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Category: Everyday Life

  • Stressed & Overwhelmed?!

    Overwhelmed

    So lately I have just been overwhelmed with life in general. As you know, and if you don’t know I’ll tell you now….I take on-line classes to finish my degree. Now for some people school is easy, for others like myself, not so much. It’s hard for me to concentrate and comprehend half of what I’m reading, especially after a Full Time day at work. So after 9 hours of being at work, I go home to get back on the computer to study. I do on-line classes because it seems to be easier than having to make it to a campus on time before class starts, you can also open your computer whenever you want, instead of having to be in class at a certain day and time. Now although it seems like a much easier way out, it’s quite difficult. There is more reading involved in short periods before the next quiz or test is due. I feel like it’s going to take me forever to finish school because I can only take 2 classes a semester. (So some grownup advice: Stay in school kids), seriously. It’s so much easier when your 18. I had more energy back then to work full time and go to school full time. Now I barely go part time and I feel exhausted. I guess it also doesn’t help that I don’t sleep right. Well that’s another story….

    When I grow up

    Aside from school and the overwhelming need to do good, Work isn’t so bad. I have my busy days, but I prefer it, my day goes faster this way. Only thing I can say is I wish I enjoyed working more. Does anyone really enjoy working? Does anyone really love their job? So these questions go back to school. What do I want to be when I “GROW UP”? I still don’t know, another frustrating FACT! I started off by wanting to get a Business Degree, sure it’s generic, so you can pretty much go in any field and say, here is my degree. I come to find out, I may have to take a lot of Math courses. And oh how I LOVE MY MATH! (If you can’t tell I’m being Very Sarcastic). I never liked math, actually I remember as far as 4th or 5th grade when my math teacher had to call my mom in for a conference. For some reason unknown, when it comes to test I have a block in my mind. I can study and you can ask me the questions and I’ll know them, but when it comes down to taking the test, I would fail. So, do I really want to stick with Business? The question that never has an answer.

    Changing my mind

    I thought about going into journalism, but then I hear all these stories of how hard it is to even get a job, especially now with the way the economy is. But I have always wanted to write a book, about what?! Not quite sure yet. If having my own article one day would happen, would that make me happy. It would make me ecstatic. That’s what this website is the beginning of….Make a “Ask Kristin” website. So go ahead, give it a shot. Ask away, and I have tons of advice =)

    Back to the subject

    So back to the being stressed, and overwhelmed, as you can see, although it doesn’t compare to most people’s stress. It does however, stress me out, not knowing what the future holds. Then of course there are also a few in between stuff I didn’t mention here. Like finding a house, hasn’t been easy. Oh how I look forward to the day of having my own place again and feeling that relaxation that comes with it. And the fact that you can walk around naked whenever you want, well that helps a little too 😉

    Conclusion

    Conclusion, conclusion??? Stay in School, think positive “I can do this, I will do this”. Happy & blessed that I have a job. Having faith in finding that house that I will call Home one day. Finding out what it is I want to do when I GROW UP!

    I found this quote and liked what it said: “The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.”~ Ben Stein

    Now if Only I can find what it is I want?!?!

    There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.
    ~ Christopher Morley (1890 – 1957)

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

  • How do you deal with Grief?

    Everywhere I look I see people are dieing around us everyday. You don’t notice it because it doesn’t involve you. But what if one day it does?

    Stephen Foster Elementary School teacher killed in collision on Interstate 95

    Monday, March 9th a school teacher by the name of Sharon Braun was killed on the I95. She wasn’t only a school teacher though, she was a mother, a grandmother and a friend to many people. She was hit by a semitrailer truck, her car flipped and she was pronounced dead on the scene. Her 4 grandchildren with her, only suffering minor bruises. This will be something her grandchildren will have to suffer through, something they will never forget. The tragic day they lost their grandmother. You can read more on the story Here. How do you go on to live through such a memory? A memory that will remain in your mind forever.

    Grieving

    Family and Friends will go through a stage called “The Grieving Stage”. After loosing someone you love, you can go through up and downs. Different emotions that you don’t know what to do with. You may feel shock, anger and guilt. All of these feelings are normal. Some stay in denial at first, not wanting to believe that the person they love is gone. Angry that the world has taken them away. Or guilty, because maybe you could have done something, or said something to prevent this from happening. Sometimes you may even feel like the sadness inside you won’t go away. I promise you it will at least get better with time.

    It’s not Easy, but you Can Do it!

    Life is hard, having to go through these feelings. Feelings you don’t understand, and don’t want to understand. This is normal to feel this way when you have gone through a loss. You have to accept these feelings as part of your grieving stage. Once you have accepted your feelings, you can learn to live with them and surpass them. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but there are healthy ways to cope with the pain. You can get through it though, we all do.

    If you learn from your suffering, and really come to understand the lesson you were taught, you might be able to help someone else
    who’s now in the phase you may have just completed. Maybe that’s what it’s all about after all… ~Anonymous

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

  • Twitter is getting huge

    I look at the news, I open up Yahoo, MSN, Google & everywhere I go I seem to hear or read about TWITTER. The first time I had heard of it was from my boyfriend. He told me to sign up to try and promote Soapnights, so that’s exactly what I started doing. Before that though, I had never heard about Twitter, from friends, from other people especially not the news. Lately though seems like it’s talked about, pretty much everywhere, and everyone. For example, this morning I read “Broward school officials tweet their news”. You can link Here for the story. They signed up and now they are tweeting, updated news & if there is a hurricane, what to do. It’s amazing how one website can become so popular.

    How long will this last though? Is it a phase people are going through, or is it something that will really last a long time?!? I have to admit, I myself am a bit addicted. Some people, like the CEO of Twitter Evan Williams or @ev uses twitter to say “Lessons from today: Obama’s team: smart and committed. Learned a lot and was inspired. Also: people should take my tweets less seriously.”

    Some like @tonycarrera write: “Watching Tottenham vs Man Utd FA Cup Quaterfinal replay. Great game so far.” Others simply promote what they are trying to make big in life, whether it’s their business or blog, or website or sometimes like most, a little of both. I do a little of both myself.

    I think its amazing such a simple website has become so big. Way to go TWITTER. I’m loving it =)

    If you wish to follow me on twitter go to my sidebar, and you’ll see where you can follow me. Or simply go to @soapnights or @kristinquintas. Twitter away…

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

  • Social Anxiety, Bad Relationships

    A friend of mine who was/is/sort of dating this guy has social anxiety. Now I say was/is/sort of because it’s an on and off relationship, and I just don’t know where they stand right now. So back to the story, my friend can’t even be out in a restaurant with him before he starts asking for the check. He doesn’t like to hang out with her friends, only the 2 friends he has. They don’t go out & they spend all their time in his room. Is this a relationship?

    What is social anxiety disorder?

    Most people occasionally feel the familiar signs of nervousness when meeting new people or speaking in front of a group. But for people with social anxiety disorder, or social phobia, these signs of nervousness are much worse. Their fear of everyday social situations makes it very difficult for them to function on a daily basis. Social anxiety disorder affects about 10.5 million Americans in any given year. Social anxiety disorder occurs more often in women than in men.

    The story
    But in this case it’s the male who is suffering from Social Anxiety. Now is it really social anxiety he has? Or is it something deeper, something else that is causing him to not even hang out with her friends. He has only been able to go to one of her friends house, and even there he is begging to leave and gets mad because he says they make him feel unwanted. What is this about? Get a grip I would say! Man up! What is your problem??? But what if his problem really is Social Anxiety? Can she live with this? I am one of her closest friends and I’m still waiting to meet the guy. It’s been over 6 months~!?

    Unhappy
    She hasn’t been happy in a long time, and they have nothing in common but watching shows on t.v. That isn’t a relationship. And yet she holds on to only reasons she knows. I can’t utterly understand the concept of staying in a relationship you aren’t happy in. Okay I take that back, I was in a relationship I wasn’t happy in. But to my defense I really wanted to be happy! Okay, so that’s how most of us women think! Even though we tell our girlfriends and deep down know that we aren’t happy, we still somehow come up with all these reasons to stay in a relationship, even though it’s tearing you apart inside.

    Why???
    Why do we do this? I guess a lot of us want to help that person (if they do have a problem such as social anxiety), or your don’t want to be alone, or you believe that you are so in love that you can’t find someone better, and some of us (no offense) are just stupid. Hey I was STUPID! DUMB, YOU name it, THAT WAS ME! But I opened my eyes and I realized that you cannot change or help a person that doesn’t want to be helped. And you cannot hope to be happy, you either are or you aren’t.

    Make a Change
    Put yourself first for once and do what is right for you. Don’t be scared to hurt the other person. In the long wrong they will see it too, that you are only doing what is right for the both of you. Why does he/she want to be with someone that doesn’t love them? And why do you want to stay with someone you don’t love? Move on!

    My Advice
    Back to my friend…Giving her my advice I would say. You are beautiful, smart, fun, don’t settle, find someone you love and that loves you back and that will be willing to do things you like. (Hanging out w/ your friends, going to the movies, dinner). Don’t settle because you have had some crummy relationships and he seems nice. Nice sometimes isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be. You need more than nice! You need love, laughter, trust. That’s another issue in itself TRUST! (He goes through her text messages). Then he confronts her on her text messages. (wow). So friend, the road is tough, and the journey’s are hard, but keep on moving because you’ll pull through stronger than ever and you will one day, I PROMISE find that man that will truly make you happy! (And that advice is to all women/or men out there who think they can’t find anyone better than the person they are with now). Trust me you can! I let go of the unhappiness and now I FOUND what is real. I found love and I couldn’t thank god anymore than I already do for giving me the strength to finally let go and move on. So be strong, and move one from that rut you say you can’t possibly get out of. Because I KNOW YOU CAN! & YOU WILL.

    The strength of the heart comes from the soundness of the faith. – Saudi Arabian Proverb

    XO, Kristin Nicole

    If you want to learn more about Social Anxiety and get books etc. Go to: Socialphobia.org.

  • Missing NFL players Marquis Cooper & Corey Smith

    I was reading the story about how they saved one man so far, Nick Schuyler. The other 3 men are missing. Marquis Cooper, Corey Smith & former South Florida player William Bleakley. The story is very sad, when you hear Nick Schuyler tell Bleakley’s mother Betty Bleakley how they all held on and tried to stay together. William Bleakley went under the boat to get the life jackets for the others while he held on to a cushion flotation.

    Coast Guards closed down the search Tuesday, stating that if the men were alive they would have found them already. Family and friends still have hope and have started their own search out to sea.

    A childhood friend and teammate of Cooper at Washington Tank Johnson, was said to be taking a lead role in the renewed search. Johnson said the family has not given up hope that the men are still alive. “I truly believe he is out there somewhere being strong,” Johnson said.

    We all hope this is true. I pray for their families, and for their safe return. The truth is that it would be a miracle at this point for the men to be alive. Nick Schuyler’s doctor, Dr. Mark Rumbak said Nick was in good condition but they will keep him in the hospital to make sure there are no complications. He said Nick Schuyler probably would have lived another five to ten hours out there. He states: “I think he is extremely fortunate.” “I can’t explain it. Some divine providence, I really think.”

    The waters were about 68 degrees, it’s hard to survive too long out there in that type of temperature. Still the family has hope and continues to search. Johnson stated that even if the men aren’t found alive at least the bodies will give the family some type of closure.

    It always saddens me to hear these types of stories, I read about it when it first happened, and now I read that they have only found one man and that they stopped the search. I hope for the family and friends who are out there searching, that they find them. I hope that they are okay, and with this miracle the family will be okay.

    I found this quote, and thought it was just right:
    “For what is faith unless it is to believe what you do not see?” ~Anonymous

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

    If you want to read the full story Click on the Link Here.

  • Teacher fired on sex-call allegation

    What is the world coming to when we can’t even trust the people who are teaching our children?

    The Story
    A Broward teacher was fired Tuesday after allegedly making a sexual phone call to a former student. He new this girl when she was in the 4th and 5th grade. The young girl was going to her younger sisters graduation in May 2007. Digg asked the younger sister to give his number to her sister. Digg is a 41-year-old music teacher at Plantation Elementary, he described his sexual fantasies and talked about oral sex while on the phone with the 16 year old. He also allegedly masturbated while on the phone with her. They say 2 more students over heard this conversation.

    Digg was suspended with pay but later was suspended with out pay that ultimately left him fired. They say he can appeal in front of a judge, but do you think he would be that dumb to keep moving forward with this.

    SHOCKED…
    It just astonishes me every time I hear a story like this. I’m not shocked in the sense, I don’t think these kind of things happen. I’m well aware they do, I hear about it all the time. That’s the problem though, we hear this kind of news all the time. This is news that should be shocking and should not even happen. If we can’t trust our children to be at school with their teachers, where do we leave them, how will they learn?

    Each and everyday their cases of Child Abuse, Child molestation, & sick people who do things like this. It’s sad that our world is so corrupt with such wickedness.

    Life’s not always fair. Sometimes you can get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow. ~Cherralea Morgen

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

    If you want to read more about this story Click on The Link Here.

  • Support your Partner, Family &/or Friends?

    How do you know when it’s the right time to support the partner, family or friend you are with?

    I heard on the radio the other day a women calling in, saying that she wanted to own her own business. Her husband didn’t want to support her. He said they didn’t have money for it and she couldn’t do it. She didn’t let that stop her, she got a loan and opened up her own business and now she is doing great. She says she doesn’t give him a dime and she can do as she pleases because since he didn’t support her he has no say in her business now. Why wouldn’t her husband support her?

    Support
    If my boyfriend told me he wanted to do something that can make him money, whether or not I agree with it, and whether it’s something I would do or not, I would support him. Why? Because it will make him happy. And what makes him happy makes me happy. Whether it works out in the end or not doesn’t matter. If it didn’t work then you take your losses and you start over. But at least you know you tried. If it does work, even better! I can understand if the terms of building a new idea was going to cost you to invest a lot of money, money you perhaps don’t have. I can see, where being hesitant to support your partner comes in here. If this isn’t the circumstance then I don’t see the problem. Don’t bring someone else’s dream down just because you may think it won’t work out.

    To Support or Not to Support???
    Now how do you know what to support them in and what not to support them in? Some people mistake this a lot believe it or not. If the person you know is doing drugs, but you are afraid to tell them how bad that is for them, or that they need help, or you think they will get mad at you. This is the time to not support there habit. This is a totally different situation than the one I described above. Do you care for them? Love them? Then take your chances, because when that person truly realizes that what you are doing is because you care for them and love them then they’ll get over the anger, but don’t support there habit. Help them by supporting their recovery. Be there for them by helping them not making it worse.

    Do not Support
    If someone you know drinks too much, same thing. Tell them they need to stop or your relationship is going to disintegrate. I know it’s harsh, but they need to know these things, and if they truly want to help themselves and they truly love you, they will at least try.

    Try to support the person you love the best way you know how. Everyone needs to make their own steps in life and learn from them, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t help push them in the right direction sometimes. Supporting someone’s dream and supporting someones drug or alcohol problem are two different things. By supporting someone in who is addicted to something is not helping them it’s only making it worse.

    ~Note: This is only my opinion take my advice if you choose to. ~ Thank you ~

    “We should never permit ourselves to do anything that we are not willing to see our children do”. – Brigham Young

    “At the end of every hard day, people find some reason to believe. – Bruce Springsteen

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

  • What is your biggest fear?

    What is your biggest fear?

    So many people in the world have fears, that we have to learn to live with each and every day.

    Different Fears
    Some people have fears such as Public speaking, Getting fat, Going out alone at night, Going to the dentist, Own death, Spiders and insects, Swimming in the ocean, Being in high, exposed places like Mount Everest, Flying in planes, Being in a crowd of people, Being in the dark, loosing the people you love.

    For me it’s many things, but what hurts the most and what scares me the most is loosing another person that I love. Sometimes I close my eyes and this feeling comes over me, this feeling called Happiness. It feels so warm, so good, I never want it to leave. But we all know that in our life time, we are bound to loose the people we love, weather it’s family and they pass away, or it’s a loved one, who passes away or just falls out of love.

    Sometimes in life you go through hardships, you loose people that you love and you have to overcome these obstacles and you have to learn to live with out them. I was once asked, “But what if you feel like you can’t live with out this person in your life”? That feeling is scary, because sometimes you can not control the people that will enter and leave your life. Somehow we are all stronger than we think, in the moments of sadness and despair, you may feel as if you can’t move on, like your whole world is crashing down on you. Somehow though, we all manage to keep living, keep moving forward and living our lives. Because life moves on no matter who leaves, and no matter how sad you are, we learn to live with out them.

    Each day people live in fear, some overcome their fears and some live and die with their fears.

    What is your biggest fear?

    There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. ~David Burns, Intimate Connections

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

  • Small moments do matter!

    When I was younger I felt sometimes as if my world was falling apart. I didn’t know what to do, where to turn. If I went right, I was supposed to go left. I held people in my hearts to the highest power, until they lost my trust. Then I blocked them out of my life, because who needs someone in their lives who is only going to hurt you?

    You feel
    Sometimes you lie down and you feel as if the world is spinning, almost as if the world will come crashing down on you any second, and when you finally get the courage to open your eyes and look out the window you can truly see the world isn’t spinning anymore. You take a deep breath and start another day with a smile on your face. Not all days were like this, but most of them. Hiding behind a shield, pretending to be someone your not, only to realize you don’t even know who you are anymore. When did you start pretending and when did it get so far that you lost yourself? Questions asked, answers un-answered.

    Small bit of hope
    Then there comes a time in your life when you finally realize things need to change, you need to change. For the better. I used to think like this. Struggling to find a way out of a hole I put myself in, yet I couldn’t find the way out. But has I got older I started to realize that life comes with it’s ups and downs, and sometimes weather we like it or not we have to sit down and realize that even if we aren’t happy in that moment doesn’t mean we’ll feel like this forever. A small bit of hope entered my heart, and this is what kept me going….

    Never give up
    Strive for what you want don’t let it go, no matter how many tears, no matter how much anger or burdened feelings you have inside, get up and fight for what you want. Because if life as taught me anything in the 26 years of living, it’s taught me to be strong, to live life in the moments that sometimes just seem to pass you by. When you finally realize how not to take things so personal you also start to realize the world isn’t so bad.

    Things do get better
    As you grow older you start to see the world in a different light. You start to notice that not all flowers bloom in the spring. Thinking positive and believing in what you want is what makes you stronger. Look at the small moments in your life that made you laugh, or smile. Aren’t those the moments you always remember. People take life for granted, they don’t realize that the smallest moments in your lives sometimes are the greatest moments you will ever experience. I remember when I was about 7 or 8 years old and I was hanging out with my grandmother that day (on my dad’s side). She told me she had a surprise for me. My surprise: Taco Bell. I was ecstatic, taco bell, my favorite, when I was little. Small moment = Great moment. We spent the entire day together, eating at Taco Bell, Playing board games and watching The Price Is Right! Again small moment = GREAT MOMENT! I have had many small moments in my life that made me smile. For my birthday I went with my boyfriend to Key Biscayne and with our new camera, we spent the day taking pictures. Some may think this was a small moment, but to me it was a GREAT Moment. I had so much fun, just relaxing and taking pictures. It was almost as if I was somewhere else just for a few hours.

    Whats my point
    Whats my point? One point in my life I felt as if the walls were closing in on me. I had locked myself in a box with no way out. Then I grew up, I realized that there is more out there in the world. There is so much more to see and feel. Even though life is hard and we remember the pain that we go through, you have to sit back and remember all the good times you have had too. Life is too short to only remember the bad. Close your eyes and picture a time you felt really happy. Wasn’t that a great moment in your life?

    Small Moments = GREAT MOMENTS!!!!!

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

  • Who is to blame?

    I have a friend who continues to contemplate weather or not to break up with her boyfriend. I can’t stop to think, what is she thinking? But who is ever thinking anything when they believe things can work? When you do love this person, but sometimes can’t distinguish at the time weather it’s love (for a friend) or I’m in love (you are my soul mate).

    She has tried to open up to him and change some of her flaws, (we all have them), but it never seems to be enough. I think in any relationship you try to change the things the other person may not like. I don’t mean to change your whole persona, you are who you are, and the person you are with should love you for you. When I say change, I MEAN like you don’t normally throw your laundry in the basket you throw it on the floor, and the person you are with dislikes this, you can change. Just throw it in the basket from now on. Small changes make a world of a difference.

    I can truly say I know both people. I know her boyfriend and I used to hang out with him a lot while they were in there long distance portion of the relationship. He has a lot of issues with his past and his family and trust is a factor he doesn’t carry very often. He can’t take responsibility for things he may have fault in and everything always seems to be her fault. Is that right? To always blame the other person? To never see your own fault? How much easier it is to blame the other person, so that if things end…”It wasn’t me. I tried my best, she/he left me. Poor Me”.

    Don’t cry about it, see what you are doing wrong yourself. Don’t you want to try and work it out with this person you say you “LOVE”? Then when the other person in this case, (the girl) tries to tell you how she feels, tries to reach out, you (in this case the guy), tries to turn things around as if it was all her fault. And poor little boy who cries in the corner gets dumped by his girlfriend. GIVE ME A BREAK! Grow up, be a man, stand up for what you really want. And if it’s not her, just tell her, but don’t play games and make yourself look like the victim. Don’t pretend as if she is to blame for the entire relationship falling apart. (Now I’m not to say it’s always the guy, there are situations where the girl acts this way).

    He told her he might move away for school, but he wasn’t sure, and this was decided before they became a couple. But don’t you think that now that they are a couple he should talk to her about this? He is moving to other side of the country, I’m not talking a few hours away. I’m talking plane ride, couple days in a car distance. This isn’t something you just do when you are with someone you say you love. Am I right, or am I thinking selfishly here? I don’t think you should stop your future plans especially if it’s for school, but it would be nice to have an adult discussion as to what may happen with “us” if you move away.

    I just hope that she truly chooses what is best for her, that she can see she deserves better. That anyone in that position guy or girl deserves better. And if you aren’t happy, get out, move on. There is someone out there for everyone, there as to be. I can not believe other wise. Because when I lost love more than once, I thought this is it, I’m going to be alone and never find anyone. Then god showed me that you just have to learn from your mistakes, or the mistakes of others and when you least expect it you find that person who is for you.

    This saying is small but cute – “If you love me, let me know. If not, please gently let me go”. ~Anonymous

    Relationships aren’t easy, but if you truly love the person you are with, you always try to make it work.

    If you have your own relationship stories, or questions please email me Soapnights@gmail.com. Don’t be shy, I’ll only tell you what I think, you can take it from there… =)

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole