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Category: Advice

Need Advice? I’m here to help in anyway I can…. Ask me anything and I’ll tell you what I think…

  • Advice Column: Will I ever fall in love?

    Advice Column: Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: Will I ever fall in love?  Image found on flickr.com

    The Question:

    Will I ever fall in love?
    I just got out of a relationship a few months ago (I’m 15) and it was my first relationship, I’m not the prettiest girl in my year group or ‘everyone first choice’ and he was the first guy to really like me. I feel like I’m never going to fall in love again because of what happened during the break up because I’d guard myself too much and also because no one would really like me in that way, how do I become someone who’s actually someone’s choice & be known?
    My Response:
    Dear Teen;
    Of course you will fall in love again, you may fall in love 2, 3 more times. You are still young and you have your whole life ahead of you. Don’t ever think you aren’t worth finding love for. Everyone is pretty in different ways. A person you may think is prettier than you in your eyes may not be so pretty in a guys eyes. Beauty on the outside isn’t everything either. I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t build that wall where you don’t let others in. Part of life and love is getting hurt. It’s what makes us stronger and wiser. One day you will see that everything happens for a reason and and this first boyfriend of yours will be nothing but a small memory in the back of your head. Be confident and don’t put yourself down so much. Everyone is different but confidence is key.
    xo
    kristin nicole
    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: He’s flirting with me and my friend

    Advice Column: Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: He’s flirting with me and my friend. Image found on flickr.com

    The Question:

    Is he basically lying to me? Does he even like me?

    This guy I like has been showing signs that he likes me and things were really going well. I went out for a walk the other day and we bumped into each other. I asked him if he wanted to come with me on this walk. Everything was really nice and we were really flirting. Next minute my friend rings saying she’s allowed to come over, so I tell her to meet me. 

    My friend turns up and this guy instantly starts looking her up and down but is still in deep conversation with me. He then starts making jokes about her having sex and that she’s always doing it. I then start talking about something serious and he interrupts by walking past me and picking my mate up on his shoulder. He keeps touching her arm and messing with her hood in front of me like I’m not there. He then start adding her on Facebook and flirting with her. We walk to his house and when we get in he tells me to sit on the other side while they sit together, but as soon as she goes home he’s asking me to message him. 

    He called me today and I said I’m not going out again and he was like ‘why not? I’ll have to drag you out!’  What is it with him and why is he leading me on and then clearly flirting with my friend? 

    Please help 

    My Response:

    Dear Confused;

    He is obviously trying to have his cake and it too (sorry for the metaphor) but it fits perfectly with your situation. It sounds like you need to talk to your friend first. Does she know you like this guy? If she does then it’s wrong that she would be flirting with him right in front of you instead of trying to help you out. If this guy really liked you then he wouldn’t be flirting with your friend right in front of you. I say move on and find a guy who is really into you and not trying to mess with your head. It sounds like he’s trying to hook up with your friend and then hook up with you while your friend is away. If he really liked you he would have already asked you out. This doesn’t seem to be the case, so move on and find a real man.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: Does my personal trainer like me?

     

    Advice Column: Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: Does my personal trainer like me? Image found on flickr.com

    The Question:

    If he likes me, he would call me. Right?

    He gave me a personal training session preview and I was pretty much flirting with him the whole time, but it might not have been obvious. I don’t know if all personal trainers do this but he asked to touch my butt for one exercise and I said no because I did not want to seem like a slut but he was touching my back a lot and I’m not sure if personal trainers do this. I didn’t have any money so couldn’t hire him. He probably does not like me but I wrote down my email and number on the form. I think he can call it if he wanted to ask me out. It would probably be dumb to ask him, but I don’t want to come off as slutty or desperate.

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Working Out;

    Personal trainers at times may hold your back or ask to support you depending on the exercise. This does not mean that the trainer was flirting with you. Some personal trainers will flirt with their clients in order to try and have them come back, that can be normal for any man. If he wasn’t flirting with you back, I am not sure what the question is. Why would he call you if you didn’t get that vibe from him? If you left your information, for him it was merely business. I am sure a lot of girls flirt with him as he’s training them. If you like him, that is up to you whether you want to talk to him and let him know how you feel, but don’t feel bad if he turns you down.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: Sex and Weight

    Sex and Weight - Image found on Flickr.com
    Advice Column: Sex and Weight – Image found on Flickr.com

    The Question:

    Sex and Weight

    My guy is physically fit. I’m not. I fear being on top during sex, its not sexy all the fat. Plus I know I will tire easily. Words of thought?

    My Response:

    Dear On Top;

    If your boyfriend is fit and you are not there are two things you need to think about.

    Number one – If you are unhappy with your body, start working out. It can be an activity that you can do with your boyfriend and you will feel better about yourself. There is nothing wrong with feeling bad about your body, this is normal especially for women. But you have to realize that your boyfriend is with you for a reason and if he loves your body than you need to start learning how to love it to. With that said, there is also great health benefits to working out and eating healthy so look into making a life change to better your life and your confidence.

    Number Two – Be happy with your body and have confidence. Your boyfriend is with you for a reason so he must love the way you look. You don’t have to be on top for the entire time, you can start and roll over to end up on the bottom, or start on the bottom and finish on top. Talk to your boyfriend about how you feel and work things out. Remember having sex is also exercising so look at as killing two birds with one stone.

    xo

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: I feel sick when I see him

    Breaking up is hard to do. Image found on Flickr.com
    Advice Column: I feel sick when I see him. Image found on Flickr.com

    The Question:

    I feel sick when I see him, what do I do?

    I was friends with my ex 5 years (platonic), together for 2. We have had problems and gone back and forth. He came back and I thought I wanted to try again. I feel sick to my stomach and unhappy when I have to see him. The problem is how do I break up with him? It’ s such a loss.

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Feeling Sick;

    Sometimes our feelings change for the better and sometimes like in your case for the worst. It’s normal for this to happen when a relationship is dead. Don’t feel bad to be honest with him. Breaking up with someone is never easy but it’s better to let him go than to pretend to be happy in a relationship that you are no longer happy in. It’s a clear indication that this needs to be done if you are feeling sick to your stomach when you see him. Tell him how you feel – well I wouldn’t tell him you feel sick when you see him that might be a bit too harsh. But tell him you want to see other people and that this just isn’t working out.

    xo

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: Is this normal for a guy?

    Facebook chat. Image found on Flickr.com
    Facebook chat. Image found on Flickr.com

    The Question:

    Is this normal for a guy?

    I have a boyfriend who I’ve been with since 2005, but I’ve been talking to this guy on Facebook for a while now. He’s 30 and I’m 26. He told me that he had a girlfriend and I found her profile on Facebook. I think they are having some problems, he talks to me everyday all day. He even flirts with me sometimes but based on the things I’ve seen on her timeline, I think he’s the player/cheater type. I don’t think they are together anymore and he’s just lying to me about being with her for whatever reason. He stalks me a lot on Facebook and messages me all the time. It seems like he has really had a hard life and he told me that he wanted to be friends with me. Some of the things he says comes off as flirty. He asked me if I have ever heard of a forehead kiss. Saying it’s so relaxing he said; “If a man pulls a woman towards him and he looks her in her eyes, grab her waist, then bite his lip wanting her and if she doesn’t stop him from kissing her after a hug then hey.” He said that he wanted to be friends with me. I’d like to be friends with him too but I don’t know if I can trust him. I do not want to get involved with him physically at all meaning I do not want to sleep with him. I really want to be friends with him but I don’t want him to take advantage of me. Like I want to be there for him and try to be there for him. Am I stupid for feeling this way? I know he’s a player that’s why I don’t want to be his girlfriend I only want to be friends and nothing more.

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Chatter; 

    I’m a bit confused on how you start your question… You have a boyfriend that you have been with since 2005, but you are talking to this guy on Facebook who has a girlfriend? Did I miss anything? First off, if you are emotionally cheating on your boyfriend don’t you think you need to figure out your situation before moving onto a relationship with anyone? It’s okay to have guy friends but looking for someone to talk to when you are already in a relationship is a bit odd. Second if the guy you are talking to has a girlfriend then move on, why are you wasting your time with a guy that is already taken? If he truly wasn’t happy with his girlfriend he would break up with her and try to be with you, but that’s not the case. You say you don’t want anything physical with this guy that you only want to be friends, but the truth is, if he’s flirting with you then more than likely he wants to be more than just friends. I say figure out your relationship first and move on from this guy.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: Proposed with old ring

     

    Old ring. Image found on Flickr.com
    Old ring. Image found on Flickr.com

    The Question:

    I told my almost fiancé – boyfriend what engagement ring I wanted and he said he couldn’t afford it, I thought he was joking but yesterday he tried to propose to me with his great grandmother’s engagement ring and I lost my temper and told him that it needed to be a new ring, and “not someone else’s used junk.” I thought he did it just to annoy me so I declined the proposal and ruined the ring, but when I found out who’s ring it was I felt kind of bad, he cried and now I think I hurt his feelings. What can I do? Now his mom said it was a tradition and now I don’t know what to do. I think he wants to break up with me now. He has hurt me by doing this to me. Help.

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Almost Doesn’t Count;

    I am seriously no longer wondering why guys become a**holes. If a man is telling you he can’t afford something, it is more than likely that he is telling the truth. If you really wanted to marry the guy and you were truly in love with him it wouldn’t matter if he gave you a ring at all. It’s also very romantic that he would want you to use his great grandmother’s ring and in the future you could have always changed the diamond. Of course his feelings are hurt and honestly I wouldn’t blame him if he did break up with you. Would you want to marry someone who turned your proposal down, and not only turned it down but got upset because the ring you were proposing with wasn’t new? It sounds petty and selfish and childish. If you really love him and you want to fix things, then you truly need to think about your actions and truly apologize and mean it when you say it. Good luck.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: How can I help my sister?

    Sisters. Image found on Flickr.com
    Sisters. Image found on Flickr.com

    The Question: 

    How can I help my sister? My boyfriend and I just got married. My sister is feeling sad because I told her I had to go live with him. She doesn’t want me to leave her. We are  just moving down the street, it’s not real far and I told her she can come over tonight for a sleepover. She said it won’t be the same. She’s also sad because her best friends just moved away and they won’t be back until July. She really misses them. How can I comfort her?

    (Edited)

    My Answer:

    Dear Sister;

    How old is your sister? It sounds to me like she is young if she doesn’t understand that you need to move out to live with your husband. You need to talk to her and explain to her that you will always be there for her and you aren’t going too far. A sleepover is a good idea and it’s a start. Unfortunately you can’t fix her feelings. What you are doing is already a step to comforting her. Unfortunately any type of change is sometimes hard for people and the fact that her best friend moved and her sister is moving out is probably something that is hard for her to understand at the moment. Just continue to talk to her and be there for her, her sadness will soon pass and she will realize that you moving out isn’t all that bad.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

     

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: I love rough sex but I don’t know why

    Rough Sex. Image found on Flickr.com
    Rough Sex. Image found on Flickr.com

    The Question:

    I love rough sex but I don’t know why. I just love it so much! Shoving up against walls, pulling hair, biting, kissing, spanking mmmm.. I love it so much but I have no idea why. The stinging (pain) gets me even more excited. I just don’t get it, my boyfriend complies but doesn’t get it either. Any women out there who love it too?

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Rough Sex;

    There really isn’t anything to get. Some women and men like it more rough than others and some don’t like it at all. This doesn’t mean there is anything wrong, it’s just how you like it and it’s what turns you on. If your boyfriend is willing to comply and he doesn’t mind having rough sex with you then I wouldn’t worry so much about how you feel and enjoy it.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

    Question found on Yahoo.com

     

  • Advice Column: I feel trapped and depressed

    Coming out to my parents. Image found on Flickr.com
    Coming out to my parents. Image found on Flickr.com

    The Question:

    I’m a 14 years old boy. I feel trapped in my own house. I can’t act like myself around my family. Ever since I came out as gay to my parents, my mom has been calling everything I do “gay.” For example, I was listening to my Ariana Grande album and my mom said it was girly and to turn it off. My dad made me change and wouldn’t let me wear skinny jeans to school. They are trying to change everything about me. My mom said “gay is not gods way.” and my sister constantly calls me a fag. They even make fun of my voice. I try to talk deeper but it’s so obviously fake. I can’t help the way I talk 🙁  It’s so hard living like this. Advice please?

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Coming Out;

    It hurts me to hear what you are going through. It’s a hard to come out to ones family and then to be called names and constantly being told what you do is ‘gay’ is just wrong. Try sitting down with your parents again and try to explain to them how you feel. If this still does not work try talking to a counselor at school. Do you have other family that you can talk to? If you do and if they are accepting with who you are then talk to them. See if you can spend more time with them and less time at home until your parents start accepting who you are. It’s not easy for parents to accept their child is gay but it gives them no excuse to treat you the way they are treating you. Talk to your sister and tell her how you feel, what she is doing isn’t nice and she needs to understand that. I hope things get better for you at home, but don’t ever give up on who you truly are. Be proud and stand tall.

    xo

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com