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  • Advice Column: Is he too clingy?

     

    Advice Column: Is he too clingy? Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: Is he too clingy? Image found on flickr.com

    The Question:

    Is he too clingy? 

    I’ve just started dating this guy, and he’s a really lovely person and wants the best for me at all times. I’m really lucky to have him. The only thing is, he seems really attached to me and we’ve only been dating for about a week. He calls me every morning and every night, tells me he loves me about 30 times a day, and if I don’t text him back in five minutes he’ll ring me over and over and over until I answer. I often just turn my phone off and I don’t look at it for an hour. He wants to spend every day with me, wherever I turn he’s always there. I love being with him, but it’s suffocating! Is he being too clingy, or am I just over-reacting? What can I do?

    (Edited)

    Response:

    Dear Suffocated;

    He obviously really likes you, but I do think that sometimes in a relationship there is something called ‘a little too much’.  All relationships need some form of space. It’s not healthy to be constantly calling you until you answer, that can become very annoying. Have you tried talking to him? Tell him how you feel and see if he backs off a little. I understand the first stages of a relationship are exciting and you usually want to spend as much time with that person as possible, but there is a limit to everything in life. Talk to him and tell him how you feel, if he doesn’t change, you may have to make a hard decision. Eventually what he’s doing will just annoy you more and more, and you will end up disliking him for it. Some women love that kind of attention but every person is different. It’s not a bad thing, but you have to be honest with yourself and with him. If you don’t stop him now it can only get worse.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: Threesome friend with benefits

    Advice Column: Threesome friend with benefits

    Advice Column: Threesome friend with benefits. Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: Threesome friend with benefits

    My friend with benefits and my girl friend and I had a threesome and now I’m so jealous I’m crying my eyes out. Please any advice?
    So me and Hank (Fake Name) are really good friends and we hook up when we’re bored. Today we went out and I brought my friend Stacey (Fake Name) along with us because I wanted her to meet him. Hank and I  started hooking up and I’m like oh look Stacey feels left out lets let her join! He said okay.  So we did and Hank and Stacey were having sex and I was so f’en [sic] jealous but I played it off and pretended I was tired. Stacey came up to me afterwards and apologized and I was like whatever its cool you know. So now I don’t know what to do. Hank and I are just friends with benefits but everyone knows we kind of like each other but I’m so jealous I cried! Even Hank asked me whats wrong because I was obviously annoyed and just quiet afterwards. Has anyone ever been in a situation like this? What now? Help….

    (Edited)

    ~Friend with Benefits

    My Response:

    Dear Friends with Benefits;

    It is my opinion that if you care about someone, never do a threesome, there is always someone in that equation that gets hurt. What is done is done, if your friend knows you like this guy just make sure you don’t have any more threesomes with her and your guy. If you really like this guy and you think he has feelings for you, then you need to talk to him. If you don’t talk to him then chances are he will just stay comfortable in this “friends with benefits” routine you guys have going on. Friends with benefits doesn’t work once someone starts having feelings for the other person. You need to tell him how you feel and go from there. If he doesn’t feel the same way then you have to stop sleeping with him. Sleeping with him is only going to make your feelings stronger for him and you are only going to get hurt. Remember communication is key in any relationship If he’s really your friend then he should be honest with you on how he feels.
    Good luck.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found my question on Answers.Yahoo.com (2011)

  • Advice Column: Is my Uncle cheating on my Auntie?

    Advice Column: Is my Uncle cheating on my Auntie?

    Advice Column: Is my Uncle cheating on my Auntie? – Image found on google.com/images

     Advice Column: Is my Uncle cheating on my Auntie?

    I was playing hide and seek with my cousin and hiding behind a sofa when my uncle came to sit down not knowing I was there. He took his phone out and started texting someone. I could only see a little bit of the text and I saw words such as GIRLFRIEND and GORGEOUS. When my cousin suddenly walked in the room he quickly hid his phone. Please help! What should I do?

    Additional Details:
    I’m 14 and was made to play hide and seek with my 4 year old cousin by parents….

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Hide & Seek;

    This is a hard position to be in, but you don’t necessarily know he is cheating on your aunt and you do not want to stir up problems if there really isn’t any. This is between your aunt and uncle and I would just leave it alone. If you feel that you can’t hold it in and it is really bothering you then talk to your parents about what you saw. Then let them take it from there. You are too young to be worrying about stuff like this. Good luck!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com (2011)

  • Advice Column: Wife wants to sleep with another woman

    Advice Column: Wife wants to sleep with another woman. Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: Wife wants to sleep with another woman

    Dear Kristin Nicole

    My wife told me that she has been having feelings for a co-worker of hers, at first I was conflicted because I thought she meant a guy but then she told me that it was another woman. I’m still conflicted with this because we have known each other for 10 years and she has never gave off that she likes other women. She told me that this other woman wants to sleep with her and she wouldn’t mind if I watched, but I don’t know what to think about this. Most men would love for their wives to sleep with another woman and be able to watch, but if she ends up wanting to sleep with other woman all the time, what do I do? She says I can’t join them, I can only watch. Do I let her sleep with this other woman or not?
    ~Husband

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Husband;

    I think you are right, I think most men would be thrilled to watch their wife or girlfriend be with another woman, but I understand your concern in regards to her wanting to do this more than once. Talk to your wife and ask her what has brought this on? Is this just a one time thing to get out of her system, out of curiosity? You need to think about this and you need to really be sure that you will be okay with your wife sleeping with another woman. Perhaps your wife is in the closet and isn’t sure which side of the bed she really wants to sleep on. This is a tough decision and you need to truly be okay with what your wife is asking. Communicate with your wife your concerns and make it clear that if you are okay with this, it can only happen once. Personally, I don’t think a man or woman should want to sleep with any other person and I think this is something she should have gotten out of her system before you got married but the fact that you have known her for so long and she has never done anything like this makes it seem like she is either bored or has always been curious of the same sex. Talk to your wife and make the decision together.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Advice Column: Husband wants to be a swinger

    Advice Column: Husband wants to be a swinger. Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: Husband wants to be a swinger

    Dear Kristin Nicole

    My husband asked me the other day if I was willing to go to a swingers club with him. I don’t know what to think of this. We have been married for only 2 years. Is he bored of me already that he wants to sleep with other people? I asked him why he would want to go to a swingers club and he said he just wanted to spice things up for us. I thought we had pretty good sex, so I am not sure what I can do. I don’t feel comfortable sleeping with other people or my husband sleeping with other people but I’m scared that if I don’t go he will cheat on me and leave me. Do I go so that I don’t lose him? Or do I tell him no, and hope he doesn’t leave me.
    ~Swinger

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Swinger;

    If you want my personal opinion then I would say NO…. I don’t think that in a marriage people should sleep with other people. If you are married, you should be committed and happy to be with just that one person. How long have you known your husband? Has he always been a little freaky or ever indicated that he wanted to be a swinger? If this is something new that he suddenly brought up then you need to really sit down with your husband and tell him how you feel. If he is willing to end your marriage just because you don’t believe swinging is the answer to better sex, then maybe you need to truly think about what kind of man you married. Do you want to be with a man that wants to sleep with other women and that is willing for his wife to sleep with other men? Tell your husband that you are willing to try other things in the bedroom and spice it up in other ways but if you don’t feel comfortable going to a swingers club then you need to speak up. Giving in and going just because your husband wants to might end up badly in the end. You may end up resenting him for making you go. Go with your gut feeling and talk to your husband. If he loves you I am sure he will be okay with whatever decision you make.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    (2011)

  • Advice Column: Affair with a married man

    Advice Column: Affair with a married man – Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: Affair with a married man

    I’m a 17 year old girl, who recently started talking to a 23 year old guy from across the country. He told me straight up that he has two baby boys, which didn’t bother me because we weren’t anything serious. Well we texted all the time and talked on the phone, but when he oddly kept refusing to add me on Facebook I demanded to know why. He admitted to being in a loveless, miserable marriage. They’ve been married for four years and he’s slept with a few other women. He suspects her of cheating on him while he was stationed in Korea and doesn’t think that his oldest son is really his. I’m a very understanding person and continued talking to him despite his personal life. But now it’s at the point where he says he has too big of a heart to leave his wife and kids, and I don’t know what to do. I like him but knowing he sits out in his car every night after work to call me while his wife is inside sleeping just doesn’t feel right. It’s too much! He’s an amazing guy and although I don’t think what he’s doing is right, I also feel like I shouldn’t play along. It just kills me because I know how unhappy and utterly miserable he is with her. What should I do?
    ~17

    My Response:

    Dear 17;

    I think you already know the answer to your question and you just need for someone else to confirm what you have already been thinking and feeling. You stated; “and though I don’t think what he’s doing is right, I also feel like I shouldn’t play along.” Do you need any other answer besides that one? The guy can’t be too good of a guy if he’s cheating on his wife constantly and lying to her. He doesn’t live close to you and all you have is a phone relationship. You are much too young to be worrying about a guy with so many problems. You need to be having fun and start dating guys more your age. Enjoy your life and stop worrying about a guy who is cheating on his wife and his family with other women and sneaking off at night to talk to you. Close the door to this relationship and move on.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com (2011)

  • Advice Column: I want a sex toy

    Advice Column: I want a sex toy. Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: I want a sex toy

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year and I want to spice it up in the bedroom by buying a sex toy but I am not sure if my boyfriend will really go for it. In the past when friends have been talking about it, he has commented that a woman doesn’t need a sex toy if the man is doing his job right. It’s not because he can’t satisfy me but I think it would be fun to spice things up a bit, plus it doesn’t hurt to have that fun hanging around when my boyfriend isn’t home. Should I buy one and surprise him or talk to him about it first?
    ~Sex Toy

    My Response:

    Dear Sex Toy;

    There is nothing wrong with spicing it up in the bedroom and I think that you have been with your boyfriend long enough for him to know how you are in the bedroom. Talk to your boyfriend and tell him that you want to spice things up in the bedroom and you think a toy would be a lot of fun. If he is hesitant and starts saying he should be enough for you, explain to him that he is enough for you and that the toy can just add some more fun to the bedroom. If that doesn’t work then you can either forget about it or take the chance and surprise him in the bedroom with one. If that doesn’t work, keep the toy around for when he’s not home. If he really loves you, there shouldn’t be a problem with him wanting to spice things up a bit. Have fun and get a drink in him before bringing it out, this way he’ll be a little more relaxed. Good luck!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    (2011)

  • Advice Column: Bad kisser but good in bed

    Advice Column: Bad kisser but good in bedDear Kristin Nicole;

    My boyfriend “Jason” and I, have been together for over a year and most of that we were long distance. As in every relationship, he was amazing at the beginning, and he still is as a boyfriend – he treats me well, he never lets me pay, he gives me compliments every single day and doesn’t complain about me at all, but there are certain things that make me wonder whether I want to be with him long-term. He doesn’t have a higher education which is fine with me, but he still doesn’t have a clue what he wants to do in the future. He has a part-time job and lives with his parents (he will be 24 soon). I gave him a few ideas what he could do and he liked those jobs, but he would have to undertake some training which he isn’t very keen on doing. I feel like he thinks he is still a teenager and has his money just for fun (yes, after 7 years out of high-school he hasn’t saved much). Also, although he treats me well, he isn’t the nicest person, he shouts at his parents, calls him mum ‘bitch’, tweets random people to ‘fuck off’, simply he is a bit aggressive. Lastly, we doesn’t share the same sense of humor and he is a bad kisser. Good in bed, but a bad kisser.

    I don’t want to leave him because I don’t want to hurt him and he gives me security, but I am young, I shouldn’t worry about finding another boyfriend.

    Thanks for your time and help 🙂
    ~”Katie”

    Names have been changed for privacy purposes. 

    My Response:

    Dear Katie;

    It sounds to me like you are just settling to be with this guy. He’s turning 24 soon and it sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do. You pretty much summed up reasons why not to be with him, can you think of any reasons why you should be with him? You have to think about your future, do you see yourself with a man like this? Not having an education isn’t the worst thing, and like you said it isn’t a big deal, but the fact that he doesn’t want to try and work is a totally different situation. He needs to figure out what he wants to do in life, what career, and what path he plans on taking, because if everything in life is a negative now, imagine how it will be later down the road.

    You stated; “lastly we don’t share the same sense of humor and he is a bad kisser. Good in bed, but a bad kisser.” There are so many other people out there who you will have things in common with. Being with someone and sharing things you both like is a big thing to have in a relationship. If you feel that you don’t share the same humor or personality, that can be a problem. As for being a bad kisser, you can always try to train him and tell him how you like it. You are young and you have so much time to find someone that you are more compatible with. Don’t waste time on a boy (and I say boy because he hasn’t grown up yet); when there is probably something better waiting for you out there. If you truly love him, truly madly, deeply can see yourself spending the rest of your life with him, then sit with him and tell him how you feel, try to get him motivated into changing his life around. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

     

  • Advice Column: I don’t want to take my husband

    Advice Column: I don’t want to take my husband. Image by: google.com/images

    The Question: Advice Column: I don’t want to take my husband to my co-workers birthday party.

    I was invited to a coworkers birthday party and I really don’t want to bring my husband. I know it sounds bad but no one is bringing their boyfriend and if I bring him I don’t want to neglect him by talking to co-workers and stuff. [sic]. Its mostly girls and I don’t want him to think I don’t want him to go because I do, but he is going to feel out of place. Is it wrong if I don’t want him to go?

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Don’t want to neglect;

    Is it mostly girls or is all girls? If it is mostly girls just tell him that it’s only girls and if its okay that you go alone. If it’s a mix of people then there isn’t anything wrong with bringing your husband, let him get to know your co-workers. I used to have happy hour with co-workers after work and it was a mix of us, not everyone brought someone but I always invited my boyfriend and gave him the option to go if he wanted to. If you really want to go alone then just be honest with him and tell him why. I am sure your husband won’t want to be hanging out a bunch of women if that’s the case.

    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com (2011)

  • Advice Column: Sleep with my professor?

    Advice Column: Sleep with my professor? Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: Sleep  with my professor?

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I am a junior in college and my professor is really young. he is 33 years old and I am 22 and every time I see him I get all tingly down stairs. After class we have met a few times to go over some school work. We flirt a little but nothing as ever happened. I don’ know if to make the first move or see if he finally make a move. This semester finishes in August and I didn’t know if to wait until the semester finishes or just to go for it now. The excitement of dating my professor and having sex with him on his desk gets me excited just thinking about it. Should I just make the first move or wait?
    ~Professor Crush

    My Response:

    Dear Professor Crush;

    Although it might be exciting to sleep with your professor, I am sure that there are rules about dating your professor. With that said there is nothing wrong with some harmless flirting and letting him know you like him. You want to make sure he really is flirting with you and not just being nice. Sometimes we can take niceness the wrong way. August is around the corner so you might as well wait and see what happens afterwards. You might just like him for the thrill of actually sleeping with your professor. If this is the case, then move on and start enjoying your last few years in college. Go out and find some guys your age and a guy who isn’t off limits. Good luck

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    (2011)