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Category: Relationships

  • Did you ever think of me?!?

    Did You Ever Think Of ME?

    Did you ever stop and think of me
    Or did you just pretend I never existed?
    Closed that door
    made a lie about how you never loved me anymore
    Left me standing there with my heart on my sleeve
    wondering what I did wrong
    Wondering how I can fix something that didn’t exist.

    I wrote you a letter
    you never wrote back
    later i found out you held it in your sack.
    Why didn’t you say anything to me
    why did you hide who you were
    don’t you know i would have loved you anyway

    Standing there all alone
    I cried
    Wondering why you couldn’t love me
    And with tears in my eyes I pulled out that paper and pen
    started to write all the things you didn’t want to feel
    But I told you the truth
    and the truth always hurts
    look in the mirror and see who you are
    stop hiding
    I’m right here.

    No words can express the pain you caused me
    I think that’s when I started shutting people out
    I started to hide behind a wall
    because behind the wall no one can see
    all the pain you truly caused me.

    I pulled out that paper and pen
    started to write all the things you didn’t want to hear
    But I told you the truth
    and the truth always hurts
    look in the mirror and see who you are
    stop hiding
    I’m right here.

    Now it’s too late
    you’re already gone
    Why couldn’t you see the truth
    that no matter who you were
    I would always love you.
    Why couldn’t you stop hiding?
    I was right here…

    © written by: kristin nicole – February 19, 2010 – Friday

    ~ This was written about someone that used to be in my life. They passed away without ever being able to talk things out. Life is too short, when you feel something let the person you love know because you never know when they’ll be gone. If I haven’t said it enough, I love you!~

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Marriage before Sex

    Marriage before Sex

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I knew someone for a short time , but I’m into him as well as he is into me. I like him so much but I’m a very religious person and I asked him if he has had sex before, he said yes, and this is a big issue for me and I don’t like it.

    I respect the fact that he was very honest with me and that he started to get close to my religion in the short time we have known each other, but I’m afraid for the following issues:

    First, he was having sex not making love, by this I mean he was not in a relationship, he just had sex with those girls, without actually loving them. He did it with these girls, girls that will just have sex with any man, and I don’t like this mentality. I can’t accept it easily!

    Second, I’m afraid that I’ve never done it before, so I may not be as good as those girls he slept with before. He might miss these previous relationships after our marriage.

    The third issue, is that my breast are very small, he may not like it and as you know I will not make love to him before we get married. (This is according to my religion). So I’m afraid that he won’t like it.

    What do you think about these issues? I’ll speak to him about it but I need your opinion first .. & .. thank you in advance Kristin
    (Revised by: Kristin Nicole)

    ~ Marriage before Sex

    My Response:

    Dear Marriage before Sex;

    I understand that in your religion you have to wait to be married before having sex, if you are thinking of being with someone that does not have those same beliefs you need to accept their past. Just because he slept with other women before you does not mean that he will think differently of you. You need to be happy with who you are and what you have, don’t worry about having small breast or the fact that you have not had sex. If he is with you then he already finds you attractive. You do need to make sure that he understands your beliefs and that you are not going to have sex with him unless you are married. If he is okay with that and really cares for you then the rest will go from there. You can not judge someone for their actions and their beliefs because they are different than yours, if he is a good man and he treats you right, then you need to leave his past in the past. If you feel that you cannot get over the fact that he has slept with other women then you need to really think about being with him, because you do not want to hold that against him. It is very natural now a days for a man and a woman to have sex and not make love, it doesn’t make it right or wrong but it happens. You have to look past that if you want to have a relationship with him, and he will need to respect you for your beliefs as well. Remember to always love yourself, don’t feel insecure about your body, we are born with what we have for a reason and the person we are with will love us for who we are and how we look.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • 5 Romantic Proposal Ideas

    Love You

    5 Romantic Proposal Ideas

    When you finally feel in your heart that the person you are with is the person you want to share the rest of your life with, it’s important to make that one lasting memory of proposing to her last a life time…

    Here are five romantic ideas on how to propose to your girlfriend:

    5. Vacation Getaway – Take a romantic vacation getaway, either to a remote location, big city or a place you both like to travel to often. Most places will accommodate you if you ask them to. For example; if you are going to a remote location like a private beach, ask the hotel if you can light some candles down the pathway to where you want to propose, maybe have some flowers and champagne waiting for you at the end of the walk way. You can also set up something nice in the hotel room (get a nice view so that it makes it all the more beautiful). In a big city, you can pick any beautiful area in the city to propose to and if you go to a place you normally travel to it will definitely be unexpected, try to find a spot that you can always go back to.

    4. Beach / Lake View – If you live near the beach, sunset is the best time to propose… well that’s my opinion but picture it – Sunset, flowers, and proposal – WOW. If you don’t live near a beach you can propose by a beautiful Lake setting, anything near the water is absolutely beautiful and breathtaking.

    3. Park or Historic Area – If you have beautiful parks in your area, you can go on a walking trail, try to have someone help you set up a setting so when you reach the trail it’s set up for a surprise. If you go to a historic area, I’m sure they will help you out and you can whisk your girlfriend away to a memory she’ll never forget.

    2. Family and Friend Setting – If your girlfriend likes the attention and you are absolutely sure she is going to say yes, then surprise her in front of her family and friends. She will love the surprise and the attention.

    1. Intimate Private Moment – Home settings can be just as romantic. If you cannot afford to go on a vacation or go somewhere special your girlfriend is not going to care, the most important part is that you try to make it as romantic as possible. You can set candles up all over your house, add some nice music, champagne and you. There is nothing more romantic than a private setting.

    There are millions of ways you can propose to your girlfriend, and at the end of the day even the not so planned proposals are romantic in their own way. The most important thing to remember is that you love each other, in the end nothing else matters.

    Happy engagement….

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Valentine’s Poem – My dearest Valentine

    My Dearest Valentine

    Every year we bring out the flowers and chocolate, the cards and the gifts. We express to those we love, just how much we love them. If you are in a new relationship we show how much we care, and if you are just going on a date to not be alone on Valentine, we show companionship. Everyone loves to be Loved on Valentine’s Day, I wrote a poem about how I feel and I wanted to share it with you.

    Happy Valentine’s Day – If you are with someone you love – Enjoy this day and share the love you have with each other. If you are alone – Have hope and never give up, because one day you will feel loved by that special someone.

    My Dearest Valentine

    Today because it’s Valentine’s I tell you how I feel
    I tell you how much I love you and how our love is real.
    I tell you all the things that I hold in all year long
    I don’t know why I wait so long to express my love.
    I should tell you every day the feelings I hold inside
    All the words I feel but never say
    All the love I feel but never display
    Today because it’s Valentine’s I tell you how I feel
    I want you to know that I love you
    And that our love is real
    I want to tell you how you make me feel
    The butterflies inside
    How every time I look at you my feelings grow inside
    When you kiss me I never want to let you go
    When you hold me I feel safe
    When I need you, I know I can count on you
    You aren’t just my love
    You’re my best friend
    Today and always you will be
    My dearest Valentine.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    ~ I love you Tony with all my heart and I look forward to many more Valentine’s Days together.~

    © 2012: Written by: Kristin Nicole 02/13/12

  • 5 Ideas for Valentine’s Day

    Love

    5 Ideas for Valentine’s Day

    Each year we think about things we can do on Valentine’s day. Some of us with our boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife and others who are single and can’t stand all the happy go lucky people who are getting ready to celebrate this holiday that was invented called Valentine’s Day.

    I have come up with 5 ideas for couples to do on Valentine’s day and 5 ideas for those who are single.

    ~ Enjoy your night, it doesn’t have to cost you a fortune to be romantic, and have a nice night, just be inventive and be with that person you love….

    5 Ideas for Couples:

    5. Stay in and light up some candles, fresh flowers, message oils and you have your own private spa…. This spa should definitely lead to a ‘happy ending’.

    4. Order Out – who says you have to get home from work and start cooking a gourmet meal? Order your favorite dish, place it on some nice plates, pop open the champagne or wine and BAM! Romantic dinner for two that took you 2 minutes to prepare.

    3. Some people like to go out to dinner, so GO OUT! Make reservations, it doesn’t have to be the most known place, try picking a quiet, little place no one really knows about, this way you get seated right away and it feels a little more intimate than a big franchise restaurant.

    2. Celebrate Valentine’s Day the weekend before. If you want to go out and not worry about having to wake up the next morning for work, celebrate it the weekend before. There isn’t a law that says you can’t. Go out to dinner on Saturday, get a few drinks, and talk the night away. Then head back home for some extra ‘cuddling’.

    1. Plan a weekend vacation for Valentine’s. My boyfriend and I always do a mini vacation to Orlando and we go to Universal and Islands of Adventure. You can say it’s become a tradition of ours. We love it, during the day we get to act like kids and go on roller coasters and at night we become grown ups and we go out to dinner and have some drinks.

    5 Ideas for those who are single:

    5. Girls Night – If you have any single friends, plan a girls night – Order in your favorite dish (pizza, sushi etc). Rent a comedy movie and enjoy your night.

    4. Pamper Yourself – While others are going out to dinner and being all lovey dovey, you can be enjoying a day at the spa. Take the day off from work or go after work. Get a massage and just relax.

    3. Wine it up…. Some of us just like to feel sorry for ourselves. So if that’s what you like to do, there is nothing wrong with that. Open up a bottle of wine, grab a girly movie to watch and sip away…..This is the one time of year that we’ll forgive you for feeling down.

    2. Blind Date? Okay so I’m not really one for blind dates, but I’ve heard some good stories. If you don’t want to be alone, have a friend fix you up. If you can… try to take a peak at that picture before you make your decision.

    1. Do Nothing – Valentine’s lands on a Tuesday this year, so go to work, and finish your day off like you normally would.

    Whether you are with someone or not, I hope you have a beautiful Valentine’s Day.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • We bought a house but I’m not In Love Anymore…

    I'm not in Love Anymore…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I’m 27. I’ve been with my girlfriend for a little over 3 years and we recently bought a house together, last year in fact. I feel like I don’t really love her anymore. not in that way at least. she’s a great person but she’s more like a best friend then my girlfriend. we don’t really have an intimate relationship. when I met her she was a virgin so nothing really happened for a while which is fine with me. but I think because we waited so long it killed those types of feelings for me. I tried to fight through it but it didn’t work and now I’m stuck in this position. I know life is short and I shouldn’t waste my time or hers if I’m not happy, I just don’t know how to go about it. thank you so much for listening I really do appreciate it.

    ~ Confused

    My Response:

    Dear Confused;

    I don’t have to tell you that it would have been wise to really think about buying a home with someone if you were already feeling that you didn’t love her anymore. What’s done is done, now you have to think about the options you have to take. You are still young, don’t settle just because you just bought a house with your girlfriend, if you aren’t in love, you aren’t in love, and it isn’t fair to yourself or her you keep living a lie. The worst thing that can happen is that you lose your home and go into foreclosure, your credit gets messed up for a few years and you rebuild it. But let’s try to avoid that…. First you need to sit down with your girlfriend and really try to explain to her that you don’t want to hurt her but you are just not in love with her anymore. At the end of the day, those words are going to sting right through her. I’m not going to lie, it’s going to hurt her but at the end of the day it’s for the best. After talking to her you need to figure out what you want to do with the house. Did you go into the house 50/50 or did you buy the house alone? If you bought the house alone, then you have the rights to the house and you need to let her know that she needs to move out. Give her a deadline because if you don’t, sometimes the person will try to linger in order to rekindle the relationship. If you went into the house 50/50 you have two choices, either you buy her out or she buys you out in order to keep the house, or you try to sell it. Since the economy still isn’t doing too good and you just bought the house you might not be able to sell it, or if you do you might have to take the lose and move on. If you don’t want to sell, which I recommend you don’t, and hold on to the house until you can make some money off of it, then you can rent it out where the rent can cover the mortgage and taxes etc, so that neither of you really have to worry about paying for the house. I would definitely put away at least two to three months just in case you can’t rent it out. I know this is a lot to handle on top of breaking up but it’s something you need to think about. Be honest with yourself and your girlfriend and tell her how you feel. It is better to do things now then later down the road…..
    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • 5 ways to communicate better

    Communication is Key

    Relationships can be difficult. They can include a boyfriend and girlfriend, husband and wife, friendship or even a relationship between you and a family member. No one ever said relationships were easy, so how do we try to fix a relationship we feel is irresolvable? The number one rule to having a healthy relationship is simple but you have to be willing to meet the person half way. Are you ready to hear what it is? Communication! That’s right; it’s something we learn from when we were born. We learn to talk and ask our parents for things that we want; this is the first step into communicating your feelings. After that it should be a breeze, right? Many people do not know how to communicate properly, either they don’t know how to speak to others without being rude, they might be too shy to speak, or they might feel scared to tell the person they love how they really feel.

    Have you ever tried telling someone how you feel, only to find yourself speechless? This is normal, many people have felt this way and sometimes not saying anything at all, is worse than actually coming out with how you feel. If you don’t talk about your feelings, it is only going to eat away at you, and eventually it will only lead into an outburst of frustration, which will later lead into a fight. There are all types of ways to communicate your feelings; I have listed the top five ways I found it easier for me to communicate.

    Five ways to communicate your feelings:

    5. Write a letter or a note. – Don’t email the person or text; this is a little more impersonal. Give the letter to the person face to face so that they can read it in front of you, you can then later discuss what you are feeling, but the letter will at least break the ice with bringing out what you have been feeling inside. Trust me this works (this is actually how I started communicating better; it gave me the courage to really say what I felt on paper.)

    4. Choose the right time and place. – Sometimes we are scared the person we are talking to might retaliate and start screaming or acting a little crazy, so choose the right time and place to talk about your feelings. Don’t ever try talking to someone when they are having a bad day, they aren’t in their right state of mind and this may through them off, they might not understand where you are coming from because they are focused on their own problems at the moment. So make sure to choose the right time to talk. Choosing the right place can be essential too, if you want to make sure to keep things quiet, pick a place to talk where they can‘t get too loud with you. This will help keep both emotions inside and talk like two normal people.

    3. Think before you speak. – Sometimes we want to talk about how we feel right there in the moment, but this may lead into fighting, because we might just say things we really don’t mean. In the heat of the moment we are all guilty of saying things we don’t really mean, or we do mean them, but it’s just not the right way to say it. Before talking to someone, try going over in your head what you want to say, cool off a bit and then sit down calmly to talk about what you are feeling.

    2. Listen to the other person. – Sometimes we are scared to open up when the other person is talking to us. Listen to what that person has to say, if they are talking to you openly and telling you how they feel then push away the fear of talking back, take a deep breath and answer them back. More than likely it was just as hard for them to tell you how they felt, so don’t be scared to return the favor.

    1. Stop being scared about what the other person may be thinking and DO YOU. – What do I mean by ‘DO YOU’, well at the end of the day the only person who is going to be there for you, is YOU. Stop being scared to open up and tell the person how you feel. The worse thing that can happen is that it leads into an argument, but so what. We sometimes have to argue in order to figure out a way to fix things. If we never argued in the world, then life would be too boring.

    We can change the world with total communication ~Sharon Sullivan

    When communicating to someone how you feels starts to stress you out, stop and breath a for a second and remember that communicating is the only way to fix what you are feeling inside.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • I’m pregnant and my husband doesn’t come home…

    The Question:

    Dear kristin nicole;

    I have read some on the stories and comments you gave to other women, and I’m in the same kind of boat and I don’t know what to believe or do. So here is my story please help.

    Me and my husband have been married for 9 months, still newlyweds but have lots of problems. We or I should say I did rush into due to a baby on the way and I loved him and he loved me. So we got married. It was great we were happy. He has a kid from a previous relationship and I do to, but he was great with my daughter, I mean great. That’s her daddy, and especially since her father is out of the picture. We lost the baby I was pregnant with 2 weeks after the wedding. We were both sad. We both want a baby and have been trying since then, but we argue all the time. He says he has no say so in anything the house, my daughter nothing. I just disagree on something and he doesn’t understand. The arguing has got bad over little things. So much that his son doesn’t want to come here anymore. We are both tired of it, he’s even said he wanted a divorce. So to my big problem I found out in November we where pregnant I was so excited because we had been trying and praying, but he didn’t seem too happy. We started arguing about baby names he started saying he had no say in this either, that I’m always downing him and acting different with his son, which is not true. I speak my opinion and I disagree. I do agree I am different with his son and my daughter and I’m sorry for that. For the last past two weeks its been hell fighting all the time. He was getting laid off from his job and I tried talking to him, it wasn’t good enough. He said I act as if I could care less, but I tried talk to him so two weeks ago after a fight about me not caring he left for work and hasn’t come back. His story is he has a new job and there working out of town, he will be home this day. When they day comes its something else his car broke he cant make it. I’ve accused him of cheating being with someone else and he said he’s not with anyone else that he is just working and that he is tired of me accusing him all the time. When I try to talk to him about what I feel and I love him, he avoids my questions or when I ask when are you coming home he gives me a day and it never happens. He wasn’t even here for Christmas and that made me really mad and I went off on him and told him to just come get his stuff I wanted a divorce because I cant take his lying and him not begin here especially with me three months pregnant with his baby, it hurt bad and I don’t know what to. I love him and I want us to be a family, my daughter loves him and miss I him. I don’t believe he’s working out of town. He said he was working today but he always has his son and he told me he was taking him to work with him. That’s BS because you don’t take a 5 year old to your so called new job especially when you say you are building apts. He came home Thursday wanting sex and got some more clothes said he would be back Saturday and like always he came up with an excuse. I do not know what to do. I need help… why would he just walk away after knocking me up and after me telling him we can work on this, that we have a baby on the way and that I don’t want to go down this road. He accuses me of sleeping with people but I love him to much to do that. Bills are behind because of his actions and I just need some advice. Please I don’t want to lose him.

    ~Desperate

    My Response:

    Dear Desperate;

    Sometimes men get scared, and having a child together is a big deal. He may be feeling confused since you have been arguing lately. Try sitting down with him and talking to him. Explain to him how you feel, that you love him and you don’t want to be arguing all the time. You want to make sure he is happy in your marriage. You can try telling him how you feel but if he’s not willing to try, there is nothing you can do. The fact that you are suspicious of him cheating on you and that he doesn’t show up sometimes is not a good sign. You need to try and think of you and your baby at this point, is this type of relationship you want to show your child? Is the type of man you truly want for yourself? I know it’s not easy and you are definitely in a hard position but you have to think about your unborn child now. The most important thing to do is to take care of yourself. If you have family you can stay with, try getting your bills paid and try making a life for you and your child. It sounds to me like you can do better then this guy…. If he was a real man he would stand up and try to make things work with you. If he truly loves you he will at least TRY to make it work.

    I hope I could help. I hope your New Year gets better in time.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Is Romance Overrated?!?

    Romance By Definition:

    a. A love affair.
    b. Ardent emotional attachment or involvement between people; love: They kept the romance alive in their marriage for 35 years.
    c. A strong, sometimes short-lived attachment, fascination, or enthusiasm for something: a childhood romance with the sea.

    Is it overrated?!?

    As a young girl, you watch all these movies that make you wonder, is Love really out there?!? Is there really that guy out there that will romance me and whisk me away into a fairytale ending?!? Unfortunately Life doesn’t work that way. There really is no Prince Charming to whisk you away into a castle, and you don’t become a princess over night. However, love is out there, that I do believe. But is Romance overrated?!? Do we expect men to ROMANCE us to wine and dine us until we simply just fall into there laps, giving them all our attention and love, Or do we just want Romance because that’s what the world tells us we want?!?

    My thoughts

    I think every girl wants romance, it doesn’t matter if that movie isn’t real, it just matters that a guy would try to make a night romantic, it just melts a girls heart. It shows how much the man cares or loves the women, and in every aspect in the girls heart, it tells her “He really does care”. To go out of his way, and make this a special night just for me?!? What more can a girl ask for?!?

    There are some men out there that love to be romantic and constantly romance their women. However, there is that guy that just doesn’t see a point to romancing their women if they already have her. It’s not something you do to catch the girl, it’s something you do to show how much you love her, to show that you care enough to think about doing something so unexpected. I wouldn’t want romance all the time, it would kill the idea of being surprised every once in a while. But in a dark room, where your thoughts lie, you always dream about that one night, when the guy will come to romance you in ways you’ve never known.

    Examples

    The intimate setting of rose petals, candles, some massage oils, strawberries and campaign. (Something simple, that I’m sure most women would love).

    I once heard a story about a proposal, it was so cute:

    The story:

    The girl got home from work to find a note from her boyfriend, it said pack 2 over night clothes for day and night and at 5pm a limo will be showing up to pick you up to take you to the airport. Don’t worry about where I’m taking you, just get ready. At 5pm sharp, there was a knock on the door, and the limo driver stood there with one single rose in his hand. He handed it to her and on the rose read a note: “From the moment I fell in love with you, I knew you were the one”. The limo driver took her bags and headed to the airport. At the airport she stood in the check in line and the lady at the counter logged her in and gave her another single rose. The girl looked around wondering how she knew who she was. There was another note “With every day that passes my love for you grows”. She got to the plane and to her surprise she was sitting first class. She boarded the plane to New York, and the flight attendant came up to her and handed her another single rose. Now she was freaking out. She asked if she knew her boyfriend, and the flight attendant just said no, she was just told to give this rose the person sitting in Row A Seat 2. Another note…”I know you are freaking out, but don’t, I’ll see you soon”. She landed in New York and a limo driver was waiting with her name, he took her bags and handed her another single rose with another note that read “I’ll see you soon”. She was starting to get nervous, what could all this mean. She didn’t think he would be proposing considering they had talked about it, but it just didn’t seem as if he was ready any time soon, so this had to be something different, right?!? The limo driver took her to Central Park, and told her to get on that carriage there. She asked the man if he knew her boyfriend and he said please hop on and I’ll take you to him. He handed her a single rose and a note that read “I’ve never known anyone like you, smart, funny, sexy, my best friend”. Has she rode her way through Central Park she saw candles lighting up the sidewalk and at the end of it was her boyfriend with a dozen Lilly’s and roses, as she walked up to him he got down on one knee, her hands began to shake because she couldn’t believe what was happening, he opened the box and told her how much he loved her, he couldn’t see himself with any other women, she was his best friend and he wanted her to be his wife. “Will you marry me”? With tears in her eyes she said YES!

    Now that’s a Romantic Proposal!

    So is Romance Overrated?!? Or is it just something we want to have?

    What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~ by Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

    When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.
    ~ by Elizabeth Bowen (1899-1973) ~

    xo
    kristin nicole

  • My husband is not romantic, is it unrealistic to ask him to be more romantic?

    The Question:

    My husband is not romantic, is it unrealistic to ask him to be more romantic?

    For example, we rarely do gift exchange but I would like to, and I told my husband it would be nice if he could sometimes buy me presents. I don’t care about material things, but I just think it’s a nice gesture to do for your wife/husband. And whenever we go out together, I am always the one who initiates, but I want him to initiate too. I feel like I’m always the one forcing him, or making him spend time with me.

    Is it fair for me to ask such things of him?

    ~Asking for Too Much

    My Response:

    Dear Asking for Too Much;

    I am assuming your husband didn’t stop being romantic from one day to the next, you probably already knew he was like this before you married him. With that said, it doesn’t mean that it’s too much to ask for. You have to talk to your husband, communicate to him how you feel and that you understand he isn’t romantic but it would be nice for him to make a little more effort when it came to gifts and going out for dinner. I think it’s important to get each other gifts especially during special occasions, it doesn’t have to be expensive just a little something to show you care. It makes a person feel good about their relationship when you get little surprises, like flowers on a Wednesday. Talk to your husband, tell him how you feel and try to surprise him every once in a while too. 😉

    Good luck
    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com