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Category: Everyday Life

  • I’m 31, he’s 23 is it okay to get married?!?



    The Question:

    I’m a 31 year-old-girl and my boyfriend is 23…Is a boy 8 years younger than a girl OK for marriage?

    My Response:

    Dear 31 year old Girl;

    First things first, stop referring to yourself as a 31 year old ‘GIRL’. There is no such thing, you are a ‘WOMAN’. Second your boyfriend is 23 that doesn’t mean it’s not okay to get married, (again if he’s still a ‘BOY’ then you don’t need to be with him but if he’s a ‘MAN’ that’s a different story), if he’s mature and he’s ready to take that step then it can be great. My best friends husband is younger than her and they are very happy together. You have to however make sure that he’s mature enough and ready for such a commitment. 23 years old is a young age and he may just be having fun with an older woman right now, rather than really being serious about the relationship. You might be on a different level then him. I am not sure if this a subject the two of you have discussed or something you were just wondering about. I am not sure how long you have been together either to be able to give you more information. If you need more advice and want to give me more information on your relationship I would love to try and help. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • What is going on with my Girlfriend?

    The Question:

    OK me and my G/F had a big fight over the phone a few weeks ago, its a long distant relationship at the minute as she is from a different country. She came over here to live for 5 months but was getting very stressed because she was finding it hard to get work, so she moved back a couple of months ago and I have been out there a few times to see her and she will be moving back after the summer. Anyway after the fight she became very moody, we still talked everyday but not like B/F and G/F. A few days later I got a message saying I feel very emotional, I am trying to forget you so much but all I can think about is you. I really care for this girl and we decided to give it another go and I plan to go out there in a few weeks, but she has started to become very distant at the moment. She has just bought a car and I know its giving her a lot of financial strain, so yesterday I sent her a message saying “is everything OK, because at the moment you seem very distant, I care about you and I am worried about you”. This is the reply I got ‘Stop bothering me please leave me alone with my problems, I don’t need help, don’t make everything such a big deal. I will never take help from you, you know why’!! So i just replied you know where I am when you want to talk.

    I am just a bit confused with this sudden change of mood, I know there is no one else. Could anyone possibly help me?? Could it be that she is just worried and she doesn’t want to worry me, but she is being very distant like I say and that is making me worry more.

    My Response:

    Dear Long Distance;

    Long Distance = Disaster. If she was willing to move over there with you and be with you and decided to leave because it was too stressful not finding a job is BS! Life is stressful, but if you really love someone and you move to another country or State to be with them, 5 months is nothing and finding a job is hard, but if you were in it together than she should have stuck it out. Another question??? Why did she get a car she can’t afford?!? Perhaps this is a sign that she isn’t financially stable. I know you love her but it sounds to me that her pushing you away is an indication she isn’t sure she loves you back. I know you say she isn’t with anyone else, but it is a possibility, and it’s something you have to take into consideration, because people just don’t start distancing themselves for no reason. There is always a reason behind it! Find out, give her call and stop all this texting BS, tell her how you feel, and explain to her that you need to know how she feels and if she still wants to be with you and if she still wants to try and make things work. Don’t be scared for her answer, if she’s ready to move on, it’s probably for the best. Trust me everything happens for a reason, sometimes we aren’t meant to be with the people we think we are supposed to spend the rest of our lives with, and in a moment you’ll find that someone else, the person who IS right for you! Talk to your girlfriend, she either moves back with you to make things work, or you move over there, but something needs to be done, pushing you away isn’t the answer.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I think I like my bestfriend but I already have a bf?

    The Question:

    Well i have this guy friend, and we’ve been friends for nearly a year and a bit. The problem is that we are seeing other people and when they went away for vacay, we got closer to each other.

    We never talked very much and he was a really good listener when i had guy troubles and he would give me advise on how to go about it.
    After that, he said nice things to me, saying that i am an awesome person and ill always be here for you and what things like that,. (not to mention he always asks about me and my boyfriend)

    Thing is now, he and his girlfriend and things are kinda complicated for both of But what struck me most is how he said to me ” I think its safe to say now that i love you ( in a friendly way, of course) ”
    When he said that, that’s how it all started.

    And now has he also has been saying that “your in my wonderland” and that he is ‘thinking’ about him and me but wont tell me anymore than that. He also keeps asking me if I’ve missed him, but i cant really deny it because i have.

    Ive tried not to picture us together, and I’ve tried staying in the friends zone, but its the things he says and the way he makes me smile that i cant help but do fall in love.

    Can someone tell me what to do. I’m so confused. Please help? xoxox

    My Answer:

    Dear Complicated;

    It’s complicated. At his moment you are both in a relationship and if you are having feelings for your friend then perhaps you need to take a break from your current relationship to sort your feelings out. You don’t want to hurt your current boyfriend. Your friend also has a girlfriend and needs to decide what he wants to do. If he’s telling you all these things and giving off hints, he probably isn’t going to come up to you and tell you straight out how he feels, you are going to have to confront him. You also will have to make a choice, if he does truly like you more than just a friend, you need to decide whats more important, your friendship or trying to see if things work out more than just friends. Unfortunately sometimes it’s hard to be friends with another man, but it isn’t impossible, I’ve had many guy friends who have never been anything more than just friends, but in rare occasions feelings do change, and sometimes it’s just mixed feelings because we tend to confuse True Love with Lust or True Love with just loving a person/friend. It is possible to love another man and not be in love with them or visa versa. You have to take into consideration that if you do try to make it work beyond friendship and it doesn’t work there is a possibility that you won’t stay friends, in rare occasions to ex’s stay good friends, sometimes things are too awkward or you simply move on with another person, this is something you need to think about. Be honest with your friend and ask him what’s up? Once you have your answer you are going to have to make a decision. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Love vs. Education: which college should he choose?

    The Question:

    Long story short, I am a Junior in high school and my boyfriend is a Senior. Up until just a few days ago we had both been planning on going to college at Michigan State University so we could stay close to home and close together over the next few years. Then he got a letter from Polytech NYU trying to recruit him to go there (chemical engineering). From what I’ve heard, that’s a pretty awesome school. He is very smart, and I’m sure he would do exceptionally well at any school he chose, but long term, is it worth the separation and heartache for him to go to Polytech as opposed to MSU?

    My response:

    Dear college;

    This is a hard decision to make and you guys are still young, unfortunately if you stop him from going he could regret this in the future and end up blaming you, especially if you don’t work out in the long run and if you do work out, you don’t want him blaming you for not choosing the school he really wants to go to. Let him choose the college he wants to go to and if the two of you are really meant to be, you can try doing the whole long distance thing. If you really want to be with him, have you thought about looking at colleges in New York? They have a lot of great schools, but if your heart is set on Michigan, then don’t change schools for him. Again, I know its hard to hear, but the two of you are still very young and you don’t know whats going to happen in your futures, don’t push him away from the school he wants and if you guys really love each other you’ll try to find a way to make it work. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Short Story (Unknown Title)

    Sometimes when you see two people argue I wonder how it can be that two humans can be so different, how two people can think so differently on their own opinions. I’ve been in a couple relationships and I know that not one was easy. There were happy times, there were angry times, there were tears and sadness but mostly the times that I felt sadness were so over whelming, so hurtful that it makes you feel like giving up. WHAT IS LOVE?!? A four letter word some people use lightly, a four letter word some people think they know what it is but really don’t, because then they only love you “a little”, or a four letter word that truly just means nothing to someone because you have one fight, ONE FIGHT, that yes it was frustrating, and yes it made you angry, but isn’t that what couples do? FIGHT? So we had one fight and now he just wants to throw it all away, throw it the door the like nothing ever happened?

    Let me tell you my story….

    My name is Sophia Gomez, I was born in Spain and moved to Miami when I was 3 years old, so this is my home and it’s all I’ve ever truly known. I’m 29 years old and I’m an Interior Designer, I graduated when I was 22 years old and I’ve been doing this ever since. So enough about my background, let me tell you about my boyfriend. He’s 6’3, light blue eyes, brown hair , 32 years old and he’s British, enough said right? He caught my eye one night at a friends house, she had a house party, and he came with a friend because he was new in town. His name is Benjamin Smith, of course I call him Ben. He’s an attorney, he has his own firm and is one of the biggest partners there, but enough about what he does, back to us meeting. So after a couple of scotch on the rocks I had the courage to go up to him, I pushed my breast out, walked on over and said, Ben, I think you are the most attractive man I’ve seen in a long time, want to go back to my place?!?

    Okay, okay, so I didn’t do that, I was shy to go up to him, I always believed that the man should come up to you, so I waited in hopes he noticed me as everyone mingled. As the night went on, I barely got a glance, what was up with this guy, was he married, taken, what? I was wearing my best dress that made my breast curve oh so perfectly, and heals that made my legs go on for days. Okay so I was no Jennifer Aniston, but I thought I looked pretty damn good. As the night dwindled down, the party got smaller, and I thought this is my chance, this is my chance for him to notice to me. The group ended up being me my best friend (who was throwing the party) Greta, Allan her boyfriend, our friend Sandy who was hitting it off with Kevin and Ben. This was perfect, everyone was paired off, and now I can go for the kill. Okay okay, I sat on the couch with my scotch and asked if anyone wanted to play a game. Everyone was a little buzzed so they all excitedly wanted to know what game we were going to play. Lets play Never have I ever! Okay Sophia what are you doing, this game will let him know everything you’ve ever done before he even gets to know you; BUT has the words came out and I realized maybe this wasn’t such a good idea everyone was excited, even Ben. Ben had never played so he wanted to know more details on how you play this game. So I laid out the rules. Rule number one, a person says Never have I ever… and they say something they have never done before, everyone else needs to take a shot of their glass if they HAVE done it before, and when we run out of things we’ve never done, you can start saying things you have done. Rule number two, there are no other rules, have fun and start drinking! Who starts Greta asked, everyone was looking at me and now I felt pressured to start, okay okay I’ll start. Never have I ever had sex in a movie theater. (Okay so I fooled around, but that’s not sex, and Ben sure doesn’t need to know that on our first meeting each other). So up went one drink, poor Sandy, she admitted it and Kevin, well he seemed excited about it. Then out of the corner of my eye I see Ben take a shot, Oh no Ben did I need to know that you had sex with another women in a movie theater? Maybe I should take a shot just to block that memory out of my mind. Ben stood up, I’ll go next (with that sexy British accent), I wanted to melt right there in his arms and just start kissing him, I wondered how he kissed, I wondered how big his….focus Sophia…. Never have I ever had a piercing that is not on my ears. There goes my shot, and every other person in the room. Ben smiled and looked at me, I guess he’s wondering where else I might have piercing other than my ears. Well Ben this will be something you’ll have to find out later. Okay dirty minds, it’s not anywhere real special it’s just my belly ring. The night went on with Never have I ever till about 5 in the morning. We laughed and cried with how much we laughed and Kevin and Sandy disappeared around 4 a.m. Ben didn’t have a ride home, so of course I honorably offered to take him home. We ended up grabbing something to eat and stayed up talking until 8 in the morning. We talked about everything, interests, why he moved here, what I did, relationship statuses….BING BING BING (We both were single). He was very respectful that night, he gave me a kiss on the lips and went inside his apartment without asking me in. Yea that’s all sweet and nice, but I wanted to see more of that body, I wanted to feel him inside of me, but I guess it was nice that he just didn’t want to get me into bed the first night we met. I drove home, took a shower, a plopped into bed, daydreaming about being with Ben…

    To be continued…

    If you like the way the story is going and want to hear more, I would love to hear feedback, if you want something thrown in there I can see if I can make that happen too

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    written by: Kristin Nicole – 04.02.10 – Friday – 7:53 am

  • How to ask my fiance’s stepmom to back off?

    The Question:

    She has taken over planning our couple’s shower for our wedding. She has invited my mother (by Facebook message) and my fiance’s mother (by letter) to be involved, however she has themes and games and a bunch of BS planned without getting my mom or his mom’s input. HOW do I deal with her? She’s a complete control freak and I’ve about had enough. She won’t even let ME have a say in our party!
    Additional Details – I should also add:
    When she wrote the Facebook message to my mom and letter to my fiance’s mom she told them EXACTLY what the shower was going to be, what date etc without asking for their input. She didn’t give them a chance to give input…she just told them..this is it. As far as having input, I should say I wanted input in regard to location (my family is 6+hrs away as is my mom and his family is 1/2 here 1/2 12+ hrs away). The idea of the couples shower/party was so we could all be involved and have it be very relaxed.
    Who is paying for it? The initial idea was for our parents to all split it, but we haven’t been allowed to be apart of any of this (Oh and I didn’t get to pick the date, She did it without consulting either of our mothers).

    My response:

    Dear bride;

    This is a hard position to be in, but this is something definitely you need to do with your fiance. He’s also involved in this, (it’s his family) and she needs to know that the two of you care for her dearly, but this is your wedding shower, and you would like for your mom and his mom to also be involved. If she wants to help that’s fine, but it is your shower, and there are certain things you want and don’t want. If she still doesn’t understand then you have to make the choice of letting it go and letting her run your shower or laying down the rules and being a complete bi***. Unfortunately sometimes we need to be tough for people to get the point. She seems like the controlling type so if you want your shower to be what you want it to be then be honest with her and tell her how it is. Don’t be shy, things like this can’t be held in, it’s part of your big day, and it should be as you see fit. She can’t pick a date without asking you, that is when you really needed to lay down the rules. Explain to her that you need to know what is what, and you would like to plan it yourself. Things like this would make me so upset, and there is no way I would let someone Facebook my mother or mother in law, that’s just ridiculous. Be firm and let her know who’s boss.
    Good luck keep me updated

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

    April 1, 2010

  • Two guys, do I choose anyone of them?

    The Question:

    Guy Number 1:
    I have someone new in my life. This person is the only one who has crossed oceans to see me. He’s come to visit twice in New York and Japan. He even told me he loved me and cried when asked him what we were. He said friends. You live far away and we really can’t put a label on this Now he is distancing himself.

    Guy Number 2:     This guy just this past week got in contact with me.
    I had strong feeling for him in 2008. When he broke up with his girl friend he came after me. Things eventually did not last. I decided to stop talking to him even though he wanted to safe the friendship. Now he emailed me just to catch up and thank me for taking him to concert back when we had a thing.We talked over the net for 1 hour. He said he missed talking to me and that I reminded him of someone very close to us. Men are strange..

    Is this sign that I’m just a good friend to all these guys.

    My response:

    Dear friend;

    Lets start with Guy #1 – I agree with him that you should just stay friends, long distance relationships are hard, I am not saying they don’t work out but the percentage of them actually working is low. It’s a little extreme to travel so far to see you, and I can see where you are getting mixed signals, but be happy that he was honest with you and he isn’t leading you on by saying he does want to have a relationship, later only to find out he’s with someone else because you are just way too far. Stay friends with this guy, he seems like a good guy.

    Guy #2 – It’s good to catch up sometimes but if things didn’t work out the first time, sit back and evaluate why it didn’t work out. How old were you, and some people mature after a few years, it has been 2 years since you last saw him. It could also just mean that the guy was lonely and decided to try and talk to you again because he remembered what a cool girl you are. I wouldn’t totally push this guy away if you like him, but I would keep my guard up. If you want to just stay friends with him, I don’t see anything wrong with that, but if he wants something more and you don’t, be honest with him and let him know you just aren’t into him in that way anymore. He lost his chance the first time, sometimes things don’t work out for a reason.

    Don’t think of yourself as just a good friend to these guys, they might like you more then that, but sometimes things don’t work out. Find yourself a new guy that is in the same City and start to date, and one that isn’t an ex boyfriend.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I thought I married a man and not a child?

    The Question:

    Why can’t men clean themselves better?
    I swear when I do the laundry it’s like I have 4 little boys, I have three boys ages 4-6-9 and my husband and they all leave skid marks.
    How does my husband expect me to be sexually attractive to him after seeing stains each laundry?

    My response:

    Dear mother of 4;

    Okay first I have to just say it…. EWWEEE! Second, tell your husband as bluntly as possible that he isn’t 4, 6 or 9 and to learn how to clean his ass better. I mean if he needs to carry around wipes then just do it, but PLEASE, oh PLEASE learn how to clean your ass like a grown man! Explain to him how you feel, exactly what you wrote here “How do you expect me to be sexually attractive to you after seeing stains in your underpants”? Ask him if he would like to see stains on your underpants? I’m sure that might be an eye opener for him. Unfortunately men never grow up, and you have 3 little boys plus a husband who, well lets face it, isn’t going to change, but this is just something you have to start teaching your boys now so that they don’t turn out like their father (in this department, that is). Good luck, and be blunt with your husband, and if he can’t learn to wipe his ass correctly, you can tell him to wash his own underwear from now on.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Is this any of the EX wife’s business?

    The Question:

    My step-son will be 18 in Aug. He has been promised a job and wants to move in with his dad and me. We told him if this job comes through then we would get a personal loan in order for him to purchase a used car. We told him he would have to make the payments on the loan and pay his own insurance. He agreed. My hubby called his EX wife and asked her if this was ok with her. I feel it is none of her business. She isn’t going to be part of the loan application, making the payments or the insurance plus the child will be 18 when this takes place.

    My response:

    Dear Step-Mom;

    I understand where you are coming from, but just because he’s 18 doesn’t mean the mother won’t worry about her son, or that she isn’t going to want to know what’s going on with him. I don’t know the situation between the son and his mother and why he wants to move in with you guys, but I have to agree with your husband on this one BUT not entirely. Let me explain….I agree with him giving the Ex wife the heads up, she has a right to know what is going on with her son, and that he will be driving soon and living with you guys, I don’t agree with asking for “approval”, after all he is going to be 18 therefor any share custody or full custody is now out of the question. I don’t think that she needs to approve anything, he will be 18 and the father has every right to get him a car or do as he pleases with his son, however I think it’s just nice of him to give her the heads up, I don’t think it should bother you much, it really isn’t going to change anything. Trust your husband and the way he’s handling things, and don’t worry so much about what the Ex wife needs to know or doesn’t need to know. Now if he’s telling her personal stuff about your life then that’s things she DOESN’T need to know. Other then that, I think telling her about the car is fine, having to get approval is NOT fine.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I get too involved with my daughters social life..what can I do to stop?

    The-Question:

    I never realized how hard it is being a parent until my daughter reached middle school. I feel like I get too involved with her social life. Don’t get me wrong, she talks to me about everything and I give my opinion. However, I notice A LOT that I will take her cell phone and read her messages. She doesn’t get mad.. maybe sometimes irritated but never mad. I guess I just want to make sure everything is good and there are no mean texts from other girls etc. She is very liked but sometimes I worry about jealousy and kids can be brutal.. especially girls. I know that when I was in 6th grade it was the worst time of my life. I was new in school.. boys liked me and the girls absolutely hated me because of it. They treated me so badly that I would cry in my room every night and always felt sick to my stomach. Once they moved and I continued into the 7th grade it was better. But when I moved my freshman year into another new school the same thing happened. (my dad was in the military) I ended up hanging out with Seniors because they took me under their wing because of the way my class was treating me. BTW.. It got better and ended up being the best years of my life. However, I worry about my daughter. I try to teach her at a young age that she should never “date” her friends ex boyfriends. Her and her boyfriend broke up which she is OK with it.. she’s young, they don’t do anything that would make them cry.. at least yet. But one of her best friends ex started texting her asking her out and she said no she couldn’t do that to her best friend. Her friend found out, thinks that she likes him and now she likes my daughters ex. It’s so crazy and so much drama it drives me crazy. I feel like I’m living my life through my daughter all over again. Her two friends are mad at her and I immediately felt sick to my stomach the same way I did when I was her age. Why am I like this?? I couldn’t go to sleep last night because I’m so worried about her but she’s not having any of the feelings like I did. She’s going on like everything is OK and I’m so proud of her for that. But why can’t I get over it? She is a good girl, can pout a lot sometimes but overall, she’s great. Makes really good grades, very athletic, very pretty, and most importantly has a good heart. Are their any other moms or dads out there that feel the way I do or am I just retarded?!?!? LOL.. It really bothers me. I don’t know how to stop thinking my life is going to be hers… Sincere advice would be greatly appreciated.

    My response:

    Dear too involved;

    My mom goes through this with my sister a lot, wanting to know everything, and always giving advice, driving yourself crazy because you don’t want your kid to make the same mistakes you made, or in your case, you don’t want her to feel the way you felt when you were her age. It’s good to give advice, and it’s great that your daughter goes to you about everything, this alone should give you peace of mind into thinking and knowing you don’t need to go through your daughters phone, you need to baby her every step of the way. I know it’s hard to see someone you love grow up, and you don’t want them getting hurt. I think your main problem is you are trying to re-live your life through hers, and you are still hurt from what happened to you so many years ago. You need to let that go, the past is the past and you are doing just great now, and that’s all that matters, Don’t look at it has a bad thing, even if you did cry all those nights, it’s what made you into the strong women you are today. You even said it yourself, the rest of your high school years ended up to be one of your greatest. Let your daughter make her mistakes, be there for her and give her advice, but it sounds to me like your daughter is living her life just fine. In middle school, things are always hard, it’s the awkward stage of life, girls are going to get jealous and they are going to get into fights, let your daughter fight her own battles and don’t worry about her so much. She is obviously doing just fine with what is going on right now with her friends. They’ll get over it, and they will be friends again, that’s what teenagers do. And if she looses a friend, she’ll only come to realize that, that person wasn’t a friend to begin with, and she has all her life to meet and make new and great friends. She has so many more years of awkward stages, and fights with friends, you can’t drive yourself crazy trying to fix every little fight she has. She’ll be fine, just look at you now; Your fine, and it seems to me by what you said, that your daughter is already doing just FINE! Just remind yourself when you feel like going through her phone, that your daughter is smart, and you have taught her right from wrong, and she will know how to handle anything that comes her way, and if she has a question just remind her that you are always there to give her advice.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com