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Category: Relationships

  • Advice Column: I like my brother’s best friend

     

    Advice Column: I like my brother's best friend. Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: I like my brother’s best friend. Image found on flickr.com

    Advice Column: I like my brother’s best friend. We flirt sometimes, but I don’t know if he really likes me, what should I do?

    My friends brother is a year older than me and I started being interested in him. I started hanging out with his friends a lot more often and I see him a lot. He always smiles at me and teases me and will flirt with me. And tonight his friend stole my phone and to his friend [sic] I was like “omg I’m gonna kill you!” And then my crush was like “not until I kill you first” and he said it really sexually and was really close to me. I really like him. I don’t know if he likes me because when we were playing truth or dare, my friend asked him if he liked me and he said “Yeah sure.. I like a lot of people” and I was like what…? Does he like me, please help?

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Brother’s Sister;

    Going after your brother’s best friend can have consequences. You can ruin your brothers friendship if something were to happen, your brother may not approve or it can work out all for the best. If you really like him and you are sure he’s been flirting back, then just ask him. But make sure you are ready for either answer. He may just be nice to you, and like you as his best friend’s sister. So be prepared if it’s not the answer you really want.

    xo

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: I feel empty after having sex with an ex

    Advice Column: Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: I feel empty after having sex with an ex. Image found on flickr.com

    The Question: I feel empty after having sex with an ex girlfriend. Why do I feel like this?

    Ok so here’s the deal, I’m 19 and I just got out of this really intimate relationship with a girl about 2 months ago and I have been feeling like garbage ever since. Well about a week ago my very first girlfriend from 3 years ago (stupid high school relationship) came back into my life and we started chatting and hitting it off really well. Well one night as I was driving her home we shared a moment of weakness; I guess and had a goodnight kiss [sic]. A few days later we both agreed that it was inappropriate and we should just stay friends.

    So a few days later we hang out at my house and watch a movie, and one thing leads to another, and we have sex. Now before we had sex, we agreed that it was going to just be a hook up with no feelings, and I’m fine with that. What guy wouldn’t right? But now its like 3 days later and I just don’t feel right for some reason, and I don’t know why. I’m not mad or sad but I’m not happy or content. I just feel blah. Anyone want to help explain why I feel this way? And why I can’t just brush it off and move on? We are still friends as far as I know, but should I talk to her about it or just let it go?

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Sex with an Ex;

    Sounds to me like you have feelings for this girl, and you just haven’t admitted it to yourself. If you truly don’t have feelings then maybe you just feel bad because you like the friendship. There is obviously a physical attraction on both ends. Is there a reason you two don’t want to try dating again. People grow and change from high school, so just because it didn’t work back then doesn’t mean it won’t work now. If it’s really bothering you, I would just talk to her, if she’s your friend there is nothing wrong with expressing how you feel. You also just got out of a serious relationship, so this can be confusing to you. Everyone moves on at their own pace, just because it’s only been 2 months, it doesn’t mean you can’t have feelings for someone else. Especially someone you already know and dated in the past. Truly be honest with yourself and the situation. If you feel bad, then maybe it’s best you guys don’t let things get to that level again. Good luck.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: My ex-boyfriend left me for a 35 year old

     

    Advice Column: My ex-boyfriend left me for a 35 year old. Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: My ex-boyfriend left me for a 35 year old. Image found on flickr.com

    The Question: My ex-boyfriend left me for a 35 year old girl and we are both 22 years old. What should I do?

    My Response: 

    Dear Ex;

    There really isn’t anything you can do. If he left you for someone else then you have to try and move on. I know it’s not easy but everything happens for a reason. You may not see it now but he probably did you a favor. Besides, do you really want to be with someone who didn’t care enough about you. If he left you for someone else, then you deserve someone who wants to be with you and will love only you. Try going out with friends and keep yourself busy. It’s going to hurt, but truth is, there isn’t anything you can do but move on.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: She dumped me over an email

    Advice Column: She dumped me over an email. Image by: Kristin Nicole
    Advice Column: She dumped me over an email. Image by: Kristin Nicole

    The Question: She dumped me over an email, what should I do?

    She emailed me saying; ” I don’t want to see you anymore. I am not able to say this in person….”

    Nowhere in the email  is she worried about how I would be doing after this, and she didn’t even mention that she’s sorry or anything. Not that I expect this. Anyway, I am really sad and I feel like I was used for the sex. How do I deal with this? It feels so bad. Please help.

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Email;

    She’s breaking up with you over email, which means she is probably not too worried about how you feel. If you feel like things aren’t resolved between the two of you then try contacting her and try talking to her. Unfortunately the fact is, she broke up with you over an email. Do you really want to be with someone who didn’t have the courage to talk to you in person? Relationships are hard, but it definitely isn’t cool to break up with someone via email or text. It sucks that you feel used, but just take it as it is, at least it was fun while it lasted. If she doesn’t want to talk in person and you can’t reach her through email, then just move on. Go out with your friends and have some fun. Take your mind off this relationship and move on.

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: Should I marry him?

    Advice Column: Should I marry him? Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: Should I marry him? Image found on flickr.com

    The Question: Should I marry him?

    I am supposed to get married next year and a few months ago I have been having many doubts about my future with him. He doesn’t like going outside, he spends all his time on the laptop, playing darts or at the gym and I barley get to see him. I feel as though he prefers not spending time with me or our son, and that we have nothing in common. I quit my job and moved 23 miles away from my family and friends for him and I don’t think he understands how much I have actually sacrificed. Is this cold feet? Am I making stuff up or should I really not be with this person? We have good times together but lately I have been feeling very alone. Should I marry him?

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Confused;

    I think there is cold feet when committing to someone in a marriage, but it usually involves just getting a little scared to spend the rest of your life with someone. It sounds like you are unhappy. You should definitely think about what you want. You don’t want to marry someone if you aren’t in love with them. If you really love him, then you need to talk to him. I’m not sure how old you are, but it sounds like your boyfriend is very immature. If you have a child together, he needs to be more involved. Definitely don’t marry him just because you feel obligated. Marriage is a commitment and you should be 110% sure before you go through with it. If you don’t have an exact date set, then I would wait. Talk to him, and try to work things out if it’s what you really want. But it sounds to me like you may already know what you want, you just don’t want to see it. Good luck.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: I was molested when I was younger

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    The Question: I was molested when I was younger. I don’t think I will ever find love, get married or have kids. Where do I go from here?

    I was molested when I was 11 and 12, and I was bullied by most of the kids in school all through junior high and high school. Because of this, I’m not a confident person. I’ve never dated anyone, I don’t like being touched, and I don’t see how anyone could love me anyway. How do you tell someone in one breath that you never dated and the next that you aren’t a virgin? I’ve gone to psychologists, but I feel like they are a waste of money. I’m now 32, and I’ve accepted that I’m going to be alone the rest of my life. But, I’m afraid that I’m going to become this bitter old woman who makes everyone in her life miserable. I already have days that I feel bitter about it. How do I keep from becoming bitter and miserable? I know everyone has trials they have to go through, but I don’t understand why I had to go through these particular trials. They say that your life is what you make of it, but it’s not so easy to be happy and outgoing when you spent years of your life being told you are worthless and ugly and stupid and just not worth the time of day. I have tried to change myself, but it didn’t help. I still have that voice in the back of my head telling me I’m worthless. So I just exist. And what’s the point of life if you just exist? Now don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t kill myself. I have my faith, it took me years to find it, and I don’t believe in committing suicide, but it doesn’t keep me from questioning the point of my existence.  Really, what is the point? I used to have dreams of getting married and having kids, and I don’t have those anymore. I gave up dreaming of things long ago, because it hurts too much, and I’m tired of being disappointed. Where do I go from here?

    My Response:

    Dear Hard Life;

    I am so sorry for what you have been through. I can’t imagine having gone through what you did and surviving it. I don’t think you give yourself enough credit. You found faith and you found a way to live life. You may not be living it to the fullest but you are living it.

    I would suggest talking to a psychologist but it seems you have already been doing that. I wouldn’t stop doing it, but I would suggest perhaps finding a group of people to talk to. Sometimes there are groups in your area of people who have been through the same thing. Sometimes it’s easier to accept what has happened, knowing that you are not the only one out there who has gone through what you have been through.

    They do say everything happens for a reason, unfortunately we don’t always know what those reasons are. I’m not going to lie, if you don’t like being touched, it will be difficult to have a relationship with someone. But maybe if you meet the right person you can push through your fear of being intimate with them.

    It can’t be easy to admit you have never dated and then turn around and say you aren’t a virgin. But I think you are also over thinking this. It’s not an easy conversation to have with a man, but if he really cares about you, he won’t care what you have been through. You don’t have to start the conversation with I have never dated and by the way I am not a virgin. Just meet a guy and go out on a date. Talk normal conversations. If the subject of sex comes up, then you explain what happened to you. You don’t have to go into details if you don’t want to, but you can explain that it was a hard time for you and that it took you a while to get through it.

    Just because this happened to you, doesn’t mean that you will be alone and never have kids for the rest of your life. You are putting limitations in your life. Don’t ever limit the power of love and what the future has in store for you. Whenever that little voice in the back of your head tells you how worthless you are, you have to STOP yourself. Remind yourself how beautiful you are and that you deserve happiness like any other person. No one deserves to go through what you did, but this does not mean that you are worthless or that you don’t deserve to find love and be happy.

    Don’t ever give up on your dreams of finding love and having kids. Think positive thoughts, be positive and you will see what a difference this will do in your life. Remember that you are beautiful and that you deserve to be happy. Just because bad things happened to you when you were younger, doesn’t mean your life has to stop, or that you are limited to certain things in life. Once you truly accept what happened to you, you will be able to move on. I’m not saying it will be easy, there will probably be days that bring you back to that time period, but you have to try to pull yourself away from those thoughts and think about the good that has entered your life. Think happy thoughts. Go out there, meet friends and guys and have fun. Don’t ever think that you are worthless, because you are not.

    Remember that.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

  • Advice Column: How do I piss my wife off?

    Advice Column: How do I piss my wife off? Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: How do I piss my wife off? Image found on flickr.com

    The Question: How do I piss my wife off?

    I get so sick of her smiling and being happy all of the time. I want her to feel angry like I do all of the time. I want her to carry a harsh burden like I always do. Please leave suggestions?

    My Response:

    Dear Unhappy Husband;

    You definitely have a serious inner issue that needs to be resolved. People who are miserable always want others to feel the way they do. This is not the answer, nor is it going to make you feel any better about yourself. If you aren’t happy, then get out of the relationship. Don’t bring her down with you. I’m not sure how old you are, but this is a very childish way of thinking. If you cared or loved your wife, you would want her to be happy, you wouldn’t want her to feel whatever sadness you are carrying around. If you are feeling burdened and unhappy, you should talk to a professional psychologist. You need help and you need to find the reasons behind your thoughts.

    xo

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: How do I tell him I’m pregnant?

     

    Advice Column: How do I tell him I'm pregnant? Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: How do I tell him I’m pregnant? Image found on flickr.com

    The Question: How do I tell him I’m pregnant?

    I just found out this morning that I’m pregnant. I really want this baby, but my boyfriend won’t want it. He’s already told me that he doesn’t want to have another baby, because he already has one with a previous relationship. He told me that I would have to get rid of it, if I ever got pregnant. even though he knows I don’t agree with abortions. Never have. I really want this baby, but I know he won’t want it, and he will tell me to get rid of it or try to get rid of it himself. He’s threatened to do this before. I don’t know what to do or how to even tell him.

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Prego;

    It’s not his choice as to whether or not you want to keep the baby. If you knew he didn’t want a child then you both should have used protection. The deed is done, but first I would go to the doctor to confirm you are pregnant. Sometimes the test over the counter can have a false positive. Once you have confirmed with the doctor that you are pregnant then you will have to talk to him. It will be your decision to stay with him or leave him and raise this baby on your own. Although he has said he doesn’t want another baby, he may change his mind once he knows you are pregnant. If he doesn’t change his mind and he’s adamant about you getting an abortion, then you need to stick up for yourself and decide what you want to do for you and your child. What do you mean, that he’s told you he would get rid of the baby, if you don’t? That sounds like a threat, and you shouldn’t be with someone who is telling you that. That is a serious statement. If you have family and friends, go to them. Talk to them first and have them help you out with this situation. Bringing a child into the world is a big responsibility, you need to make sure you are making the right decision before making it.

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: Is my boyfriend gay?

    Advice Column: Is my boyfriend Gay? Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: Is my boyfriend Gay? Image found on flickr.com

    Advice Column: Is my boyfriend gay?

    I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 months now. I sometimes don’t know if he’s in the closet, because he gives off vibes that he may be gay. I really like him, but I don’t want to be his cover story, for being straight. He’s told me how strict his parents are, and how he’s felt that he has to hide who he really is in front of them. I’ve asked him, what he meant by this, but he’s always really vague. Recently my friends saw him out at the movies with another guy. When I asked him about it, he just told me it was an old friend and to drop it. I found a text one time that came from a guy friend that I know is gay, and he was asking if they were on for their date. I’m feeling so confused. If he’s gay, why would he ask me out? Do I ask him if he’s gay? I’m scared he will break up with me if he’s not gay and I upset him for asking such a stupid question. Please help.

    My Response:

    Dear Girlfriend;

    Just because he was out with another guy at the movies doesn’t mean he is gay. Did your friend see him doing something other than just being at the movies with a guy friend? If she didn’t see him kissing the guy, then he could have just been at the movies with a friend.

    With that said; it is a bit strange that he’s mentioned he can’t be himself around his parents, and if he was just going to the movies with a friend, why would he hide that from you? As for the text from a gay friend, some gay friends can just say “date” and it doesn’t mean anything. You have two options, continue dating him and wondering if he’s really gay or not. Or just straight out ask him about the text and go from there. I’m not going to lie; he may get mad. If I had a boyfriend who asked me if I was a lesbian and I’m not, I would probably be bothered. But you can’t continue in a relationship with someone you think is possibly lying about their sexuality.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

     

  • Advice Column: Would it be stalking if I text my Ex?

    Advice Column: Would it be stalking if I text my Ex?

    Advice Column: Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: Would it be staking if I text my Ex? Image found on flickr.com

    The Question: Would it be stalking if I text my ex?

    My ex boyfriend and I broke up yesterday, and he wants to be friends. He still calls me baby girl. If I text him, would I be stalking him?

    My Response:

    Dear Ex;

    Texting an ex does not make you a stalker. If you start following him around, and becoming obsessed then yes, you would be a stalker. But you just broke up yesterday, why would you want to text him anyway? He told you he wanted to be friends with you and he’s still calling you baby girl, so it’s clearly okay to text him as a friend, but this is a decision you have to make. Sometimes being friends with an ex isn’t easy. I am not saying it’s impossible, but sometimes it’s better to take a break from that person to be able to move on. He’s an ex for a reason.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com