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Category: Everyday Life

  • Is it ok to hate her for stealing my day?

    The Question:

    My husband and I got married last year, we didn’t have any money to have a big wedding, so the two of us went abroad and got married. No one made a fuss, bought us gifts or even a card!! Everyone thought I must have been having a baby or something but its difficult to explain how poor we are, and my parents are also very poor. I feel so upset our friends didn’t make any effort and my husbands family didn’t even send a card.

    My husbands family are very rich and his sister has just got married abroad (where she lives). She is coming over to have a blessing with the family ans chose our wedding date! My in-laws are paying for a castle blessing and full blown reception. They are buying them their honeymoon too. They gave us £100.

    I do feel a little jealous, but that’s life and its her parents choice to spend that money on their daughter, but why steal our day?! We didn’t get a proper wedding and now our 1st wedding anniversary is going to be spoiled. We are financially better off now and in a humph I bought my husband and I a trip abroad to celebrate our anniversary (and to avoid the wedding!!).

    Now i am not sure how to tell everyone we are not going, we have known about it for a good 6/8 weeks now, Also, am i wrong to feel so annoyed???? I feel its not fair of my husbands parents to favor her so much more than him. He is much nicer than her, visits more, buys them more and always sends birthday cards to family etc, she does not.

    Thanks.

    My Response:

    Dear Jealous;

    Unfortunately some parents don’t believe in paying for the son’s wedding and it’s traditional to help with their daughters wedding. So let me get this straight your husbands sisters wedding is on the same day as your wedding anniversary? In this age of time unfortunately not many people think about doing nice things for others, even though you couldn’t afford a wedding so you just eloped your friends and his family having money should have at least offered to take you out to dinner or get you a small gift. I know it’s hard to admit you don’t have money for a wedding but you should have just been honest with at least his family that you couldn’t afford a wedding and you wanted to get married so that is why you eloped. It is also your husbands responsibility to speak up to his family if he’s hurt about them not even sending you guys a card. If you have known about the wedding for 6 to 8 weeks you should have really spoken up then that you had a trip planned on that date, and you had already bought the tickets. I do think it’s a little strange they would pick the same date as yours, and I don’t blame you for being a little jealous considering you didn’t get to have your big wedding or even a party to celebrate. Have your husband tell his family that you aren’t going to the wedding, that’s his family and it’s not your responsibility to tell them. Then go on your one year anniversary trip and have the fun you haven’t been able to have for your wedding. If no one has the consideration to consider your anniversary or do anything for you guys when you got married then don’t worry so much about what they are going to think if you don’t go to the wedding. I would be the bigger person and at least send her a card and a small gift then go on your trip and ENJOY.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Be strong ~ Inspired by Madison Schafer

    Be Strong

    When you feel like your world is falling apart
    have faith and stand strong.
    When you feel like it’s the end of the world
    remember that there are people out there who are suffering more than you are right now.
    If you are the one suffering and you don’t know what to do
    remember to pray
    remember to not hate what you can not control
    remember that we all need love in our hearts to move forward
    because if we give in to the hate,
    if we give in to the sadness
    we are only admitting defeat.
    Stand strong
    Be strong
    Life is a journey
    we all take the bad with the good
    and we all wonder at one point in our lives
    “why is this happening to me”?

    Let love enter your heart
    with love, the world has no end
    with love we know no limits
    with love we have support of the ones we care for
    with love we smile
    with love we cry
    with love we know no boundaries
    and yet we keep loving
    we keep living
    and we keep having the faith that in the end Everything will be alright.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    My thoughts:

    I have been thinking recently about how we all complain about things we aren’t happy about in life. Only you can change the actions that cause your life events and only you can change fate. My last two posts have been about this little girl who is only 20 months old fighting for her life due to a tumor in her brain that is cancerous. Her family I can only imagine is in shambles, wondering what is going to happen, not knowing if tomorrow will come and looking into the beautiful eyes of that baby girl (Madison Schafer). I think about how we complain about things in life, but if you stop just for one second to realize all the beautiful things you have in life you might realize that the bad stuff happening right now is actually not so bad. Realize that there are people out there like the Schafer family who is struggling way more than some people can ever imagine. Have faith and pray and remember that miracles do happen, positive thinking really does change outcomes and in the end remember the people you love, love them back because tomorrow is never promised. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, and we take so many things for granted, we take life for granted. Pray like there is no tomorrow, love like you have never loved before, and live life to your fullest. ~Live, Love, Laugh~

    © ~written by: kristin nicole – 09.16.10 @7:35 am ~

    Today the Schafer family will learn about Madison’s condition and they will see what treatments they will need to give Madison for her recovery. My prayers are with them all.

  • Madison Schafer – Baby with Brain Cancer

    Madison Schafer

    I am not sure how old Madison Schafer is but she can’t be more than 2 years old. She looks really young, I was on my face-book account this morning when I saw an old co-workers post about a little girl in her daughters school who has brain cancer. I clicked on the link and began to read her story. They literally just found out that she had Brain Cancer yesterday. Before that it was only 5 days ago when they noticed something was wrong with the baby.

    Brain Tumor/Cancer

    On September 9th a CAT Scan resulted in a large tumor in the brain, they had an emergency surgery scheduled that same night to get it out, as they set out to take out the fleshy part of the tumor Madison’s heart stopped three times, so they had to stop the surgery. They later sent a sample to Harvard to a brain specialist to determine if in fact it was Cancer. An MRI later showed that the tumor is holding liquid around the brain and not draining on it’s own so they had to place a drain in her head to drain the liquid, they were hoping that the liquid would start draining on it’s own. Madison is starting to move her bowel and eating, so they took the catheter out and the family is waiting on the next step to cure the cancer.

    My Thoughts:

    This story touched my heart, it is scary and hard to live through something like this with such a small child. The school has a website where you can follow Madisons recovery at Kidsforkidsacademy.com. You can follow her recovery, and you can help the family by either donating money, food, or anything that will help them through this difficult time. Some people are donating Publix or Winn Dixie gift cards (CBS 4 News donated some gift cards to the family) and some are helping make home cooked meals and taking them to the hospital. You can help donate HERE.

    In life we truly never know what will happen. Some of us live our lives healthy and content, others go through the hardest moments in life not knowing what to do. I couldn’t imagine what the Schafer family is going through and I think if we all say a prayer, if we all contribute just a little, that in a small way it will help them get through this horrible time one step at a time.

    If you want to donate click on the link above, and you can also write a message to the family either here on this link (I have informed them that I have posted a blog post about Madison on Soapnights) and or you can leave a message HERE.

    My prayers are with Madison a beautiful baby girl who doesn’t deserve to have such a horrible illness and to her family who needs to stay strong, and think positive that everything will be alright.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    PS

    Dear Schafer family,

    It breaks my heart to read a story like yours. I have posted links to this website (http://www.soapnights.com) about your daughter Madison and I will pray for her fast recovery back to a normal life. No one should have to go thorugh what you are going through, and we sometimes give up on hope when things like this happen. We turn our backs on our beliefs because we wonder why things like this happen to us. This is the time that you have to come together, keep your faith and your hopes up and think positive. My prayers are with Madison (that beautiful baby girl) and with you. Stay strong, Madison will pull through this.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

  • VMA 2010

    MTV VMA Awards 2010

    Okay so here is the list of last nights VMA 2010 winners:

    Collaboration: Lady Gaga featuring Beyonce, “Telephone”

    Female video    : Lady Gaga, “Bad Romance”

    Male video:     Eminem, “Not Afraid”

    Hip-hop video: Eminem, “Not Afraid”

    New artist:     Justin Bieber featuring Ludacris, “Baby”

    Pop video: Lady Gaga, “Bad Romance”

    Rock video: 30 Seconds to Mars, “Kings and Queens”

    Dance music video: Lady Gaga, “Bad Romance”

    Art direction: Florence and the Machine, “Dog Days Are Over”

    Choreography:     Lady Gaga, “Bad Romance”

    Cinematography: Jay Z and Alicia Keys, “Empire State of Mind”

    Direction:     Lady Gaga, “Bad Romance”

    Editing: Lady Gaga, “Bad Romance”

    Special effects: Muse, “Uprising”

    Breakthrough video:     The Black Keys, “Tighten Up”

    Video of the year:     Lady Gaga, “Bad Romance”

    My thoughts:

    I do like Lady Gaga, she’s unique, she’s talented and she even supports organizations….However, I have to admit that I would have loved to see some other artist who’s songs and work I liked as well. Like Ke$ha, Katy Perry, Drake and more. I think she did great and she deserved the awards but I just hate when one star steals the night. I like diversity, she’s good but I don’t think she deserved almost all the awards she was given.

    This year there were a lot of good performances but some not so great in my book. Taylor Swift, she’s cute and she’s nice and she has some good songs, but live I just don’t see a great performance come out of her, and that song she chose was just boring. Usher, Eminem, Justin Bieber did great, good songs, good performances. The Machine “Dog Days are over” was great, I had never heard her sing before and she was fantastic. And of course the host of the evening Chelsea Handler was funny, and cute in all her outfits. I love her books and I think she did great hosting the VMA’s 2010.

    Until next year….

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    You can see the list of winners for the VMA 2010 on Yahoo.Music.com

  • How much of a slave do I need to be?

    The Question:

    Long story, But I lost my good paying job in November 09. I found a minimum wage job. Trying to make my bills with what little I have, my future x husbands mother decides to have me clean her house for her on my days off. I do this for 3 weeks. She gives the money to my future x. The future x and myself still live in the same house (for now). He gave his mother the sob story that I had pissed away all our money that we had accumulated.. and partially true, but he did more so. While I refuse to tell my side of the story to his mother. Although I have proof, I will not stoop to his level. He has ruined my name in the small town in which we live. What recourse can I take? How obligated to him and his mother am I going to be for the rest of my life? Sorry I just needed to vent. Anyone have any in-site on this?

    My Response:

    Dear taken advantage of;

    Everyone has choices in life. In a marriage you choose to do things and work together or in your case get divorced (I am assuming you wrote future x because he isn’t your ex quiet yet). However, you do not have to be a slave to anyone. You were married, if you pieced away both of your funds that wasn’t right, and hopefully you learned a big lesson here. If he is part to blame then he needs to take responsibility, and if you have proof it isn’t stooping to his level if he is bringing your name down in a small town only to look like the victim. Stand up to him and his mother and figure a way out of your debt. Move out, and move on. Maybe perhaps leave this small town and move somewhere else. We all have choices in life, and you do not need to succumb to being someones “slave”. Helping clean her house for extra money is your choice, have you thought about offering your help to other people in the area, this way you aren’t only cleaning your Ex’s mom’s house and having to hear them talk about you? If cleaning houses isn’t your thing, then get up and find another job, you may have to move out of your small town to make a better living, and if this is what you have to do then do it. Again. we all have choices in life. Make a choice to stand up and stick up for yourself. If you did wrong, admit it but don’t let him take you down just because he doesn’t want to take part in your misfortunes. Stop letting them take advantage of you and do something about it.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Will she ever love me again?

    The Question:

    Hi, I have recently split from my girlfriend of 7 years, its been 3 weeks now but it feels like its been longer, I miss her terribly I think about her morning noon & night, Its a long story but basically we had problems I suffered with depression and left her for 5 months and lived with my parents again. When I came back to her things had changed she told me we had grown apart and didn’t love me said she still cared but not like that… We sort of got back together but I was constantly suspicious of her checking her face-book & e-mails etc, then it got to the point where she wouldn’t touch me or seem to care about how I felt this dragged on for about 3 months I said a few times I will leave then hoping she would try to stop me, she just said do whatever you want to do…So I left it broke my heart, she just rang me to ask if I was alright not to come back… Since then she has posted on her face-book Ive never felt so happy, never been this happy in years, wish I would have been single years ago, but lists on her profile interested in men looking for a relationship… I spoke to her again recently well saw her actually and she was real cold towards me said that she just wants to be friends that she cares about me but will never be in a relationship with me again… It just doesn’t matter what I do or say I cant stop thinking about her I miss her so much, Does anyone think that she will ever love me like I want again? I would like anyone’s opinions please especially from women. Thanks

    My Response:

    Dear Heart Broken;

    It is hard to suffer from depression and people who don’t suffer from depression don’t understand those that do. Going to the key core, you moved out, and not just for a few days, for almost half a year, that’s a long time for your ex to evaluate your relationship and truly see how she felt about you. I know it hurts to see her happy and saying the things that she says, but the truth is that it is better to move on from someone who doesn’t love you the way you love them than to sit there hoping that one day they just might love you back. Seven Years is a long time, and there was something obviously wrong for it to have gone so astray after so long. I know it hurts because you still love her (it’s only been 3 weeks), and thinking about her day and night isn’t something that is just going to disappear in a day. You spent a long time with her and you loved her, you have history together and you probably thought you would spend the rest of your life together. It’s hard but the fact that she isn’t in love with you is reality. If she has told you that she cares for you I am sure it is because she was with you for so long and just because you aren’t in love with someone anymore doesn’t mean you stop loving or caring for them, but loving someone and being in love with someone are two different things. Try to be strong and get your life back on track, it isn’t going to be easy but you have to move on. It is better to move on now knowing that she isn’t in love with you then to keep up a relationship that is only a lie. You don’t want to spend another 7 years down the road with someone who isn’t happy, or spend it with someone who in the end is only going to end up leaving you. I am sure she has her reasons and I am sure that you are going to hurt for a long time, but I know this is a cliche saying “but time does heal all wounds”. Be strong, look at your relationship and really ask yourself if you were happy with the way things were? Or were you just comfortable? Be strong; you will find someone who will support you through the hard times and love you no matter what. If you still suffer from depression you have to really think about seeing someone or talking to someone, depression is not something easily removed.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Traumatized?

    Traumatized?

    Perhaps it is a strong word. Dreams… sometimes… Daydreams….randomly through out the day….Memories…All the time….Anxiety….with the memories….Sadness….Scared….Traumatized?

    Living Life…

    You have to continue living after an accident, or something bad that has happened to you, the hard part isn’t continuing to live the hard part is getting back into the same routine you have been so accustomed to without having the bad memories pop into your head every couple of minutes or hours or days. My experience wasn’t all that bad compared to a lot of people who have been in accidents. Most recently an employee was in a motorcycle accident, he broke one wrist, the other hand and his ankle. He has been like this for over a month and still confined to a wheelchair and lots and lots of physical therapy. That to me reminds me of how lucky I am, how I have no reason to truly complain about anything let alone my accident where I walked out of the car without a single scratch. Sure my neck and shoulders are still a bit sore, but that comes with the whiplash of the accident. I rather be sore with a few aches and pains then confined to a wheel chair and needing people to help you do stuff (like going to the restroom). I rather be me any day, and with all that and with knowing that what I said is 110% all true, I still can’t help but to fear, I still can’t help but to feel bad and scared. Every time I start picturing that morning, the rain, the car lights, the hit, it all just happened so fast.

    Let it go….

    Letting it go is easier said than done, and I know this. If I was giving advice I would say to confront your fear, pass by that area again and let it go. Accidents happen and this is a lesson to learn from, to be more careful, more aware of your surroundings, to not let fear conquer you and to be grateful that nothing happened to you. Sure you have to deal with the aftermath, but everything will be taken care of in time. Let it go and keep living. Knowing all this you think it would be easy for me. Knowing all this, you think I can just let it go, forget and move on. Each time I picture it I get a shiver down my spine, each time I think about it I get saddened that this had to happen. I’m still trying to figure out the “everything happens for a reason” … I still can’t drive in that same spot. Now I go a different way to work in the morning.

    When….

    When will it stop haunting me and when will I let it go? Only time can tell, I think I will be fine, I know I will be fine, it is just a scary thought that this could have been much worse. Makes you think about life and the things you want and what truly is important and unimportant. Makes you think and realize that things could always be so much worse and today I am just thankful to be able to write this, to sit here with only a little soreness around the neck and carry on with my life as if nothing happened….

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • The Car Accident…

    The Car Accident…

    I got up like any other morning, thought about snoozing another 10 minutes and then finally just decided to get up and get ready for work. I got ready, made breakfast and stopped before leaving wondering and feeling like I was forgetting something. I headed towards the door, locked the door, went to the elevator and headed up to my car, I started going down the garage and headed outside and saw that it was raining. I turned my windshield wipers on and headed down the road to work. I was just driving, listening to music and thinking about life, when I look to the side and see the car coming towards me, I look up and it was too late to stop the car hit me on the driver side turning my car, popping my tire and spinning my world around. I got out of the car and everyone was fine, I was fine, they were fine but my car wasn’t fine. Material things come and go, or they get fixed; that wasn’t my concern at all, the only thing that really bothered was that I was the one who got the ticket and I don’t even know what happened. Now I have a ticket to pay, traffic school or court, missions in life that make you wonder why things really happen in life.

    If you read my blog you know that I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I am one to admit that saying it is easier said than actually experiencing it. I have gone through things in life where I later turn around and realize why things do happen for a reason, this, this accident I’m still trying to figure out what the reason is?

    My boyfriend took me to the hospital afterward just to make sure everything was okay, because my whole left side of my neck and shoulder where killing me. Everything checked out fine, I just had a spasm in my neck which will be sore for several days or weeks. They gave me a soft neck brace and a muscle relaxer. I’m now sitting her typing this with the neck brace on, I didn’t sleep all night from not wanting to make the wrong move and hurt my neck more and from the anxiety every time I thought about getting in a car or taking that same road the next time I go to work.

    Moments….

    When I was sitting in my car I didn’t notice it in the moment, but when I started trying to replay what happened, I all of a sudden got a vision of a moment in the car accident. I sat there and in one moment, one second in time I saw my grandparents, I saw my grandfather looking at me, and I saw my grandmother and I even saw Oz. I don’t know what it all means but I can’t stop thinking about it. When I think about the accident I get anxiety, I get nervous and feel bad about the entire thing. In life we go through things we don’t know the reasons for, this is one of those moments. It was almost as if my life flashed before my eyes, and although I walked out of that car accident with nothing but a few sores in my neck, I wonder if this is some type of sign. If everything happens for a reason, what is this reason?

    In a split second you see things you didn’t even notice you saw, you later remember what you saw and have no clue why or what it means. In life things happen that we never truly know the meaning for, I always try to figure things out, I can’t help but stress, I can’t help but worry and I can’t help but wonder what the reasons are? I look back at past events, present and future and I wonder what the universe has in store for me. If this is now, if this is what I feel, then what can I do to make things better? This year has been a major roller coaster of emotions. I have had good things happen like finally finishing my Associates Degree, Moving into my new place with my boyfriend, having my health and family and friends, the bad somehow seem to take control, Loosing Oz and Precious was something so hard, thinking about it still makes me tear up. I recently also lost my cat Oreo (RIP Oreo – best sweetest outside cat ever), school has been hard and lots of money on tutors and life.

    When life gets you down try to think of the positive. That’s what I try to do. It’s hard, I want to sometimes curl up in bed and just cry, or lay in a bubble bath, hold my breath under the water and just let it out. We sometimes have to let the pain out, the tears and the frustration roll out like a thunder storm and then I stop and I try to evaluate my life, I try to figure out what I can do to make things better. Think positive and hope that things turn around. Life is too short to always feel down, but sometimes we can’t help but to feel the way we feel. We don’t always expect the things in life to turn our world up side down. This year has been an emotional roller coaster like I said, but I have faith that things in life will get better. A little faith comes a long way…. Do you have faith?

    xo,
    kristin nicole
    ~Random Thoughts~

  • Juggling your life.

    In times of stress I try to sit back, take a hot bubble bath and think about what I need to do to get back on track. Or sometimes I try to think of absolutely nothing at all. 🙂

    Juggling your life…

    It isn’t easy. Life gives you ups and downs and sometimes we go sideways, but somehow with all the worries and all the stress we figure it out and we come up on top. For me I struggle with a full time job, school, and home. I work every week from 7-4pm and then in between during lunch and when I get home I have school work, and just recently I moved into my new place. So as you can imagine after a few years of absolute spoilness (okay that might not be a word, but anyhow…) I now have to do everything myself. I have to cook dinner, do laundry and cook. Yes I have a boyfriend and he’s been helping me do dishes and clean up but even with some help it’s a bit tough. Getting into the routine of things is hard. If I didn’t have school it might be a little easier, but I’m pushing myself everyday to keep going.

    For some it’s easier….

    For me, it’s hard… School as always been a struggle for me and each day, each class gets harder with more work. If you aren’t born into a family that can afford your education you have to juggle a full time job and school. You have to take student loans and books to survive. You have to take care of yourself, your job and your education, and sometimes I just feel like calling it quits! Then when my head stops stressing and I have time to actually think, I stop myself and I think about all the hard work I’ve already put into it, and I keep on going, and I keep on pushing through. No one ever told me life would be so hard, but then again no one ever told me it would be easy either.

    xo,
    kristin nicole
    ~Random Thoughts~

  • Moving in & Moving on up…

    Moving In & Moving on up…

    Okay so I don’t drive a fancy car and my apartment isn’t a Penthouse suite, but I have to say my little apartment is super chic and cute. I have to admit I’ve moved out before but this moving process seemed like a lot of work.

    We started moving Friday 08/06/10. My boyfriend and brother took the stuff from his house and loaded up the U-Haul truck… there wasn’t much but clothes and a few boxes/bags and the TV, so off they went from South Miami, to Pembroke Pines. There my dad helped them move the rest of the stuff into the U-Haul truck; my bed, two night stands, TV Stand and a few boxes and clothes etc. I brought them lunch and they were able to go to the building earlier to move in, so off they go to Downtown Miami…..

    Downtown… When you’re alone
    And life is making you lonely,
    You can always go downtown

    Up and down they go, moving furniture and boxes…. Meanwhile, I had errands to run, I worked that day at 6:30 in the morning, then I left work at 12pm to head to the Doral to drop off some paperwork, then up to Pembroke Pines where I took the guys food. We ate, they went to downtown and I went to Target and Sedanos to buy a few things I knew we would need to munch on and drink while we were there until I went Grocery shopping Saturday morning. I got the apartment and the guys were thirsty so they each grabbed a bottle water (Good thing I bought some bottle water), they finished unloading and headed to drop the U-Haul Truck back to it’s destination. Meanwhile, I started cleaning up and unpacking. It didn’t look like we had much to unpack, and our place isn’t that big, but it took Friday until 9pm, Saturday after grocery shopping and unloading and cleaning and finishing up until 10pm and Sunday, well Sunday we went up to Ikea in Ft. Lauderdale and bought ourselves a couch 🙂

    We are now sitting in our apartment with a couch, a bed and a desk in our den. I can truly say that I am finally just about settled in…we have a few more things we need to get (like kitchen supplies) but all in all everything is looking up. Moving in and moving on up…

    Downtown…..

    xo
    kristin nicole

    Special Thanks to everyone who helped us move in:

    My boyfriend: Thank you for always calming me down when things seem to get rough, and always being there for me. Thank you for all the hard work you put in with the move.

    My brother: Thank you for helping us move and even taking the day off. You are the best brother a sister can possibly ask for.

    My sister in-law: Thank you for always being there for me, if it wasn’t for you, we might not even be in this place…

    My Mom: I couldn’t ask for a better mother, best friend who is always by my side no matter what. Thank you for helping me clean and get my place settled in, you don’t know how much you helped me.

    My Dad: Thank you for helping us move and always being there for us.

    My In-Laws: Thank you, for always supporting us, helping supply us with things for the apartment and for just being you.

    My Sister: Thank you for coming over and helping me and thank you for always making us laugh.

    I love you all so much! THANK YOU!