Advice Column: I love my friends boyfriend. Image found on flickr.com
The Question:
I love my friends boyfriend, what should I do?
Okay so basically I feel really bad, I’ve been out with this boy before. We broke up because someone spread rumors about us. We liked each other for a bit after and I carried on liking him. My other friend said he still likes you, I can tell, the way he looks at you.” By the way, he and I have always been really close friends so we hang around a lot, and when he told our group of friends that he loved his girl (one of my friends in our group) I was crushed. My best friend knows how I feel. I can trust her with my life so I know she wouldn’t tell anyone. What do I do?
(Edited)
My Response:
If he’s moved on with another friend of yours then you have to let it go. He has obviously moved on. I know it hurts and it sucks that he was your boyfriend and friend first but sometimes life isn’t fair. How long as your friend been dating your ex? Did she know he was your ex? Because this is another factor in this story. As a friend, I would never date my friends ex boyfriend. Now that she’s already dating him, I would let things go. If you say anything to your friend then you may lose that friendship. He made his choice by being with someone else, you have to find a way to move on.
Advice Column: What does he want? Photo on flickr.com
The Question:
What does he want? I don’t understand him at all.
My boyfriend and I dated on and off for 3 years. We’ve been broken up for 7 months now, but even after our breakup he would occasionally talk to me, just to ask how I’m doing, which I think was nice of him. He invited me over for dinner 2 months ago which was the last time I saw him. Ever since that night I haven’t heard back from him. I texted him 2 weeks ago saying ” long time no talk how are you?” But he never replied back to me, so I thought there was no point in trying anymore. I was randomly checking my Facebook last week and apparently he messaged me saying “how are you? “Miss you” I was shocked! We made some small talk and the last thing I sent to him was a smiley face. He hasn’t replied back to me since monday and I don’t think he will since its only a smiley face, but then why bother messaging me in the first place right? I just don’t understand why he did that? Problem is I still do care/love him.
(Edited)
My Response:
Sometimes when breakups happen, it’s better to stop talking to each other all together. You had an on and off relationship for three years. That’s a long time and that’s not something that is easy to get over. I am not sure why you guys broke up to begin with but it must have been for a reason, if not you would still be together. Texting or messaging each other and hanging out can only make things more confusing. If you are confused then maybe you need to sit down with him and talk to him about what is going on between the two of you. If things are over, he shouldn’t be messaging you that he misses you, that can confuse a person as to what is going on. If things are completely over then let things go, stop messaging him and move on.
Advice Column: Is my best friend into me? image found on flickr.com
Question: Is my best friend into me?
How to know if my best friend is now into me?
Response:
Just ask, it’s as simple as that. I know it’s easier said than done, but only true answers come from asking questions. If you don’t want things to be awkward then leave things alone. I don’t know the details of your relationship or why you think your best friend might be into you but it could be nothing.
Advice Column: Half naked pictures of my boyfriends ex on his phone. Image found on flickr.com
The Question:
I found half naked pictures of my boyfriends ex on his phone. Please help.
My boyfriend and I have been together off and on for 10 years. We have been going through a lot of things lately like loosing our house, the death of our 15 year old dog, and family issues. We have been fighting quite a bit. The other day he got a new phone and wanted me to install a new sim card (holds your photos) in his phone. When I went in to the picture area I noticed a half naked photo of a girl he use to date. There were two of them from a couple of months ago. During that time I yelled at him because I found out he was snap chatting her (sending pictures back and forth in an app.) He told me that they were just saying hi and catching up. I decided to let that go. But now I find out that when they were talking a couple of months ago, that this is when she actually sent him those pictures. I called him and packed some of my things and just left our house. He said that he has never cheated on me and never will. He knows he was in the wrong but he deleted the pictures and he didn’t know they were in his phone anymore. I personally think that what he did is cheating, but he doesn’t think it is. He said he did not cheat and I just do not know what to do. What should I do?
(Edited)
My Response:
This is a hard situation to be in. Your boyfriend may have not physically cheated on you but this is definitely a form of cheating; it’s emotional cheating. You should sit down with him and talk to him, tell him how you feel and tell him he has one chance to be completely honest with you. In the end it will be your decision as to whether or not you trust him and want to stay with him. Regardless of what happened, this will still hurt and you have to either forgive him and move on, or move on completely.
Advice Column: My boyfriend is bisexual. Image found on flickr.com
The Question:
My boyfriend is bisexual.
For starters we have been together about 6 years, I was 13 and he was 14 and we are now 19 and 20. We were talking about getting an apartment and moving in together, we found one we both like and we signed the lease. About 3 weeks after moving in he told me he kissed his best friend which is a guy, he said he is bisexual and he has said that he’s been bisexual since we started dating, but I’m starting to wonder if he is gay more than bisexual.
On top of that he cheated on me so I feel hurt and it being his best friend I don’t feel I have the right to make them stop talking. But I think he shouldn’t talk to him considering he should be thinking about my feelings in this situation, not his own since he is the one who did the damage. It’s been about a month and his best friend showed up at the house 3 days ago, I answered the door and I was supposed to be at work but he looked at me and literally ran away… like RAN. Made me very worried he was doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing or maybe he just wanted to hang out with his best friend. I don’t know what to do to. Should I be with him or not. All my friends just tell me **** him move on but they don’t realize that I’ve been with this guy since I can ever remember. I’m really looking for someone with similar problems or just good advice. Should I stay or should I go? What about his friend and everything that has happend? I’m lost and completely destroyed over it, please help.
(Edited)
My Response:
In any relationship you are in, the other person should never cheat, that is one of the biggest betrayals a person can do to another. You have to first think about what he did and think about being with a man that lied to you. Second, he’s obviously confused by saying he’s bisexual. You have been with him so long that maybe he felt embarrassed and is still confused about his sexuality. He might not be bisexual and he may be gay but maybe he doesn’t know how to come out and talk to you about it.
I think you really need to sit down and talk to him, communication is key in any relationship. Unfortunately you were young when you were first together and you are still very young. I know it’s hard to think about your life without him, but do you want to be with a man who cheated on you, and is confused about his sexuality? If his best friend showed up at your house when you weren’t supposed to be there and then ran away, that should tell you something. That definitely feels a little fishy, and I would confront him about it. Is this the type of man you really want to spend the rest of your life with? These are the questions you need to ask yourself. You deserve better, and if he really loves you he will be honest with himself and with you. It’s not going to be easy, if this relationship ends it’s all you have ever known, but I promise that things in time will get easier. Everything in life happens for a reason, even if we don’t understand them in the moment.
Advice Column: My friend is bisexual. Image found on flickr.com
The Question:
My friend is Bisexual, what should I say to her?
My friend told me and a load of other friends that she was bisexual over bbm (Basically a bc) [sic]. I’m going to see her at school tomorrow and she’s probably going to want to talk about it, but I have no idea how to respond.
I’ve only ever been in 2 relationships and I get pretty awkward when people talk about stuff like that, what could I say to her when she mentions it?
My Response:
Dear Friend;
If she’s a good friend of yours, don’t worry about it too much. She probably just wanted to be honest with her friends and a little support is probably all she’s looking for. It can’t be easy to come out to your friends, so just try to be there for her. To be honest with you, there really isn’t much to say, if you accept her the way she is, just let her know that you respect and support her no matter who she likes. She may be confused and just wants support from her friends, the best thing you can do is be there for her. Support her and listen to her, don’t stress about what to say or do. Just be there for her.
Advice Column: Cheated on my girlfriend. Image found on Flickr.com
Advice Column: Cheated on my girlfriend and now I need help.
My girlfriend and I haven’t even been together for a month and I did something stupid. I wasn’t drunk or anything, it just happened and now I need help. I don’t want to lose her.
(Edited)
My Response:
Dear Cheater;
You have put yourself in a hard position. (No pun intended). You have choices in life; one you can tell her the truth. Be honest and hope that she forgives you. Know this is highly unlikely. If you really cared about your new girlfriend you wouldn’t have cheated on her. I don’t know how bad the circumstances are but cheating is cheating in any form you put it and it’s completely wrong. I’m guessing you already know this since you are asking for advice. There is no way to truly help you in this situation, you either tell her the truth and hope she forgives you, or you hide it from her in hopes she doesn’t find out. The problem with hiding the truth is that the truth always seems to find it’s way out. Good luck.
Advice Column: What do I do if I want to sleep with another man? Image found on Flickr.com
Advice Column: What do I do if I want to sleep with another man?Okay. This is kind of a long story, so please forgive me.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost a year. I love him very much, but I find myself thinking about another man. My boyfriend is a quadriplegic and I met him after his accident. Although this certainly has nothing to do with how I feel about him, it does make our sex life a bit complicated.
I feel terrible because I find myself being exhausted from always having to be on top when we do have sex and also feeling unfulfilled because we rarely have sex as it’s such a complicated process.
My boyfriend hasn’t told me he loves me yet and it definitely plays into my wandering eye problem. I feel like I continuously do the “man” like things in our relationship and I know it makes him feel as awful as it does me.
It’s so sad because had I known him before I KNOW our sex life would’ve been phenomenal. We have good sex now even though we can’t do everything a normal couple could.
I think the problem is I am just feeling the need to be manhandled and don’t know how to control these urges. Anyway, any advice would be great. No negative advice please. Thanks. 🙂My Response:Dear wondering eye; It’s normal to feel the way you feel when you are in an uncommon situation. First off, talk to your boyfriend. Tell him how you feel. I am not sure the extent of his condition, but is there a way you can have sex from the side position, just to switch things up? Try buying some toys to spice it up, this can help too. As far as being man-handled, this is a bit tough. If he’s not able to be rough with you at all then this is something you may have to deal with. Talk to him, see what he can do and can’t do. Just because he can’t throw you on the bed and be on top, doesn’t mean he can’t “man handle” you. If this is seriously causing problems in your relationship then you need to sit down and really think about what you want from this relationship. Don’t stay with him out of guilt, or because you feel bad for him. Look at the different options your life will lead if you stay or if you go. If you truly love him, communicate your feelings and find ways to make it work. Good luck. xo, kristin nicole I found this question on Yahoo.com
Advice Column: Is it ok if he hasn’t texted me in a day, no kiss after date? Image found on Flickr.com
The Question:
Is it ok if he hasn’t texted me in a day, no kiss after date?
I’ve been dating this guy that I met off a dating site. We’ve been getting to know each other and honestly it’s been going pretty well. No red flags miraculously, he picks me up (drive 30-40 minutes), pays for his share, and we have a lot to talk about. I wouldn’t be surprised or offended if he was dating other people though, his page is still active and so is mine. We hug before/after every date, but he hasn’t kissed me yet. I also haven’t gotten a text today but that’s fine I suppose considering we rarely text much anyway.
Am I beginning to look into things? I’m just worried I could be wasting my time but I don’t want to appear clingy.
(Edited)
My Response:
Dear Clingy;
It’s normal to feel this way, especially since you have just been dating casually and you haven’t really talked about where this is going. If you really like this guy, I would just be open and honest with him. It’s not that you are being too clingy, but the norm of dating is a first kiss and an eventual call or text. He may just not be that into you, but I don’t know the entire situation. Have you gone on more than one date? Has he done this before on other dates, where he doesn’t text you right away? This is a big factor in seeing if he is acting any different. If he’s done this before then I wouldn’t think anything bad about it, and I would just text him and quick hello, how are you? If he normally texts you, then maybe something is going on with him. I would talk to him, there is no other way to get an answer than to just ask. On another note; if he hasn’t kissed you yet, then maybe he’s just not that into you, he has someone else or he’s just really shy. There is nothing wrong with giving off some hints if you want to kiss him. Again, open up and talk to him. Communication is always key.
Advice Column: I feel alone. Image found on Flickr.com
The Question:
Should I see a counselor, I feel alone.
I’m a 21 year old full time student and worker. I have a respectable job and I am planning to go to law school next year when I finish my undergraduate degree. I haven’t lived at home since I was 9, but instead have lived with a number of random people. I was pretty much in foster care, although I wasn’t officially in the system. When I was younger I dealt with not having parents or family a lot better. I think it was because I felt like I would some day, that someone would love me like their daughter or something. Now that I’m 21, it seems harder for me to deal with my feelings. Most people think I’m really happy, because I can be really energetic at times. I laugh and smile a lot, and honestly I do feel happy sometimes, but overall I’m sad. Every time I go to bed I am sad. I cry a lot by myself because I’ve always wanted a mom or dad to really love me. I’ve made connections with adults and have had mentors, but it seems I never can really be loved like most people love their kids. Nobody comes to my award stuff at school, who knows if I’ll have anyone at my graduation, and I probably wont have anyone to walk me down the isle at my wedding one day. I try so hard, I really do. I try to love people and get involved with other people’s life, but I always feel like an intruder/outsider. I get jealous of my friends who have awesome moms and dads. Not because they have them, but because I wish I did too. I even thought about moving out of state to get away. Advice?
(Edited)
My Response:
Dear feeling sad;
It’s normal to feel the way you do. You come from a situation that not many can crawl out of. You have to count your blessings in other ways. I can’t imagine how hard it is to not have a mother and father in your life, but you have to think of the positive that may have come from it. There are some people who have their parents, but they are abusive mentally and physically. Your situation could have been a lot worse. I know it’s not easy no matter which way you look at it, but something that always keeps me going is to remember ‘it can always be worse.’ Seems to me like you have most of your life put together, you are going into law school, you and you work, keep up the positivity in your life. I definitely don’t see anything wrong with talking to a counselor, sometimes talking to someone helps. Moving out of state is not going to make the sadness in you go away, you have to learn to accept your situation and make the best of it. Have you ever thought about finding family from your biological parents? This is something to think about, maybe they have been looking for you or they don’t know you exist. I don’t know your situation completely so it’s hard for me to give more of my advice. But always remember that you are stronger than what you think, and that it’s okay to feel a little jealous of your friends and their families sometimes. But remember where and what you have become and be proud of that.
