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Category: Relationships

  • My boyfriend cheated on me with another Man…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    My boyfriend and I were together for 3 years and I just found out that last summer he slept with another man. He says he is not homosexual or bisexual that he was drunk and it just happened that one time, but I don’t know what to believe. How drunk can you be to not only cheat, but to cheat with a man? (the same sex). I’m so confused right now, I love him but I feel not only betrayed and lied to, but I feel like he isn’t telling himself the truth. What if he really is homosexual? Do I break up with him or do I believe him and forgive him?

    ~Same Sex

    My Response:

    Dear Same Sex;

    I think there are definitely some unresolved emotions that your boyfriend might be trying to hide. Let’s start with the fact he cheated on you and leave out the part that it was with another man. He Cheated on YOU! Enough said….At the end of the day, drunk or not he cheated on you. You were in a relationship for two years and he has lied about it for the past year. How do you know this was the only time he cheated on you let alone with another man? Now going back to the fact that not only did he cheat on you, but he cheated on you with another man is just confusing in itself. If he doesn’t understand it, then don’t beat yourself up trying to understand it yourself. He is obviously confused or hiding feelings of homosexuality that he doesn’t want to share. Some may say, it was just a one time fling and he was really drunk, but others may say he is homosexual or bisexual and he just doesn’t know how to come to terms with it. I would sit down and talk to him, but more than likely he is going to become defensive and say that he isn’t homosexual and that it was just a drunken mistake. The facts are he cheated on you, and it was with another man. Do you want to stay with a guy that doesn’t know what he wants? You deserve a man that won’t cheat on you and a man that isn’t confused about his sexuality. I know it’s hard because you have been together for 3 years, but it’s better to find this out now than down the road when you are married with children. Move on and find yourself a real man!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • I found my boyfriend with his ex

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I was at school (college) and I left a little early and headed to my boyfriend’s house to surprise him. When I got there, I was the one surprised to find his ex-girlfriend’s car parked in the drive way. When I knocked on the door he told me they were just discussing a few things but he wouldn’t let me in. He then proceeded to tell me that nothing was going on and that he would call me later. Is he cheating on me with his ex-girlfriend? If nothing is going on then why not let me in the house? She shouldn’t be there to begin with, do I wait to see what he has to say or should I just move on? We have been together for 6 months and I really care for him but I don’t know what to think about this. Please Help.

    ~Confused

    My Response:

    Dear Confused;

    Any time an EX is near it is never good. There is no reason for her to be in his house let alone push you away and tell you that he will call you later. I have been in situations where I didn’t do what I should have at the time. You need to sit down with your boyfriend and ask him face to face what is going on. Talk to him and tell him that you do not feel comfortable with his ex-girlfriend in his house, let alone hanging out at all. There is no reason for her to be at your boyfriend’s house. This is only causing trouble where there wasn’t any. I would talk to your boyfriend and see what is going on, but having experience with a similar situation, you are better cutting your ties now and finding a man who isn’t confused as to which girl he really wants to be with. If he cared for you as much as you care for him, he wouldn’t have had his girlfriend in his house alone, and he wouldn’t have sent you off to call you later and stay with her. Find a real man and move on.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Am I impatient or should I divorce?

    The Question:

    I know that I’ve been very lucky. I sold my business a few years ago and have a nice sales job. I’m in my mid 40’s. My family and I live in the Northeast and we were never really affected with the housing bubble or anything. We have a nice nest egg in the bank and, at this point, we could sell our house and pay cash for a condo in Florida or South Carolina near the beach. But my wife doesn’t want to because she’s close to her family up here. Our kids are grown and I’m ready for a change. It’s really creating a rift between the wife and I but I’m not looking forward to another winter here. Please, any advice. I think, in the old days, I could just say “we’re leaving here woman” but, apparently, that didn’t work with my wife. Divorce is on my mind. Any advice? Am I impatient or should I divorce?

    My Response:

    Dear impatient;

    Divorce is a huge step. You don’t divorce just because you disagree on where you want to live, are you sure there isn’t more behind this story as to why Divorce is even on your mind? Do you think moving to Florida or South Carolina alone would make you happier? Have you tried talking to your wife and explaining to her how much you really want to move. I know she will be away from her family but explain to her that you guys can come visit often, or perhaps keep the house and buy a condo in Florida or South Carolina just for the winters; maybe this will work better for you, instead of moving completely away from her family. Try talking to your wife, if you love her try to work things out. Divorce shouldn’t even be on your mind and if it is, you need to really think about why you feel this way. I don’t think that it’s just because she doesn’t want to move….

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Is it weird to be 36 and a virgin?

    The Question:

    I am just waiting for the right guy. A handsome, tall, carefree responsible man with no kids. A loyal, good christian man with no bad habits. Is that too much to ask?

    I don’t want to be a slut and just have sex with anybody. I want it to be special…Is it weird to be 36 and a virgin?

    My Response:

    Dear 36 Year Old Virgin;

    I think that at your age it is going to be hard to find a man that has no kids. You don’t need to be a slut to have fun and be open. At your age you may not want to be so picky on that “perfect guy”. No guy is perfect and until you can realize that the imperfect might be perfect for you, you might never find the right guy. You need to be more open minded, you might have to find a guy that may have kids already or has slept around, because to find a man that is also a virgin might be a bit hard in today’s world. There is nothing wrong with wanting a loyal, good Christian man, it just might not be exactly what you have been waiting for. To some it is nice to see that you have waited for the right person to give your self to, to others it is definitely weird that you are 36 and still a Virgin. That is just how our society see’s things, especially in today’s’ world. Life is short and you shouldn’t hold back waiting for that right person to come along, because you never know if Tomorrow will ever come.
    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I had a baby with my wife’s sister…

    The Question:

    How do I win my ex-wife back after having a baby with her sister?
    Before you judge me I would like to say that yes I was wrong. 4 years ago me and my wife were pregnant with twins, her sister came over to stay in Germany with us for 3 months because my ex-wife wanted her here. When my wife was pregnant she was cranky, tired and resisted sex and didn’t want me near her. She kept pushing me away. When her sister came about 2 weeks into her stay, by mistake we kissed, and when my wife went to work we ended up having sex a lot. We ended it but 4 weeks after we did she was pregnant with my baby too. I regret everything I’ve done because my ex-wife was so good to me. When I told her what happened she left me and returned home to her own country and I never got to meet my children which was very unfair. I waited and thought she would come back but when her nine months were up I knew she wasn’t going to return. With her sister I am seeing the child. My wife is back in Germany at the moment because her sister told me and I’ve also seen her and my twins and they have grown up so well and I can see she has brought them up well but I want to be in their lives. How do I ask her to let me at least say hi and that I’m their dad? is there anyway I could win her back? I really love this woman and we never arranged a divorce? What I did is a complete mistake but she never got a divorce. She cant hate me then if she hated me why not get a divorce?

    My Response:

    Dear Remorseful;

    First of all – You kissed her by mistake? You don’t just accidentally fall and kiss someone and you don’t accidentally have sex with someone, let alone your wife’s sister…. Second… Yes; You made a huge mistake, the ultimate mistake. Not only did you cheat on her, you cheated on her with her sister and not only did you cheat on her with her sister you had a baby with her sister. If this woman took you back, I would say you were the luckiest man in the planet. I agree that although you made your mistakes that you should at least be allowed to see the babies. You need to first sit down with your wife and apologize for all that you have done, let her see that you are truly remorseful for what you have done to her and that although your relationship may never be the same you want to be a good father to your children. She probably hasn’t gotten a divorce for a few reasons, one she can’t afford it or two she just can’t bring herself to do it yet. Just because she left doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you. You cheated on her while she was pregnant with her sister and got her sister pregnant too. I don’t know how she forgave her sister, because you were both wrong in what you did. Communication is all you have here, try and talk to her and at least be in your children’s lives, but don’t expect to get back with your wife. Do this for your children and your love for them. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I live with my ex-boyfriend?

    The Question:

    We were together for 7 years and we moved in together January of this year and two weeks ago he told me that he wants his freedom, he wants to live life but loves me very much and he wants me to give him time to live? So I have to move out because it was his apartment but my name is on the lease. Right now I dont have enough money to move, I will have it by August 1. Its been really hard living with him, especially because I want him. He thinks I am moving out July 1st but I’m not. Right now we dont talk at all in the house. So my questions are: Should I wait for him? How can I make this situation better?

    My Response:

    Dear Waiting;

    If after 7 years he now wants his freedom then it isn’t worth waiting around for someone who doesn’t want to be with you. I would be honest with him and explain to him that you can’t move out until August 1st. Regardless if he was living there first, your name is on the lease, so you have every right to stay until you can move out. Before you move out you need to make sure to transfer the lease under his name. You do not want your name on anything that you are not going to be connected to. Don’t wait around for him, move on and find someone better.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My boyfriend turns me down when I want Sex…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I am constantly asking my boyfriend for sex and I have gotten to the point that I don’t like to ask, so I try to send subtle hints his way, but it still doesn’t seem to be working. We only have sex about once a month and it’s only when he wants to have sex. We live together so it makes it even harder. I try putting on sexy lingerie and I try telling him that I need him but nothing seems to work. I have used toys and tried spicing things up in the bedroom. Do you think that maybe he’s just not attracted to me anymore? If he isn’t I rather him be honest with me so that we can end things and I can move on, but I love him and I want to stay with him, I just can’t live a life where we only have sex once a month. Please help!

    Sincerely,
    ~Need Sex

    My Response:

    Dear Need Sex;

    I would sit down with your boyfriend and tell him face to face how you feel. Stop giving off subtle hints because that obviously isn’t working. Walking around in sexy clothes and trying to spice things up also isn’t working, so there is something definitely up with your boyfriend. Has he been acting strange other than not wanting sex? Maybe he is going through some stuff at work or in his personal life that you don’t know about and he’s stressed. Sometimes when people are stressed their sex life goes on hold. Or worse case scenario he’s with someone else. I am not saying this is the case, but if he was never like this before and all of a sudden he’s just not that into you, then something is going on. Find out what is going and find out what he wants in your relationship. You deserve someone who will pay attention to your needs, especially if you are asking for it, and especially if you are prancing around half naked. I know if I was walking around in lingerie my boyfriend would be on top of me faster than I could even say “come here”. So talk to your boyfriend and find out what is going on…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • My Best Friend slept over my Boyfriend’s house…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole ,

    Hi, I’m 18 and I’m having trouble trusting my boyfriend. Last night I had a dinner rehearsal for my friends wedding so I couldn’t hangout with him, so he went out with a bunch of his friends and he said he would be home by 1:30 and he would call me. He called me and of course I was sleeping so he left a voice-mail around 12:30 saying that hes going out to eat with a couple of his fiends and my best-friend, and then he carried on by saying that my best friend is sleeping over his house because she doesn’t want to go home… by the way (BTW) she is 18 and my bf is 19. She also left me a text sating ” hey I’m sleeping over your bf’s house ”. I am super mad at this situation right now and don’t want to talk to either one of them. I know if I did this to my boyfriend he would brake up with me ……. I don’t think this is okay at all. What should I do?
    Sincerely,
    ~Feeling Betrayed
    My Response:

    Dear Feeling Betrayed;

    You need to talk with your boyfriend. Having your friend or any girl sleep over his house is unacceptable. There is no reason for them to be hanging out together outside of the group of friends. This is only feeding temptation. If this is supposed to be your best friend, I would talk to her too because I am pretty sure she wouldn’t want you sleeping over her boyfriends house (if she has one). Right now you have to trust both of them and hope that they are telling you the truth with why she slept over. I would keep my eyes and ears open and talk to both of them and let them know how you feel.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • I’m moving in with my BF, but I’m just NOT SURE…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I am about to move in with my boyfriend but I have a few doubts. I’m not sure he’s mature financially or emotionally to deal with us moving in together. He is 30 and I am 29, this would be the first time I move in with someone so I’m a little scared. We have had an on and off relationship for a while but for the last six months we have been really stable. Do you think that I should move in with him, or wait until he gets more of his finances in order?

    Sincerely,
    ~Moving IN

    My Response:

    Dear Moving IN;

    You are both grown adults and if you are doubting his financial stability then it is definitely something you both need to talk about. You need to see where both of you stand. Draw out an excel spreadsheet with your finances, how much each of you make, expenses for the house, and miscellaneous stuff like eating out, hygiene etc. Moving in together is a big commitment and since you both have been on and off in the past you want to know deep down that this is the right thing to do, you don’t want to rush into something that you will later regret. If things have been going well and he has a stable job then you are probably just nervous. This is natural, especially if you have never lived with another person besides your parents. Communication is so important in a relationship and if you are going to move in together you will definitely need to learn how to communicate. Talk to him and do your budget sheet, once you do that you will know where you both stand and what you can afford. If you don’t trust your boyfriend at all with his finances then that is something you truly need to think about. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who can’t control his spending or finance situation? Especially since he’s already 30. Sit, talk and work things out.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Why is BF texting another Girl?

    The Question:

    I Don’t Understand Why He Is Hiding This?
    Okay so me and my boyfriend had a huge fight over him not wanting to spend time with me and then he tells me that he’s texting another girl but they are just friends so we had another fight about that and him hiding stuff from me but surprisingly he’s not texting her because he likes her, he’s texting her to talk about us but he’s now lying to me about texting her even though it’s just about that (I texted the chick because I know who she is). I just don’t understand why he’s lying to me just about that. Any ideas?

    My Response:

    Dear Fighting;

    The fact that he is talking to someone else about your personal relationship is not good, let alone another girl. If you guys are having problems he needs to talk to you, not another girl. Just because he says he does not like this girl and he is only texting her to talk about your problems doesn’t mean he is telling the entire truth. Sometimes we seek out friends in comfort and later it can turn into something more. Talking to another girl about his relationship problems is only causing temptation where there shouldn’t be any. If you have questions, talk to your boyfriend, sit down with him and tell him how you feel. If you want things to work out, stop arguing and talk. Communication is key in any relationship.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com