Category: Relationships

The Question:

What would u do if after one year of a relationship with your partner you got to know he is married with 2 kids?

My Response:

Dear Lied To;

After a whole year of lies, and the fact that he has another life and is married with kids, is this really a question or you just want to confirm that what you are thinking is what everyone else is thinking? What would I do??? I would leave him, change my number, email address and tell him to never call me again. I would move on and find a man that is not taken, that is honest with me and is only seeing and loving me. You do not need to be second best, and you do not need to sit back while he enjoys his family and you on the side. If he truly loved you he would have left his wife before having a relationship with you and he would have never lied to you about having another family. Get out now and cut your losses, this is the SIGN that says GET OUT!

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

Dear Kristin Nicole;

The Question:

I need advice regarding my husband. He is basically a
good man. The main problem I have with him is his
ability to be stubborn. Most times when we have a
disagreement he reacts by ignoring me. I am left with
feelings of hurt and he simply does not react to me
and ignores me. This gets to me and I know this is
why he does it. He needs to understand how it is hurts
our marriage. I am experiencing a growing disconnection
from you because of this. I am left angry asking myself
what gives him the right to treat me this way. Please
help me on how to better cope with how he is so very
stubborn. As I said, I could not find a more wonderful
man and I know this is in contrast to how he is so darn
stubborn, but it is true he is a good man. I do not
want to divorce over this but have no idea what to do.
I have talked to him, pleaded with him and he still
continues to shun me. I feel this gives him some power
over me and resent it.

My Response:

Dear Has A Stubborn Husband;

Most men are very stubborn and you are not the only one trying to figure out how to let your guy know that when he ignores you or shuns you out that it is hurting your feelings. Men do not realize that as a women or as a human being we can only take so much neglect and hurt before we start shutting ourselves out of the relationship. From your words I can tell that you truly love your husband and that your only issue is him not realizing how much he is hurting you when he decides to ignore you over an argument. Communication is key to any relationship. Sit down with him and tell him the part you told me “I am experiencing a growing disconnection from you because of this. I am left angry asking myself what gives him the right to treat me this way”. No man has the right to treat us this way, but sometimes they do not really see anything wrong with doing what they do best, and that is being stubborn and not wanting to discuss an argument we may be having with them. If by telling him how you feel does not change there is always the option of counseling. I know this may not seem like a big problem to some people but one of the main reasons for divorce is lack of communication. You have to trust each other and be able to say what you are feeling to each other even if you think it might hurt the other persons feelings. You have to learn to agree to disagree sometimes and we have to learn to say when we might be wrong. Try to be honest again with your husband and go from there, if he still doesn’t listen or change his way you have two options: #1 You kind of already knew he was stubborn when you met him, stick it out and when he ignores you just take a breather and leave him alone for a while, bring it up again in a few minutes or maybe even an hour and make sure to go up to him calmly to discuss and resolve your problem. If the problem isn’t that big, you may want to pick and choose your battles, perhaps you are arguing about little things that just don’t matter. #2 I know you don’t want a divorce but if the both of you can’t work things out and figure out how to communicate then it’s either live like this for the rest of your lives or find a way out. Life is too short to feel unappreciative or feel like he is constantly ignoring you.

You deserve better than that, and if he truly loves you, the both of you will find a way to work things out. Good luck.

xo,
kristin nicole

The Question:

I have been with one man all my life, and I have taken him as the love of my life..but now at the age of 30 I am getting separated from my husband. I am too scared wondering if I will ever find anyone or fall in love again… even after all that happened between us I am getting cold feet; stepping out of my marital home for good, well it’s scary. I will not go into too much details, but there has been anger issues with him and a lack of financial security.
Now I feel like I will never be able to have the life I wanted; with a nice honest decent guy and have a couple of kids and a calm loving home with no screams or tantrums from a husband. However, I wonder if this will ever happen and I just feel hopeless. (FYI: We have no kids)…

My Response:

Dear Chance;

I am going to start off with you having no kids at the moment with your current husband — THIS IS A GOOD THING! You would always be tied to him weather you liked it or not, and since you have NO KIDS, you can move on with your life and never turn back. It is hard to be on your own, and the older we get we feel more insecure in finding the right guy, but NEVER give up. There are plenty of men out there and you are at the age that most men are more mature and ready to have families. I am sure you will find someone, you just need to have a little faith. First things first, finalize your divorce, no one should have to deal with someone that has anger issues and if he hasn’t figured out how to be financially responsible by now, you are getting out at a perfect time before something worse happens. Life is scary, that is normal to feel the way you are feeling, but don’t get cold feet now, if you aren’t happy, get out, and move forward. It is going to be hard and it is going to be a change since you really only know one man your whole life, but trust me, where there is a will there is a way. Be confident and get your life together, you will see that you made the right decision and eventually you will find that NICE, HONEST, DECENT GUY to have a couple of kids with. You are still young, have faith and stay strong.

xo
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

The Question:

I recently found out about my husband texting and talking to two girls and buying gifts for another one. He tells me that he knows these girls from work and they are in contact with him just for networking. Does it make sense to you to network with office people after 10:30 pm, discussing personal things? Maybe I don’t understand that, and that is why I can’t believe him. I want to believe him that these girls are from his work but all the time I am thinking in my mind that when he goes out that he is lieing to me. I don’t want to leave him because I don’t think it will be easier for me to find a man, as I am a very simple person and I can’t flirt like my husband and other girls do. So I have decided to just live with this man instead of being alone. But my problem is how can I make myself to feel like I don’t care what he does, who he talks to and who he is with when he is not at home. Please tell me how I can stop caring for his actions and just believe that this is my life now and it is better then living alone….

My Response:

Dear Alone;

There is such a thing as NETWORKING. Networking involves people outside your work, if you already work with them there is nothing to discuss once you leave the office, let alone text late at night about personal stuff and buy them gifts. You need to be confident in yourself and believe that you can find someone much better than your husband. Never stay in a relationship just because you are comfortable and just because you think you can not find another man. There are plenty of other men out there, you need to have respect for yourself if your husband has no respect for you at all. You cannot just make your feelings go away, you can’t just sit at home pretending you don’t care that he might be out there with other women. Living alone is not a bad thing, maybe you need to live alone for a little in order to find yourself. You are clearly lost, because no women should be cheated on and then have to sit back and watch. If you care it is because you love him, and if he is cheating on you he clearly has no regards for your feelings or your love and you deserve someone who will not cheat on you and be honest with you. Being alone is not the end of the world! Stand up, be strong and have respect for yourself. You deserve so much better. Trust is very important in a relationship and you clearly have lost the trust in your marriage, without trust and without an honest spouse you cannot move forward, and you cannot just pretend that everything is okay. If you have family or friends use them to lean on them during this hard time, if you don’t have family or friends it is going to be harder to move on and move out but you have to be strong for you. Life is too short to live an unhappy life and to live a life that is filled with hate and no love. Love is strong, and I believe that no matter what there is always someone out there for someone.

xo,
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

The Question:

If your significant other didn’t get you a birthday card, would you be upset?
If they wished you a happy birthday but no card, would you be upset? He didn’t get me a b-day present because he has paid for some big things recently and I am okay with that, but I at least thought I would get a card. Tell me if I am being childish.

My Response:

Dear No Card;

You have every right to be a little upset. Don’t worry, most guys don’t think a card is a big deal and they just don’t think about getting one. My boyfriend rarely gets me a card for my birthday or anniversary and I have told him before that I love getting cards, because it is the only time he actually writes down the little things he sometimes doesn’t say all the time. Remember though, just because he didn’t get you a card doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. But I understand 100% what you are feeling, and I totally get that since he bought a few things before your birthday that a card ON YOUR BIRTHDAY, would have just been nice or even some roses would have been romantic. MEN sometimes just don’t think about those things, so try not to get too upset. But it’s totally okay to be a little upset
😉

xo
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

The Question:

Last night, having sex, I was more enthusiastic than usual and my husband said to me “I like it when you’re liking it, not when you’re in a mard” (slang for being a bit moody), yet he says I’m ALWAYS in a mard? Which made me think – does this mean he doesn’t enjoy sex when I’m being ”mardy”? Therefore he rarely enjoys sex? And if that’s the case, why has he never cheated? Or is it that he always enjoys sex, and he just meant that he likes it that I’m enjoying myself? And doesn’t like it that I’m mardy sometimes? Advice please…

My Response:

Dear Mard;

These are all questions you need to be asking your husband. Communication is always the key to a healthy relationship and maybe this is a turning point to having a better sex life with your husband. Just because he said you are a “mard” and you are “always in a mard”, doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t enjoy sex with you. I think he was just surprised perhaps of how much you were enjoying sex last night and he was happy about that. Most men really get turned on when they see their wife/girlfriend is enjoying the sex. It boosts their ego in a way, letting them know they are getting and doing the job right! If he hasn’t cheated on you, I would take this as a good sign that he truly loves you. I’m sure he doesn’t like when you are a mard sometimes but I am sure he knew you were like this when he met you and married you, I would just ask him how he feels, and this way you won’t have any of these questions lingering in your mind. If you know you are moody a lot try to figure out why you always feel this way, and change your ways. Life is too short to always be “mardy”. You enjoyed your sex session with your husband last night right? Try to remember and focus on that moment the next time you have sex and realize you are feeling moody, that might change your mood and remind you that there isn’t any reason to feel moody and to enjoy your intimacy with your husband. Enjoy life…Enjoy sex…

xo
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

Question #1 from BF:

What is a good birthday present for my girlfriend? We have been dating for a year. She’s gonna be 40, I’m 43. I wanted to get her a cell phone because hers broke and her budget is tight right now, so I figured that would help her. It’s about $80. I told her that’s what I was thinking of getting for her and I thought she would be excited, but her response was not of that at all. She said she was going to take care of that herself. Any ideas?

My Response to BOTH:

Dear BoyFriend;

You two need to just communicate how you feel. I think that she just wanted something more meaningful, and since she can buy her own cell phone once she gets paid, she rather have something else. I do understand what you are trying to do though, and I do think that it is very thoughtful and personally I wouldn’t mind it as a gift for my birthday if my budget was tight and I had to wait to get paid to get a new cell phone. However, every women is different, and if she wants to pay for her own cell phone, I say let her! Get her something else more romantic or something else she may really like. I think she was thinking more jewelry or something from the heart. Good Luck!

Question #2 from GF:

Dear GirlFriend;

I think it is thoughtful of him to want to get you the cell phone because he’s thinking about you in the way that he knows you are tight on money right now and thought that would be a good gift. Honestly I think for your age you are being a little selfish, I also understand that jewelry (not so expensive) or something more sentimental more personal is always much nicer, but I do not think he is trying to get you the cell phone to try to be cheap or anything like that, it is still an $80 dollar phone. I think that you are both struggling with this, and it is something that should be talked about between the two of you more clearly, I know you said you already told him how you felt, but maybe you need to just word it a bit differently. It’s your birthday and don’t worry so much about the gift, rather then having someone to share it with and enjoy your day!

By the way…. I do not mean to offend you by calling you selfish, I understand you want a more personal gift, but I do think that your boyfriend is just trying to help and he thought it would be thoughtful and well needed since you said you are tight on money. You need to just tell him how you feel and tell him you just rather prefer a more personal gift rather than the phone but that you appreciate him trying to help. Good luck….

Happy Early Bday by the, try to enjoy and not worry about your gift so much… 🙂

xo,
kristin nicole

I found these questions on Answers.Yahoo.com

The Question:

Should a wife be able to loan out the husbands truck while he is gone to work? Truck has been owned by husband for decades long before wife came along, wife is not even on the title or registration! Husband comes home from work and truck is not in garage! Husband flips!

Then file’s for divorce! Because if he cant trust her with his things while he is away how can he trust her when she is with someone else! That’s what he told her!

My Response:

Dear Talk About Over-Reacting;

So the wife loaned out her husbands car which he doesn’t loan out to anyone and he came home to find his truck missing? I understand him getting upset and angry, and that is understandable but DIVORCE is a big way to go. I am assuming this someone else was a MAN? If this is the case, I still do not think it is in need of a divorce, although I can understand there being a trust issue, personally, I would never lend my boyfriends car to anyone, especially without asking. There needs to be some kind of communication here, and if she is cheating on him, this is a totally different question/story. I think something else is going on here, I really don’t think getting or wanting a divorce is because she lend out his truck to someone?!? When you are married, I understand that certain things are still yours and yours alone, but this is just ridiculous! Talk things out, try to find out why she would just lend the car out, and who this person was, if you really feel you can’t trust her, then perhaps a divorce is the way to go, but if you just overreact with out trying to make things work then perhaps there is something more going on besides lending out your car?
Good luck

xo
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

The Question:

I am 37 never had a girlfriend and only made out 3 times, all while drunk in my life. I had a bad childhood and that caused me to not talk to women and ignore them. I was never really social in the first place, but a lot less with women. Is it bad that I am a loner for life? I am not afraid that I will be dying alone, but people look at me like I am crazy when casually talking about relationships and I say I have never had a girlfriend or had sex. Is it that bad or unbelievable that they would react in such an exaggerated way?? I mean its not like I don’t have sexual feelings, I have a few pocket ******* and masturbate a lot, so not like I have no sexual feelings.

My Response:

Dear 37 Year Old Virgin;

It is not that there is something wrong, it is that society tells us that by a certain age we have sex, and that by a certain age we get married and have kids. If you want to be alone and never be in a relationship that is totally 100% your choice, but if you are only saying this or choosing to be alone because you feel that you will never get anyone that is a totally different story. You are 37 years old and you have only kissed 3 girls in your entire life and only while drunk. Why do you think you have only tried kissing these girls but only while you were drunk? Perhaps the alcohol gave you a little push, made you feel more confident in yourself. Having a bad childhood ( I do not know what happened) can definitely cause someone to not know how to talk to woman or be afraid of being in a relationship. Love can be messy and sad and complicated, but love can be the best thing that can ever happen to you. So truly ask yourself, are you NOT in a relationship because you truly choose it, and because you really just want to be alone for the rest of your life, without ever experiencing a touch of another person??? Or do you think about being with a women, having that love, and wanting to share your life with someone??? You are 37 years old, this is the time to make that decision. Be confident about yourself, sure you may get turned down a lot, but there is always someone out there for someone. You can always try on-line dating chats or having a friend try and get you on a date. If you truly choose to be alone, then good for you! Do what makes you happy and don’t worry so much about what other people tell you or what they say. Society isn’t always right you know?!?

xo
kristin nicole

I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

PS. The picture above is not the person who asked this question, it is a random photo found on google images.