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  • Advice Column: Is he too clingy?

     

    Advice Column: Is he too clingy? Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: Is he too clingy? Image found on flickr.com

    The Question:

    Is he too clingy? 

    I’ve just started dating this guy, and he’s a really lovely person and wants the best for me at all times. I’m really lucky to have him. The only thing is, he seems really attached to me and we’ve only been dating for about a week. He calls me every morning and every night, tells me he loves me about 30 times a day, and if I don’t text him back in five minutes he’ll ring me over and over and over until I answer. I often just turn my phone off and I don’t look at it for an hour. He wants to spend every day with me, wherever I turn he’s always there. I love being with him, but it’s suffocating! Is he being too clingy, or am I just over-reacting? What can I do?

    (Edited)

    Response:

    Dear Suffocated;

    He obviously really likes you, but I do think that sometimes in a relationship there is something called ‘a little too much’.  All relationships need some form of space. It’s not healthy to be constantly calling you until you answer, that can become very annoying. Have you tried talking to him? Tell him how you feel and see if he backs off a little. I understand the first stages of a relationship are exciting and you usually want to spend as much time with that person as possible, but there is a limit to everything in life. Talk to him and tell him how you feel, if he doesn’t change, you may have to make a hard decision. Eventually what he’s doing will just annoy you more and more, and you will end up disliking him for it. Some women love that kind of attention but every person is different. It’s not a bad thing, but you have to be honest with yourself and with him. If you don’t stop him now it can only get worse.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: How do I make a guy like me?

    Advice Column: How do I make a guy like me?

    Advice Column: How do I make a guy like me? Image by: google.com/images

     

    Advice Column:

    I have a crush on this cute guy in my apartment and when ever I see him we just pass each other and he never tries to look at me in the eyes, he just looks down or he just avoids eye contact. I once saw his young brother but I did not ask him his name. Do you think he has a crush on me too? How do I make a guy like me?

    My Response:

    Dear Shyness;

    There isn’t anything specific to making a guy like you. Just be you and you’ll find the right guy to like you as you are. Now in your situation it’s different, it’s not even about making this guy like you, as much as it is just having him talk to you. It’s either two things; either he’s really shy and doesn’t know how to approach girls or he’s simply just not that into you. You can go about this in a few ways.

    Way #1: Approach him the next time you see him in the hall way. Just say hello and start small talk. Maybe even act dumb and ask him a question, like ‘do you know where the nearest target is’?

    Way #2: Bump into him and apologize, see if this will finally open his eyes to looking at you and start a conversation from there.

    Way #3: Talk to his little brother and ask him what’s up with his brother?

    Way #4: Be straight forward, tell him you think he’s cute & you were wondering if he would like to hang out sometime?

    My preferred way to go is Way #1, if he isn’t willing to talk to you and ask your name I would just say hi to him while passing in the hallway and introduce myself to him. It’s up to you, but if he still shows no interest after that, I say let it go and move on. There are plenty of other guys out there that won’t be so shy.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

    (Edited) 2010

  • Advice Column: Abusive Military Husband

    The Question: Abusive Military Husband 

    I am currently living with my husband overseas in Bumholder, Germany. I have been thinking about it for a while now and decided I need a divorce. My husband is emotionally abusive, he’s thrown used protection [sic]. (not sure if I can say the other word) at my face before, when he left for his last training he only gave me 40 dollars to last a month and a half and I have a child as well and no transportation. He tells me he hates me every day yet he refuses to let me move back home. I feel the only option I have left is to divorce him. I am also worried about him finding out.

    I don’t feel safe living with him and I’ll feel even less safe being here while we are going through a divorce; he has a tendency to sharpen his knifes after we have fought and threaten me, and that scares me to death. I need all the possible information on how to go about getting a divorce. Who should I try to contact. My husband leaves again for training next week and will be gone another month and a half. At this time I’ll most likely have no money again and it’s a short time frame to get this all done. I was just trying to deal with it and hope that something would change but it hasn’t. I don’t even like him being around our daughter who is 7 months old. The only time she’s around him is when I shower, and it makes me so nervous because he is always screaming at her because she won’t stop crying. But it’s just because he has nothing to do with her and she isn’t really familiar with him. I have no idea who I’m supposed to go to or call. Also, if I tell the Military that I feel unsafe living with him while going through a divorce can they help and place me somewhere else until it is finished? I just need all the help I can get, please!

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Abused wife;

    If you are from the United States go to the embassy, I am sure that there is something you can do about getting back to your family while you get a divorce. You can also go to his platoon, being abusive is against any military law. He can get arrested and discharged from the military. I am not sure how far you want to go, this may anger him more, but you need to stand up and fight for yourself and for your daughter it is not safe nor is it healthy to stay in this relationship any longer. What he’s doing is wrong, and you staying with him is not going to help your daughter have a normal and good life. Giving you $40 to last a month is ridiculous. Have you thought about getting a job, the military helps with day care and things like that if you need to get a job to save money. The best bet is to go to his commanding officer (boss) and tell him what is going on, explain that you want to go back to the United States but that he refuses to let you go. If you have family, call them, have them send you money and get your passports and get out of there. Figure out the divorce later, but you need to find yourself a lawyer as soon as possible so that you can file for divorce. No one should have to take abuse (emotional or physical) find a way out and do it as soon as you can. If you have any friends you can trust, maybe you can stay with them for a while, until you can figure out how to get back to the United States. (Again I am assuming you are from the U.S). If you are not from the U.S; then get back to where ever you are from, call a friend or family. If you don’t have friends or family then you will have no other choice but to go to his boss and tell him what is going on. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com (2010)

  • Advice Column: Lost sex drive

    Advice Column: Image found on google.com/images

    The Question: Lost Sex Drive

    We have been dating for a little over 6 months, he’s 19, I’m 17. We both have pretty low-stress life styles, at the moment he is doing a simple course with little study or work content, so I figure it isn’t stress. [sic]. The thing is, we still do sexual things, almost every night, but never actual sex, which bothers me because by “we do sexual things” I mean, I give him a bl0w job, and we go to sleep. The funniest part is that when we first started dating he told me he didn’t like blow jobs and had never ‘blown his load’ during. [sic]. My guess is my ‘skills’ are a drastic improvement upon his other girlfriends, because after a little bit of convincing, he let me give it a go and now it’s all he wants! Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he enjoys it and I have no problem doing it, but a girls gotta [sic] get some every now and again. (at least, I do…) Not to mention it’s making me feel very unattractive, despite all his reassurances. Any similar experiences or advice?

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear not getting any;

    He’s young, he shouldn’t have little sex drive at all, he should be wanting to have sex with you 247. If he’s only wanting you to go down south then you need to stop, and tell him that you want him to go down south on you for a change; or simply state what you want and tell him you want him. If this doesn’t work then I would start wondering if there is something else behind the whole (him not wanting sex and only bl**jobs) He’s also just 19 and we think about things way more then men do, so maybe he just thinks you enjoy going down on him and you aren’t looking for any other type of satisfaction. COMMUNICATION is key in any relationship especially when it comes to sex. Speak up, tell him what you want and that you don’t go down on him for his pleasure only, you need some attention too. Good luck….

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com 2010

  • Advice Column: He’s been spying on me


    The Question: He’s been spying on me, checking computer, e-mails, what do I do?

    My e-mail began acting up recently. After about a week, I decided to change my password and create a new account all together. When I changed my password, I found that mail forwarding had been activated. An easy file transfer was set up (so that all of my files/e-mails were sent to a different computer) as well as e-mail to iPhone. I live with my boyfriend. He’s a computer guy and has an iPhone. It had to be him.

    I’m not mad at all, I have NOTHING to hide. But I’m confused. We’re very close, affectionate, spend the majority of our time together. I feel we’re very open with one another and there’s no reason to be suspicious. Plus, he’s the least jealous guy I know. I have no idea why he’d be snooping around. The other night, we got in an argument. Afterward, I came downstairs, was typing on Yahoo Answers for advice. Perhaps maybe he thought I was e-mailing someone, I don’t know.

    I’ve change the password on the account and I am now using a new e-mail. As I said before, I don’t care if he looked because I have no secrets. I’m just concerned he did this behind my back and I am curious as to what he was looking for. I’ve let it go for a few days now. Should I bring it up? If so, how do I confront him?

    My response:

    Dear boyfriend intrusion;

    You definitely need to confront your boyfriend. Trust is one of the biggest issues people have in their relationship and without it, there is nothing to go by. Be honest with your boyfriend about what you found in your email. Remember that even though all fingers are pointing towards your boyfriend he may deny that he had anything to do with that, and you have to make a decision whether to trust him or not and move on from it. If he does admit it was him, explain to him that you have nothing to hide as he can see, but that it hurt that he had to go behind your back to do something like this, when he should have trusted you from the beginning. If he does admit this, you are going to have to trust he won’t do it again and move on from this. This is definitely a violation of trust and of your personal stuff. No person should have to go through the other persons stuff, it’s a violation of privacy. If the other person is curious about something then they should just ask. Good luck and keep me updated.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com (2010)

  • Advice Column: My girlfriend has been abused

    The Question: My girlfriend has been abused, and has fidelity issues how do I help her with them?

    My girlfriend and I have been involved since the beginning of February, so around, 6 weeks now. I realized very early on that there was a potential love and we have now come to acknowledge it (she first) [sic]. She is very bright, beautiful, an excellent lover, and open to new ideas and adventures. Unfortunately, she just got out of an abusive relationship in November where she was violently abused on half a dozen occasions and was cheated on four times. She sought revenge on him and cheated on him three times. After their breakup she whored around with 8 more guys in 2.5 months and used alcohol as an escape. She kept much of the nitty-gritty from me until she knew I wasn’t going to bail the moment she told me. She has agreed to start counseling at the end of the month.What should I do?

    (Edited)

    My response:

    Dear Boyfriend in a rut;

    You are definitely dating someone with a lot of baggage. Although it was good that she was honest with you, you are going to have to be patient and understanding and you are going to have to trust that she won’t go cheating on you due to her insecurities. There really isn’t much you can do but be there for her. Show her that you aren’t one of her ex’s that is going to go cheat on her and you aren’t going to be abusive to her either. You are already helping her by showing her you aren’t that kind of person and by supporting her in her decision to go to counseling. This will be very good for her. Your girlfriend going to counseling is already the first step into her getting better, her realizing that what she was doing to get over her hurt wasn’t the right route to go. You are already helping her by just being there for her and supporting her. Keep it up, it seems to me she has found a good boyfriend. Good luck, keep me updated.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    Please feel free to leave any comments.

    You can find this on Yahoo.com (2010)

  • Advice Column: Confiding in husbands friend

    Advice Column: Image found on google.com/images

    The Question: Confiding in husbands friend, is it okay to confide in him?

    I feel like I can talk to him better than my husband. When I try to talk to my hubby [sic] he just doesn’t listen. His friend listens to me and tells me his opinion on things, and no he is not trying to get me in his bed. This guy is not like that. What is your opinions on this subject?

    My Response:

    Dear confidant;

    It’s a tough call, the guy is your husbands friend so it may be a little awkward for your husband if he knows that you are going to his friend for advice. You really should be able to talk to your husband, he should be your confidant (your best friend, go to guy) and if he can’t sit down and talk to you, then you need to make sure to get his attention and tell him how you feel. Explain to him that you want to talk to him and you feel like he doesn’t listen. If he still doesn’t listen then it’s his own fault for pushing you towards his friend, I just hope what you are saying is true and that this friend isn’t “that type of guy”, unfortunately as a women we believe that, and we truly think these guys are only our friends, but unfortunately guys think way differently than we do and sometimes emotions may change, so be careful. I also hope that you truly just see it as a friendship and nothing more. Remember you are married, if you really love your husband talk to him, and try to make him understand what you are feeling. Good Luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com (2010)

  • Advice Column: My girlfriend is married

    Advice Column: Image found on google.com/images

    The Question:

    I am a 24 year old guy and I have girlfriend who is 31 years old, she is married, but we love each other and we are in a relationship. We have been in a relationship for the past 3 years, we share everything (sex) but I’m afraid of what will happen if she leaves far away (to a different state). She is calling me to have sex all the time, should I go or not? When I think about my love for her, I feel that I have to and want to go but when I think about her family I feel that I should stop. What do I do?

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Used;

    First of all, when you started a relationship with this women you knew she was married, so not only is she a cheater but you aren’t any better than she is knowing she is married and has a family. 3 YEARS!?! Wow, I can’t believe a relationship like this would go on for so long, do you realize she is only using you for the sex? This isn’t a relationship at all, you are only a booty call. She calls, you go, you sleep together, you leave and she stays the rest of her day with her family. She isn’t going to leave her husband, and even if she did, what makes you think the two of you would work out and she wouldn’t cheat on you later down the road. Is this the type of relationship you want? You are 24 years old, you are still young, and you have your whole life ahead of you, don’t throw it away on someone you think you love. Have respect for yourself and for her family who she is hurting and move on. Change your number and tell her that you don’t want anything to do with her anymore. Find a real women, a women that wouldn’t cheat on her family with another man, a women who would respect and love you and be with only you. Move on buddy….she’s just not that into you!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com (2010)

  • Advice Column: Should I break up with my gf?

    Advice Column: Image found on google.com/images

    The-Question:

    A couple of weeks ago my girlfriend admitted to me that the day before she cheated on me with another dude. I thought about it and decided to stay with her. Her ex is now telling me that she is having sex with him. On top of this my girlfriend and I are planning on having a baby. Can I have some outside input please?

    My Response:

    Dear Cheated On;

    First mistake was taking her back after finding out she cheated on you once. The ex boyfriend could be lying about sleeping with her now, but is that a chance you want to take? Once a cheater always a cheater, okay so this isn’t the case all the time, but it’s a big percentage that she will cheat again, especially knowing you took her back the first time. Now you are planning to have a baby with your girlfriend, (talking about it?) or she is already pregnant? If she isn’t pregnant, I don’t know why you are planning to have a baby with someone that A.) You aren’t married to & B.) She cheated on you and possibly more than once! If she is pregnant already, I would definitely take a paternity test to make sure the baby is indeed yours, and if it is, that doesn’t mean you need to stay with her. Don’t ever stay in a relationship you aren’t being respected in. She doesn’t respect you, if she did she wouldn’t have cheated on you. Respect yourself and get out of this relationship now before you do have a baby with her and you are stuck with her for the rest of your life. Find a girl that will respect you and love you and NOT cheat on you.

    Good luck.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com (2010)

  • Advice Column: Is my husband overprotective?

    Advice Column. Is my husband overprotective? Image found on google.com/images

    The-Question:

    I think mine is. It’s nice to have someone watch out for you and it shows that he really cares about me but sometimes it gets frustrating. For instance, he doesn’t like the idea of me going to the mall by myself. I know that our mall has a bit of crime and bums hang around and beg for money but even my parents let me go to the mall alone when I was a teenager and I’m 23 now. It’s not that he won’t let me go, he just lets me know how much he doesn’t like the idea and will go with me if he knows I’m going to go. He’s never kept me from doing anything I’ve wanted to do, he just tells me when he disagrees with one of my decisions and says that I don’t see the world for what it is. He says I assume people aren’t going to take advantage of me and that I’m kind of naive about strangers thinking I’m completely safe no matter where I go and I know that’s not true but I guess I have the attitude that “it couldn’t happen to me.” Another example is that when we stop at a store or gas station and he’s just running in to get something and I’m staying in the car, he says, “Keep the doors locked” and he locks them when he gets out. Anyway, my question is, does your husband do this or does he not care at all about what you do or where you go?

    My Response:

    Dear Over-Protective;

    I don’t have a husband, however I do have a boyfriend. I can understand a husband or boyfriend being protective, when you love someone you don’t want anything bad to happen to them. However, there is over protectiveness. Not letting you go to the mall alone and having to always tag along is a bit too much, sometimes we need our space and we need to do the smallest things alone, even if that is just going to the mall. If you don’t live in a safe neighborhood I can understand him being a little more worried about it, but if it’s a good neighborhood then he needs to stop thinking so negative (that every time you step out of the house something can happen to you) if we lived like that we would all drive ourselves crazy. He needs to trust that you are a grown women, you are only 23 but you are married already, you are a grown women and you can take care of yourself. If it makes him feel safe talk to him and explain to him that you will be okay just going to the mall, he needs to not be so protective of you, and if it helps carry one of those mace bottles on your key chain or in your purse. Just because someone isn’t acting like your husband doesn’t mean that person doesn’t care or love the other person some men are more protective than others. As for the locking the doors when he goes into the gas station, that’s completely normal, I think everyone does that, even my mother tells me to lock the doors if she leaves me in the car, and I’m older than you. Talk to your husband and try to explain to him that it’s okay for you to go certain places without him, you’ll be just fine. If this is how it is to just go to the mall, it can get worse for future things, and you don’t want to have that kind of relationship with your husband. He needs to trust you and he needs to trust that you’ll be okay. Always be aware of your surroundings no matter what, and always take your keys out of your purse before you exit the mall or any other store you are in. Being protective of your loved ones is one thing, being over protective and not letting them go anywhere with out them is another. Talk to your husband and nip this in the butt now.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com (2010)