Advice Column: How do I make a guy like me? Image by: google.com/images
Advice Column:
I have a crush on this cute guy in my apartment and when ever I see him we just pass each other and he never tries to look at me in the eyes, he just looks down or he just avoids eye contact. I once saw his young brother but I did not ask him his name. Do you think he has a crush on me too? How do I make a guy like me?
My Response:
Dear Shyness;
There isn’t anything specific to making a guy like you. Just be you and you’ll find the right guy to like you as you are. Now in your situation it’s different, it’s not even about making this guy like you, as much as it is just having him talk to you. It’s either two things; either he’s really shy and doesn’t know how to approach girls or he’s simply just not that into you. You can go about this in a few ways.
Way #1: Approach him the next time you see him in the hall way. Just say hello and start small talk. Maybe even act dumb and ask him a question, like ‘do you know where the nearest target is’?
Way #2: Bump into him and apologize, see if this will finally open his eyes to looking at you and start a conversation from there.
Way #3: Talk to his little brother and ask him what’s up with his brother?
Way #4: Be straight forward, tell him you think he’s cute & you were wondering if he would like to hang out sometime?
My preferred way to go is Way #1, if he isn’t willing to talk to you and ask your name I would just say hi to him while passing in the hallway and introduce myself to him. It’s up to you, but if he still shows no interest after that, I say let it go and move on. There are plenty of other guys out there that won’t be so shy.
Advice Column: I told him I wanted to have sex but… Photo found on flickr.com
The Question: I told him I wanted to have sex but I’m not sure that I’m ready.
What should I do? We started dating but we aren’t official yet. We sext [sic] and stuff but I told him I would have sex with him this weekend, but I kind of don’t want to because I want us to be something before we take that next step. What should I do? I’m scared he might get pissed off. I’m a virgin by the way and he isn’t; what do I do?
(EDITED)
My Response:
Dear Virgin;
You should definitely be honest with him, especially if you are a virgin. If he really likes you and respects you then he will understand. Sure has a guy he wants to have sex, and he may be a bit disappointed but that’s okay. What is more important is that you don’t just go running into someones bed when you aren’t 100% ready for it. Losing your virginity is important, don’t rush into things. Even if you make things official, wait a little, make sure you guys are ready for that next step. Does he know you are a virgin? If he doesn’t, you should be honest with him. You don’t want to start a relationship where you are hiding things. Remember to always respect yourself and never do anything you aren’t ready for.
Advice Column: 14 and Depressed. Image found on flickr.com
The Question: 14 and Depressed….
I have always been a grumpy, moody child. There was 6 months between age 12 and 13 when I was especially miserable and lonely, and I cut myself and I’ve never been good at communicating my feelings, so the rare times I did try to tell my friends that I was sad, it was awkward and one of them just basically brushed it off. She’s the kind of person thats always happy and doesn’t notice when others are sad, annoyed, or anything but happy.
It kind of went away and I made new friends and became more confident. I don’t know how it just happened, but now its coming back again, definitely not as bad, but its still there. Around two months ago I started noticing that horrible feeling of loneliness again and it becomes really strong at times, usually when I’m alone, but I can only hang out with people at school, since none of them live near me or show interest.
I don’t ever remember feeling close to any of my friends. Before 12 it was fine, all we did was play and laugh, but in high school I stopped seeing them and even though I went to the same school as my best friend, we grew apart and I realized we were not best friends, because she never talks to me about ANYTHING and she hasn’t accepted my Facebook request I sent her three years ago, even though a few days ago she accepted from a girl we don’t even talk to anymore.
I don’t know… I just feel disconnected from everything.I feel numb, and I want to go to a therapist but I don’t know how since I am only 14? Please help me out.
(Edited)
My Response:
First off, it’s great that you notice that you are not happy. That’s the first step in wanting to get better. Second, if you want to talk to a professional, you can always start with your counselor at school. Let them know how you are feeling and let them help you.
Talk to your parents, you will be surprised at how they may understand what you are going through, and even if they don’t, I am sure they want only what is best for you. Have them take you to a therapist if that is what you want.
Depression is a big problem in our world, don’t feel alone in how you feel. With that said, you have to try and think positive whenever you feel yourself getting down. You have friends and don’t stress about the ones not accepting you on Facebook. If you have unresolved feelings as to why your friendship ended with your ex-best friend then send her a message or call her. Try talking to her, maybe something happened that you don’t know about. Maybe she just changed, and if that’s the case, she was never your friend to begin with. I have learned that sometimes in life we make friends and we lose them. It’s sad, and it’s okay to feel sad about it, but we move forward and we find other people in our lives who are better for us. Don’t give up on happiness, you are still young but don’t hold it all in. Talk to someone, that’s the first step in figuring out why you feel the way you do.
Try participating in a group, whether at school or at your local church, if you go to one. Sometimes becoming part of a group will help you get out there more and be more social.
Advice Column: He deleted me from social media. Photo from flickr.com
Advice Column: He deleted me from social media, should I try contacting him?
Basically I didn’t reply to a few of this guys texts and calls so he blocked and deleted me. I am quiet and I realized I didn’t really like him. What shall I do? He has blocked me, so it seems if I try contacting him I will look pathetic, what should I do?
My Response:
If you realized that you didn’t really like him, then it really shouldn’t bother you that he blocked you or deleted you from any social media sites. If you wanted to just stay friends with him and it bothers you that much, then try contacting him and apologize for your actions. Explain to him you were confused and that you are sorry how you handled things, but that you would like to stay friends. Good luck.
Advice Column: I caught my friend masturbating. Image found on flickr.com
Advice Column: I caught my friend masturbating, what should I do?
We are both 15 year old girls and we don’t live together and we do not have relationship, besides friends; whatsoever at all. So we were both sleeping next to each other like usual cause I had invited her over for a sleep over. I fell asleep and woke up to the sound of her shaking and other embarrassing noises. It was only obvious what she was doing. In a panic, I pretended to be asleep until she was finished. Then she fell asleep. Now I’m writing this completely oblivious as to what to do and why would she do that in someone else’s house, and right next to her friend? Please help and thank you.
My Response:
Dear Friend;
There really isn’t an answer I can give you. It is a bit strange that she masturbating right next to you, and I can see how this can be very weird for you. Maybe she get’s turned on with the fact that someone is so close to her. Her hormones can be going a hundred miles an hour and who knows what she is really thinking. But these are questions that only she can answer. This can be a very awkward question to ask a friend, but if she didn’t want to be embarrassed then she probably shouldn’t have been masturbating right next you. There are only two things you can do, ask her straight up. Tell her you woke up and heard her, and you hadn’t said anything because you really just didn’t know what to do. See what she tells you and go on from there. Or you can simply ignore this happened. I wouldn’t sleep next to her on the next sleep over though, if you plan on just ignoring this.
Advice Column: I like my brother’s best friend. Image found on flickr.com
Advice Column: I like my brother’s best friend. We flirt sometimes, but I don’t know if he really likes me, what should I do?
My friends brother is a year older than me and I started being interested in him. I started hanging out with his friends a lot more often and I see him a lot. He always smiles at me and teases me and will flirt with me. And tonight his friend stole my phone and to his friend [sic] I was like “omg I’m gonna kill you!” And then my crush was like “not until I kill you first” and he said it really sexually and was really close to me. I really like him. I don’t know if he likes me because when we were playing truth or dare, my friend asked him if he liked me and he said “Yeah sure.. I like a lot of people” and I was like what…? Does he like me, please help?
(Edited)
My Response:
Dear Brother’s Sister;
Going after your brother’s best friend can have consequences. You can ruin your brothers friendship if something were to happen, your brother may not approve or it can work out all for the best. If you really like him and you are sure he’s been flirting back, then just ask him. But make sure you are ready for either answer. He may just be nice to you, and like you as his best friend’s sister. So be prepared if it’s not the answer you really want.
Advice Column: Would it be staking if I text my Ex? Image found on flickr.com
The Question: Would it be stalking if I text my ex?
My ex boyfriend and I broke up yesterday, and he wants to be friends. He still calls me baby girl. If I text him, would I be stalking him?
My Response:
Dear Ex;
Texting an ex does not make you a stalker. If you start following him around, and becoming obsessed then yes, you would be a stalker. But you just broke up yesterday, why would you want to text him anyway? He told you he wanted to be friends with you and he’s still calling you baby girl, so it’s clearly okay to text him as a friend, but this is a decision you have to make. Sometimes being friends with an ex isn’t easy. I am not saying it’s impossible, but sometimes it’s better to take a break from that person to be able to move on. He’s an ex for a reason.
Advice Column: I want to leave my mom’s to live with my dad. Image by flickr.com
The Question: I want to leave my Mom’s to live with my Dad, how can I do this?
I am 16 years old and was forcefully moved from my home with my dad about 2 years ago by my mom. She decided she wanted me to be with her and thus acted upon it. Since my dad is not excessively well-off, he couldn’t hire a lawyer, so I simply ended up staying with my mom. Try as I might, I cant adjust to my new school, make new friends, or genuinely be happy. My parents live on opposite sides of the country, and I have considered leaving (running away, if you will) to where my dad is. I ultimately want to know, if I get there, will I legally be able to decide that’s where I will live?
~ Running Away
My Response:
Dear Running Away;
You can try to go talk to a lawyer that may do a pro bono job, (which means he will take your case for free). Or at least maybe give you some free legal advice. I do not know where you live and I am not a lawyer so I cannot give you advice as to what you can do, or what will happen if you try to run away to another country. More than likely they will just send you back home. If you want to live with your dad, you have to do it the right way.
Have you tried talking to your mom, now that you are older? Have you tried reaching out to your dad? You are old enough to make that choice, and I would try talking to them first. If that doesn’t work you can always try talking to a lawyer or the courts and see what they tell you. It’s hard being a parent, just remember that your mom really loves you and probably only wants the best for you. I don’t know your parent’s situation so maybe your dad just couldn’t support you. It’s hard to understand when you are young, but be open and talk to them about how you feel. Maybe you will be surprised as to what they tell you.
Advice Column: He touched my brother and molested me. Image found on flickr.com
The Question:
He touched my brother when he was little and then he molested me. I’m angry and I don’t know what to do.
So a few years ago my brother and I where sleeping over at our friends house, and in the middle of the night I woke up and caught this person who was 13 at the time touching, with my younger brother who was 8 [sic]. I didn’t give it much thought, I just thought they were playing some harmless game or whatever and went back to sleep, the next morning I asked them what they where up to and this person said that they where just playing games on the computer. This was back when I trusted this person, so I thought I probably just dreamed it or my eyes where playing tricks on me since it was dark and I was still half asleep. Anyway, so I completely forgot about it for about 2 years and then around March of 2013, my sister told me some horrible rape story that had happened to her friend and it left me feeling shocked for several days. It triggered the memory of catching this person and my brother touching.
So I asked my brother what happened and it turns out that this person had bribed him to touch him. I couldn’t handle that so I told my dad and he said it was harmless and something I shouldn’t be worrying about and he laughed. I went over to this persons house for a week or so and he came back to ours, I wasn’t mad yet I just felt really bad [sic], I felt like it was somehow my fault that it had happened. I felt guilty for about 6 months non stop. While this person was here he was a DICK! I talked to him about what he did and he threatened me! He called me names and once he dry humped my back against my will.
I told him to stop but he waited like 30 seconds, I could have beat him up but I couldn’t be bothered [sic]. He stayed here for 3 months. I went over to his house in April this year and I beat him up, and I told him I was beating him because he humped me. He denied it at first but then he said if I wanted him to stop I should have just said so. I saw him a few days later and his eye was bloodshot, I still feel angry though, I think I should go to his house and dry hump him against his will and beat him up till he cries because I still feel really angry at that f***ing *****! I hate him for all the s*** he did to me. He’s also racist. He brags to me about doing drugs cause he thinks its cool. He calls me names, like when he was here he called me a crazy b**** for not dyeing his hair. In 2012 He tried to beat me up because he was using my computer, and I asked if I could use it for a minute, and he just ignored me completely so I got angry and told him to get off. I didn’t fight back.
Please help, I don’t know what to do.
(Edited)
My Response:
Dear Angry;
You are very angry, but beating up on this person, or going to their house is not helping anyone. You have every right to be angry but you need to stop and talk to an adult that will help you. I am not sure if you have a mom? Have you spoken to her or any other family member besides your dad? You should try talking to your dad again, I cannot believe that he would just brush something like this off, but sometimes as adults we don’t want to face something that is so horrible, yet true. This doesn’t excuse him, but I’m just trying to understand why he would allow this man back into your house after what you told him. You or your brother should never be around this person. I would talk to another adult and report this person as soon as possible. If this person has done this to you and your brother than they most likely have done this to other children and it isn’t safe to be around them. Do not blame yourself, you couldn’t have prevented what this person did to your brother, you are and were young and you didn’t know what you were really seeing. The important part is that you now know the truth and you can now protect your brother and yourself by not being around this man and reporting him. Report this person to someone and stay away from them.
Advice Column: I love my friends boyfriend. Image found on flickr.com
The Question:
I love my friends boyfriend, what should I do?
Okay so basically I feel really bad, I’ve been out with this boy before. We broke up because someone spread rumors about us. We liked each other for a bit after and I carried on liking him. My other friend said he still likes you, I can tell, the way he looks at you.” By the way, he and I have always been really close friends so we hang around a lot, and when he told our group of friends that he loved his girl (one of my friends in our group) I was crushed. My best friend knows how I feel. I can trust her with my life so I know she wouldn’t tell anyone. What do I do?
(Edited)
My Response:
If he’s moved on with another friend of yours then you have to let it go. He has obviously moved on. I know it hurts and it sucks that he was your boyfriend and friend first but sometimes life isn’t fair. How long as your friend been dating your ex? Did she know he was your ex? Because this is another factor in this story. As a friend, I would never date my friends ex boyfriend. Now that she’s already dating him, I would let things go. If you say anything to your friend then you may lose that friendship. He made his choice by being with someone else, you have to find a way to move on.
