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Category: Advice

Need Advice? I’m here to help in anyway I can…. Ask me anything and I’ll tell you what I think…

  • Confirmation

    So last night was my sisters Confirmation. Yes on a Thursday at 7 p.m. We had to be there by 6 though, and thankfully we were because we would have not gotten seats other wise.

    The Confirmation

    The Confirmation was very organized and the mass went fairly quick. The Bishop is the one who Confirmed all the kids, which is the first time I have seen this happen. Usually it’s the priest. I thought it was very nice though. The Bishop knew how to speak and the entire mass kept you listening to every word he said. He was funny too. I think we need more people like him in the churches, it keeps children more interested in what they are saying. The mass lasted an hour and a half. After it ended we headed back to my house where my mom already had the dinner ready. We had bistec empanizado (breaded steak) with moro (rice & beans) & platano maduro (plantains). It was all very good. We ate, cut the cake, talked & laughed. I think the night turned out wonderful. Confirming your faith is important to our family and I think it was a beautiful mass and my sister looked beautiful.

    “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” ~Reinhold Niebuhr

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

  • Plan a party at someone elses house without letting them know?!

    Dear Kristin Nicole,

    I have a friend who came over last weekend, and we discussed having a get together at my house to watch movies and eat with a bunch of our friends. However, I didn’t confirm with her and she went on to invite everyone without letting me know about it. On top of everything I realized I had a big project due this Saturday, my boyfriend will be painting the house and I have a lot of work to do as well. I told her that we had to cancel because of all the things I had to do and she sent an email out inviting everyone to another one of our friends house, without even confirming with him or asking him if it was okay to do that. She is out of control, and my friend called her best friend to tell her we needed to do something about this because she was getting out of control. Now she canceled the surprise graduation party she had for her best friend on Monday because her best friend told her she couldn’t throw the parties at either of our houses. How do we tell her that it’s just not right to invite people to other people’s houses with out discussing it with them first?

    ~ Frustrated Friend

    Dear Frustrated Friend,

    To be blunt your friend needs to learn some manners. It is very rude to invite yourself and others to someone elses house with out their approval. However, I understand that she is your friend and you guys are just trying to let her know that she needs to discuss things with you first before planning events at your house. Perhaps your friend just got a little excited about the whole get together, that she doesn’t realize that what she is doing isn’t the right way to go about things. Sit down with your friend and let her know that you were a little upset because she didn’t confirm with you. That next time you just need her to confirm with you before inviting people to your house. As for your other friend who was also upset, he should also tell her that she can not just invite people to his house with out asking him. Explain to her that you aren’t upset with her, you just need to communicate more with each other before planning any events. Or just don’t plan any other events with her to assure that she won’t go off the handle and plans things with out your permission.

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

  • Words Unspoken

    With words unspoken I turn to you,
    With every being in me I say to you,
    The love I have is oh so rare,
    A moment shared is without a care,
    So deeply moved in the oceans blue,
    As I look at you and truly see,
    That what we have is special,
    That we share is true,
    With every pulse and every breath I know that I love you.

    Sometimes I stare into the sky,
    And wonder what will be,
    As I close my eyes ,
    I see you there,
    Holding me close as I pull back my hair,
    And with every sparkle in the sky,
    I see my future through your bright green eyes.

    With words unspoken I turn to you,
    I say I love you with meanings so true,
    And every night I go to bed,
    I say a prayer in my head.

    Lord watch over us every night,
    Because a love like this is hard to find.
    With every fiber in my soul, I love.
    I love…

    xo,
    Kristin Nicole

    ©Written By: kristin nicole – 2009

  • Who’s your best friend?

    Who’s your best friend?

    Sometimes you have more then one best friend, sometimes you have more then one in a lifetime. I know I have.

    Best Friend:

    Definition: Best Friend, someone (singular or plural) with whom one shares the strongest possible kind of friendship(s)

    I have had different best friends through out my life time. Or so I thought they were my best friends at the time. But has life teaches you sometimes a person isn’t always your best friend.

    BF?

    Through out my 26 years I have had a few best friends and I have lost most of them and only a few stuck around or left and came back. I have had friends who I considered my best friends up until I realized they weren’t really my friends at all. Either they talked bad about me, lied to me or I just realized they only cared about themselves and if I needed them, where were they? Is that a best friend? Someone who lies, talks about you and is never there for you? So I decided to part my ways and move on.

    How do you move on?

    You have to be strong, if you realize a person isn’t good for you, then you have to think about yourself, and what is going to be good for you in the long run. I had a friend who I thought was one of my best friends, and I would call her and she would disappear for weeks on end, while I was worried something may have happened to her, then she would call me and everything would be okay. We would talk practically every day, then she would disappear again. After the last few times of this, I got tired of always feeling like I was the only one trying in our friendship. I realized that if I had a problem I couldn’t even rely on calling her, because she wouldn’t pick up. What kind of friend is this? Not a friend at all. So I wrote her an email, the only way I can contact her since she wasn’t picking up my phone calls. I told her how I felt and I told her I would be here for her if she needed me. I never got a reply, a call, nothing. So I moved on. Friends come and go and even though sometimes it really sucks to loose them in your life, I truly believe that you meet people to teach you lessons, or they’re just passing by to introduce you to someone else in your life. I have actually met many people who have introduced me to other people which changed the course of my life. You can’t turn back time and you can’t change things that happen in your life. Each person that walks into your life is a blessing, whether it’s bad or good. At the end of the day it’s a lesson learned, and new a journey and pathway into your life.

    The last friend I spoke of, I couldn’t have asked for anything better because of her I met my boyfriend. I couldn’t be happier. So you see…You meet people for a reason, even if they aren’t meant to stay in your life forever.

    True Best Friends

    True best friends stick around for the long run. I have been lucky to have had so many friends, even if they have come and gone in my life. The ones who have stuck around, those are a blessing. My mom, that’s the first one, she will always be there for me no matter what, and this I know is true. She has been there for me when I couldn’t stand up, when I was worried or scared. She is truly a best friend any person can ever ask for.

    Then there is my sister in law, she came into my life and we just clicked. She has always been there for me, we even have fought like true sisters. I know I can tell her anything and she won’t judge. I know that she will always be there for me like I will be there for her.

    My boyfriend, I couldn’t ask for anything more then a person not only I love but is also my best friend. I talk to him about everything. Even if it’s about him, I can’t help but tell him that he’s annoying me. LOL. Not many people are as lucky as I am to find a boyfriend and have him be your best friend. And if you are just as lucky as I am, count your blessings =)

    Then you have friends that you loose touch with but in the end of the day, they will come back. My best friend Grace. We have memories from when we were 14 years old. We lost touch for a while, our lives were in different roads, but we found each other again, and we know that we will always be there for each other no matter what.

    So if you have a best friend, be grateful. Count your blessings for even those friends who have come into your life and left. Because everyone comes into your life for a reason.

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

  • Man killed girlfriend in fight over beer and tried to have sex with her corpse

    I have heard my share of stories but this one, the title alone just astonished me. You kill your girlfriend over beer then you try to have sex with her corpse. How more sick can this get?

    The Story

    Robert Conde, 41 from Ft. Lauderdale was arrested Wednesday morning. He said he got in argument with his girlfriend over beer, he beat her until she couldn’t fight back, until she was dead. He removed her pants and tried to have sex with her, he then covered her up to lay next to her. Ruth Ann Trueblood (they didn’t disclose her age) was later found behind the building. They found Robert Conde not to far from the body and when asked if he knew her he said no, but then later said “OK, all right. I did it. I killed her,” this is what reports said.

    My fair opinion

    So another murder, another day right. Seems that way lately. Seems like anywhere you go or read, you hear about someone dieing. But over beer? Seriously?!?! Apparently so, folks. He beat her in the face until he knew she was dead. Unbelievable. I’m happy that he was caught because this man needs serious help. There has to be something wrong with a man, especially after confessing so easily. Who is Ruth Ann Trueblood though? Does she have family here? Is she a mother? Reports haven’t disclosed any information except her name and how she died. I just hope that Ruth Ann is resting in peace, I hope that if she does have family out there that they will be okay. I know it will take time to heal. It can’t be easy learning that your family member died over Beer?!

    If tears could build a stairway, And memories a lane, I’d walk right up to Heaven, And bring you home again. ~Author Unknown

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

    If you want to read the full story Link Here.

  • Social Anxiety, Bad Relationships

    A friend of mine who was/is/sort of dating this guy has social anxiety. Now I say was/is/sort of because it’s an on and off relationship, and I just don’t know where they stand right now. So back to the story, my friend can’t even be out in a restaurant with him before he starts asking for the check. He doesn’t like to hang out with her friends, only the 2 friends he has. They don’t go out & they spend all their time in his room. Is this a relationship?

    What is social anxiety disorder?

    Most people occasionally feel the familiar signs of nervousness when meeting new people or speaking in front of a group. But for people with social anxiety disorder, or social phobia, these signs of nervousness are much worse. Their fear of everyday social situations makes it very difficult for them to function on a daily basis. Social anxiety disorder affects about 10.5 million Americans in any given year. Social anxiety disorder occurs more often in women than in men.

    The story
    But in this case it’s the male who is suffering from Social Anxiety. Now is it really social anxiety he has? Or is it something deeper, something else that is causing him to not even hang out with her friends. He has only been able to go to one of her friends house, and even there he is begging to leave and gets mad because he says they make him feel unwanted. What is this about? Get a grip I would say! Man up! What is your problem??? But what if his problem really is Social Anxiety? Can she live with this? I am one of her closest friends and I’m still waiting to meet the guy. It’s been over 6 months~!?

    Unhappy
    She hasn’t been happy in a long time, and they have nothing in common but watching shows on t.v. That isn’t a relationship. And yet she holds on to only reasons she knows. I can’t utterly understand the concept of staying in a relationship you aren’t happy in. Okay I take that back, I was in a relationship I wasn’t happy in. But to my defense I really wanted to be happy! Okay, so that’s how most of us women think! Even though we tell our girlfriends and deep down know that we aren’t happy, we still somehow come up with all these reasons to stay in a relationship, even though it’s tearing you apart inside.

    Why???
    Why do we do this? I guess a lot of us want to help that person (if they do have a problem such as social anxiety), or your don’t want to be alone, or you believe that you are so in love that you can’t find someone better, and some of us (no offense) are just stupid. Hey I was STUPID! DUMB, YOU name it, THAT WAS ME! But I opened my eyes and I realized that you cannot change or help a person that doesn’t want to be helped. And you cannot hope to be happy, you either are or you aren’t.

    Make a Change
    Put yourself first for once and do what is right for you. Don’t be scared to hurt the other person. In the long wrong they will see it too, that you are only doing what is right for the both of you. Why does he/she want to be with someone that doesn’t love them? And why do you want to stay with someone you don’t love? Move on!

    My Advice
    Back to my friend…Giving her my advice I would say. You are beautiful, smart, fun, don’t settle, find someone you love and that loves you back and that will be willing to do things you like. (Hanging out w/ your friends, going to the movies, dinner). Don’t settle because you have had some crummy relationships and he seems nice. Nice sometimes isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be. You need more than nice! You need love, laughter, trust. That’s another issue in itself TRUST! (He goes through her text messages). Then he confronts her on her text messages. (wow). So friend, the road is tough, and the journey’s are hard, but keep on moving because you’ll pull through stronger than ever and you will one day, I PROMISE find that man that will truly make you happy! (And that advice is to all women/or men out there who think they can’t find anyone better than the person they are with now). Trust me you can! I let go of the unhappiness and now I FOUND what is real. I found love and I couldn’t thank god anymore than I already do for giving me the strength to finally let go and move on. So be strong, and move one from that rut you say you can’t possibly get out of. Because I KNOW YOU CAN! & YOU WILL.

    The strength of the heart comes from the soundness of the faith. – Saudi Arabian Proverb

    XO, Kristin Nicole

    If you want to learn more about Social Anxiety and get books etc. Go to: Socialphobia.org.

  • Support your Partner, Family &/or Friends?

    How do you know when it’s the right time to support the partner, family or friend you are with?

    I heard on the radio the other day a women calling in, saying that she wanted to own her own business. Her husband didn’t want to support her. He said they didn’t have money for it and she couldn’t do it. She didn’t let that stop her, she got a loan and opened up her own business and now she is doing great. She says she doesn’t give him a dime and she can do as she pleases because since he didn’t support her he has no say in her business now. Why wouldn’t her husband support her?

    Support
    If my boyfriend told me he wanted to do something that can make him money, whether or not I agree with it, and whether it’s something I would do or not, I would support him. Why? Because it will make him happy. And what makes him happy makes me happy. Whether it works out in the end or not doesn’t matter. If it didn’t work then you take your losses and you start over. But at least you know you tried. If it does work, even better! I can understand if the terms of building a new idea was going to cost you to invest a lot of money, money you perhaps don’t have. I can see, where being hesitant to support your partner comes in here. If this isn’t the circumstance then I don’t see the problem. Don’t bring someone else’s dream down just because you may think it won’t work out.

    To Support or Not to Support???
    Now how do you know what to support them in and what not to support them in? Some people mistake this a lot believe it or not. If the person you know is doing drugs, but you are afraid to tell them how bad that is for them, or that they need help, or you think they will get mad at you. This is the time to not support there habit. This is a totally different situation than the one I described above. Do you care for them? Love them? Then take your chances, because when that person truly realizes that what you are doing is because you care for them and love them then they’ll get over the anger, but don’t support there habit. Help them by supporting their recovery. Be there for them by helping them not making it worse.

    Do not Support
    If someone you know drinks too much, same thing. Tell them they need to stop or your relationship is going to disintegrate. I know it’s harsh, but they need to know these things, and if they truly want to help themselves and they truly love you, they will at least try.

    Try to support the person you love the best way you know how. Everyone needs to make their own steps in life and learn from them, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t help push them in the right direction sometimes. Supporting someone’s dream and supporting someones drug or alcohol problem are two different things. By supporting someone in who is addicted to something is not helping them it’s only making it worse.

    ~Note: This is only my opinion take my advice if you choose to. ~ Thank you ~

    “We should never permit ourselves to do anything that we are not willing to see our children do”. – Brigham Young

    “At the end of every hard day, people find some reason to believe. – Bruce Springsteen

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

  • Small moments do matter!

    When I was younger I felt sometimes as if my world was falling apart. I didn’t know what to do, where to turn. If I went right, I was supposed to go left. I held people in my hearts to the highest power, until they lost my trust. Then I blocked them out of my life, because who needs someone in their lives who is only going to hurt you?

    You feel
    Sometimes you lie down and you feel as if the world is spinning, almost as if the world will come crashing down on you any second, and when you finally get the courage to open your eyes and look out the window you can truly see the world isn’t spinning anymore. You take a deep breath and start another day with a smile on your face. Not all days were like this, but most of them. Hiding behind a shield, pretending to be someone your not, only to realize you don’t even know who you are anymore. When did you start pretending and when did it get so far that you lost yourself? Questions asked, answers un-answered.

    Small bit of hope
    Then there comes a time in your life when you finally realize things need to change, you need to change. For the better. I used to think like this. Struggling to find a way out of a hole I put myself in, yet I couldn’t find the way out. But has I got older I started to realize that life comes with it’s ups and downs, and sometimes weather we like it or not we have to sit down and realize that even if we aren’t happy in that moment doesn’t mean we’ll feel like this forever. A small bit of hope entered my heart, and this is what kept me going….

    Never give up
    Strive for what you want don’t let it go, no matter how many tears, no matter how much anger or burdened feelings you have inside, get up and fight for what you want. Because if life as taught me anything in the 26 years of living, it’s taught me to be strong, to live life in the moments that sometimes just seem to pass you by. When you finally realize how not to take things so personal you also start to realize the world isn’t so bad.

    Things do get better
    As you grow older you start to see the world in a different light. You start to notice that not all flowers bloom in the spring. Thinking positive and believing in what you want is what makes you stronger. Look at the small moments in your life that made you laugh, or smile. Aren’t those the moments you always remember. People take life for granted, they don’t realize that the smallest moments in your lives sometimes are the greatest moments you will ever experience. I remember when I was about 7 or 8 years old and I was hanging out with my grandmother that day (on my dad’s side). She told me she had a surprise for me. My surprise: Taco Bell. I was ecstatic, taco bell, my favorite, when I was little. Small moment = Great moment. We spent the entire day together, eating at Taco Bell, Playing board games and watching The Price Is Right! Again small moment = GREAT MOMENT! I have had many small moments in my life that made me smile. For my birthday I went with my boyfriend to Key Biscayne and with our new camera, we spent the day taking pictures. Some may think this was a small moment, but to me it was a GREAT Moment. I had so much fun, just relaxing and taking pictures. It was almost as if I was somewhere else just for a few hours.

    Whats my point
    Whats my point? One point in my life I felt as if the walls were closing in on me. I had locked myself in a box with no way out. Then I grew up, I realized that there is more out there in the world. There is so much more to see and feel. Even though life is hard and we remember the pain that we go through, you have to sit back and remember all the good times you have had too. Life is too short to only remember the bad. Close your eyes and picture a time you felt really happy. Wasn’t that a great moment in your life?

    Small Moments = GREAT MOMENTS!!!!!

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

  • Who is to blame?

    I have a friend who continues to contemplate weather or not to break up with her boyfriend. I can’t stop to think, what is she thinking? But who is ever thinking anything when they believe things can work? When you do love this person, but sometimes can’t distinguish at the time weather it’s love (for a friend) or I’m in love (you are my soul mate).

    She has tried to open up to him and change some of her flaws, (we all have them), but it never seems to be enough. I think in any relationship you try to change the things the other person may not like. I don’t mean to change your whole persona, you are who you are, and the person you are with should love you for you. When I say change, I MEAN like you don’t normally throw your laundry in the basket you throw it on the floor, and the person you are with dislikes this, you can change. Just throw it in the basket from now on. Small changes make a world of a difference.

    I can truly say I know both people. I know her boyfriend and I used to hang out with him a lot while they were in there long distance portion of the relationship. He has a lot of issues with his past and his family and trust is a factor he doesn’t carry very often. He can’t take responsibility for things he may have fault in and everything always seems to be her fault. Is that right? To always blame the other person? To never see your own fault? How much easier it is to blame the other person, so that if things end…”It wasn’t me. I tried my best, she/he left me. Poor Me”.

    Don’t cry about it, see what you are doing wrong yourself. Don’t you want to try and work it out with this person you say you “LOVE”? Then when the other person in this case, (the girl) tries to tell you how she feels, tries to reach out, you (in this case the guy), tries to turn things around as if it was all her fault. And poor little boy who cries in the corner gets dumped by his girlfriend. GIVE ME A BREAK! Grow up, be a man, stand up for what you really want. And if it’s not her, just tell her, but don’t play games and make yourself look like the victim. Don’t pretend as if she is to blame for the entire relationship falling apart. (Now I’m not to say it’s always the guy, there are situations where the girl acts this way).

    He told her he might move away for school, but he wasn’t sure, and this was decided before they became a couple. But don’t you think that now that they are a couple he should talk to her about this? He is moving to other side of the country, I’m not talking a few hours away. I’m talking plane ride, couple days in a car distance. This isn’t something you just do when you are with someone you say you love. Am I right, or am I thinking selfishly here? I don’t think you should stop your future plans especially if it’s for school, but it would be nice to have an adult discussion as to what may happen with “us” if you move away.

    I just hope that she truly chooses what is best for her, that she can see she deserves better. That anyone in that position guy or girl deserves better. And if you aren’t happy, get out, move on. There is someone out there for everyone, there as to be. I can not believe other wise. Because when I lost love more than once, I thought this is it, I’m going to be alone and never find anyone. Then god showed me that you just have to learn from your mistakes, or the mistakes of others and when you least expect it you find that person who is for you.

    This saying is small but cute – “If you love me, let me know. If not, please gently let me go”. ~Anonymous

    Relationships aren’t easy, but if you truly love the person you are with, you always try to make it work.

    If you have your own relationship stories, or questions please email me Soapnights@gmail.com. Don’t be shy, I’ll only tell you what I think, you can take it from there… =)

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

  • Boyfriends are a Pain In The Ass (P.I.T.A) / Do men PMS?

    Do you ever wonder if men PMS like women do? They just don’t get the actual period like we do. Am I right or am I right?

    I think we all know that sometimes the roles are reversed. Sometimes I make a comment to my boyfriend and to his interpretation he goes off on me. He doesn’t see it of course. Now, had it been the other way around he would have gotten all upset that I was giving him attitude! That’s what we do when we PMS, right?? (sarcasm) So what does this say about our fellow species?

    Are they likely to PMS just not get their actual period? I believe this to be true. How lovely it is to be a man. I think it my next life I want to be a man. You don’t get all the symptoms that a women gets, you get to pee standing up and if it’s hot you can take off your shirt without people staring at you. (Well that depends).

    How many women out there have boyfriends/husbands that PMS around the same time they do? Or maybe a week before or after us? I swear my boyfriend PMS’s around the same time I do and if it happens to be before me, I always tell him it isn’t time to PMS, we don’t get our period till much later.

    No matter what our emotions are though, we are all allowed to have a bad day, and at the end of the day when I go to lye down in bed, I look over to the side and I know that no matter how much a man may PMS, So do we! And at the end of the day I know I love him no matter what!

    Now if only men thought this way. 😉

    I found this quote and thought it was funny.

    ~“How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.” ~Oscar Wilde

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

    Believe it or not, I found a website that study shows men also suffer from PMS Link to the Source: Here.