Just another WordPress site

Category: Relationships

  • Advice Column: Is he too clingy?

     

    Advice Column: Is he too clingy? Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: Is he too clingy? Image found on flickr.com

    The Question:

    Is he too clingy? 

    I’ve just started dating this guy, and he’s a really lovely person and wants the best for me at all times. I’m really lucky to have him. The only thing is, he seems really attached to me and we’ve only been dating for about a week. He calls me every morning and every night, tells me he loves me about 30 times a day, and if I don’t text him back in five minutes he’ll ring me over and over and over until I answer. I often just turn my phone off and I don’t look at it for an hour. He wants to spend every day with me, wherever I turn he’s always there. I love being with him, but it’s suffocating! Is he being too clingy, or am I just over-reacting? What can I do?

    (Edited)

    Response:

    Dear Suffocated;

    He obviously really likes you, but I do think that sometimes in a relationship there is something called ‘a little too much’.  All relationships need some form of space. It’s not healthy to be constantly calling you until you answer, that can become very annoying. Have you tried talking to him? Tell him how you feel and see if he backs off a little. I understand the first stages of a relationship are exciting and you usually want to spend as much time with that person as possible, but there is a limit to everything in life. Talk to him and tell him how you feel, if he doesn’t change, you may have to make a hard decision. Eventually what he’s doing will just annoy you more and more, and you will end up disliking him for it. Some women love that kind of attention but every person is different. It’s not a bad thing, but you have to be honest with yourself and with him. If you don’t stop him now it can only get worse.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: My wife cheated on me

    Advice Column: My wife cheated on me

    Advice Column – My Wife cheated on me – Photo from http://www.google.com/images

     

    Advice Column:

    I found out recently that my wife was cheating and emailing old boyfriends (2 different guys); during 10 years of her sneakiness she kept her self in unbelievable shape and always looked hot. After I confronted her she said she was so sorry and she loved me and she made a mistake.The problem is, that now that her sneakiness has stopped she is not worrying about how she looks and is gaining weight. I know this looks so obvious on the surface but what do you think it really means ??

    Is this just another sign of her not being happy with me so she doesn’t have to look sexy any longer.

    My Response:

    Dear Wife’s Too Comfortable;

    First lets start off with that your wife cheated on you and you are still with her. Why are you with her? Don’t you think you deserve someone who doesn’t need to cheat on you to later realize they really want to be with you? Second – her gaining weight and not looking good for you can mean different things. Every women is different, personally I like to stay looking good for me and also because there are other women out there and it feels good to keep your man happy. It could mean that she is no longer cheating and has realized that although she’s happy with you, she now doesn’t have to worry about her appearance. I mean if you stayed with her after she cheated on you, why would you leave her if she gained some weight? Or she can simply just not care anymore. I think you should sit down with your wife and talk to her if you aren’t happy. Looks aren’t everything and I am not saying someone in the relationship is not allowed to gain weight, you should love the other person no matter what. I just find it strange that she kept herself up really nice when cheating on you, but now is just letting herself go. Again – COMMUNICATION is key, talk to your wife and see what she’s feeling. A happy relationship needs communication, if you don’t talk, you will never know the answer to your question.

    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

    (Edited 2010)

  • Advice Column: How do I make a guy like me?

    Advice Column: How do I make a guy like me?

    Advice Column: How do I make a guy like me? Image by: google.com/images

     

    Advice Column:

    I have a crush on this cute guy in my apartment and when ever I see him we just pass each other and he never tries to look at me in the eyes, he just looks down or he just avoids eye contact. I once saw his young brother but I did not ask him his name. Do you think he has a crush on me too? How do I make a guy like me?

    My Response:

    Dear Shyness;

    There isn’t anything specific to making a guy like you. Just be you and you’ll find the right guy to like you as you are. Now in your situation it’s different, it’s not even about making this guy like you, as much as it is just having him talk to you. It’s either two things; either he’s really shy and doesn’t know how to approach girls or he’s simply just not that into you. You can go about this in a few ways.

    Way #1: Approach him the next time you see him in the hall way. Just say hello and start small talk. Maybe even act dumb and ask him a question, like ‘do you know where the nearest target is’?

    Way #2: Bump into him and apologize, see if this will finally open his eyes to looking at you and start a conversation from there.

    Way #3: Talk to his little brother and ask him what’s up with his brother?

    Way #4: Be straight forward, tell him you think he’s cute & you were wondering if he would like to hang out sometime?

    My preferred way to go is Way #1, if he isn’t willing to talk to you and ask your name I would just say hi to him while passing in the hallway and introduce myself to him. It’s up to you, but if he still shows no interest after that, I say let it go and move on. There are plenty of other guys out there that won’t be so shy.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

    (Edited) 2010

  • Advice Column: Threesome friend with benefits

    Advice Column: Threesome friend with benefits

    Advice Column: Threesome friend with benefits. Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: Threesome friend with benefits

    My friend with benefits and my girl friend and I had a threesome and now I’m so jealous I’m crying my eyes out. Please any advice?
    So me and Hank (Fake Name) are really good friends and we hook up when we’re bored. Today we went out and I brought my friend Stacey (Fake Name) along with us because I wanted her to meet him. Hank and I  started hooking up and I’m like oh look Stacey feels left out lets let her join! He said okay.  So we did and Hank and Stacey were having sex and I was so f’en [sic] jealous but I played it off and pretended I was tired. Stacey came up to me afterwards and apologized and I was like whatever its cool you know. So now I don’t know what to do. Hank and I are just friends with benefits but everyone knows we kind of like each other but I’m so jealous I cried! Even Hank asked me whats wrong because I was obviously annoyed and just quiet afterwards. Has anyone ever been in a situation like this? What now? Help….

    (Edited)

    ~Friend with Benefits

    My Response:

    Dear Friends with Benefits;

    It is my opinion that if you care about someone, never do a threesome, there is always someone in that equation that gets hurt. What is done is done, if your friend knows you like this guy just make sure you don’t have any more threesomes with her and your guy. If you really like this guy and you think he has feelings for you, then you need to talk to him. If you don’t talk to him then chances are he will just stay comfortable in this “friends with benefits” routine you guys have going on. Friends with benefits doesn’t work once someone starts having feelings for the other person. You need to tell him how you feel and go from there. If he doesn’t feel the same way then you have to stop sleeping with him. Sleeping with him is only going to make your feelings stronger for him and you are only going to get hurt. Remember communication is key in any relationship If he’s really your friend then he should be honest with you on how he feels.
    Good luck.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found my question on Answers.Yahoo.com (2011)

  • Advice Column: Is my Uncle cheating on my Auntie?

    Advice Column: Is my Uncle cheating on my Auntie?

    Advice Column: Is my Uncle cheating on my Auntie? – Image found on google.com/images

     Advice Column: Is my Uncle cheating on my Auntie?

    I was playing hide and seek with my cousin and hiding behind a sofa when my uncle came to sit down not knowing I was there. He took his phone out and started texting someone. I could only see a little bit of the text and I saw words such as GIRLFRIEND and GORGEOUS. When my cousin suddenly walked in the room he quickly hid his phone. Please help! What should I do?

    Additional Details:
    I’m 14 and was made to play hide and seek with my 4 year old cousin by parents….

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Hide & Seek;

    This is a hard position to be in, but you don’t necessarily know he is cheating on your aunt and you do not want to stir up problems if there really isn’t any. This is between your aunt and uncle and I would just leave it alone. If you feel that you can’t hold it in and it is really bothering you then talk to your parents about what you saw. Then let them take it from there. You are too young to be worrying about stuff like this. Good luck!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com (2011)

  • Advice Column: Wife wants to sleep with another woman

    Advice Column: Wife wants to sleep with another woman. Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: Wife wants to sleep with another woman

    Dear Kristin Nicole

    My wife told me that she has been having feelings for a co-worker of hers, at first I was conflicted because I thought she meant a guy but then she told me that it was another woman. I’m still conflicted with this because we have known each other for 10 years and she has never gave off that she likes other women. She told me that this other woman wants to sleep with her and she wouldn’t mind if I watched, but I don’t know what to think about this. Most men would love for their wives to sleep with another woman and be able to watch, but if she ends up wanting to sleep with other woman all the time, what do I do? She says I can’t join them, I can only watch. Do I let her sleep with this other woman or not?
    ~Husband

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Husband;

    I think you are right, I think most men would be thrilled to watch their wife or girlfriend be with another woman, but I understand your concern in regards to her wanting to do this more than once. Talk to your wife and ask her what has brought this on? Is this just a one time thing to get out of her system, out of curiosity? You need to think about this and you need to really be sure that you will be okay with your wife sleeping with another woman. Perhaps your wife is in the closet and isn’t sure which side of the bed she really wants to sleep on. This is a tough decision and you need to truly be okay with what your wife is asking. Communicate with your wife your concerns and make it clear that if you are okay with this, it can only happen once. Personally, I don’t think a man or woman should want to sleep with any other person and I think this is something she should have gotten out of her system before you got married but the fact that you have known her for so long and she has never done anything like this makes it seem like she is either bored or has always been curious of the same sex. Talk to your wife and make the decision together.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Advice Column: Affair with a married man

    Advice Column: Affair with a married man – Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: Affair with a married man

    I’m a 17 year old girl, who recently started talking to a 23 year old guy from across the country. He told me straight up that he has two baby boys, which didn’t bother me because we weren’t anything serious. Well we texted all the time and talked on the phone, but when he oddly kept refusing to add me on Facebook I demanded to know why. He admitted to being in a loveless, miserable marriage. They’ve been married for four years and he’s slept with a few other women. He suspects her of cheating on him while he was stationed in Korea and doesn’t think that his oldest son is really his. I’m a very understanding person and continued talking to him despite his personal life. But now it’s at the point where he says he has too big of a heart to leave his wife and kids, and I don’t know what to do. I like him but knowing he sits out in his car every night after work to call me while his wife is inside sleeping just doesn’t feel right. It’s too much! He’s an amazing guy and although I don’t think what he’s doing is right, I also feel like I shouldn’t play along. It just kills me because I know how unhappy and utterly miserable he is with her. What should I do?
    ~17

    My Response:

    Dear 17;

    I think you already know the answer to your question and you just need for someone else to confirm what you have already been thinking and feeling. You stated; “and though I don’t think what he’s doing is right, I also feel like I shouldn’t play along.” Do you need any other answer besides that one? The guy can’t be too good of a guy if he’s cheating on his wife constantly and lying to her. He doesn’t live close to you and all you have is a phone relationship. You are much too young to be worrying about a guy with so many problems. You need to be having fun and start dating guys more your age. Enjoy your life and stop worrying about a guy who is cheating on his wife and his family with other women and sneaking off at night to talk to you. Close the door to this relationship and move on.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com (2011)

  • Advice Column: I want a sex toy

    Advice Column: I want a sex toy. Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: I want a sex toy

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year and I want to spice it up in the bedroom by buying a sex toy but I am not sure if my boyfriend will really go for it. In the past when friends have been talking about it, he has commented that a woman doesn’t need a sex toy if the man is doing his job right. It’s not because he can’t satisfy me but I think it would be fun to spice things up a bit, plus it doesn’t hurt to have that fun hanging around when my boyfriend isn’t home. Should I buy one and surprise him or talk to him about it first?
    ~Sex Toy

    My Response:

    Dear Sex Toy;

    There is nothing wrong with spicing it up in the bedroom and I think that you have been with your boyfriend long enough for him to know how you are in the bedroom. Talk to your boyfriend and tell him that you want to spice things up in the bedroom and you think a toy would be a lot of fun. If he is hesitant and starts saying he should be enough for you, explain to him that he is enough for you and that the toy can just add some more fun to the bedroom. If that doesn’t work then you can either forget about it or take the chance and surprise him in the bedroom with one. If that doesn’t work, keep the toy around for when he’s not home. If he really loves you, there shouldn’t be a problem with him wanting to spice things up a bit. Have fun and get a drink in him before bringing it out, this way he’ll be a little more relaxed. Good luck!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    (2011)

  • Advice Column: Bad kisser but good in bed

    Advice Column: Bad kisser but good in bedDear Kristin Nicole;

    My boyfriend “Jason” and I, have been together for over a year and most of that we were long distance. As in every relationship, he was amazing at the beginning, and he still is as a boyfriend – he treats me well, he never lets me pay, he gives me compliments every single day and doesn’t complain about me at all, but there are certain things that make me wonder whether I want to be with him long-term. He doesn’t have a higher education which is fine with me, but he still doesn’t have a clue what he wants to do in the future. He has a part-time job and lives with his parents (he will be 24 soon). I gave him a few ideas what he could do and he liked those jobs, but he would have to undertake some training which he isn’t very keen on doing. I feel like he thinks he is still a teenager and has his money just for fun (yes, after 7 years out of high-school he hasn’t saved much). Also, although he treats me well, he isn’t the nicest person, he shouts at his parents, calls him mum ‘bitch’, tweets random people to ‘fuck off’, simply he is a bit aggressive. Lastly, we doesn’t share the same sense of humor and he is a bad kisser. Good in bed, but a bad kisser.

    I don’t want to leave him because I don’t want to hurt him and he gives me security, but I am young, I shouldn’t worry about finding another boyfriend.

    Thanks for your time and help 🙂
    ~”Katie”

    Names have been changed for privacy purposes. 

    My Response:

    Dear Katie;

    It sounds to me like you are just settling to be with this guy. He’s turning 24 soon and it sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do. You pretty much summed up reasons why not to be with him, can you think of any reasons why you should be with him? You have to think about your future, do you see yourself with a man like this? Not having an education isn’t the worst thing, and like you said it isn’t a big deal, but the fact that he doesn’t want to try and work is a totally different situation. He needs to figure out what he wants to do in life, what career, and what path he plans on taking, because if everything in life is a negative now, imagine how it will be later down the road.

    You stated; “lastly we don’t share the same sense of humor and he is a bad kisser. Good in bed, but a bad kisser.” There are so many other people out there who you will have things in common with. Being with someone and sharing things you both like is a big thing to have in a relationship. If you feel that you don’t share the same humor or personality, that can be a problem. As for being a bad kisser, you can always try to train him and tell him how you like it. You are young and you have so much time to find someone that you are more compatible with. Don’t waste time on a boy (and I say boy because he hasn’t grown up yet); when there is probably something better waiting for you out there. If you truly love him, truly madly, deeply can see yourself spending the rest of your life with him, then sit with him and tell him how you feel, try to get him motivated into changing his life around. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

     

  • Advice Column: Sexual Relationship with…

    Advice Column: Sexual Relationship with… – Image found on Google.com/Images

    Advice Column: Sexual Relationship with….

    My husband left me because he said he needed space and time for himself and wants to be free. I pretended to let him go because when we were together I suffocated him by being clingy and needy. We decided to remain ‘Friends with Benefits’ and act like before except we don’t live together anymore. [sic].

    I have two conflicting emotions on this:

    1. I don’t want to lose him completely and I’m happy he is still attracted to me and 2. It kills me that he doesn’t stay over. He said; “at least not yet because we have to get used to our ‘NEW’ set-up,” but it kills me more that I don’t have a husband anymore. He is having fun being free and all, while I cannot stop thinking about what it could’ve been for us. What should I do?

    My Response:

    Dear Friends with Benefits;

    Your husband left because he needed space, yet he still comes back just to have sex. He is having his cake and eating it too (like that the saying goes). You need to stop and communicate with your husband, either he is fully committed to this marriage or he is not, but he can’t keep coming around just to sleep with you and going back to his own place whenever he wants to. Do you know what he is doing when he’s not with you? Have you spoken about your relationship at all since the split? Is he dating other women? These are all questions you should be asking. Don’t let him just use you for sex, even if you enjoy it. If what you want is your husband back and you have realized you were clingy before and he doesn’t like that then you both need to work on your issues but it doesn’t mean that he needs to move out in order to fix things. In a marriage there is no break, there is no get my own place and there is no “Friends with Benefits”. You are MARRIED, you are his WIFE, not his Friend! Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. Get your marriage back on track and stop acting as if you were just dating.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com (2011)