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Category: Relationships

  • My wife laughs at me because I am fat…

    The Question:

    I get very emotional, I am 5’6 285lbs and when we are around friends my wife makes jokes. I do eat a lot but her making fun of me does not help. She actually made me cry and I don’t cry…What should I do?

    My Response:

    Dear Emotional;

    Sit down and talk to your wife, communication is key. If you don’t tell her how you feel, she may never realize that when making jokes about your weight in front of other people really bothers you. If you are unhappy about your weight then join a gym membership or jog around your neighborhood for some cardio exercise. Don’t ever let another person put you down about your weight, not even your wife, if you don’t like it, stick up for yourself and do something about Realizing that you are eating a lot is a good start, start eating healthier snacks and make a change.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Is my husband ashamed of me?

    The Question:

    Is my husband ashamed of me? I love my husband very much and we have been together 3 years now. I have put on 10 lbs since we have been together I feel so fat. I used to weigh 110 lbs now I weigh 120 at 5’9 I feel like a cow and he never takes me out anymore. He also doesn’t answer my phone calls or texts anymore when he’s away. I want to lose the weight so badly to make him happy, I would do anything even starve myself. What can I do to make him love me again?

    My Response:

    Dear 10 pounds;

    If your husband is not giving you the attention you need I don’t think it is just because you gained 10 pounds, and if he is ignoring you and not taking you out because of it, then that is not true love. You need to be happy with yourself, don’t ever starve yourself or “do anything” just because the person you love is not there for you. Loose the weight if you want, but do it for you (to make yourself feel better). I can’t imagine that you are “fat” if you are 5’9 at 120lbs. I think the problem here goes deeper than just a few pounds gained, sit down and talk to your husband and get down to the core of what is really going on with him. If he’s that superficial and it really is that you gained 10 pounds then you need to work on that with each other. Start eating better and go to the gym, but this shouldn’t be a reason for the way he is acting with you. Again COMMUNICATION is KEY! Talk to your husband and tell him how you have been feeling, if he wants to work on your marriage he will, and if he doesn’t, then there might be some hard decisions you may have to make. LOVE YOURSELF first, and no matter what any man says or does, remember you are perfect the way you are, don’t ever put yourself down just because a man is acting like a dumb a@# and don’t ever starve yourself to loose the weight, just eat right and exercise, it’s only 10 pounds.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answres.Yahoo.com

  • Can you stop loving someone?

    The Question:

    Do you believe that we can stop loving some one we used to love?
    She said she was in love with me but now she is not…….. how ??

    My Response:

    Dear Lost Love;

    I do believe that we can love someone and one day not love them anymore. Sometimes we think we are in love or that we love someone but we sometimes grow apart or realize that the person we thought we loved wasn’t the person we really wanted to be with. We can sometimes even not want to be with someone anymore and it doesn’t necessarily mean we don’t love that person, it just means we don’t want that kind of relationship with them. Love is hard and it doesn’t always make sense, she could have been confused or thought she loved you or wanted to try and love you but just realized she really didn’t. It is better that she was honest with you rather than have you there believing that she still loved you. I know it’s not easy, but move on, find yourself someone who will love you.

    Good Luck

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I left my husband today…

    The Question:

    I feel weird… its been a long time coming. My husband wants to live in Australia and he does already. I want to stay in England with our son. I also don’t like the way he treats me so I called it quits. Anyway it went surprisingly well. He was fine with it, and said that he would come visit my son when he can. He was so nice to me and he’s never that nice. Its made me feel really guilty. I’m not going to change my mind on t love me to bits. I’m not going to change my mind on this although I love him to bits. I just don’t want to live in Australia and he wont live in England. Why was he so nice and how do I get past this upset weird guilty stage?

    Before anyone judges me it was the best thing to do for my son as my husband was violent at times…

    My Response:

    Dear England;

    I’m going to skip right to the part you said “your husband was violent at times”. If this was the case, then it’s more than just not wanting to move to Australia with your husband. If your husband was abusive then it is better to have gotten out of the marriage now rather than later. If you are choosing not to move just because you don’t want to leave home (England) sometimes we have to make sacrifices to keep our family together. Again if he was violent with you, then there is no reason for you to feel guilty for staying in England. You have to do what is right for you and your son, and it is better to leave an abusive relationship than to stay in one. You say that you still “love him to bits”, if your husband is abusing you it isn’t right, and you shouldn’t love anyone who can hurt you that way. What you are doing is better than being in an abusive relationship. If your husband is being nice, he may just be trying to get you to forgive him and move to Australia with him. Stick with what you believe, and if he is violent, I wouldn’t allow him to have visitation rights with your son alone, make sure you are always there with him.

    Good luck

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My husbands abusive & I have a 4 mo. old baby…

    The Question:

    Help please Marriage problems……?

    So to start it off I am almost 20 and my hubby is 31 and I have a 4 month old baby and we have been married for 13 months. Our marriage is on the rocks we don’t have good communication we are always arguing everyday, I am not happy in this marriage my husband is CRAZY and when I say crazy I mean it; he is the most abusive person I have met. If I say anything he wont like he will go OFF and throw anything in front of him! He hits me in public, like just today he bashed me in the car while he was holding my baby girl and all I said was that my girl will choose what she wants to be when she grows up and I know it wont be something bad and he’s like no she will be a religious person she will be a religious lecturer and she wont choose I will! I am so fed up I hate his narrow minded thinking…..he tells me he loves me but does all this =/ I am sooooooooo belittled he says I am fat and to loose weight so that we can have sex! We haven’t done it for 10 months but sex is not the issue its his anger and narrow minded thinking I am soooo emotionally wrecked I feel like killing myself but then think of my baby girl and I cant leave this world and leave her with him! He wants this perfect wife who is slim beautiful and bows down to him who listens to everything he says and doesn’t say a word, he’s just kidding himself!!

    He’s changed my personality, my thinking, my mental state, and I have ZERO self esteem and no confidence and my family hates me and him they haven’t seen me in 3 yrs and I haven’t talked to anyone in my family for 2 years. I am going to go mental I don’t know what to do….

    Additional Details
    I am still trying to make this marriage work because I don’t want my baby girl to grow up without her dad. I didn’t have my dad half of my life and it sucked! Please help….

    My Response:

    Dear too young;

    You need to take a breather, and relax for a moment, what you are going through is something no person should have to withstand. Stop and think about not only yourself but the life of your daughter. You don’t want your daughter growing up with out her father, but do you think it’s okay for her to grow up with a father who abuses her mom and most likely will abuse her one day too? I know it wasn’t easy for you growing up without a father, but it’s better than growing up with one that is abusive. You need to have respect for yourself, don’t let him put you down and don’t let him abuse you any longer. Have the courage to pick up the phone and talk to your family, I am sure if you talk to them and let them know what is going on they will help you. If they don’t want to help (which I don’t see why they wouldn’t), then you need to be stronger than you will ever have to be for your baby. Get out of that marriage and save yourself and your child from more hurt and pain. It is never OKAY for a man to put his hands on a women and belittle her in front of others. You are still very young and you have your whole life ahead of you, take action and get out now.

    There are support groups for abused women and if you feel that you aren’t safe leaving, call the police, get the help you need to get out of that abusive relationship and save yourself and your daughters life.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • How do you keep the romance going when you have children in the house?

    The Question:

    How do you keep the romance going when you have children in the house? I would love to keep the romance going in my marriage, but it is a little more challenging since we’ve had a little girl (almost a year old). He’s away on business quite often as well, which makes it even more challenging… any ideas?

    My Response:

    Dear Romance;

    I know it’s hard because you are probably very tired since you are dealing with a one year old all day. However, just because you have a child in your house doesn’t mean the romance needs to stop. When your husband comes home from a business trip surprise him with dinner, put the baby down to sleep early and light some candles in your room and (well I don’t think I need to elaborate the rest) 😉

    If its a normal day, just make sure the baby is sleeping in her own room (I am not sure if the baby sleeps in your room with you guys, but if she does then that needs to stop.) A baby in the bed is what causes most marriages to have problems, sex is very important and you can’t let that flame die down. Spice it up, maybe get a babysitter and go out for the evening together, get a hotel for a few hours (if you can afford it), if you can’t, maybe act like a couple of teenagers and do some fun stuff in the car. When there is a will there is a way.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My wife cheated on me years ago, now she’s emailing old Bf’s…

    The Question:

    My wife cheated on me years ago, then I caught her emailing old boyfriends recently…It has been a rough 20 years of marriage. Her family is a bunch of crazy lunatics that have caused so
    much chaos in our lives and also caused it to her brothers family. I know her family bad mouths me to her all the time.My question is: by their constant badgering of her did they cause her to forget her vows and if she has done this so many times and her family is so negative about me then why is she still staying here?

    My Response:

    Dear Blame;

    Stop blaming your wife’s family, your wife’s crazy family has nothing to do with her actions. Your wife chose to cheat on you and she is now choosing to write emails to her ex boyfriends. I can understand that dealing with a crazy family isn’t easy and it doesn’t help the situation if they are bad mouthing you to her all the time, but she has been with you for 20 years for a reason, and if her family hasn’t broken you up by now, it is more than likely that isn’t the reason your marriage might be having problems now. Stop looking at her family and focus on your relationship with your wife. Sit down and talk to her, find out what is going on and why she is emailing her ex boyfriends. Truth be told, after she cheated on you years ago, that should have been a huge sign to get out. Someone who doesn’t respect the person they love isn’t worth staying with. With that said, you stuck it out and you have made it this far, if you really want to save your marriage find out what is going on with your wife, if you feel she may be cheating on you again, then you need to find out the truth and you need to make a choice on what to do here. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Is it a good sign that he did this?

    The Question:

    My boyfriend and I were in an on and off relationship for almost two years, but a couple of months ago, we decided to break it off and haven’t spoken since.

    A couple of days ago, I saw that he had been to my LinkedIn profile – and he is not a connection, since I started the account after the last time we broke up.

    Does this mean that he might be thinking of me? Am I right to think it’s a good sign?

    My Response:

    Dear LinkedIn;

    LinkedIn is used for professional reasons, perhaps he was thinking of getting one and just wanted to see your profile, just because he was looking at it doesn’t necessarily mean he was thinking of you to get back with you or anything. You also said that it was a mutual decision to break up, so why the wondering about your ex boyfriend now?

    I also don’t see how you know he looked at your LinkedIn? Perhaps the question here goes beyond the fact that he might be thinking of you. I say let it go, if he hasn’t tried to contact you directly then move on. You broke up for a reason right?

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • What to do about husbands unusual sexual/metal health problem?

    The Question:

    My husband was 28 when we met and a virgin. When we started having sex, he opened up about being “different.” He wanted to wear panties and wanted me to make fun of his tiny penis. Didn’t love the stuff, but whatever. Now it’s a thousand times worse. He goes to Victoria’s Secret and tells the salesgirls he is being punished by his wife for wearing her panties and that I am “forcing him” to go buy some of his own. He told me he could see our neighbor undressing, so he tried to contact her to see if she wanted to humiliate him while he was dressed as a woman. And he recently “confessed” to a female coworker that he had a deep, dark secret he wanted to tell her. I confronted him, and he said he was going to tell her about me “forcing him” to wear panties and ask if she wanted to see his tiny penis! Now he tells he wants to flash women his panties so they can laugh at him.

    He sees nothing wrong with this behavior. I have children with him, this isn’t a joke, please help! He also is very mean, verbally to me and my children, says mean things and I just don’t know what to do.

    My Response:

    Dear Underwear;

    When you met your husband you knew what you were getting into, he showed his strange behavior almost from the start, now that it’s continued and worsened you want help? I just don’t understand how you didn’t see the signs from the beginning. No man wants a women to make fun of his penis and call it tiny, if anything they want encouragement that it’s nice and big. Your husband definitely has issues, and if you want to work things out and stay with him, you need to open up to him and go to counseling. See if he can get his urges under control. If he begins flashing people in woman’s underwear’s this can lead to more problems then what you already have. It’s hard because you have children, but you have to think about them first and foremost. If your children see their father in a woman’s underwear do you think that is okay? Communicate with your husband about how you are feeling towards this, ultimately it is going to be his choice to realize that he does have a problem and that it is not normal. Because this has been going on for so long and you accepted it, he may not understand why it’s such a big problem now. If he refuses to admit he has a problem and see professional help, you may have to make a decision to get him out of the house.

    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Advice for living with a depressed person?

    The Question:

    My fiance is a manic depressive. We were engaged for 5 yrs, had a son. I was working full time 70 miles away from home, he was unemployed, staying home with the kids. The unemployment made him feel worthless and he stopped doing things around the house, was down 24/7, snippy, grouchy, etc. It got to the point where I left the house at 4am for work, got home at 6pm, and had to cook dinner, do laundry, bathe the kids, etc. I tried to help him, talk to him, love him. Nothing worked. He wouldn’t go to counseling because he didn’t have insurance, and he wouldn’t let me pay for it. After about a year or so, I couldn’t take it any more. I told him to move out. He left with nothing. He had no where to go. I felt horrible, but I felt like I had to do it to keep MY sanity and give my kids a good life. Flash forward. For the next “single” year of my life, I saw my ex-fiance at least 4 days a week. He would come to the house to see the kids, but he would spend most of his time telling me how much he loved me, how he had changed, and how he wanted his family back. He even admitted himself to a mental hospital for a few weeks and got on some meds. I am a pretty stubborn, independent woman, but after a year of this constant barrage of love and adoration, I gave in. I don’t want my kids to come from a broken home. My parents were married for 35 yrs before my dad passed. I thought I could make it work. It’s been 2 months. And about a month of that has been him being very insecure and depressed and just, well, weird. I am seriously considering just giving up. I don’t think I am a strong enough person to deal with an illness of this sort. He stopped taking his meds again because he doesn’t have insurance at his new job. I feel like a horrible person for not being able to deal with all this. I am afraid he will hurt himself if I make him leave again. His side of the family doesn’t really help him out, they don’t ever seem to see how serious things are. I guess I just need advice/opinions/and I’m sure I’ll get some haters.

    My Response:

    Dear Caregiver;

    You are in a hard position, because you have kids with this man I can understand not wanting them to grow up in a “broken home”, however with that said, is it any better for them to see their dad depressed all the time and acting the way he does and seeing you upset about it? It’s a hard decision and you have made it before, but I don’t find it selfish of you for thinking about yourself and your family before thinking of him. You can’t babysit him and if he can’t take control of his illness and find a way to take the medication to stay stable then there may be no hope for the two of you. Talk to him and explain to him that he needs to figure out how to get the medication or he needs to leave again. I know many people may find it selfish of you, or as if you were giving up, but sometimes we can’t control things in life, and we can’t fix them. You are an independent women and you will be fine; give him your support as a friend, and if you are truly madly in love with him, try to find a way to work things out, if you are staying with him just because of the kids, then re-evaluate your relationship and find a way to either stay together or move on. Living in a home with someone who is constantly depressed, insecure and so forth isn’t healthy for the children either, and don’t you think that is almost the same thing as a “broken home”?

    They will still have their father in their lives, and you will still be there for him as a friend, but you cannot stay with someone just because you feel bad for them. Live your life too, you deserve to be happy.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com