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  • Why Doesn’t my boyfriend want to have sex with me anymore?

    The Question:

    We’ve been dating for over a year now but in the last few months our sex has drastically decreased, at first it started to go down from at least 1-2 times a day for at least 5 months and then it went down to 1-2 times a week and then to 1-2 times a month and now it’s been a month and a half since we’ve had sex. I’ve read a few articles about this already, but none seem to fit my problem exactly. I was worried for a while that it might be me that was the problem but he told me it wasn’t and I know he wouldn’t lie to me. I’ve asked him about it but he says there’s nothing wrong. I just don’t know what to do anymore. He’s only a year older than me and he’s suppose to be in his prime. Is there anything I can do? I Haven’t pressured him or anything because I don’t want him to do it just to shut me up. I want him to want to, and I’m just not satisfied anymore and I’m not asking for everyday, at this point once or twice a week would be nice. As far as I know there’s nothing he’s stressed about at work or school, could it be a combination of the 2? or something else going on that I don’t know about? And please keep in mind that I am searching for help and advice and I don’t want to hear find a new boyfriend. I love him and I’m not leaving him, even if it means were not going to have sex anymore, but it’s frustration for the time being as I find it a tad odd that I want it more than he does, and I don’t really want to talk to any of my friends about it because I live in a small town and this is personal and I don’t need everyone talking about it, and the last thing I want him to feel is embarrassed. I haven’t told anyone of my friends but I’m in need of some advice. Any Ideas?

    My response:

    Dear no sex;

    Unfortunately we cannot read the minds of a man, and the only way to get answers is asking him. I know you asked him and he said everything was fine, but it obviously isn’t fine. Don’t feel ashamed to push a little, I know you said you don’t want him to have sex with you just to shut you up, tell him that, tell him you want him to want to have sex with you. You have needs too, and just like women, even if he isn’t in the mood, he needs to give it up sometimes. Sex is a very big thing in relationships, so I know you love him and you aren’t going to leave him, that you rather live without sex, well I’m sorry but this will eventually put a damp on your relationship. You need sex in a relationship it’s one of the many ways you show the attraction towards each other, the love that you two still share, without it, it can definitely cause problems. Open up to him, try coming on to him, put on a lingerie and call him into the bedroom. (Have you tried any of these things?) I know for a women, him not wanting to have sex is like a rejection because we don’t expect men to not want to have sex, but this is normal in some men, the stress from work or school like you stated could be a reason why he’s so pre-occupied with working late in the office and falling asleep in the office. This isn’t healthy for your relationship though, and you need to talk to him about this. I don’t want to say he’s having an affair, but sometimes this is the case in a man not wanting to have sex anymore with his girlfriend or wife. This could be far from the case, I am not sure how your relationship works and if he’s away from home a lot or not, I just have to put that out there as a result to him not wanting to have sex with you. As I stated though, there can be many more reasons other then an affair. If you want your relationship to work you need to communicate, that is the biggest step in trying to figure out what is wrong and getting back a little sex in your life.

    So lets review:

    1. Talk to him (Don’t be afraid that he’ll just have sex to shut you up). He needs to know how you feel.
    2. Dress up, come on to him, don’t sit around waiting for him to come to you.
    3. If all else fails… Communicate! (SEX is very important in a relationship). Don’t hold back, you deserve someone who will fulfill your needs.

    Good luck…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    This was an old post I found on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Jump into the Jacuzzi with Ex or Current BF?

    I was scanning the web when I bumped into this article “Ask Kitty” the Title “Kitty Jumps into the Jacuzzi”.

    The women wrote as follows:

    “My company has a Jacuzzi on the 15th floor of our office building and I’m dying to try it out. There is a special guy in my life, but I’m thinking water sports should involve someone I can get wild and crazy with, i.e., my biker ex-boyfriend. Prior to our breakup, I promised him a romp in the tub, but we never got around to it. Would it be super-scandalous if I took him up there instead of my bf? And do we need to use a rubber? My bff told me the hot water will kill the sperm. A baby would be a clear indication I’ve cheated.” (you can find the link below, if you want to see Kitty’s response). ~Juana Getwhet

    My Response:

    Dear Juana,

    First I would like to acknowledge the fact that you stated you had a best friend who told you hot water will kill sperm. First tell your friend to take some classes on “how to get pregnant”. YES, You can get pregnant in water, jacuzzi, pool with chlorine, any type of water anywhere that you aren’t using protection you can get pregnant. (Water will also not stop any transmitted diseases). I advise you get on a birth control pill because using a condom in the water can easily break. (Remember birth control pills also won’t help with transmitted diseases). BTW…(Sorry if I’m too blunt, but I don’t want you to make a mistake that you’ll later regret). As you indicated “A baby would be a clear indication that you cheated”. Along with many other responsibilities you’ll have to deal with later. Now back to the rump in the jacuzzi with someone who is “wild & crazy”. Have you even tried talking to your current man about getting wild & crazy in the jacuzzi on the 15th floor? How do you know he won’t be up for it? I guarantee any man wouldn’t pass an invitation like that up. If by chance he does turn you down, maybe you should re-think him being your man. My only other concern is the fact that just because your ex and you had discussed doing something like this, why would you even give him that chance to do that with you now that he is your EX? Perhaps you aren’t quiet over you ex? Issues we wold have to discuss another time.

    In Conclusion:

    Talk to your new man and have that wild & crazy night in the jacuzzi with him, not your Ex. And remember to always use protection.

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

    If you want to read what Kitty’s response was you can link Here.

  • A poor man’s sign for help

    Yesterday I was driving home, and if you live in Miami and have ever been to 57th and US-1 You know there is usually a poor man standing there with a sign asking for money. This man yesterday had a sign that read: ” Please help children in need, they need food too”. Now I was thinking…. Should I give this guy money even though he is obviously putting it out there that he’s lying and using children as an excuse, even worse….

    My thoughts:

    So I thought to myself would people be willing to give a guy money who’s sign read ” Please help children in need, they need food too” vs. “Please help, need money for food, drinks and drugs”. Or whatever he actually needs the money for? So I sat there thinking for a second or two and I think I rather give money to the guy who’s honest. Even if it is for some alcohol. At least I know he’s being honest. BUT What do you think? What would you do??

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • It’s been 12 years & NO SEX!

    The Question:

    What do you do when you’re really sick of being married?
    I’ve been married 12 years, but my husband and I have never had sex. He can’t. He doesn’t even try anymore (he never really did). We separated for 4 years because of it. People say he must be gay… We got back together a few months ago because I felt divorce is a sin…And sit or get off the pot, ya know. But nothing’s changed. I thought I could deal, but now I don’t know. What’s worse, he’s dirty and messy. He doesn’t shower or brush his teeth enough. I look at him and think Ick. I’m turned off but still don’t want an eternity of celibacy. Sigh…I really don’t want to hurt him. But I’m only 38 and I’d like a normal sex life.

    What can I do?

    My Response:

    Dear Celibate;

    I normally say try to work out, communicate with him what you need, but 12 years is a long time, why you stuck it out this long is beyond me, and why you married a man that wasn’t at all affectionate or intimate with you is also beyond me. You said you have never had sex with your husband? I am not sure what to say about this…. He either has issues with his member or he is in the closet, but why he would stay in a marriage where neither of you is happy is again “BEYOND ME”…. I know you think divorce is a sin, but you are still young, and no one should live in a marriage where they aren’t happy, where they are celibate from their own marriage, you are missing all the fun, all the intimacy moments to have with your spouse, to share and love and grow. You are still young, you need to move on, get out there and find a man that knows how to satisfy your needs. You need to LIVE, we only live once and life is too short to stick around someone you aren’t even happy with. Like I said I normally say try to work things out if you love him, and communicate, but this looks like a lost case (12 years) is a long time, it’s time to get off the pot like you said, and move on! Love yourself and find a man that will love you back.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My girlfriend is texting with another guy

    I don’t know if you are familiar with Yelp.com, but I was going through the threads when this question popped up:

    The Question:

    Its been almost a year and my girlfriend keeps texting back and forward with a coworker I was competing with when we were dating. This guy keeps telling her how beautiful she is and texting her when she is not at work. Initially I didn’t mind the competition but when she became mine, I let it go but this guy keeps coming back. Should I have a talk with her? I am not a jealous guy but I don’t want to be play a fool. Help!
    Thanks.

    My Thoughts:

    Dear Mr. Not Jealous

    Lets start off with my first question. Is your girlfriend texting this guy back?!?

    You don’t want to cause conflicts at work if you work with this guy, so I would advise you talk to your girlfriend. You say you guys have been together for a year now, and that should mean open and honest communication with each other. Tell her how you feel, and have her text him back asking him to please not text her anymore. If she loves you and she wants your relationship to work, I see no problem in her doing this.

    If she has a problem texting and telling this guy to stop texting her, then maybe there is something else behind these texts. If she’s texting him back, maybe he thinks it’s okay to tell your girlfriend she is beautiful. This is a disrespect to you and your relationship and he also needs to know that he’s stepping over his boundaries. Maybe go up to him nicely and ask him to please stop texting your girlfriend, that you don’t appreciate it. If this is too straight forward for you and you feel this may cause conflict (as I stated above) in the work place then speak to your girlfriend and have her tell him to stop.

    If she refuses then maybe you need to sit down and see what she wants out of your relationship, because if she’s going to continue flirting and texting with this guy then maybe you need to re-evaluate your relationship.

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

  • My friend had sex with her brother…

    The Question:

    Parents what would you do if your son, and daughter had sex? Just wondering?
    I know a friend of mine who had sex with her brother she told me, and I want to know if I were to tell, what parents would do in general in that kind of situation?

    My response:

    Dear Teen with a big secret;

    I am not a parent but I am an older sister to my 16 year old sister. It is a scary thought that your kids may be having sex and to find out that they are I couldn’t imagine. BUT…. Yes…But…..it is going to happen one day. I don’t agree with having sex at such a young age and I do think that you really need to think about it before doing it. Most boys just want to have sex and nothing more, and the minute the girl gives it up the boy is gone. I know this happened to a lot of my friends in high school. If you are a parent that just found out your son or daughter is having sex or had sex, the only thing you can do is try to NOT to overreact. Try to talk to them about all the consequences, like diseases and about teen pregnancy. If you have a boy buy him condemns and explain to him about all the things that can happen along with respecting girls. If you have a girl, I think it is a lot harder, you can either get her on birth-control (Most parents think this is just giving the OKAY to have sex) but it’s better than the alternative…(Pregnancy), and you need to talk to her and explain all the the bad stuff that can come with having sex at such a young age. In the situation that your friend had sex with her own brother, that is just plain WRONG! That is incest and it can be that the brother raped her or molested her. If she had sex with her own brother willingly, that is wrong on all levels and either way they need help. In that situation I am not sure what the parents would do, they need to talk to both of them and find out exactly what happened and why. They will then need to have a lot of counseling. This is not normal and I hope your friend knows this. I hope she can get the help she needs and I hope her parents are strong enough to deal with something like this. Good luck….

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Tomorrow’s not Promised

    There comes a time in life when you have to realize this is it… when everything around you changes and you feel like you have changed as well. This is called “growing up”.

    In a life full of questions, in a life full of fun, there isn’t a moment that passes that I wonder is this the one?

    Is this the one time that I’ll make this mistake
    Is this the one time I’ll cry
    Is this the one time I’ll laugh
    Or is this all a lesson of which I’ve passed?

    Time is an essence
    a tick of the clock
    when you look around you
    nothing has stopped.

    Every     day passes
    another day gone
    another day older
    another day closer.

    Live your life to the fullest
    and have no regrets
    because tomorrow’s not promised
    but today…
    today I live
    today I grow
    today i tell you i love you
    Tomorrow, I just don’t know…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    © written by: kristin nicole 2009

  • Married, Pregnant & now he’s cheating…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    My husband and I have been together for two years, married for one, and I have our first one on the way. At first, he was uber-excited when I showed him the ultrasound pictures, but after month four, all the happiness stopped. Now, he’s either sleeping right after he gets off work until he has to go back, or else he’s up all night texting/”playing video games” when I know he’s sneaking out of the house for God only knows what. I have reason to believe that he’s been seeing another woman, but I don’t have any money to leave him, as he comes from a rich family and all of mine has disowned me. If I left him, he would get custody because he’d be better-suited to care for the baby, but he’d never do it because he likes to sleep for (at least) sixteen hours at a time, and I doubt his little redheaded hussy would want to raise a kid that’s not hers. He doesn’t say he loves me anymore, he wants nothing to do with me if I start talking about the pregnancy… if I bring it up, he leaves the room, or starts talking about bills and how we’re financially screwed from now on. I don’t have any friends to rely on, because they’re all still in the partying stage (basically, when I stopped drinking every weekend, they stopped talking to me), and I haven’t heard from any of them in about two years. Depressed, exhausted and running out of options. Oh, and for the icing on the cake? Whenever my “loving hubby” has talked about having kids, they’d always had red hair in his dream. Please help.

    My Response:

    Dear Exhausted;

    You are in a hard situation. There a few things you can try to do. First you need try and talk with your husband to see what is going on. Tell him how you are feeling, because if you don’t communicate then he isn’t going to know how you feel and you are going to continue to feel depressed and alone through a time that should be happy for the both of you. Some men get scared when a family is on the way, but he needs to man up and be a husband a father to this child. I don’t condemn the cheating, and I understand that your situation isn’t as easy as pick and go. Although your situation is hard, personally I wouldn’t stay with a man who is cheating on me, especially when we are about to start a family, he is practically just spitting in your face (which to me is one of the most disgusting things a person can do to another). I would try to make mends with your family, family should be there for one another and unless you don’t try to mend things with them you won’t know if perhaps they will forgive you and help you out. As for your friends, those are not friends if they stopped talking to you just because you can’t go partying anymore with them, friends will be around no matter what if they were your true friends. I am not sure if you have a job, but it doesn’t matter if your husband makes more money then you do and staying with him just because he makes more money isn’t going to make you happy. If you don’t have a job, find a job that will help support you and your child if need be. You can always go to a lawyer and get a free consultation, they will explain to you your rights and what can happen if you decide to leave your husband and file for custody of your child. I don’t know where you live but some states do not allow cheating on your spouse, and you will have a big case right there if in fact he is cheating on you. I live in Miami, and in Florida it’s a “no fault state” so cheating wouldn’t help in a case like yours. You are in a hard spot, try talking to your husband first and try mending things with your family whether you stay with your husband or not, because I am sure they would love to see your baby one day. I don’t know the full story so I’m not sure the extent of why you don’t talk to your family but this is a time that you need them the most. Remember to love yourself and no matter how hard a situation may be, there is always a choice to leave. You deserve better than what your husband is doing to you right now.

    If you need to talk don’t hesitate to email me.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • I want a threesome with another man & my husband

    The Question:

    Is there any possible way, that I can make my husband Steve let me have a three-some with another guy. So it will be Me, Steve, and another “go getter”. He is usually open about his sexuality since he is a homosexual. Excuse me if this gets a little graphic but I always wondered how it would feel for 2 things to be in 1 hole. This sounds very dirty and I’m sorry if I offend anyone its just been a long time fantasy for me. Any tips or advice for how I could work it into the conversation? Any tips to make it happen?
    — Waldo

    My Response:

    Dear Waldo;

    Well first off your husband is a homosexual and you married him anyway and he married you? I’m sorry are you a man or a woman? Sorry if I sound a bit rude, but I am just baffled by this question. Okay back to the question on hand….How to go about bringing up the conversation, if you have always been sexually honest with your husband than just bring up your fantasies and ask him what he would think about a threesome with another man. Then go from there, if he says he is not comfortable with it you should respect his wishes and maybe try buying a toy that will semi-satisfy the whole 2 things in one hole. If he says yes, then you have to take into consideration that your husband may like the other guy more than he likes you, and are you ready to accept that. (Of course this could be far from what happens) but you have to make rules as to what you both want before doing something like this. In personal experience, I have never nor ever wanted to have a threesome with another man. My man is my man only and I do not share under any circumstances but that’s just me.
    Go for it if it’s what you really want and just come out and say what you feel. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I have an outrageous fetish…

    The Question:

    I have a fetish that I am wondering if anybody else has heard of. I absolutely love a woman when she is dressed up in a dress or costume that has giant puffy sleeves. I’ve had this my whole life and don’t know where it came from. I fantasize that a woman or even better two women dressed up kidnap me and forcibly dress me up in the same kind of outfit. I’m bound and gagged while they forcibly rape me. Is there any women out there that would do this for there husbands. I don’t even need the fantasy part all the time I would just like it for my wife to dress up once in a while, prance around just to turn me on. I’ve been married for 20 years and she isn’t in to it at all. Am I really that weird? And I’m not gay I love women! Does anyone know of movies or websites that may have pics of such costumes?

    The Response:

    Dear Fetish;

    A lot of people have fetishes, have you ever talked to your wife about the way you feel? You have been married for 20 years, and your sex life should be open by now. Maybe your wife feels weird dressing up for you, try having a few drinks to loosen up and then trying a few different things, warm her up to dressing up for you. As for going to websites to indulge in your fetish, I don’t think that’s a good idea, your wife might not understand or feel happy about that. Talk to your wife and see how far she is willing to go and start there. Unfortunately these are things you should have told your wife a long time ago, and if you did and you knew she would never live your fantasy out, then you knew up front she wasn’t into it and you had choices you could have made, now at this point in your life you have been married 20 years, so start off with spicing it up a little in the bedroom and trying to see if she’s willing to dress up a few times. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com