problems at the time, again it still does not excuse what he did), but seeing it in a man’s point of view, I can see why he leaned more towards this 18 year old girl who was throwing herself at him. He was and still is very young, and mistakes are made. I would not condone him cheating and the fact that he hid this from you, but if he really loves you and you really love him and he never did it again with her after that (3 years ago) or anyone else for that matter, than it really is up to you if you can forgive him and move on. The big question is: Can you ever trust him again? If you can trust him and let this go and work on your marriage then do it, if you are going to throw this in his face and be angry with him about this all the time, then there are some hard decisions you may have to make down the road. I think you should definitely communicate about this and tell him how you feel, don’t hold anything in. You deserve someone that won’t cheat the first sign of trouble. He may be sorry but can you forgive him?

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Renew our vows or tell him I don’t love him?

    The Question:

    My husband and I are supposed to renew our wedding vows in a few days but I am not in love with him anymore.? I am actually thinking of filing for a divorce. My husband is really making a big deal of the vow renewal thing, and has already paid for plane tickets for guests to come. We are supposed to have a big party afterwords, sort of an anniversary party with family and friends. He has invested a lot of money in it. Should I just wait until after everything is over before telling him I want a divorce, since he’s spent so much money already?

    My Response:

    Dear Renewing your Vows;

    You should have been honest with him before he spent all that money planning to renew your vows, now with that said, it’s too late, but it is better to tell him before hand than to wait afterwords, there may be a chance for him to get some of the money back on a lot of things. Your husband is probably going to be heart broken seeing as he is the one planning this, but do you really want to stand in front of family and friends and renew your vows to a man you no longer love? How can you live that lie? Step up and tell him how you really feel, he may not appreciate it now, but trust me, it’s better to tell him now than after the renewal of your vows. That is so much worse, he will feel like you really lied to him then, standing in front of everyone and looking him in the eyes only to be saying words that you really don’t mean. Step into his shoes for a minute, and how would you feel? Tell him the truth now, and hope that he can get some money/refunds back.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My boyfriend is 20 yrs older…

    The Question:

    If your dating a much older guy, would you introduce him to your parents?
    Me and my boyfriend have a 20 year difference, both of us are over 21. It’s getting serious and parents would like to meet him. Any advice?
    Additional Details
    We have been together for a year, neither of us are married (know someone will ask).

    My Response:

    Dear Much Younger;

    If you are 20 years apart that makes your boyfriend over 40, this is a huge gap difference and regardless of when your parents meet this guy they probably aren’t going to react the way you want them to. If you are serious about this guy and you have been dating for a year, then I think it’s time the parents meet him. Give them the heads up so they aren’t shocked in front of him. Don’t keep hiding him from your family, you are an adult and you can date whoever you want, they will eventually have to come around and understand. If you fell in love with him, I am sure your family will to.

    GOOD LUCK

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com/a>

    February 21, 2011

  • What would I have to do to get a divorce?

    The Question:

    What would I have to do to get a divorce? My wife cheated on me after two months of getting married, I know that is not love involved so please don’t hit me up side my head (I know what she did was wrong), please it took me some time to come here an ask for help I’m a good guy and I don’t deserve this. Please can anyone help me… (Modified question to make sense)

    My Response:

    Dear Married for 2 months;

    There are two options, if you want a divorce you can file it yourself by going to the courthouse in your area, and asking them what the process is to file for a divorce, (if you have been married for only 2 months you may be able to annul the marriage, which is easier and cheaper to do). If you have to get a divorce and you don’t want to file it on your own you can consult a lawyer. Get a few price ranges and whoever is best, if the two of you don’t have anything under your name together and no children then it should be fairly easy to get divorced. Sorry to hear that your wife cheated on you so soon after marriage, no one deserves that, just be happy you found out now rather than 10-20 years down the road. Get divorced and move on, you deserve someone who won’t do something like that to you.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com