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Category: Relationships

  • Im 15 years old thinking of killing myself…

    The Question:

    I’m 15 years old thinking of killing myself because my ex broke up with me, advice? We were really really good friends and I made the move of telling him that I liked him (which I think was a mistake!) he said he wanted to be with me forever and I wanted to be with him forever! I still do. He broke up with me, and I cried like crazy! Then I see him at school and he was being really nice to me and he asked me to get back with him and he apologized and said it would never happen again . Well he did it again that same week, and that just really hurt me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I think of him everyday! I just really need love! I feel so empty!! I JUST WANT TO ****** DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please help….

    My Response:

    Dear Sadness;

    Your first love is the hardest to ever get over. I remember the first time my heart broke, it felt like a glass shattering into a million pieces, I felt like I would never feel happy again, like my world was crashing down on me and there was no where to run. Once you stop for a second and you really think about how your relationship was, if he every truly cared about you to do something like this, you start to realize that maybe things just weren’t meant to be. I am not saying the pain will just go away, but you are only 15. At 15 we feel like our world will fall apart because that boy doesn’t love us anymore, but the truth is, our world stays in intact, our world keeps moving and eventually so do we. You have to be strong, and maybe you should talk to him and ask him why he keeps breaking up with you? Sometimes boys, especially at that age, do not know how to express themselves as well as we would like them to, but ask him anyway, why he is breaking up with you. At least this way you can at least have piece of mind and move on. You deserve better but a true friend, a person who truly loves you wouldn’t hurt you. You are still so very young, and trust me there are so many other boys out there for you. You might get hurt again and you may hurt a boys heart one day, but that is part of life, that is what makes us who we are and that is what makes us stronger to live our lives. Don’t ever feel like you want to die for a man, trust me they aren’t worth it. Love is beautiful and when you find that right love you will know it’s there forever. Stay strong, hang out with your friends and get your mind off him, but know that you are better than that and dieing will only cause more pain to your family and friends that love you so very much. Dieing is only an easy way out of not feeling pain, we all have to feel pain so that we can become better and make the same mistakes of the past. Have confidence in yourself and self respect to not go back out with him. Ever heard that saying “Hurt me once shame on you, hurt me twice shame on Me”. It’s true, you have the power to decide, you have the power to move on and find someone who will respect you and love you for you.

    Remember life is hard, but I promise, it doesn’t always feel that way.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My boyfriend is a marine, and wants to annul a marriage

    The Question:

    Would he get sent to jail for this? He’s only a Lance Corporal and tells me that he could get into big trouble if he annuls or divorces and wants to separate from his wife… but he wants to to marry me instead. We live in California and he goes to Camp Pendleton. Can Someone help me please? They got married last Thursday, less than a week ago, and from what I researched, nothing happens between the marines and him because annulment is a civil matter. I don’t know what to believe.

    My Response:

    Dear Pendleton;

    NO he will not get in trouble. I have known many marines and many who went to Camp Pendleton who married, divorced, separated etc. he just got married on Thursday with this girl and already wants an annulment, I am not understanding how he is already your boyfriend, yet just got married on Thursday and already wants an annulment and wants to marry you. Something about this story just isn’t right…. You need to open your eyes and get out of this relationship ASAP! His rank has nothing to do with anything, I would make sure what his true reasons for not wanting to divorce her is. The only way he can get in trouble is if they find out he cheated on his wife, I do not know if he was still with her when you got together (I don’t see how he wasn’t considering they were just married less than a week ago) or if you got together after they were separated. I know it’s hard to hear but it’s possible that they are still together and he is lying to you. (This is me saying it in a nice way), Let him take care of his issues and if you are meant to be, he’ll come back, if not you deserve someone who isn’t already taken. Find the truth now before you waste more of your time. Bluntly — Leave the looser and find a real man, someone who doesn’t go around cheating and marrying women and divorcing them in less than a week. Good luck!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My wife and I only have sex once a month or so…

    The Question:

    My wife and I only have sex once a month or so…..?
    But I need to have an orgasm 2-3 times a week……..I am getting very frustrated but she refuses to talk. Just lately I am getting tempted to find an alternative solution…But I don’t want to have an affair……Has anyone managed to solve a similar problem…(a partner who isn’t very interested in sex/sexuality and can’t talk about personal things!). By the way, she refuses counseling (before you say ‘Relate’!!).

    My Response:

    Dear Frustrated;

    The other alternative is always playing with yourself. I understand it still isn’t the same, but it definitely beats cheating on your wife. You need to communicate with her, see why she isn’t wanting to have sex but only once a month. Maybe she is really stressed out about something, or something deeper is lying in the reasons for not wanting to be intimate with her husband. Nip this now though, I am assuming you guys aren’t that old to already be giving up on sex. Try to spice things up and make things romantic, maybe this will get her in the mood. I understand being tired, or not being in the mood, but ONCE A MONTH! That is unacceptable, sex with your husband or boyfriend is very important, it is a big part of a relationship, and if you aren’t happy, this is something she needs to understand. You said she doesn’t want counseling, maybe you need to wake her up by telling her how you feel, that you feel like finding other alternatives, I know it’s harsh but why wouldn’t she want to be intimate with her husband a little more than just once a month? Talk to her again, and try to spice up the love life, maybe that will help a little. Good luck!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Should my wife pay Child Support?

    The Question:

    Should my wife pay child support, she cheated is cohabitating w/ the new guy, left our 3 kids too, should she? All 3 beautiful kids are with me. She works full time and so do I. I am having to pay (alone) for after school care for my kids, and I pay for all the kids needs, clothes, food, bills, etc. She left the kids and I, and I rent a home still. She lives with the other man in an apartment and is going to be saving money to buy a better car, new bedroom set and split a rental home with him in the fall for $1,600 a month down the middle with the other man. I really don’t want anything from her though; but will the court order her to pay since all 3 will be with me as she does not want to raise them? I have an email that clearly states she does not want to raise them. She fears I will ask for child support and yet says she does NOT want to give me anything to help out. Says she is not required to. I think she is living in La La Land. We have been married 15 years and the other guy was cheated on by his now ex-wife, they have 2 little kids of their own…

    She can’t get custody of the kids, says my divorce attorney, since she tried to commit suicide by overdosing on prescription meds in 2004. It is documented by a police report. There was even a suicide note the police confiscated and an office “Prescription Drug Abuser” diagnosis by the local mental hospital that she was sent to. All in my favor and a slam dunk for full child custody to go to me, because of her past issues. My attorney says she really buried herself. Also, she has no clue about the ramifications of her issues/actions. Just to clarify, the children are with me. Thank God. I love them so and would do anything for them. She is actually pretty “thick-headed” in that she emails me and instant messages me like I’m a father-figure to her. I never respond. The e-mails and instant messages just keep on coming from her with all the juicy info that she is burying herself with. We all agree that she has reverted back to a gitty teenager. Including her best female friend too, she believes my wife is a teenager in her mind now.
    She is so into the other man, that I think part of her is blind. She only sees the kids, once or twice a month, for a day. I believe that if the kids want to see her, they should. She is still their mother and I want them to know that I agree with that. Believe me, My kids are 14, 8, and 6. I think the cards are all in my favor, if you read all above. I do not fear her in the least. I just don’t want her to try to come back to me for mercy once the other man leaves her sorry ***. He is a surfer who works part-time. She works full-time and he will end up using her *** in multiple ways and then kicking her to the curb for a hotter and younger girl I think. She is 36 years old.
    No, for the record, I do not want her (a cheater) to me and the kids back ever. Never. Ever…………… nope, no thank you nurse…..
    Anyway, I just want my kids to have love (which they get tons of from me as a loving parent), I want what is best for them and to protect them through this and as they grow. Please help (advise).

    My Response:

    Dear Super Parent;

    Your question was detailed and long, so I left a few things out you originally wrote that I felt didn’t need to be included in your description. On to your dilemma… if you have a lawyer for your divorce this is a question that you should be asking your lawyer, if your lawyer knowing all these details didn’t ask you if you wanted to collect child support then I advise you get a new lawyer. I am not an expert and it depends what state you live in, but I am pretty sure that custody battles and child support are fairly almost the same in every state. If your ex-wife thinks she will not have to pay child support, she has something coming to her. Just because she is a woman does not mean anything. I know a few women that have had to pay child support because the father has full custody. If you have an agreement on what she will pay that is different, but you can definitely take her to court and ask her for child support. I would definitely get a lawyer and fight her for child support, she not only cheated on you, she cheated on your family, and only seeing them 1 or 2 times a month is unacceptable, I do not understand how some parents can just pick up and leave their families like that.

    On another note; you are doing an incredible job, sticking with your children and raising them, keep it up, not many men would know what to do in your position. Always remember your kids come first, don’t let your ex-wife try to squeeze back into your life after her little affair plays out. I agree with you that kids have every right to see her, but if she is still suicidal, I do not think I would trust her with them alone. Be careful, and make sure you have all your cards right on the table. My advice, file for full custody if you haven’t already (make sure it is documented), file for her to pay child support, and Find yourself a new lawyer, if he didn’t already recommend all this to you. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I need my husbands support.

    The Question:

    I need my husbands support, why isn’t he helping me? Tomorrow I am going to the hospital for an ENT appointment (ear, nose and throat specialist) I have been having the feeling of food getting stuck in my throat and tomorrow I’m getting a scope down my throat. I have moved miles away from all my family to be with my husband and he is the only person I have in my area. I am very scared, worried and nervous about tomorrow and I would like it if my husband came with me to support me, but he wont come. he said he will be going to work. In a way I’m very disappointed in him, it’s not like I’m going for a normal doctors appointment you know. What should I do?

    My Response:

    Dear ENT;

    You have to understand he is going to work, he isn’t just sitting at home while you are going to the doctors office. Also, you are just going to a doctors appointment and although it may be a little scary for you and it’s not a normal check up, I can see why you are a bit scared and would want him by your side. I know you asked him to go with you, but did you explain to him why you want him to go, maybe if he knew that you were really scared and you only wanted him to meet you there during his lunch hour or something he would consider going. If he refuses just because he doesn’t want to go, I think that is a little ‘jerkish’ on his side, considering you do not have any family there to go with you, if he does have to work, then you need to understand. You aren’t about to go into surgery for something, if you were then I would definitely say he needs to go with you. Try talking to him again and really explaining why you want him to go, and ask if maybe he can just meet you there during his lunch hour (he doesn’t need to miss a whole day of work for this). Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Filing for Divorce & Bank account

    The Question:

    My husband and I are going through a divorce, he just filed (FINALLY!!!!) and we live in Cali. I’m currently in Maine and would like to know if I open a bank account would he be able to take the money in MY account if he wanted to? Before he filed for divorce we had a joint account and he took all the money in that and closed the account. I’m not using a lawyer, nor is he so I’m just going to let it go.

    Will I be safe if I open my own account in Maine?

    Thanks!

    My Response:

    Dear Maine;

    Call a lawyer and check the laws where you will be finalizing your divorce (You can get a free consultation); however, I do not think he can take money out of your personal account in another state or another bank. He was able to take all the money from your joint account because he was under the account with you. He should not be able to access your account or have any of the information if you are opening a new account with only your name. Make sure to add a security question so if he tries calling saying that he is your husband the bank will know to ask the security question first. You can also have the bank note that he should not call or access anything under your account. Good luck, and sorry about the divorce, but I am sure you are better off without him.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I want to leave home, what do I do?

    The Question:

    Starting at a young age I have been abused both mentally & physically… I am 18 now with a Boyfriend who keeps telling me to wait until I graduate which isn’t until next year. I feel that if I don’t leave now I am going to end up hurting them or myself. ** I plan to marry this guy… he’s going to propose when I graduate ( he is 20)** What should I do?

    My Response:

    Dear Abused;

    First you need to seek some type of counseling, I know sometimes it is hard to talk to someone, but sometimes it is what you need to feel better. Being abused mentally and physically isn’t something any child should have to render. You are 18, what are you doing still at home with an abusive family? Get out now, and get out fast, you do not have to stand for that kind of abuse any longer. It is going to be hard to be on your own, but if your boyfriend isn’t willing to move in together than you are going to have to make a hard decision and move out on your own. Find a job first before you move out and then find an apartment and move out. If your boyfriend who is 20 years old has a job and is going to marry you like you say when you graduate from high school, then I do not see any reason why he wouldn’t just want to move in with you now, to get you out of that house. Talk to your boyfriend first and if he isn’t willing to move in with you even after you guys have talked about getting married, I would re-evaluate your relationship, because I do not understand why he would allow or want you to stay in an abusive household. Get a job, find a place and move out. You deserve better.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I just don’t know what to do anymore?

    The Question:

    About two weeks ago my husband told me that he doesn’t love me anymore, that the reason why was because I wasn’t keeping up on the house and it started eating at the love. I tried with the house but 5 kids and being pregnant it was hard, but after a few days he wanted to work this out. So we got back together. A week ago I had to deliver my baby girl at 16 weeks as a still born, so now I am going through the pain of losing my daughter. After losing her I felt like things just weren’t going to work out with my husband and I, and he kept telling me things will be okay, that he does love me and we will get through this. Well last night a week the day the doctors told me my baby was gone, he said that he can’t do this, he can’t make his self love me, that by now there should of been some feelings coming back. I told him it just doesn’t take a few weeks, but he said they won’t come back, that he just keeps lying to me and that its killing him. I’ve told him lets go talk to someone but he said no. Everyone keeps saying that their might be another woman but I looked into it and this is not the case. I just wish there was something I could do to make him love me again. I shouldn’t be going though this right now, and I know he’s hurting over the baby too but we should be helping each other out. I’ve told him that I’m his back bone and that he’s mine. I really just don’t know what to do. I love him so much. That its going to hurt not being with him…

    My Response:

    Dear Five;

    Finding out someone doesn’t love you anymore after building a life together, having children, losing one, is the second hardest thing you are going to have to go through (the first — Losing a child).

    You can not make someone love you, and having more time doesn’t make someone love you either. It’s hard and it hurts but do you really want to be with someone that doesn’t love you back, someone that doesn’t love you the way you love them? I agree that this is the time you needed to get closer to each other because of your baby, however, him having these feelings of not loving you anymore happened before this. I think he should have told you sooner before having so many children and you getting pregnant again, but men are cowards and perhaps he didn’t know how to tell you how he felt. He might have thought time would change his feelings too, but in time you only realize that if the feelings aren’t there, they aren’t coming back. Sometimes we do not understand life, and sometimes we have to go through the hardest times of our lives alone. I am sure you have family and friends, start leaning on them, because your journey has just begun. You have to be strong for your other children, respect yourself enough to let your husband go. You deserve someone that will love you the same way you love them (unconditionally), someone who won’t have to wait to love you, or think about loving, just someone who just LOVES you.
    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Should I leave my Girlfriend?

    The Question:

    Should I leave my girlfriend, I love her more than anything in this s**t hole called earth,but I am a lost cause…I wish her the best and with me she cant have it. The one thing i am good at is bringing suffering to others around me. I know she could do better than me, she is a very good person, too good for a bastard like me. I don’t know what I will do without her but it is not about me, it is about her having a better life,so should I leave her?

    My Response:

    Dear Better;

    Lets start off with why you believe earth is a big s**t hole, why do you feel that you bring only suffering to others and why do you feel that you aren’t good enough for your girlfriend? Sounds to me like you need to talk to someone, you sound depressed and this isn’t healthy. Life comes with it’s up and downs, and I don’t know what happened to you for you to think this way, but if you have a girlfriend, I’m thinking somewhere down the line you did something right. Something that made this girl like you enough to date you. I do not think you should break up with your girlfriend because you are having pity for yourself. Get up and do something about it, talk to someone, start feeling better about yourself and life. Life can be a s**t hole, I won’t lie, but Life can also be wonderful, happy, astonishing. Look around you, look at your girlfriend that you love so much, do you want a better life for her? Then make one for her, with you in it. It is possible, no one person is jinxed to bring suffering to everyone around them. Think positive and have faith in yourself, confidence that you are the right one for your girlfriend. If you still feel like wallowing up in your own sorrow, then break up with your girlfriend and go figure out what it is you need to do to make yourself feel better, but stop feeling sorry for yourself and get out there. Find what it is you want and life and make it happen. I hope you find the help you need, the happiness we all deserve and the love that is right in front of you.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Married 22 yrs & nothing to show for it

    The Question:

    I’ve been married 22 years and I feel like I don’t have anything to show for. I mean I didn’t go to college, I chose to get married and have kids, but now that I’m 42 yrs old, I feel like I have nothing to show for it. Am I having a mid life crisis? We don’t really do anything as a couple. I need more for some reason. Please help!

    Additional Details
    I don’t know what to say to my husband anymore without him thinking I want to be with another man cause I don’t want another man. I want a life!!!

    My Response:

    Dear Need More;

    I do not think you are having a mid-life crisis, I just think that now that your kids are all grown up and you are at home that you are bored. Do you work? You are still young, go back to school if you want. You can go to an actual campus or you can try on-line classes, I know so many people your age that go back to school and get their degrees, it’s never too late. You chose to get married young and have your kids and that isn’t a bad thing, you may just be feeling a bit bored/lost since your kids are all grown up and you said you don’t really do things with your husband as a couple. Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. If you have tried telling him, make plans and show him what you want. Tell him exactly what you told us here “I don’t want another man. I want a life!!!” Life is too short for you to sell yourself short now, figure out what it is you really want and go for it.
    Good luck!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com