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Category: Everyday Life

  • 37 year old virgin, why does it matter?

    The Question:

    I am 37 never had a girlfriend and only made out 3 times, all while drunk in my life. I had a bad childhood and that caused me to not talk to women and ignore them. I was never really social in the first place, but a lot less with women. Is it bad that I am a loner for life? I am not afraid that I will be dying alone, but people look at me like I am crazy when casually talking about relationships and I say I have never had a girlfriend or had sex. Is it that bad or unbelievable that they would react in such an exaggerated way?? I mean its not like I don’t have sexual feelings, I have a few pocket ******* and masturbate a lot, so not like I have no sexual feelings.

    My Response:

    Dear 37 Year Old Virgin;

    It is not that there is something wrong, it is that society tells us that by a certain age we have sex, and that by a certain age we get married and have kids. If you want to be alone and never be in a relationship that is totally 100% your choice, but if you are only saying this or choosing to be alone because you feel that you will never get anyone that is a totally different story. You are 37 years old and you have only kissed 3 girls in your entire life and only while drunk. Why do you think you have only tried kissing these girls but only while you were drunk? Perhaps the alcohol gave you a little push, made you feel more confident in yourself. Having a bad childhood ( I do not know what happened) can definitely cause someone to not know how to talk to woman or be afraid of being in a relationship. Love can be messy and sad and complicated, but love can be the best thing that can ever happen to you. So truly ask yourself, are you NOT in a relationship because you truly choose it, and because you really just want to be alone for the rest of your life, without ever experiencing a touch of another person??? Or do you think about being with a women, having that love, and wanting to share your life with someone??? You are 37 years old, this is the time to make that decision. Be confident about yourself, sure you may get turned down a lot, but there is always someone out there for someone. You can always try on-line dating chats or having a friend try and get you on a date. If you truly choose to be alone, then good for you! Do what makes you happy and don’t worry so much about what other people tell you or what they say. Society isn’t always right you know?!?

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

    PS. The picture above is not the person who asked this question, it is a random photo found on google images.

  • How to deal with an alcoholic mother?

    The Question:

    I am 30 , and my mother and I always had issues. I cannot tell her anything because it will always be my fault (like the separation form me and my husband) I moved back for a few months and then worked on my marriage again.)..She says the meanest things (I wish I never had you, your such a waste, just cause I am your mother does not mean I have to love you, if you date someone else I will punch you in the face..and on and on and on) I have stopped telling her details or anything because she is just an mean and very spiteful. I guess she figured out I was coming back (through my brothers) and she called me and told me I am not welcome in her home and so on (I already found an apartment elsewhere for the 1st of July, ) But I have never done anything for her to treat me like this..My father and I always had a good relationship (he died last year) and she always says such mean things about him too (he stayed married to her and they lived together. I still don’t know how he did it.) She drinks mornings and night…it is horrible…I know I am 30 and I should be over this, why can I not just forget her and why does what she says still bother me??
    She said she had a hard life so she can have as many drinks as she likes (its her excuses after I told her about her drinking)…any adivce? I have 2 brothers and she is never like this to them..ever?
    I live about 2 hours away from her…Please Help.

    My Response:

    Dear Emotionally Abused;

    I do not know what you are going through, but I have had friends who have been adopted, I have had friends that their mothers aren’t there, etc. I know that just because she is your blood mother doesn’t mean she is a good mother, and everything you just said is abusive. You have an emotional abusive relationship with your mother and your mother is an alcoholic. She needs help!!! My friend who was adopted her real mother was an alcoholic and drug user, and her adopted mom, took her in when she was a baby, this woman (not blood related) as been the most wonderful mother she could have ever asked for. You do NOT need to be blood related to be a mother. You said she doesn’t treat your brothers this way, do they ever try to help her go to AA or help the relationship you two have? Maybe if she listens to them, they can get her to get the help she needs. I am sorry about your father, it is never easy loosing someone you are close to. I do not know how your father stayed with her for so many years either, but I do not know the entire story either. However, if your relationship with your mother has always been abusive, then you need to get help, you need a way to forgive her for all the bad things she tells you. You have to know that what she tells you isn’t true, that you are a good person and that you deserve better than this. If your mother doesn’t want to get help and she continues to bad mouth you, you have to make a choice. I am not saying it is going to be easy but you need to choose to either stay in your mothers life and take the abuse or stay away. I know it isn’t easy and this isn’t something anyone should have to choose but if she is emotionally abusing you, it isn’t worth your life! You deserve better, you deserve for a mother to be proud of you and be there for you. You are 30 years old and it is time to stand up and make a choice. Live your life, and find a way to forgive and move on.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Im 15 years old thinking of killing myself…

    The Question:

    I’m 15 years old thinking of killing myself because my ex broke up with me, advice? We were really really good friends and I made the move of telling him that I liked him (which I think was a mistake!) he said he wanted to be with me forever and I wanted to be with him forever! I still do. He broke up with me, and I cried like crazy! Then I see him at school and he was being really nice to me and he asked me to get back with him and he apologized and said it would never happen again . Well he did it again that same week, and that just really hurt me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I think of him everyday! I just really need love! I feel so empty!! I JUST WANT TO ****** DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please help….

    My Response:

    Dear Sadness;

    Your first love is the hardest to ever get over. I remember the first time my heart broke, it felt like a glass shattering into a million pieces, I felt like I would never feel happy again, like my world was crashing down on me and there was no where to run. Once you stop for a second and you really think about how your relationship was, if he every truly cared about you to do something like this, you start to realize that maybe things just weren’t meant to be. I am not saying the pain will just go away, but you are only 15. At 15 we feel like our world will fall apart because that boy doesn’t love us anymore, but the truth is, our world stays in intact, our world keeps moving and eventually so do we. You have to be strong, and maybe you should talk to him and ask him why he keeps breaking up with you? Sometimes boys, especially at that age, do not know how to express themselves as well as we would like them to, but ask him anyway, why he is breaking up with you. At least this way you can at least have piece of mind and move on. You deserve better but a true friend, a person who truly loves you wouldn’t hurt you. You are still so very young, and trust me there are so many other boys out there for you. You might get hurt again and you may hurt a boys heart one day, but that is part of life, that is what makes us who we are and that is what makes us stronger to live our lives. Don’t ever feel like you want to die for a man, trust me they aren’t worth it. Love is beautiful and when you find that right love you will know it’s there forever. Stay strong, hang out with your friends and get your mind off him, but know that you are better than that and dieing will only cause more pain to your family and friends that love you so very much. Dieing is only an easy way out of not feeling pain, we all have to feel pain so that we can become better and make the same mistakes of the past. Have confidence in yourself and self respect to not go back out with him. Ever heard that saying “Hurt me once shame on you, hurt me twice shame on Me”. It’s true, you have the power to decide, you have the power to move on and find someone who will respect you and love you for you.

    Remember life is hard, but I promise, it doesn’t always feel that way.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My boyfriend is a marine, and wants to annul a marriage

    The Question:

    Would he get sent to jail for this? He’s only a Lance Corporal and tells me that he could get into big trouble if he annuls or divorces and wants to separate from his wife… but he wants to to marry me instead. We live in California and he goes to Camp Pendleton. Can Someone help me please? They got married last Thursday, less than a week ago, and from what I researched, nothing happens between the marines and him because annulment is a civil matter. I don’t know what to believe.

    My Response:

    Dear Pendleton;

    NO he will not get in trouble. I have known many marines and many who went to Camp Pendleton who married, divorced, separated etc. he just got married on Thursday with this girl and already wants an annulment, I am not understanding how he is already your boyfriend, yet just got married on Thursday and already wants an annulment and wants to marry you. Something about this story just isn’t right…. You need to open your eyes and get out of this relationship ASAP! His rank has nothing to do with anything, I would make sure what his true reasons for not wanting to divorce her is. The only way he can get in trouble is if they find out he cheated on his wife, I do not know if he was still with her when you got together (I don’t see how he wasn’t considering they were just married less than a week ago) or if you got together after they were separated. I know it’s hard to hear but it’s possible that they are still together and he is lying to you. (This is me saying it in a nice way), Let him take care of his issues and if you are meant to be, he’ll come back, if not you deserve someone who isn’t already taken. Find the truth now before you waste more of your time. Bluntly — Leave the looser and find a real man, someone who doesn’t go around cheating and marrying women and divorcing them in less than a week. Good luck!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My wife and I only have sex once a month or so…

    The Question:

    My wife and I only have sex once a month or so…..?
    But I need to have an orgasm 2-3 times a week……..I am getting very frustrated but she refuses to talk. Just lately I am getting tempted to find an alternative solution…But I don’t want to have an affair……Has anyone managed to solve a similar problem…(a partner who isn’t very interested in sex/sexuality and can’t talk about personal things!). By the way, she refuses counseling (before you say ‘Relate’!!).

    My Response:

    Dear Frustrated;

    The other alternative is always playing with yourself. I understand it still isn’t the same, but it definitely beats cheating on your wife. You need to communicate with her, see why she isn’t wanting to have sex but only once a month. Maybe she is really stressed out about something, or something deeper is lying in the reasons for not wanting to be intimate with her husband. Nip this now though, I am assuming you guys aren’t that old to already be giving up on sex. Try to spice things up and make things romantic, maybe this will get her in the mood. I understand being tired, or not being in the mood, but ONCE A MONTH! That is unacceptable, sex with your husband or boyfriend is very important, it is a big part of a relationship, and if you aren’t happy, this is something she needs to understand. You said she doesn’t want counseling, maybe you need to wake her up by telling her how you feel, that you feel like finding other alternatives, I know it’s harsh but why wouldn’t she want to be intimate with her husband a little more than just once a month? Talk to her again, and try to spice up the love life, maybe that will help a little. Good luck!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Memorial Weekend 2010


    Memorial Weekend 2010

    Memorial Day: Memorial Day is a United States federal holiday observed on the last Monday of May. Formerly known as Decoration Day, it commemorates U.S. men and women who died while in the military service. First enacted to honor Union soldiers of the American Civil War (it is celebrated near the day of reunification after the Civil War), it was expanded after World War I.

    Any Plans?!?

    Any plans set up for Memorial weekend? Any good ideas you want to share? Let me know, recipes and more, I would love to see them and share them with others.

    In Miami people usually head to the beach, BBQ, eat and drink, which is pretty much any other weekend in MIAMI 🙂

    My plans:

    We have two parties to attend actually. My cousins boyfriends house in Ft. Lauderdale, with a pool, catered food, and drinks, what more can you ask for. That will start around 12pm and around 4pm we will be heading out to our friends house in Cutler Bay, where we will then continue to party in the pool, eat and drink some more, may not sound like all crazy fun to you, but you do not know the people we hang out with. I can not wait!!

    Some people make a whole trip out of it, maybe perhaps to go up to the Keys for the whole weekend, or somewhere else to have some fun. This year, I’m staying in….except for Sunday of course, which is when we are celebrating Memorial Day.

    Tell me all about your plans I would love to hear them!!!

    MEMORIAL DAY – some people do not really realize what it meant, which I left a small description in the beginning. I found this poem that I would love to share with you all.

    Memorial Day

    As we stand here looking
    At the flags upon these graves
    Know these flags represent
    A few of the true American brave

    They fought for their Country
    As man has through all of time
    Except that these soldiers lying here
    Fought for your country and mine

    As we all are gathered here
    To pay them our respect
    Let’s pass this word to others
    It’s what they would expect

    I’m sure that they would do it
    If it were me or you
    To show we did not die in vein
    But for the red, white and blue.

    Let’s pass on to our children
    And to those who never knew
    What these soldiers died for
    It’s the least we can do

    Let’s not forget their families
    Great pain they had to bear
    Losing a son, father or husband
    They need to know we still care

    No matter which war was fought
    On the day that they died
    I stand here looking at these flags
    Filled with American pride.

    So as the bugler plays out Taps
    With its sweet and eerie sound
    Pray for these soldiers lying here
    In this sacred, hallowed ground.

    Take home with you a sense of pride
    You were here Memorial Day.
    Celebrating the way Americans should
    On this solemnest of days.

    –© 1999 by Michelle Keim,
    Commander of Royersford VFW Post 6341 in PA.–

    You can see the poem Here

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Should my wife pay Child Support?

    The Question:

    Should my wife pay child support, she cheated is cohabitating w/ the new guy, left our 3 kids too, should she? All 3 beautiful kids are with me. She works full time and so do I. I am having to pay (alone) for after school care for my kids, and I pay for all the kids needs, clothes, food, bills, etc. She left the kids and I, and I rent a home still. She lives with the other man in an apartment and is going to be saving money to buy a better car, new bedroom set and split a rental home with him in the fall for $1,600 a month down the middle with the other man. I really don’t want anything from her though; but will the court order her to pay since all 3 will be with me as she does not want to raise them? I have an email that clearly states she does not want to raise them. She fears I will ask for child support and yet says she does NOT want to give me anything to help out. Says she is not required to. I think she is living in La La Land. We have been married 15 years and the other guy was cheated on by his now ex-wife, they have 2 little kids of their own…

    She can’t get custody of the kids, says my divorce attorney, since she tried to commit suicide by overdosing on prescription meds in 2004. It is documented by a police report. There was even a suicide note the police confiscated and an office “Prescription Drug Abuser” diagnosis by the local mental hospital that she was sent to. All in my favor and a slam dunk for full child custody to go to me, because of her past issues. My attorney says she really buried herself. Also, she has no clue about the ramifications of her issues/actions. Just to clarify, the children are with me. Thank God. I love them so and would do anything for them. She is actually pretty “thick-headed” in that she emails me and instant messages me like I’m a father-figure to her. I never respond. The e-mails and instant messages just keep on coming from her with all the juicy info that she is burying herself with. We all agree that she has reverted back to a gitty teenager. Including her best female friend too, she believes my wife is a teenager in her mind now.
    She is so into the other man, that I think part of her is blind. She only sees the kids, once or twice a month, for a day. I believe that if the kids want to see her, they should. She is still their mother and I want them to know that I agree with that. Believe me, My kids are 14, 8, and 6. I think the cards are all in my favor, if you read all above. I do not fear her in the least. I just don’t want her to try to come back to me for mercy once the other man leaves her sorry ***. He is a surfer who works part-time. She works full-time and he will end up using her *** in multiple ways and then kicking her to the curb for a hotter and younger girl I think. She is 36 years old.
    No, for the record, I do not want her (a cheater) to me and the kids back ever. Never. Ever…………… nope, no thank you nurse…..
    Anyway, I just want my kids to have love (which they get tons of from me as a loving parent), I want what is best for them and to protect them through this and as they grow. Please help (advise).

    My Response:

    Dear Super Parent;

    Your question was detailed and long, so I left a few things out you originally wrote that I felt didn’t need to be included in your description. On to your dilemma… if you have a lawyer for your divorce this is a question that you should be asking your lawyer, if your lawyer knowing all these details didn’t ask you if you wanted to collect child support then I advise you get a new lawyer. I am not an expert and it depends what state you live in, but I am pretty sure that custody battles and child support are fairly almost the same in every state. If your ex-wife thinks she will not have to pay child support, she has something coming to her. Just because she is a woman does not mean anything. I know a few women that have had to pay child support because the father has full custody. If you have an agreement on what she will pay that is different, but you can definitely take her to court and ask her for child support. I would definitely get a lawyer and fight her for child support, she not only cheated on you, she cheated on your family, and only seeing them 1 or 2 times a month is unacceptable, I do not understand how some parents can just pick up and leave their families like that.

    On another note; you are doing an incredible job, sticking with your children and raising them, keep it up, not many men would know what to do in your position. Always remember your kids come first, don’t let your ex-wife try to squeeze back into your life after her little affair plays out. I agree with you that kids have every right to see her, but if she is still suicidal, I do not think I would trust her with them alone. Be careful, and make sure you have all your cards right on the table. My advice, file for full custody if you haven’t already (make sure it is documented), file for her to pay child support, and Find yourself a new lawyer, if he didn’t already recommend all this to you. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Filing for Divorce & Bank account

    The Question:

    My husband and I are going through a divorce, he just filed (FINALLY!!!!) and we live in Cali. I’m currently in Maine and would like to know if I open a bank account would he be able to take the money in MY account if he wanted to? Before he filed for divorce we had a joint account and he took all the money in that and closed the account. I’m not using a lawyer, nor is he so I’m just going to let it go.

    Will I be safe if I open my own account in Maine?

    Thanks!

    My Response:

    Dear Maine;

    Call a lawyer and check the laws where you will be finalizing your divorce (You can get a free consultation); however, I do not think he can take money out of your personal account in another state or another bank. He was able to take all the money from your joint account because he was under the account with you. He should not be able to access your account or have any of the information if you are opening a new account with only your name. Make sure to add a security question so if he tries calling saying that he is your husband the bank will know to ask the security question first. You can also have the bank note that he should not call or access anything under your account. Good luck, and sorry about the divorce, but I am sure you are better off without him.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • California woman earns college diploma at age 94

    The amazing story of a 94 year old women, finally getting her college diploma:

    Wow I found this article on Yahoo.com, if this does not inspire a student to keep going for their dreams I do not know what will.

    Read on….

    It’s never too late to go back to college and get your college degree. I know you hear that a lot sometimes, but when you hear this story, you might just think I am right.

    The story:

    Hazel Soares is 94 years old and she was able to achieve what most of us do not or feel like we can not accomplish at our age.

    Hazel Soares was one of 500 students to get their dipoma Saturday at Mills College.

    “It’s taken me quite a long time because I’ve had a busy life,” said Soares. “I’m finally achieving it, and it makes me feel really good.” (yahoo.com)

    Hazel Soares has six children and 40 grandchildren and great grandchildren. WOW I know, that is a lot of family, and with that she is the second oldest person in the world to graduate from college. Nola Ochs of Kansas was the oldest to graduate three years ago at the age of 95 and now topped that with a master’s degree in liberal studies from Fort Hays.

    Hazel Soares said she always wanted to go to college but when she was younger the Great Depression was happening and only people who can afford college went. She never gave up on her dream though, and with all in all has managed to do just that. Dream and make it come true. Hazel Soares plans on working for the San Francisco museum after this. I say good for you Soares, GO FOR IT!

    My thoughts:

    This women amazes me in every sense of the word. Sometimes I sit and I complain that College is not for me, how hard it is, and how much sacrifice I have to make to continue working on my education. Why didn’t I finish when I was younger etc etc. You can not change time and you can not change the life you are in. If you want something go for it! Nothing in this world can stop you, if you do not let it. Hazel Soares is an inspiration to many, and I think she will continue to be an inspiration to the students that graduated with her. This just proves to so many of us that when you really put your mind to something, when you really dream about something you want, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!

    Whenever you feel like you can not do something, whenever you feel helpless or too old, think about this story and ask yourself, Is it really impossible? I think NOT!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    You can find the full story about Hazel Soares on News.Yahoo.com

  • I want to leave home, what do I do?

    The Question:

    Starting at a young age I have been abused both mentally & physically… I am 18 now with a Boyfriend who keeps telling me to wait until I graduate which isn’t until next year. I feel that if I don’t leave now I am going to end up hurting them or myself. ** I plan to marry this guy… he’s going to propose when I graduate ( he is 20)** What should I do?

    My Response:

    Dear Abused;

    First you need to seek some type of counseling, I know sometimes it is hard to talk to someone, but sometimes it is what you need to feel better. Being abused mentally and physically isn’t something any child should have to render. You are 18, what are you doing still at home with an abusive family? Get out now, and get out fast, you do not have to stand for that kind of abuse any longer. It is going to be hard to be on your own, but if your boyfriend isn’t willing to move in together than you are going to have to make a hard decision and move out on your own. Find a job first before you move out and then find an apartment and move out. If your boyfriend who is 20 years old has a job and is going to marry you like you say when you graduate from high school, then I do not see any reason why he wouldn’t just want to move in with you now, to get you out of that house. Talk to your boyfriend first and if he isn’t willing to move in with you even after you guys have talked about getting married, I would re-evaluate your relationship, because I do not understand why he would allow or want you to stay in an abusive household. Get a job, find a place and move out. You deserve better.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com