I feel like I’m losing control of how I feel. Sometimes I feel okay and happy and other times I am feeling like the world is passing me by and I don’t know how to make it slow down. I feel like nothing right is going on in my life, and as much as I try, I feel like I am stuck in the same place I have been in for the last few years. How do I try to get out of this rut and into making things happen?
~Feeling Lost
My Response:
Dear Feeling Lost;
It’s normal to feel lost sometimes, I think at one point in everyone’s life we sometimes wonder where our lives are going. If you feel like you are stuck, try to write down a few goals you want to finish (realistic time frame goals) before the year is over. We can not sit and wait for things to happen in life, sometimes we need to get up and push a little. If you are looking for a career change, maybe it’s time to go back to school. If you already have your education then get out there and start applying to every job that interests you. If you have the dream job and you are more concerned with financial stability, then talk to your boss about a raise or start looking for another job that will pay you more. If you just feel like you are stuck where you are, just know that you are never truly stuck. You can always move, and try something different. If you are in a relationship and you feel you are stuck there too, then talk to your boyfriend/girlfriend, see where your relationship is going. I am not sure exactly where you feel stuck, so I am just putting things out there. Feeling stuck can be draining sometimes. Sometimes we have to truly sit back and reflect on what we want to change. It isn’t going to be easy but when we push ourselves, you will be surprised at how far you can go.
I know what it feels like
I know what it takes
I know deep inside you feel lost
A wall you have built
To let everyone out
Hoping that will make things better
Losing yourself within the doubt
When things start looking better
You sabotage your own results
Living a lie not in pleasure
You cry in bed at all costs
I know how you feel
I was there too
Not knowing who you are
Pretending to be two
Living in the dark
Not knowing where to go
Living a lie of happiness
When all you feel is alone
You don’t have to cry
You don’t have to feel alone
You don’t need to defy all the odds
You have to just let go
Let go of the sadness, of the anger and tears
Look deep inside yourself
And get rid of all your fears
Deep down there is a way
Even though you may not see
But everyone at one point feels alone
You just have to wake up and see
That although you do not want to hear it, see it or believe it
Family is always there
Because we care.
Take a moment to see who you are
Know that in the end you will go far
You have to have faith and see what we see
Because deep down inside you want to be free,
And the only way to do that is to be honest with yourself
remember that in the end, you can only change yourself.
When everything seems dark and hasty
look into my eyes and you will see
that everything you dreamed about is right in front of me
Don’t shut me out
Don’t hide behind your wall
Stop pretending you are someone you are not
I used to see you
but now you’re just a blur
an image of what I thought you were.
When you lie to them
it’s like lying to me
pretending to be happy
living in misery
Look around you
open your eyes
this little world you’re living in
is just a big old lie
You can’t live on this way
pretending to be what you’re not
pretending to all those that care
as if everything was okay
pretending that life is easy
is your biggest mistake
Wake up and see
see what you have become
See that everyone around you
is linked as one
When everything seems dark and hasty
open your eyes to see
that the real person inside, is staring back at me.
Let's Talk About Sex – image by: google.com/images
Today we have discovered that sex is not just a commitment or a unity you have between you and your partner but something most of us do just for the pleasure of it, or for fun, or even just to fit in. Sex has become a big part in today’s society, and we need to sit down with our children, talk about sex, talk about our bodies, and talk about the consequences that come with having sexual intercourse at such a young age. The subject of sex tends to scare off not only the parents of the teenagers, but the teenagers themselves. It is very important to keep communication open with your teenagers so that when they are faced with the issues of teen sex they feel they can come and talk to you about it. It is better for our teenagers to be able to talk to us about it then to get pregnant or catch a disease. “In 2009, 46% of high school students had sexual intercourse and 13.8% had four or more sex partners during their life. Prior to the sexual activity, 21.6% drank alcohol or used drugs and only 38.9% used a condom”.
The Guttmacher Institute reports that the United States has the highest levels of teen pregnancy among developed nations. About 75% percent of teenagers have sexual intercourse before they turn 20, and only 15% report that they are still virgins until the age of 21. The Institute reports that teenagers before the age of 15 are having sexual intercourse and are reported to have more than one partner in a year. As a young child we tend to learn to express our affections and sensual feelings through activities such as kissing and hugging. These actions can have a strong influence on “the manner in which he or she expresses sexuality in later years”. (Crooks, 2010).
Growing up my parents never really spoke about sexuality or anything of the sort. It was understood that this was an awkward subject to touch on. When I was young, I had to help take care of my sister, I was 11 when she was born, and this in time became my birth control. I saw, and I experienced how hard it was to have to take care of a child, and I only had to help take care of her, I did not need to wake up in the early mornings with her or late at night, and yet this was a constant reminder to always be protected when the time would come. My older brother did have the talk about sex and not only with my dad but with my mom as well. She spoke to him about the consequences of getting a young girl pregnant and the transmitted diseases you can get with having unprotected sex. My brother was given condoms and had the “sex” conversation. I on the other hand had to learn about my body changing and sexual intercourse through books, and through friends, and through school.
The media shows us that sex is natural, that being sexual and being sexy are things of the world. We look at this and we find that young teens want to look like models; young boys want to be strong and fit. We do not look behind the camera and we do not show our children that behind the scenes most of these people are just like you and me, that being you is okay and discovering your body when you are ready is a life time of experiences. I took a sexual education class in my sophomore year in high school, I live in Texas and it was a requirement, we learned a lot about our bodies, how to treat ourselves with how society portrays us. We learned how to eat healthy and not become anorexic or eat too much and become obese because of depression. Understanding our bodies was important, and then we learned about sexual intercourse, the consequences of teen pregnancy and the actions you might have to face if discovering you had unprotected sex and now carry a disease that may or may not kill you.
“Masturbation is one of the most common and natural forms of sexual expression during the childhood years”. (Crooks, 2010). This is true and yet as a young child learning about your body, this is why it is so important that as parents you speak to your children. As a young teenager, growing into puberty and learning about their bodies, they sometimes do not understand what is going on with their bodies, the sensations they feel, the excitement and when they discover masturbation, they may not know if it is okay to do it or not. HIV/Aids era has showed us that using protection when having sexual relations with a partner is very important. Although we learn that not only sexual intercourse is the reason behind these diseases “behaviors that put young people at risk for HIV infection include engaging in intercourse without condoms; using alcohol, cocaine, and other drugs that impair judgment, reduce impulse control, and thus increase the likelihood of hazardous sexual activity”. (Crooks, 2010). Teenagers aged 13-24 make up around 17% of those who received diagnosis of HIV/AIDS in 2008. Many teenagers do not understand the consequences that derive in acting as an adult, and that is why it is important that we talk to our teens at a young age.
Sexuality and sexual issues never derived in my family. Double standard as Crooks also talks about is true. As a girl, sexual talk or conduct of any sort was unacceptable, and we did not talk about it. For my brother, they were proud he used his condoms and they not only discussed sexual activities with him but they also gave him condoms to protect himself. I was told that I better not come home pregnant; this defense mechanism parents use because they are scared to talk about sexual acts with their children is what scare children off. I know a lot of girls who got abortions because they felt they could not come home and tell their parents they were pregnant, they did not have time to think, they did not have the choice to make of whether or not they wanted to keep the child and they did not use protection because it was never frowned upon to ever talk about in the household. Lucky for me, I had my baby sister to keep me sane, or should I say scared out of mind that I didn’t want the chance to get pregnant, because I knew from an early age that using protection was the key to healthy and sexual relationship in the future.
References
Crooks, R. (2010). Our Sexuality: Cengage Learning
Guttmacher Institute (1996-2011). From http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/FB-ATSRH.html
SADD Statistics, (2011). from http://www.sadd.org/stats.htm
I think this song is beautiful and Jason Mraz is a great singer and performer. Hope you like it….
I won’t give up
When I look into your eyes
It’s like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There’s so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you’ve come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?
I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up
And when you’re needing your space
To do some navigating
I’ll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find
‘Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We’ve got a lot to learn
God knows we’re worth it
No, I won’t give up
I don’t wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I’m here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you’re still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn’t break, we didn’t burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I’ve got, and what I’m not
And who I am
I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up
Still looking up.
I won’t give up on us (no I’m not giving up)
God knows I’m tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We’ve got a lot to learn (we’re alive, we are loved)
God knows we’re worth it (and we’re worth it)
I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up
I miss you
i miss the way you looked at me
the way you touched my hair
i miss all the smiles
even though i acted like i didn’t care
i miss your hugs and our talks at night
i miss your smell
and everything that felt right
i miss how you kissed me
and i miss your touch
i miss everything about you
i miss how we fucked
i miss your breath
even when it smelled bad
i miss our awkward moments
in the shadows of the night
i miss your giggle
when everything felt right
i miss that you’re gone
that you’ll never be back
i miss that i can’t control life
and all the sucky things that come with that
i miss the truths and dares
and i miss playing ball
i miss you everyday
i get a call
i miss your smell and the way you made me feel
but most of all i miss your touch and wishing you were real.
there is no other way to feel
why do i miss something that wasn’t real?
I found a picture on line that had a great verse about hello and goodbye, I thought I would put together a poem. Tell me what you think.
Hello and Goodbye
Hello to the new me
Goodbye to what you made me be
Hello to my new life
Without you by my side
Hello to freedom
Goodbye to the tie down
Hello starting over
Where have you been?
Goodbye person I once knew within.
Hello and Goodbye
To what I once knew
Hello new beginnings
Goodbye now I’m through
Hello’s give you hope
Goodbyes kill your dreams
It’s never easy finding the in between.
Once I say goodbye
Forget who I am
Forget that I knew you
Forget that I ever believed in you
My hello was lived short
But my goodbye will live forever
Hello new life
Goodbye the tears that came at night
Hello hope
Goodbye old life.
Nothings forever
I’ve learned that from the past
When I met him, I thought our love would last
Then he broke my heart in two, left me wondering what i did wrong,
made me move on.
Nothings forever
I’ve learned that from the past
When I met him, I thought our love would last
He lied, he cheated, he broke me to pieces
I had to move on, I had to get out
I couldn’t believe I fell for his lies
and in the end it was only his demise.
Nothings forever
I’ve learned that from the past
in the end of any heartache
you learn to move on
you learn nothings forever
you learn that in the end everything will be okay
and when you learn to walk away
there is nothing left to say.
Happy Cinco de Mayo 2012 – Photo by: Google.com/images
Cinco de Mayo is coming up, it’s a traditional holiday celebrated by Mexico. This holiday is primarily celebrated in Puebla, where this holiday is called ‘El Dia de la Batalla de Puebla’ Translation: The Day of the Battle of Puebla. It celebrates there freedom from the first years of the American Civil War and the victory over French Forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862.
This year I decided to share 3 Drink recipes I found that are my favorites:
1. Margarita – 7 parts tequila, 4 parts triple sec and 3 parts lime juice, served on the rocks; a salted rim is optional. No strawberries, no mangoes, no blenders, and most importantly, no Cuervo Gold. Use a real tequila, one that’s marked 100% de agave, but don’t splurge; you don’t need $50-a-fifth sipping tequila for this drink. You can find the recipe Here
2. Paloma – A shot of tequila and three shots of Squirt, Jarritos Toronja or another grapefruit soda, served on the rocks. Try a good tequila here too, I promise you won’t regret it.
3. El Diablo – 1 1/2 ounce(s) Tequila (Again try a good tequila)
1 ounce of cranberry juice, Fresh squeezed lime juice, 1/2 ounce of simple syrup and a splash of ginger ale. Add a wedged lime if you like.
Hope you have a great Cinco de Mayo!
Enjoy and be responsible. 😉
Cinco de Mayo Margarita on the Rocks – Photo by: Google.com/images
Broken in Two – Photo by: google.com/images
I had someone write to me once about their relationship, how it ended and how it began, and she wanted me to write a poem that described her relationship. SO…. Here it is, let me know what you think….
Broken in Two
I loved you with words unsaid
I loved you until you cheated in my bed
I loved you for all the wrong reasons
I loved you for all the right feelings
I loved you for what you didn’t say
for all the lies you made
You looked at me with truth
I didn’t see the real you
You were a liar and a fake
you cheated on me and that was your biggest mistake
I tried to forgive you
I tried to ignore the truth
I was blinded by an image that wasn’t me and you
you took my heart
you played it like a string on a guitar
you said you loved me
but the truth was you only loved yourself
you lied to yourself
made everything bigger than it was
pretended to be happy
lost without a doubt
one day the light turned on
and you knew you couldn’t pretend anymore
you fought it but you had to say it out loud
our relationship was a blur
as if it was never true
i wish it weren’t because it would have been easier to forget you.
When i moved on
you wanted me back
it was too late
you have to face the facts,
you fucked up
and there’s no turning back.
now i see you and you pretend to be happy
but i know you
you never changed
you can put on an act
pretend to be happy
pretend nothing in the world will break you
but we both know the truth
you’re broken in two
the person i once knew
and the new you
you can put on a smile
you can move forward in life
but deep down inside you’ll never be you
you will always be the broken man i once knew.
