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  • Need help with being insecure?

    The Question:

    I was with my ex for 4 years and he finished it with me for no reason and he moved on very quickly which made me move on quickly too. I am now with a bloke which I have been with for about a year and a half. Lately I feel so insecure around him. He lives with a house mate and he has a girlfriend. I keep thinking my boyfriend likes her. My boyfriend is 27 she is 18, but he always seems to be interested in her. He never used to be like that with her, and he always seems to be looking at her. I don’t know if there’s anything in it but its making me moody with him. He doesn’t know I’m insecure and I don’t really want to say anything to him. HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP now every little thing he says to her I seem to be analyzing! He did say the other day she has an attitude, and he would never speak to her if she wasn’t with his mate, but the other night she went to bed and he said “ah your going bed are you” she was like yeah I’m tired and I got college tomorrow. He was like “oh ok” & I was thinking SO WHAT IF SHE GOES TO BED grrrrrrrrrrr …. Do u think I’m looking into it too much??

    My Response:

    Dear Too Much;

    Let me get this straight, the 18 year old girl is your boyfriends roommate? Yes you are definitely looking too much into it. First it’s your boyfriends, friends girlfriend, it is not like they are alone most of the time together and second asking her if she is going to bed, is just plain old conversation. I know it’s hard sometimes to not feel insecure after a breakup, especially since you were with your ex for such a long time, but remember this boyfriend is not your ex so try to remember that whenever you feel a little jealous. You have to trust your boyfriend, without trust the relationship won’t grow. If you start seeing something you really don’t like, (like them flirting or playing around) then confront your boyfriend and tell him you feel uncomfortable when he does that with her, but if they just have regular conversations together, yo have to remember this is your boyfriends roommates girl and they are going to have to talk to each other since I am sure he see’s her often there. Try to relax and know that he’s with your because he loves you. I am sure you are a beautiful girl and your ex doesn’t know what he lost, you have moved on so don’t bring that baggage with you into this relationship, remember this is a different relationship and if you do feel a little insecure talk to your boyfriend, but don’t over analyze everything he does, he’s probably just being friendly to her because it’s his friends girlfriend.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My spouse no longer wants Sex…

    The Question:

    What would you do if after having children, your spouse no longer wanted a physical relationship?

    My Response:

    Dear Not Getting Any;

    Communicate, Communicate & Communicate. Talk to your spouse ask them what is going on and why they have been distant. A physical relationship is very important in marriage or even if you are just dating. I am not sure if this question is coming from a man or women, so I’ll answer two different possibilities. If the husband is writing this, I can say that perhaps your wife is suffering from some sort of depression, sometimes after having children women can fall into postpartum depression (this can result in lack of sexual feelings), talk to your wife and a doctor to see what you can do. If this isn’t the case it can be that there is something else going on and unless you don’t talk to her you aren’t going to get the answer. If this is the wife then I can say that perhaps your husband is feeling overwhelmed, either with the children (not sure how old they are) or perhaps at work and it is taking his mind off the physical aspect of the relationship, not to say this is a good enough reason, but everyone reacts to things in life differently. Sit down with your significant other and find out what is bothering them. Without a physical relationship in a relationship, it can cause a lot of tension and that is not good for any relationship.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • America’s Best Coastal Hotels

    I found America’s BEST Coastal Hotels on Travel.Yahoo.com, but what’s the catch.

    Yes they are beautiful, Yes the views are amazing and YES they probably are the best coastal hotels you can find in America, BUT if you are a regular person like me, working hard for that money, more than likely we won’t get a chance to stay in a place like this any time soon. I didn’t look at all of them, but I looked at 2 of them and the rates, well let’s just say they start around $500+ to about $5,000 + A NIGHT! That’s right, a night…. Lovely if we can afford it, right?

    I’m all for looking at what are the best things in life, but don’t you think that Yahoo, or any of these other magazines, websites, should maybe just sometimes list things us normal folks can afford? How about America’s Best Coastal Hotels on a Budget. 😉

    I’m just saying… it would be nice to actually see something like that, click to see how much the rates are and book a trip. Perhaps one day when I own my column I can afford something like that, until then, Holiday Inn anyone?

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Walking the streets of San Francisco

    I wanted to start off by wishing everyone a Happy New Year again, and I hope you had a wonderful Holiday season, now it’s time to start anew and start the new year with many blessings to come. On another note, those who follow my blog, I told you that I would update you on my trip, and I’ve been so busy that I haven’t really had time. Where do I even begin…. Walking the street in San Francisco is one of the most breathtaking views you can have while just walking…

    December 17th, 2010

    We landed in one of the most beautiful Cities in the world – San Francisco. I hadn’t seen my friend for about 2+ years and I was excited to see her and her boyfriend who I hadn’t met yet. She picked us up at the airport and we headed to get her boyfriend and while starving because the planes just don’t feed you anymore unless you pay about $6+ for a measly sandwich, I was craving no other than IN-N-OUT! Wow, if you haven’t been here (because in Miami we don’t have these), it’s a Fast Food place but made with Restaurant quality, they make it right then and there fresh off the grill and you can see them make it too. We got the ANIMAL Style, meaning? = Everything on it with their special sauce and oh so good Double Cheese burger, and because I’m a fat ass, we opted to get the Animal Style french fries too. Okay so on to the city…. we took our bags to our hotel, we were on the 28th floor with the bay view – Breath taking, of course that day it was rainy and foggy so I couldn’t see past the first two buildings, yet I still couldn’t believe I was back in Cali, the one place that truly sometimes feels like it should be home. We finally set out to an old bar, and when I say old, I mean down right old school, with red carpets. That’s right… CARPET! I had never seen that before but they kept it real, with a nice happy hour to go with it. We had two drinks and we were hungry again. Okay sounds like we just ate, but I promise you we ate lunch around 1pm and it was now around 6, so Indian Food anyone???? I had never had it either, but let me tell you, if you haven’t you are missing out. The spices they use are so flavorful and oh so good, and once again RED CARPET! What is up with that? Granted we were only two doors down from the other bar, and this place also had a bar on the other side of the dining area, but still very strange. We called it an early night since we were jet lagged, went back to the hotel and then decided to walk around in the cold night rain, we found the mall. Of course I would find the mall, you didn’t think I would stay in Union Square and not find one of the biggest malls I’ve ever seen (Westfield) we walked around until I couldn’t keep my eyes open.

    December 18th, 2010

    Rise and Shine it’s only 6:30am – Granted in Miami it was already 9:30am so we’ll blame it on the time change. We got up and got ready for our continental breakfast with a view.

    We went walking the streets, took tons of pictures and then my friend picked us up and we went touring around town, we saw the golden gate bridge, we went up to the mountains and saw the pacific ocean, we went to Sausalito and had the best Fish and Chips I’ve ever had, and we just drove and got down and took more pics for hours. We later went back to the hotel to rest so that we can go out for my favorite SUSHI and then we headed to a lounge for some drinks and dancing (Pre-Bday Celebration), we had a great time.

    December 19th, 2010

    Napa Valley here I COME! My friend picked us up with another friend I hadn’t seen for over 5 years, I was so happy she could join us and I couldn’t have asked for a better time. We drove through Muir Woods and it was absolutely breath taking, once we got to Napa all I can say was Wow!; gorgeous views, not much of the vineyards since it was winter but yet the beauty is still there. Great bubbly wine and great wine all together.

    What a great night!!!

    December 20th, 2010

    Happy Birthday to me, more touring and of course I had to have me some MEXICAN food. Great food and great company. We were so exhausted from the day we didn’t get to do much but we did go to Ghirardelli and have me some Ice Cream!

    December 21st, 2010

    More touring….

    And for my birthday gift, we went to go see A Christmas Carol which was absolutely wonderful and then of course some Sushi 🙂 yum yum and YUM!

    December 22nd, 2010

    More touring, but this time we decided to head to Muir Woods and actually get down. Wow the nature in this area is one of the most gorgeous things I’ve ever seen. Here is just a small glimpse….

    We also went to the Walt Disney museum, which if you love everything Disney you should definitely check this place out.

    December 23rd, 2010

    Our last day in the City of Love…. we saw a few more things and then headed to this Irish Pub and drank our sorrows away…… Okay so maybe not our sorrows but the sweet goodbye of what I have come to love.

    Cheers with good friends!

    I will always love you SF!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • What to do to fix my relationship?

    The Question:

    What to do to fix my relationship?
    About 4 days ago I said somethings I didn’t mean to say to the girl I love and I really hurt her and now she is saying she needs time to figure things out. I feel horrible about what Ive done and Ive done all I can to try and show her I care, before all this happen we were trying to have a child and making plans on moving in and marriage one day; now she acts like I never mattered and it kills me. Anyone have any ideas on what I should do or say to try to make things better?? I just don’t get how it went from so good to so bad with us…

    My Response:

    Dear boyfriend;

    It can be many things, I only know this one piece of the story, but look back into your relationship (as the whole) and was it really good (not perfect, because no relationship is perfect) but was it good? If it was and you really didn’t have any problems before this then maybe she’s just being a little over emotional, give her time, keep showing her how sorry you are and tell her you love her. If you guys have had a few problems (big) in the past perhaps this was the last straw and she’s using it as a way to get out. Sometimes we try to pick fights or we get mad over small things because we really aren’t happy in our relationships. I say sit down and talk to her, find out what is really going on and apologize for what you said. If she still is blocking you out, give her time and then try talking to her again.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I can’t help but wait for his call…

    The Question:

    Dear kristin nicole;

    Hi, me and my ex-boyfriend have known each other for over a year and have been in and out of our relationship. The problem is I can’t stop talking to him, all I do is wait for him to call me or IM me, or even text. When I first met him he was a huge womanizer…he used to make sexual jokes with other girls and etc.
    After a few months he lost all contact with other people though and just talked to me even though I encouraged him to get back his friends. After a few more months his parents found out about our relationship and completely started to rule my boyfriend. They insulted me and our relationship, and lied and manipulated both of us severely. It’s been going on ever sense, even though it’s not as bad as before.
    He used to lie about little things all the time, even things that didn’t even matter. He let his mother control his life and all his decisions, and even though his mother was emotionally abusing me and him he would not stand up to her. (Were both underage by the way) He also let tons of girls flirt with him, and when I told him that he needed to tell them to stop, he changed the subject and acted like I never said anything. Also when his friends made fun of me, or made jokes about me and I asked him to stand up for me he would just ignore it.

    He emailed my mom and told her about all the bad things I had been doing, even though I had told him to keep it a secret. I used to be a cutter and very suicidal, but I was getting help for it.
    Even though my mother found out she did not push help on me, and I got over it on my own.
    When I confronted him about it the first time he lied and said he did nothing like that, after pressing him for 15 minutes he finally admitted it, and he promised he would never do it again. After that he manipulated me into feeling sorry for him about his life and etc (like he does in every argument)
    A few months later I found out he was doing it again, I confronted him about it again, and he lied, and then manipulated me into feeling bad for him again. He kept on lying about little things and kept denying them, which got me pissed off. Recently I found out he posted his old sexual relations publicly on facebook, which disgusted me. I confronted him about it and he said it meant nothing.

    We broke about 4 – 5 months ago from an argument. (He told me I was over-reacting about being depressed over all of this, and I was stupid to think this way and relationships have been through much worse and I didn’t deserve to be talking this way). He used to have this gang of friends that were very rude, used girls and were very controlling. A year ago or so he said he stopped all communication.
    He lied and kept going back once in awhile, I told him to stop. He lied and kept going back.
    AGAIN I told him to stop and he kept going back. This went on for another like 3 times.

    Before I met him even though I was going through a-lot of stuff I was very happy, but after all of this It feels like I have clinical depression.

    I don’t think I love him anymore, I don’t trust him nor care about him or anything.
    but yet I can’t stop talking to him. I really want to stop but every time I do I can’t help myself but go back online to talk to him, or call him or text. I know i’m stupid to do that though.
    Please help me to stop.

    ~Waiting for a call~

    My Response:

    Dear Waiting for a call;

    It sounds like you already know where you want to be in this relationship and I cannot tell you how to stop talking to your ex or how to make you feel less sad about the situation, with that said however, you sound much stronger than what you give yourself credit for. You have surpassed being depressed and cutting yourself without the help of your family (which is what you stated), and the fact that you can be strong enough to know that was not good for you and to stop is very strong of you. You realized that your boyfriend was manipulating you into feeling bad for him and the fact that you have realized this is a big step. You already know you don’t love him any more and that you don’t want to be with him, the hardest part is actually letting go. Sometimes even though we know we don’t love someone anymore, and we know that they aren’t any good for us, as humans we tend to hold on to stuff, and even though you know that this isn’t the person you want to be with you keep talking to him. Ask yourself why you think that is? You have to be strong and lose all connection with him, you need to move on and it isn’t going to be easy because it sounds like you were in this relationship for a long time. You deserve someone better, someone who won’t lie to you, someone whose family will accept you and not try to cause more problems. You deserve to be happy and I think that you already know that leaving him and losing all connection with him is the beginning to that happiness.

    Don’t let him manipulate you anymore, be strong and know that you deserve someone better. Believe me there are better guys out there, of what you have described, this guy is a loser, and you can do so much better!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Happy New Year 2011

    Another year flown by, another year older, another year to set goals and another year where dreams can come true…

    Each year we get older we realize the change, we see life pass us by, and we make goals some achieved some left written on the paper you started to write about your dreams, and sometimes we just forget and we loose track on what is really important to us. In life I have learned that life is way to short, we don’t always get what we want, we sometimes think we are going to live our lives a certain way, or with a certain someone, and that isn’t what was meant to be. We don’t know what will happen tomorrow, and tomorrow may never come, so I’ve learned the hard way a few times that when you want something, when you really love someone, when you really know what you want, GO FOR IT! Life is too short for the what if’s, or maybe’s in life, or even the I can always do it later… What holds us back from the possibilities; from the things in life we really want? As humans we have too many doubts we hold ourselves back, we make excuses because of family and friends but at the end of the day we are the ones who control our own fate, we are the ones who control what to do with our lives, and if we keep holding back, you will life always wondering about the “what if’s, maybes in life and I can always do it later”.

    This year, I move forward, I hope that with fate and love from God that I am strong enough to surpass the goals I have in life, to live life to the fullest and do all the things I have been dreaming and thinking about lately. A new beginning, a new start into a new life.

    Live. Love. Laugh

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    Happy New Year 2011 ~ May all your wishes come true ~

  • Happy New Year

    Happy New Year to all my followers and readers! May your new year be blessed and may only good come to each and everyone of you.

    I will start posting new stories on Monday 🙂

    Enjoy your weekend.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Dear Santa

    Dear Santa

    Dear Santa, I’m older
    But, still believe in you
    (At least, I believe in
    The things you try, to do).

    Maybe, I can’t ask for
    A Tonka, or, a train.
    (But, if you’d bring one of them
    You know, I won’t complain).

    But, what I really wish for
    Is a special present
    Love that can’t be “returned”
    Once it has been sent.

    Everybody needs a little
    And some, need a lot
    But, if you get a tiny bit
    You still know what you got.

    So Santa, drop a little
    Under each Christmas tree
    Then, all will get a present
    From what it’s ‘posed to be.

    And if there is no tree
    For the alone, and poor
    When you get, to their place
    Just, drop, a little more.

    Written by: Del “Abe” Jones (TheHolidaySpot.com)

    What do you want for Christmas this year?
    I hope everyone has a wonderful Holiday and a Happy New Year

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • 5 Worst Ways to Propose

    So I was reading this article on Yahoo.com, The 5 Worst Ways to Propose, do you agree?

    The List:

    1. Don’t propose in Public – they say most people tend to say yes because they feel bad with all the people looking, it’s pressure put on the other person and they might just say yes to please the people cheering around them, and later can turn around and say they really don’t want to marry you. (Wow that would be a bummer).

    2. Leave Food out of it – They say people have actually swallowed the ring (when placed in food or drinks) and well it’s not the best place to be on the day you get engaged if it’s the hospital waiting to “release” your ring (If you get my drift).

    3. Do NOT propose via – Internet (email anything that involves a computer) – I have to agree – it’s very impersonal, and when you propose it should be face to face with the person you love.

    4. Do not propose on the day you wed – Okay I only hear of this in Vegas and then it’s annulled the next day – so I have to agree, think about this before you do it, it’s a big commitment.

    5. Beware of Mother Nature – WHAT? That was my first reaction… According to Yahoo they say don’t propose hiking up a mountain or on the beach. Some have gotten lost in snow storms and lost the ring in the snow, others in the beach, and we don’t want to buy an expensive ring only to loose it in a few minutes of proposing. (do we?).

    I say be romantic, do something unique. People in New York although cute, stop proposing by the Christmas Tree it’s been done, oh about 1 million times (at least that’s what I hear from the locals in NY) 🙂 Here in Miami I am sure the Beach has been done and what did Yahoo say about the beach? (Oh yea we don’t want to loose that ring in the sand).

    Some women like the cliches of what is in the movies, if your lady likes it, then go for it, I don’t think there is really any wrong way to propose as long as you really know what your women wants. (Some women like the public scene, some like the ring in the food (although I think I would avoid this one), and some like to be spontaneous (although I highly recommend getting to know your future bride to be).

    Live, Love, Laugh ~ And do what you want when you are ready to propose, if she loves you it doesn’t matter how it’s done, I know some people who get proposed to in a car and have been married for years
    😉

    xo,
    kristin nicole