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Category: Relationships

  • Would you trust this women?

    The Question:

    She lives an hour away. She never invites me to her place or will hang out with me near her home or where she works. Refuses to see me during the work week. She never calls and maybe texts me once or twice a week. The only time I see her is when she drives down to my place or we meet in a hotel. She has guy friends. She admits to sleeping with one before we dated. She says I should trust her what are your thoughts?

    My Response:

    Dear Trustworthy;

    If you are asking all these questions, then the answer is right in front of you. You obviously don’t trust her, and I don’t blame you. If you are dating and sleeping together and she hasn’t taken you home, then I would wonder if perhaps she is married or living with a boyfriend. Maybe she has a kid and she doesn’t want you to meet him or her. Either way, there is definitely something there. You hardly talk, she only texts you once or twice a week and you don’t see her during the week. If you do see her, you are meeting in hotels, and I’m pretty sure you aren’t doing much talking there. If you want to just stay with her for the few romps in the sheet once a week, then go for it, but if you want a relationship with this women I would advise asking her straight out all the questions you are asking. Be honest and if you really want a relationship with this women then you need to be up front with her about what you are feeling. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Am I spending enough time with him?

    The Question:

    My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now and we live about an hour apart, so we don’t get to see each other that much. Maybe once or twice a week ( half a day) some weeks we don’t even see each other. He was overseas for Christmas and I didn’t see him for a month. I’m not the kind of person to cling to him or be obsessed and stuff but recently its been bugging me. The fact that he isn’t here when I need him really gets to me :(. I don’t think we spend enough time with each other although he says he tries his best. I don’t go out with my guy and girl friends anymore because it upsets him if I go alone. He has uni all the time and stuff and so do I but i try to make time for him and he does not seem to make time for me. We were suppose to go out with friends on Friday but he said he has a group meeting. We changed it to Saturday and he says he promised his friend they would hang out! Should I just break up with him??

    My Response:

    Dear Long Distance;

    It’s a hard decision and I can see that you really care for him and perhaps even love him, but long distance relationships whether it be across the country or just an hour away is hard. You need a boyfriend that is there for you, you can’t really have a true relationship if you aren’t able to spend time together and get to know each other in person. No one can make the decision for you to break up with him or not, that is something that only you can do. The fact that you are asking the question shows that it is on your mind. Evaluate your relationship, you said:

    ** You live an hour away, but you only see each other 1 to 2 times a week and only for half a day. (An hour isn’t a short drive, but it also isn’t that far), if he really wants to see you he’ll make the effort to come down on the weekends. I’m not sure how his schedule is, so maybe he can’t come down on the weekends, and if this is the case this is something that is hard to change.

    ** You don’t go out with your friends because he does not like you going out alone. (Okay, if you aren’t hanging out with him because he wants to hang out with his guy friends, explain to me why it’s okay for him but not for you)?

    Long distance is hard, and if one of you is making the effort and the other person isn’t, then there is a decision you definitely have to make. I know it’s hard but if you love him, and he really wants to make it work, you guys will figure it out. If you feel it isn’t going to work, then it’s best to go your separate ways now and find someone closer that you can have a good relationship with. Someone you can see more often and go on dates with. Take maybe a few days off from each other and see how you feel then. Don’t keep waiting though, time doesn’t stop for love….
    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Recent forced breakup with girlfriend!?

    The Question:

    I have had a recent breakup with my long-term girl friend because she has lost the love she once had for me and does not want to be with me anymore. I have never cheated on her or hurt her. I have always stood up for her and been by her side fighting through thick and thin, She has now left me even though i begged her to not leave me as I love her a lot. What can I do to win her back someday? I am prepared to wait for her whenever she decides to return to me. Also I am a loner with little or no friends. Is it possible that this girl will see my true love for her someday?

    My Response:

    Dear Loner;

    I know this is hard… to lose someone you love, to have always been there for them and wonder why they just one day decided to not love you anymore. Unfortunately you can wait days, months or maybe even years, but the fact remains that she had to make a decision and if she feels that she doesn’t love you, then it was best that she told you then to leave you lingering around hoping to one day grow in a relationship that isn’t even there. We all choose things in life, you say that you are a loner with little or no friends. Start opening up, you need get confidence and realize that you are worth it, and that you can also have friends. Start hanging out with the little friends you do have, and open up to them. Start talking to other girls and you may get turned down a few times, but if you have the confidence you will meet someone who will love you for you. I know it’s hard now, but you have to move forward, and one day you will see that her breaking up with you is better than her lying to you about loving you. Love is hard, but get the courage to get back out there, stop being a loner and start hanging out with friends, you don’t know what you are missing out on until you get out there.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Son in law wiggled his sex package in front of me last night?

    The Question:

    My son in law said I looked depressed and horny and he thought I needed a pick me up.I am all that but he is my son in law and he wiggled his sex package in front of me last night. How can I get a guy like my son in law to do that for me otherwise?…

    My Response:

    Dear Depressed;

    I think the main concern here is the fact that your daughters son is wiggling his “package” in front of you. Do you not find this a concern for your daughter? First I would worry about the subject at hand, I think you need to be honest with your daughter and tell her that her husband is going around showing you his “package”. That is the first thing that needs to stop. Then get down to why you are feeling depressed. Feeling horny is natural for a persons body to go through, so stop being depressed, get off the couch and get out there. Start hanging out with friends and try to meet a nice guy. You definitely don’t want someone like your son in law. Would you want your boyfriend or husband showing their “package” to someone else? You need to see why you are feeling depressed and do something about it. I know it’s easier said than done. I don’t know how old you are, or why you are feeling depressed so I can’t give you more advice unless I know what you are feeling. My main point, tell your daughter about your son in law, tell him that was inappropriate and find out why you are feeling depressed. Horny??? Get a toy for now to satisfy your needs, until you can meet a good guy to do it for you.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Why do in-laws interfere in relationships?

    The Question:

    Although me and my girlfriend are not married we have a son together whose 2. We seem to always get into this situation sometimes not all the time where if my girlfriend is upset about something the mum is blaming me. An example is my girlfriend started to cry cause my son wouldn’t eat his dinner she starts crying and the mum is saying this happens cause I spoil him. Everything I tell my girlfriend she tells her mum she is Slovakian and does not speak English. She comes over a few times a year. I told her I was not interested in her opinion and what she says cause if feels at times I’m getting teamed up against me. Am I out of order? How much influence should in laws have?

    My Response:

    Dear Influenced;

    Unfortunately in-laws sometimes tend to interfere because they think they are helping more then harming the situation. You need to talk to your girlfriend, because you do not want to make a relationship that is already rocky with the in-laws worse than what they already are. Explain to your girlfriend that you feel uncomfortable and that you do not like when her mother starts blaming you for things going wrong in the house. If your mother in-law only visits a few times out of the year, try not to stress about it too much, at least she isn’t over every weekend. When she is over, try to do stuff around the house (yard work) anything to try and make space so she can be with your girlfriend alone and you don’t have to really be involved with their time together. Make time to sit with them for dinner so she see’s you are still making time to spend with her, even if she is a pain in the you know what. It’s best to get along with the in-laws, because they will be in your life for a long time. Talk to your girlfriend and tell her how you feel. Communication is key…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I don’t feel protected by my spouse?

    The Question:

    I don’t feel protected by my spouse? Recently, my husband and I went out for my birthday to a local bar and grill. My husband’s ex wife happened to work there. As we were leaving my cousin popped something off to the woman, who immediately called a friend to come to the bar. After telling everyone goodbye in the parking lot I went in to apologize. On my way out a woman I didn’t know (the ex’s friend) shoved me into the glass door (she came from outside) and continued to harass me. She pulled my hair, and naturally out of instinct I punched her. My husband broke us up, and right after left?? I had no idea who this woman was, or how she knew what I looked like? My husband blamed the incident on me, saying I should of left once I found out his ex worked there, even though I was nice to her? His ex later wrote a facebook message in which my husband didn’t respond to the things she said to me. I am concerned, my husband and I had been fighting prior to my birthday dinner, but regardless I feel he should of stayed and protected me, or at least made sure I was okay? I can’t get over it, and when I try to talk about it he lashes out at me. Please give me some feedback, I need some other opinions. Also, when I asked why he left, he said he was afraid people he worked with would see?? I’m lost. I just don’t feel like he would protect me, and I am beginning to wonder why the situation doesn’t bother him? Am I overreacting??

    I DID NOT SAY ANYTHING TO HIS WIFE. I APOLOGIZED FOR MY COUSIN’S ACTIONS!

    *Also, where we live there is only one place to drink, and it is a dry county. No one my husband knew or worked with was there that night besides his ex. Turns out he went there the Saturday prior and was told his ex worked there, even though he denies it.

    My Response:

    Dear Unprotected;

    The fact that he did not stand up for you and the fact that he is getting upset over something with his ex worries me. Why is he so defensive on his ex’s feelings and not yours? Why is he getting so defensive if he is not hiding anything. The fact that you went inside to be the bigger person and apologize for your cousins actions shows that you were doing the right thing. It was your birthday, if your husband felt uncomfortable from the beginning knowing his ex wife was there, then he should have said something and you could have gone somewhere else, if there was no other place to go (as indicated you are in a dry county) then he should have enjoyed it with you and not worried so much about what others would say or think. Aren’t you his wife now? I don’t understand the big problem. As for getting in a fight with the ex-wife’s friend, the friend started it, were you supposed to allow her to pull your hair and hit you? You did right by defending yourself. I don’t expect your husband to fight another women, and he did pull you apart but he should have not been so upset with you afterwords, especially when you were trying to explain to him what happened in the first place.

    You need to get to the bottom of this, it sounds like your husband may be upset about something else or he’s hiding something that he lashes out every time you try to bring this up. You need to sit down with him, when he’s in a good mood, tell him that you want to talk and you don’t want him to get upset because he needs to listen to what you have to say and take in what you have to say before responding back to you with any negative feedback. Explain to him that you were only trying to do the right thing by going in an apologizing for your cousin, the fact that you were being the bigger person should show that it didn’t even bother you that she was there. If something is bothering him, he needs to let you know, because you cannot live not talking to each other over a petty fight.
    Hope it works out for you.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • What would you do if you were in love with your friend’s girlfriend?

    The-Question:

    My friend and his girlfriend have been together for 11 months and are happy and in love but I think I’m in love with her. I’d never do anything about it and even when they broke up I wouldn’t as she’d be his ex but I can’t stop thinking about her. What would you do?

    My response:

    Dear ‘friend’;

    I don’t think you are in love, I think you are infatuated with the idea of love. You see your friend happy with another girl, a girl that is easy to get along with because you like her as a friend, pretty, interesting and it’s easy to get all these mixed feelings. If you are a true friend and they are happy then leave it alone, try finding yourself another girl to date (there are plenty other girls out there other then your friends girlfriend), never go for the friends girlfriend, unless you want to risk loosing your friendship. If they break up and time has passed you can always ask your friend if he’d mind you dating her but even if he said yes things may be awkward and the girl might not feel the same way about you. You will still be risking your friendship. Some guys don’t mind if a friend dates an ex girlfriend, or at least that’s what they say to your face, but put yourself in his shoes, would you want him dating one of your ex-girlfriends? I’m not sure why you are even thinking about “if” they broke up if you say they have been together for 11 months and in love. I say just keep moving, don’t stop, and find another girl, NEVER go for your friends girl unless you don’t care about your friendship.

    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    Found on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My wife and mom don’t get along…

    The Question:

    What can i do for dispute between my mom and my wife?

    My Response:

    Dear Son & Husband;

    If your mom and wife are constantly disputing you need to sit down separately with them and see what is causing the dispute. Your wife is your family now and I’ve come to know that when a wife and mother in law don’t get a long it’s usually because the mother in law is meddling in their business or being mean to them, not wanting to let go of their son. You need to sit down with your mom and explain to her how bickering and fighting with your wife is doing no good, and that she needs to stop and get along with her. I don’t know the full story so I don’t know why they truly don’t get along. Talk to your wife and try to find out what is bothering her and why she keeps fighting with your mom. If your wife is the one who is starting the fights tell her that she needs to either ignore your mom and just be civil when you are together (for your sake) because that is your mom and she will always be your mom. Your mother on the other hand needs to let you live your life and realize that this is your family now, and she needs to stop bickering with your wife. The only thing you can do is sit down with them and tell them how you feel and try to get to the bottom of their bickering. Family should be able to get along. I am so grateful to get along with my mother in law, and its the most wonderful thing.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My husband hits me very bad!?!

    The Question:

    We are married for 8 months now and I am all alone with him and my people are in a different city. For a very petty issue… my husband got really mad at me and hit me hard (I had to hit him back to defend myself) and now I have bruises in my face and hands.. and he hit me really hard on my head many times… I was advised a CT Scan.. and luckily, it turned out to be just swelling externally in my head. He only took me to the hospital, but he regrets what he did, but still I am very very upset and every time I go to the bedroom I get reminded of how badly he hit me several times that day; pulling my hair so hard and much more… I believe he loves me and I am financially completely independent all I expected out of this marriage was pure love. I don’t know what I should do now; my inner mind tells me this might happen again. I haven’t informed any of my people about this, as I know they will get very worried. Any thoughts on what I should do now?

    Additional Details

    Thank you so much for pouring in all your thoughts.. 1) I am in India. 2) Issue was nothing but, I was upset about not being able to find a movie of my choice from a place near by, so I didn’t talk to him for sometime because I was upset with my own fate and he didn’t care he later inquired what was bothering me as I was lying alone sadly for sometime. He started off very harsh asking what happened to me, I just replied that issue would worsen if you ask in this tone. He didn’t like my reply and threw some juice in my face, I said I would not take the way that I was being treated and he said he would still do the same in-spite of me explaining to him calmly multiple times how I was feeling. Even in the past for other petty issues like this, he has thrown and broken household things. Once he was even about to break my office laptop and I just assumed that he would go to the extent of hitting me! And I consciously threw juice back in his face as I got tired being submissive and I made up my mind to face the worst and did it. Please help….
    (Modified a few changes in the spelling and tried to make it make sense – Kristin Nicole)


    My Response:

    Dear Abused;

    I don’t know how things work in India, but here in the United States what you two are doing is called abuse. No man has the right to hit any women I don’t care where you are from, and I don’t care what you do back to him. The two of you need to sit down together and figure things out. Do you want to make things work with someone who gets upset because you are upset and then just starts throwing things and hitting you? You are also not innocent in all this either, if he is asking you why you are upset there is no reason to get more upset at him, and just because he throws something around the house does not give you the right to throw something in his face (juice). The two of you are abusing each other and it isn’t right. You can not grow with this relationship if it is only going to be about yelling at each other, throwing things or hitting each other. (Like I said before this gives him no right to hit you), but the both of you need help, and your marriage will not get far if the both of you are abusing each other and yelling and fighting all the time. You need to evaluate your relationship and ask yourself “is this the man I want to spend the rest of my life with”? If you know the answer deep down is no, then you need to move on (not sure if divorce is allowed in India) but you need to get away from this abusive relationship, if you want to stay, you are taking the chance that your husband will not stop abusing you and you will only retaliate back by abusing him. (This is not a healthy relationship). Think about what you two are doing to each other, talk to each other and make a decision before someone gets really hurt.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Afraid since ex husbands death?

    The Question:

    My husband and I were separated for 3 years because of alcohol and prescription drug addiction. It sadly caught up with him and last week he died. We had a good relationship towards the end and the girls (10,12) got on well with him. This was after a couple of years of abusive phone calls, barring orders etc. Now since he’s died I keep expecting to see him, I’m so afraid of being on my own, and yes I do feel stupid saying this , but yet when I go up my stairs at night my heart is beating and I’m taking antihistamines that I know make me groggy to sleep! my sister thinks I have survivors guilt but all I know is that I’m a person who doesn’t believe in an afterlife or ghosts or anything like that but I’m still scared all the time, has anyone felt this? I know I’m rearing my girls in a way that I know he would approve of, I don’t have another man in my life, why do I feel this way?? Sorry for the long thread , thanks in advance for any help.

    My Response:

    Dear Guilt;

    I think you may feel guilty for not being able to help him sooner, maybe guilty you left and didn’t stay longer to help him, seeing that you ended up getting along so well in the end. You need to let that go, it is not your fault that he was addicted to alcohol or drugs and he chose that life. You had to separate for him to get better, and it was great that he was doing so good in the end, but unfortunately it was just too late. It is hard to not be able to talk or see him everyday like you had been accustomed to for so long, but it will get easier as time goes by. You need to be strong for your girls now and keep doing what you have been doing this entire time that he wasn’t there (and was there) being a great mother to your girls. You have to let go whatever it is you are holding inside you and until you do that, you won’t stop feeling the anxious feeling you feel when going up stairs to bed, or thinking about your ex husband. However, things happen for a reason, and although we don’t always know the reasons behind what happens in our lives, we have to learn from them and grow from them. There is a lesson here to be learned, look back and look at your future and you are the only one that will know what everything means. Stay strong and forgive him for the pain he’s caused you in the past and forgive him for passing away (for in the end he was trying to make things right). Time heals all wounds (even if you don’t see that now).

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com