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Tag: advice

  • Life gets BUSY….

    Life gets BUSY….

    So lately I’ve been slacking on Soapnights, there really is no excuse but I just have been feeling very overwhelmed with work, school and my new house.

    Renovating a new house with my boyfriend has taken much more of our time then ever expected. Although we are absolutely loving it and it’s coming out beautiful, it’s a lot of work, time and money.

    Happy New Years By the way…..

    This year we took a trip for new years to a small town called Blairsville, Georgia. It’s a beautiful little town, and getting away from life for a while helped me relax a bit before starting the new year.

    In life we sometimes get so busy we forget to stop and smell the roses ‘so to speak’. I’ve been so busy lately that with a blink of an eye it’s already 2012! When did life start passing me by? I have so much left to do before I turn 30 and this year is going to be my year.

    Let’s start off with what I will accomplish before the end of the year:

    Bachelors Degree in Psychology by June
    Starting Masters in Journalism
    Finish Remodeling my house ~ At least in the inside…
    And…. A few things I won’t say because I don’t want to jinx them šŸ˜‰

    That’s not such a long list, now is it?

    Ever wonder what you will accomplish before your 30? 40? 50? I really don’t, I live in the moment and I try to focus on what is right in front of me at the moment, but getting older I do start to wonder and think about all the things I should have done by now that I’m still working on. So although this year is going to be busy I am going to make it an effort to write more on my site and if you have any questions or concerns you need advice on, I’m only an email away.

    As for today. Happy Friday the 13th!!! Let’s start this weekend out with a SMILE~

    xo
    kristin nicole

  • Struggling mind

    My mind struggles to think
    I can feel every aspect in my mind trying to focus
    but every time I close my eyes and try to think of nothing
    I can’t!
    It’s in constant motion,
    constant thinking
    negative thoughts, positive thoughts
    but mostly just thoughts.

    How can you get your mind to relax, to just not think of anything at all. Fully focus on nothing and let your body just relax.

    Some say sleep is a form of relaxation.
    Many people don’t remember their dreams, but I dream almost every night.
    Mostly nonsense stuff that doesn’t even make sense.
    When I wake up I feel exhausted sometimes, feeling like that dream had me running for miles.

    My mind has control of me, my thoughts, my dreams my desires. How do you make it stop just for one second?
    Just stop for one second so that I can breath with out feeling the pressure in my head.
    Stop for one second so I can think straight.
    When I read, I’m thinking
    When I lie there, I’m thinking
    When I dream, I’m thinking
    It never just stops, it never just lets me relax, it never just lets me BE ME!

    It’s like a fish in a bowl, swimming in circles for hours, for days until he takes his last breath. I sometimes feel like that, a routine, work, school, play, work, school, play. It never just stops, I never stop.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    Ā© –written by: kristin nicole — January 22, 2010 @ 10:15 am– Inspired by a dream, stuck in a dream–

  • Is Romance Overrated?!?

    Romance By Definition:

    a. A love affair.
    b. Ardent emotional attachment or involvement between people; love: They kept the romance alive in their marriage for 35 years.
    c. A strong, sometimes short-lived attachment, fascination, or enthusiasm for something: a childhood romance with the sea.

    Is it overrated?!?

    As a young girl, you watch all these movies that make you wonder, is Love really out there?!? Is there really that guy out there that will romance me and whisk me away into a fairytale ending?!? Unfortunately Life doesn’t work that way. There really is no Prince Charming to whisk you away into a castle, and you don’t become a princess over night. However, love is out there, that I do believe. But is Romance overrated?!? Do we expect men to ROMANCE us to wine and dine us until we simply just fall into there laps, giving them all our attention and love, Or do we just want Romance because that’s what the world tells us we want?!?

    My thoughts

    I think every girl wants romance, it doesn’t matter if that movie isn’t real, it just matters that a guy would try to make a night romantic, it just melts a girls heart. It shows how much the man cares or loves the women, and in every aspect in the girls heart, it tells her “He really does care”. To go out of his way, and make this a special night just for me?!? What more can a girl ask for?!?

    There are some men out there that love to be romantic and constantly romance their women. However, there is that guy that just doesn’t see a point to romancing their women if they already have her. It’s not something you do to catch the girl, it’s something you do to show how much you love her, to show that you care enough to think about doing something so unexpected. I wouldn’t want romance all the time, it would kill the idea of being surprised every once in a while. But in a dark room, where your thoughts lie, you always dream about that one night, when the guy will come to romance you in ways you’ve never known.

    Examples

    The intimate setting of rose petals, candles, some massage oils, strawberries and campaign. (Something simple, that I’m sure most women would love).

    I once heard a story about a proposal, it was so cute:

    The story:

    The girl got home from work to find a note from her boyfriend, it said pack 2 over night clothes for day and night and at 5pm a limo will be showing up to pick you up to take you to the airport. Don’t worry about where I’m taking you, just get ready. At 5pm sharp, there was a knock on the door, and the limo driver stood there with one single rose in his hand. He handed it to her and on the rose read a note: “From the moment I fell in love with you, I knew you were the one”. The limo driver took her bags and headed to the airport. At the airport she stood in the check in line and the lady at the counter logged her in and gave her another single rose. The girl looked around wondering how she knew who she was. There was another note “With every day that passes my love for you grows”. She got to the plane and to her surprise she was sitting first class. She boarded the plane to New York, and the flight attendant came up to her and handed her another single rose. Now she was freaking out. She asked if she knew her boyfriend, and the flight attendant just said no, she was just told to give this rose the person sitting in Row A Seat 2. Another note…”I know you are freaking out, but don’t, I’ll see you soon”. She landed in New York and a limo driver was waiting with her name, he took her bags and handed her another single rose with another note that read “I’ll see you soon”. She was starting to get nervous, what could all this mean. She didn’t think he would be proposing considering they had talked about it, but it just didn’t seem as if he was ready any time soon, so this had to be something different, right?!? The limo driver took her to Central Park, and told her to get on that carriage there. She asked the man if he knew her boyfriend and he said please hop on and I’ll take you to him. He handed her a single rose and a note that read “I’ve never known anyone like you, smart, funny, sexy, my best friend”. Has she rode her way through Central Park she saw candles lighting up the sidewalk and at the end of it was her boyfriend with a dozen Lilly’s and roses, as she walked up to him he got down on one knee, her hands began to shake because she couldn’t believe what was happening, he opened the box and told her how much he loved her, he couldn’t see himself with any other women, she was his best friend and he wanted her to be his wife. “Will you marry me”? With tears in her eyes she said YES!

    Now that’s a Romantic Proposal!

    So is Romance Overrated?!? Or is it just something we want to have?

    What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~ by Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

    When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.
    ~ by Elizabeth Bowen (1899-1973) ~

    xo
    kristin nicole

  • His Religious Parents Don’t approve & I feel Guilty he left home for me…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I am in desperate need of help. I have been in a relationship for few years now. We are both 24, and want to get engaged. In our culture we have to have our parents permission to get engaged and for the engagement ceremony the parents sit down and decide a date etc. His parents had no reason to say no to this relationship (I am as educated as he is, I earn as much as he does, we are from the same culture, same religion, same caste, same well educated family background, as good looking as he is, loves him as much he does me). His parents first made some excuses but then allowed us to date, but when it started getting serious they have been stubborn and blackmailing him (by saying they will die if he moves out and gets married to me) beating him up (I AM SERIOUS. they are beating up a 24 year old guy). They lock him up in the room just so that he cant come see me… torturing him by saying things like the will kill themselves if he gets married to me, that he has forgotten their 24 years of raising him, for one girl etc. His parents even called my parents and abused them and asked them for me to loose contact with him. TALKING and asking for reasons doesn’t work, all they have to say is “we feel that if you guys get married it will end up in a divorce”. His parents haven’t even met me yet and they said no because they feel he loves me so much and I will take advantage of it in future.

    He loves me a lot and he has been going through all this suffering just to get a YES from his parents. (because he doesn’t want his parents to blame me for snatching away their child in future) now he has finally decided to move out after 3 months of painful suffering just because of me. I don’t know why I feel guilty for his separation from his parents! I feel if I never came to his life he wouldn’t have gone through all this **** and crap! Am I doing the wrong thing by wanting to spend my life with him and by making him move out of his house?

    What is the best solution in this situation? I NEED HELP. I have been under severe depression and stress and frustration and I cant take it anymore. I NEED TO KNOW IF THERE IS ANY OTHER SOLUTION???
    Waiting for your reply…

    ~guilty

    My Response:

    Dear Guilty;

    It seems to me that no matter what woman your boyfriend was going to take home, they weren’t going to be good enough for his family. If they haven’t even met you yet, they have no right to judge. I understand that in these types of religions that the parents have a little more control over the situation. (I am not sure what religion you are and the extent of the situation). However, no parent, I don’t care what religion you are, has the right to abuse a child. Locking him up in his room is abuse and that is not to be taken lightly. Your boyfriend is no longer a child but a 24 year old man, and if he chooses to move out of his home, it is his right and his decision. I understand that he moved out to be with you, but you cannot blame yourself for the situation that stands between his parents and himself. His parents obviously have some issues they need to attend to, and your boyfriend needs to stand up and talk to them, explain to them that you both don’t want them to not be in your lives but that they need to understand that he loves you and all the both of you want is for them to give you their blessing and accept you into their family. I know it’s easier said than done, but maybe you need to go together to speak to his parents. Talk to your boyfriend first and explain to him how you feel, I am sure he does not blame you for leaving his house, this was his decision and he is a grown man. Communication is key in any relationship, you can’t hold in what you are feeling, you need to talk to your boyfriend and try to see what you can do together to make this relationship work. Don’t feel guilty, you have done nothing wrong but love your boyfriend….

    Good luck

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    If you need more advice don’t hesitate to email me.

  • Inspiration

    This week…

    So this week I didn’t have many Advice columns, I was inspired to write from the heart, write about life and questions that we sometimes have. I have come across a few people in my life, friends that have come and gone, boyfriends, and family and I know so many people who have the same questions. Sometimes we think we are alone in what we feel, we feel like no one can ever understand us. In some cases no one will know 100% of what you feel because everyone goes through life differently and everyone reacts differently to situations, but just because you go through it differently doesn’t mean another person can’t understand what you are going through.

    Life is a road we all must take, and although we don’t know where it is going, we drive on it anyway, hoping it leads us to that happy ending in the sky….

    Inspiration:

    In life I have met people who have inspired me to become a better person, inspired me to fight for what I want and inspired me that no matter what you may think about yourself or what others may think of you, in the end you will find your way….
    Life has brought a lot of negative things but it’s also brought a lot of positive, loving things. If we dwell on the negative that has happened to us then we will never be able to truly move forward, we will never be able to truly feel the happiness that is out there waiting for us. I can’t say I haven’t held grudges or that I’m perfect, and I am not saying it’s easy to forgive someone that has hurt you, but if we can’t change the past, we can’t change what happened to us then we need to learn how to move on from it. We need to learn that the past stays in the past and our future has so many more possibilities filled with love and happiness. I have to believe that there is more out there for me, just like I know there is more out there for you (the person reading this). Each day I get closer to my dreams coming true.

    Today I am inspired to become a better person
    Today I am inspired to make my dreams come true
    Today I am inspired to believe in the unbelievable
    Today I am inspired to Love
    Today I am inspired to take in the cool air and imagine the possibilities
    Today I am just inspired…..

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    Ā© kristin nicole

  • Is it ever too late?

    Is it ever too late?

    Sometimes in life we wonder if it’s ever to late to do some of the things we wished we had done when we were younger. Is it too late to go back to school and finish my degree? Is it too late to tell him/her I love him/her? Is it too late to buy those shoes I saw in the window? Is it too late to move to another city? Is it too late?

    Nothing in life is ever easy, no one can tell you to turn right instead of left, and at the end of the day it’s never too late….

    I hate to say I’m passed the age where I should have already received a Master’s Degree, let alone my Bachelors, but I’m in school and little by little working my way to getting that degree. I thought at one point it was too late, too late to continue and do what I want to do, too late to finish and too late to follow my dreams. I’m living proof that it’s never too late. Sure it’s taking me long enough, but I have to work full time and go to school, and although it isn’t easy each day moves forward and each day is a day closer to that degree. Going to school online I meet people who are a lot older than I am, also living proof, that ‘It’s NEVER too late’.

    I still wonder about the ‘what ifs’, I wonder where I would be and what I would be doing, but in life ‘EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON’, and I truly believe that. (That’s another story I would have to tell you about another time…). But like I said….things happen for a reason. We meet people in our lives who cross our paths only to introduce us to people that will be in our future. If we sit here all the time wondering about the what ifs, and is it ever too lates… in the world, then life will pass us by and we’ll never know what could have been.

    It’s never too late to live your dream, buy those shoes in the window or tell that person you love them. Don’t stop dreaming, don’t stop believing in hope, and have faith and strength to do the things you want to do in life. I’m not perfect and sometimes I get scared to move to the next step in life, but if we don’t keep walking forward, then we’ll miss out on all the great things life has to offer us. With every hard moment in life a good moment is right around the corner. With every little fear inside of us, lives the strength and hope to keep us moving forward. It’s never too late to do the things we want to do in life. Life is too short, don’t live it wondering if it’s too late, just get out there and go for it.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Dreams do come true…

    Dreams do come true….

    Dreams are what our hearts desire. We dream about the future and what we could have. When we are kids we dream big, we believe everything and anything is possible, somewhere a long the way we somehow lose that faith, that anything is indeed possible.

    Sometimes I get anxious, I try to think positive and believe that anything is possible. If I think positive and believe in the future, it will happen. If I give it my all, the possibilities will become reality. As I try to believe in my words I get anxious, I think it comes from being scared. Scared about the ā€˜what ifā€™sā€™ in life, scared that dreams donā€™t actually come true.

    When you dream big you become big. Some think that if you dream big, you are only looking towards a bigger disappointment. But isnā€™t dreaming about what you want in life the goal we have to try to achieve, and if we fail, doesnā€™t that mean that we have to fight stronger, move forward and keep fighting for that dream? If we give up on our dreams, then what do we have to look forward to? No one ever said that dreaming big was easy, no one said that your dreams would come true the moment you think of them. We have to fight for our dreams, work hard to achieve them and remember that anything is possible. If we believe in ourselves, if we believe that anything is possible and that dreams can come true, then we live a life much easier than those who believe nothing good can come from dreaming big.

    I never really thought about what I REALLY wanted in life, what my dreams were, or if I ever really had a dream that was so big it can make me happy. When I stop to think about where I am in my life right now, I realize all the things I didnā€™t do up until now, but I also realize all the good that I have in my life. Without heartbreak, struggles, fear, we donā€™t become the people we are supposed to be. Each morning we get up, we have a routine (either work or school, or some other type of activity) we then get home to either take care of our kids, study, cook etc and then we go to sleep to start the day all over again. But do you wake up going to a place you are happy with? Do we settle for contentment or do we fight the big fight called LIFE?

    I want to fight, I want to dream and I want to believe that ANYTHING is POSSIBLE. I want to become who I am destined to be. Iā€™m going to dream, Iā€™m going to work to make those dreams come true and one day you will see that no matter what happens in life, dreams can come true.

    ~ Donā€™t ever stop believing in your dreams, because when you stop believing in your dreams you stop believing in yourself. ~Kristin Nicole

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Lifes many paths

    Life

    Do you ever look around you and see how many different people there are out there in the world. Ever wonder what each one is thinking? If the man driving next to you is a great guy or a murderer? You never know. You never truly know anyone because no matter how honest or how open a person is with you, everyone has secrets. Iā€™m not saying there bad secrets just Secrets. A secret can be about anything, something sad that happened to you when you were younger that you just never shared with anyone. A feeling or a thought you had that you never thought sharing with someone would help. Secrets you hold within yourself, secrets that may keep you going stronger or secrets that tear you apart.

    Secrets

    Maybe you donā€™t think itā€™s a secret, because you donā€™t mind telling someone about it, you just never saw a reason to tell anyone about it. The smallest things in life change who you are. The biggest things in life, change your life, and the moments you think donā€™t matter, really do matter.

    Hard Times

    When something in life feels so hard and so sad, you think, this is itā€¦am I ever going to be okay?! Somehow we are all stronger then we think and somehow we all keep living. Does this mean that weā€™ll eventually forget whatever it was that hurt us or made us sad or angry? Iā€™m sorry to say NO, but it does get better with time. I know everyone says ā€œthings will get better with timeā€, but how much time? That is an answer only time can tell. Itā€™s hard to hear, and itā€™s hard to go through, but these are the tribulations in our lives that make us stronger. These are the moments that you have to sit back on and think to yourself, what could have been different? Could it have been different? It was out of my control, so now how do I make things better?

    Life Changes

    Life is a mystery and no matter how many people try to figure it out, I donā€™t think you can. Every person, every life is Different. The way you look, the way you speak, smell, smile, laugh, talk, eatā€¦. The list goes on and on. We are all different and that is what makes us unique. This is what separates us from others and makes you who you are.

    In life you come to learn that it does truly pass you by. With a blink of an eye, you can loose the person you loved. In a second, life can change before you with out giving you warning and with time you learn to realize that this is LIFE.

    Destiny

    I sit back and wonder where my life will be in a few years, will it be where my hopes and dreams are, or will it take me down a different path. A path that unknowingly will be my destiny. We build roads but we choose the paths we walk on.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Happy Birthday Mom

    Have you ever had a best friend in your life? A friend that isn’t just your friend but your mom? That’s how I feel about my mom…. If I have a problem with anything I know I can always count on her, I can only hope to be a great mother one day, the way she has been to me and my brother and sister.

    I want to dedicate this poem to my mom… Happy Birthday Mom, I hope you are having a wonderful day; today and many more years to come.

    Today Is your Day…

    Today is the day I thank God
    Not only for making you my mother
    But for making you my Best Friend.

    Today is the day I thank God
    For having you in my life.
    When I needed you the most you were always there for me.
    When I thought my heart was breaking you cried with me.
    When I thought I wasn’t good enough, you encouraged me.
    When I thought life was too hard, you showed me the way.
    Without you in my life I would be lost
    You showed me to be me, you love me for me and you accept every part of me.

    You are not only my best friend, but my mother
    And I am the luckiest daughter in the world to have a mother like you in my life.

    Today I thank God
    Because without you I would be lost.
    Happy Birthday Mom! I love you!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    “A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.” –Washington Irving

  • Begging for money

    $$ Begging For Money $$
    $$ Begging For Money $$

    You see these men and women out on the streets begging for money, and don’t you wonder how it is they got there?

    Walking the Streets

    Each day I get to work, or leave work there is always someone on the corner light begging for money. I sit there sometimes and look at them, wondering only one question. How did you get here? What happened to your life that you ended up on the streets, scrounging for money, trying to get something to eat or drink?

    This Morning

    I was at the red light, almost to work, when a man asked the car next to me for money. I knew he was coming my way next. Sometimes I’m not sure if I should look to see if I have any money to give them, I think, they’ll probably end up using it for drugs or alcohol. (This is most likely the case). However, a part of me always feels so saddened of the man standing in front of my window just begging for money. Today, I looked around and I only had 50 cents, I told the man, I was sorry but this was all I had. He smiled and said, “God Bless you mame, I’m just trying to get some food, I’m really hungry”. I rolled up my window and just felt so sad for this man. As I look back in my rear-view mirror I see him going to another car. I look down at his feet, (for some reason I always look to see what kind of shoes the person is wearing). He looked like he had on a pair of Jordan’s, yellow on the side and fairly new. Now doesn’t this make you think? What is a man, with a pair of good shoes, doing on the streets, begging for money, if he can afford those shoes he’s wearing? The light turned green and I continued on my way to work, only wondering if the man truly needed money to eat, or for something else he thought might be a little more important? Either way, I still felt bad for him.

    The greedy

    When I worked in Down Town Miami, I was driving home, stuck at a red light again when a women was begging/asking for money. I rolled down my window and all I had was 25 cents. I knew it wasn’t much, but I thought to myself, “Any little bit counts, eventually it will add up”. She turned to me and looked me in the face and she had the audacity to tell me, ” THIS IS IT? That’s all you’re giving me”? I turned with rage in my voice, I said, EXCUSE ME? You should be grateful that I gave you anything, and you should be grateful to any person who gives you whatever they may have. She turned and apologized, but I just rolled my window back up in disbelief. A poor women on the streets, clearly not right in the mind, dressed with rags, hair all over the place, had the nerve to say that what I was giving her wasn’t good enough for her? I took a deep breath and realized that this women wasn’t right in the head, and I shouldn’t get upset. I just couldn’t believe that a poor women was being picky with what a person was giving her. Comes to show you, that even the poor aren’t appreciative sometimes.

    More Thoughts…

    Life is a mystery, and no matter how much I try to comprehend some of the things in life, I learn each time that sometimes, there are really no TRUE Answers, No real answers to tell you how it works, or what to do. Sometimes I wonder if that bum in the corner has a family? What happened to their life that they got to this corner on the street that I’m at right now? Answers we’ll never know, but some of us continue to try and help.

    Do you have a story to tell about a person you met in the streets? Let me know, I would love to share it with others.

    “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. ~Theodore Roosevelt

    xo,
    kristin nicole