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Tag: advice

  • Marriage on the Rocks Insecure and Possessive?

    The Question:

    I am 24 married with 3 kids. We have been married 6 years and she is 26. I want to know if I am wrong. I have been laid off of work (construction field) and my wife works. She works m-f from 6am-6pm. I watch the 3 kids all day all under the age of 6. When she comes home I would like to leave because they drive me crazy. I go to my homies house and chill there until about 12 in the morning. She always gets mad when I leave like I cant get out once in a blue moon she doesn’t but she always gets mad. She doesn’t let me use the car because it’s a stick and she doesn’t trust me with it and wont give me any money because she thinks I’m going to buy weed with it. I smoke at my friend’s house. She never believes me when I say imp going somewhere she checks my calls and gets mad if I dress real nice when I leave. She is controlling and possessive. I have not lied to her for almost 2 months so why is she still upset. Is she overreacting or am I? She is entirely too insecure…. Help

    My Response:

    Dear Home Dad;

    I’m going to be blunt, so don’t take offense. You need to grow up! You married young and have three children, but this is something you should have thought about before all of it happened, it’s too late now and you need to take responsibility. It’s okay to want a break and get some fresh air after being with the children all day, but at the same time you wife is working all day and bringing home the money, you need to do your part around the house if you aren’t working, and it seems that you are doing just that. However, I can understand her not wanting to give you money so that you can spend it on weed, if you are tight on money and she’s the only one working you shouldn’t be spending on something that you shouldn’t be doing in the first place. Going to your friends house almost every night until midnight is unacceptable,e you are married and although you are tired you need to spend time with your wife as well. I am sure that when she gets home from work she would like to spend time with you. If you don’t like staying home with the kids all day, then find another job. I know it’s hard out there right now but keep looking and I’m sure something will come up. You are still young and you have a lot to learn, but you are married and have three children, so it’s time to grow up and work on your family.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My wife is cheating on me via web cam…

    The Question:

    Discovered My Wife has been on the web cam with some man over the past several months?
    Over the last Year, My wife has been acting very strange. Her temper has been very erratic. She has been evasive with me. Pushing me away when I try to get her in the mood. I don’t know what’s gotten into her. I knew something was up with her. I knew that she had been talking to another man, I know this next part was wrong of me. But the other night she went out with her sister and some friends. I got on her laptop and guessed her password. On the first try I got the password correct! I was able to see her ” Voice Call History” And found out that since April 15th 2010, she has had about 30-40 Voice ” Web Cam” Sessions with some other man from Ohio! How do I go about confronting her with this? The Web Caming happened usually around 4-6AM, sometimes in the early afternoon. The last time she was on the web cam with him was over 4th of July while I was out at a company BBQ, I’m so upset that I feel like I’m going to punch a hole in the wall. I cannot read the actual emails back and forth because she has deleted them all.

    How should I go about confronting her over this? I just don’t understand why she would be this stupid. I found photos of the guy she was doing it with and he’s some Young, Punk. Guy looks like he’s in his early 20’s. My wife has on her profile that she’s 28 years old when she’s actually 41. Imp just Furious!!! What should I do?

    My Response:

    Dear Web Cam;

    Your wife can be going through a midlife crisis of some sort, or perhaps just is not happy in your marriage. This doesn’t excuse what your wife has done. I would confront her and talk to her. It’s not going to be easy and you have to be prepare yourself to hear things you might not want to hear. You are going to have choices, you can either talk with your wife and seek counseling to try and keep your marriage alive, or you can take some time off and think about staying in a marriage that has been full of lies. No person should have to go through what you are about to go through and what your wife is doing is inexcusable. I don’t think you really need someone to tell you what to do here, I think you already know what you need to do, but you might be a little scared to confront her. Having to hear the truth about what you have been suspecting is never easy, but you have to face the truth and move forward.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answer.Yahoo.com

  • Confrontation…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    Have you ever had a confrontation with your boyfriend and later realized you were wrong and now you owe him an apology?

    My Response:

    Dear Confrontation;

    I am sure many people have had confrontations with their boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, parents, friends and have later come to realize they were wrong. If you are wrong the right thing to do is put your pride away and apologize. It will definitely make your relationships stronger knowing that you are woman enough to apologize. I would hope that your boyfriend would do the same if he realized he was wrong in any given situation. Owning up to your mistakes will teach you a lot along the way.
    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Is it kind of usual now for parents to cheat on each other?

    The Question:

    Is it kind of usual now for parents to cheat on each other?

    My dad first cheated on my mum when I was around 10. From then he’s had about 3 affairs with different women, all who are after his money but he’s too blind and stubborn to see that. I just want to know if that’s kind of normal in families now.

    My Response:

    Dear Normal;

    This is not normal and I’m sorry you have had to know and see what your dad does to your mom since the age of 10. No parent, man, women, or anyone should cheat on the other. It’s infidelity and betrayal in the worst possible way. If you love someone you don’t cheat on them. What your dad has done to your mom isn’t right, and if your mom has stuck it out with your dad, I’m sure she has her reasons, or she is just in denial and didn’t want to break up the marriage. Your mom could have also stayed with your dad thinking it was “best for the children”. Have you ever tried sitting down with your mom and telling her what you know? Have you ever tried confronting your father? Sometimes it isn’t good to get in the middle of your parents situations because I truly believe that their problems should stay between them, but the fact that you have know that your dad has been cheating on your mum for years now, is affecting you. At the end of the day you want to know if this is normal for a family? For a man to cheat on his family and wife? The answer to that is NO. Although many people today cheat on each other, it doesn’t make it right. Being faithful and loving someone with all you have is one of the biggest challenges in today’s life, and it’s sad that we have to even call that a challenge. It should come easy and if you have doubts believe me, there are still good people out there who don’t cheat on their partners.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Really unhappy, is it time to move on?

    The Question:

    I’ve been with my husband for 10 years married for 4 and we just fight everyday. The romance is gone, we fight about things everyday and I know to a point these things are normal but I’m sick of it. When I explain how much things he says upset or offend me he just doesn’t get it! I’m so frustrated all I want to do is leave!! Any advice would be good!! He’s a good person but I am just not attracted to him anymore. How do you get those feelings back once they’re gone?

    My Response:

    Dear Fighting all the Time;

    Fighting all the time is not normal, so let’s start with that. Second – Sometimes if we fall out of love there is really nothing we can do to make it better. Have you tried sitting down with your husband and talking about how you feel? The only solution I can give you is to TALK! Communicate how you feel, and try to see if you can stop fighting all the time and rebuild your relationship. If you guys have tried working it out and it is still the same, then there is always marriage counseling. If you tried marriage counseling and you are both still miserable then maybe you have to look at the options. Either stay in a loveless marriage and be miserable fighting all the time, or move your separate ways. Communication is key, without talking you won’t figure it out on your own. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • How do I convince my husband?

    The Question:

    Well every time I want to do something nice for him example…give him a good massage after work, buy him a gift, do something that I know he will like he thinks that I have some hidden intentions or that I want something in return for the things I do. I tried numerous times to explain that I do it because I love him, I want him to be happy, that there is no hidden meaning / ulterior motives behind my actions but he is so doubtful!!
    What can I do to remove those unfounded doubts which kills me! I wonder..who wouldn’t be happy to have a good head, foot or back massage after work?

    My Response:

    Dear Massage;

    I have to agree with you on this one, I am not sure who wouldn’t want a massage after work, with that said have you tried having a serious conversation with your husband when it comes to him feeling this way? Try sitting with him and talking to him about how you feel and why you like to be attentive to him. Have you always been this way through out your relationship, or is this something you are all of a sudden doing? If it’s something new, it may explain why he feels you are being this way to get something out of it, if you have always been this way then he should know this is how you are and that there are no ulterior motives. If this is the case, then maybe there is something more behind him not wanting the attention. Have things changed recently in your relationship? Has he been acting weird in anyway besides not wanting attention? These are all things you should look into and ask yourself. If nothing has changed and this is your only worry, you have two choices. One – Talk to your husband and tell him that he makes you feel bad when you are trying to do something nice and he thinks that it’s only because you want something in return. Or Two – Don’t offer to do nice things anymore and see if he misses them afterward.
    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • The Pride of Our Country – Happy 4th of July

    The Pride of Our Country

    Today as before, our brave do fight
    For a land they love, a flag so right

    The pride of our country, yes they are
    The strength of our nation, best by far

    Just as our brave from each war gone by
    They march for us proudly, flag held high

    From all over this land they come to serve
    They’re taught by the best, this they deserve

    When troops give their all, the world does see
    Whether serving on land, in the air, or at sea

    The pride from this country, march through war
    With home drawn strength, held deep in their core

    Our best are so awesome, their loved ones well know
    May God guide their journey where they – for us – go

    What these brave must have is support from their own
    The love from their people, firm thankfulness shown

    Our greatest achievement is that we’re still free
    Please take time and ponder who caused this to be

    by Roger Robicheau
    ©2005Roger J. Robicheau

    You can see Roger Boicheau’s poem HERE

    – Happy 4th of July Everyone, hope you have a wonderful day.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • What Stupid Thing Happened to you?

    What Stupid Thing Happened To You?

    Just yesterday I had to go to Publix on 134 SW 13th St in Downtown Miami, to get a money order. My boyfriend and I went in together and were both getting money orders. We had a sum amount and were splitting it, however, he was getting one and I was getting one. Two separate accounts, nothing to do with the other. The lady asks us for two forms of ID. I asked her why that is, and she said because you are getting a money order for more than $3000. I explained that we weren’t, mine was 1k+ and his was 1k+, one had nothing to do with the other. My account is totally different than his account. She insisted that it was over 3k and she just wasn’t understanding what I had to say. I asked to speak to her manager, and the manager proceeded to tell me the same thing. She said we knew each other and we came in together. WHAT????? I can know 5 people behind me and we can be taking a total of 8 thousand dollars, it shouldn’t matter! If we are all getting separate money orders and each has a different account I do not see the problem. Now had I had 2 forms of ID on me, I would have just done it, but we were on a time frame and I don’t carry my social security number with me and I don’t have a passport, and if I did I wouldn’t carry that with me either.

    So I normally try to hold my composer, but again we were on a time frame trying to close on our first house today and we needed to get these money orders. I proceeded to lose my temper and tell the lady she was a Freaken Idiot and walked away. Now I say this is a stupid thing that happened to me because the lady was obviously not understanding that just because we came in together does not mean we are withdrawing over 3k. I can understand if it was coming from the same account, but it wasn’t. My account is one account, and my boyfriends is his account. We don’t even have the same last name for goodness sakes!

    So did we get the money order? Of course we did, we ended up going to the Publix on 311 SW 7th St. The girl was very nice and without a problem I got my money order and my boyfriend got his. No thanks to the Publix on 13th Street we were able to close on our house yesterday. So thank you for being idiots and allowing me to realize to NEVER go to your PUBLIX Again, and just because the 7th street was so nice and fast, I will continue to shop there instead. (Yeah I know it’s still a PUBLIX, but it’s the closest thing to my house right now). 😉

    What Stupid Thing has happened to you? Tell your story in the Comments Page.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • My girlfriend left me after 5 years…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    My girlfriend of 5 years just picked up and left. I love her but I don’t understand her. She wants to get married and I am not ready for such a commitment. I do want to spend the rest of my life with her, but I don’t know that I want to marry her. My parents were divorced, there parents were divorced and I don’t see why you need to get married in order to start your life together. How do I get her back, how do I convince her that I love her but I don’t know if I’ll ever want to get married? Please Help…

    ~Don’t Want to Get Married

    My Response:

    Dear Don’t Want to Get Married;

    I think your girlfriend has every right to leave you. You have been together for 5 years and you are telling her that you aren’t sure when you want to get married. Women want to grow and have a marriage and family and if you aren’t that guy then just let her go. Knowing that she wants to get married, you have a choice to make, either overcome your fear of marriage and get the girl you love and want to spend your life with back, or let her go and find someone who doesn’t want to get married. There are still women out there who don’t want to get married and living in a girlfriend/boyfriend status is fine with them, maybe this is the type of woman you need to look for. If you really love your girlfriend and you want to spend the rest of your life with her, then what is the big deal of not wanting to get married? Sure some marriages fail, but you won’t know until you try, besides just because your parents didn’t last doesn’t mean you won’t last with your girlfriend. Do what you feel in your heart, but don’t hold on to her if you know what she wants is marriage and a family and it isn’t something you want. If you can’t picture your life without her, then perhaps marriage isn’t as bad as you think it is….

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Ex Fiance…Lost house…What’s Next?

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    Everything in my life lately seems to be going downhill. I broke up with my fiance, I lost my house, and now I’m trying to find my own place. Everywhere I look I get shot down or something is wrong. I just feel like nothing is going my way lately. My ex called and he wants to talk, the reason we broke up was because he was cheating on me. I am thinking of taking him back and maybe things will start getting better. What do you think?

    ~Bad luck

    My Response:

    Dear Bad luck;

    Getting back with your ex isn’t going to solve your problems. He is your ex for a reason, and he cheated on you, there is no justification on getting back with him. You need to start thinking positive and you need to move on with your life. Maybe have a girls night out to clear your mind, or take some Yoga classes or even better, kick boxing to get all the frustration piled up out on the punching bag. Get yourself together and find a real man who won’t cheat on you, a nice apartment you’ll be happy in and you will soon see that everything will come together.

    xo,
    kristin nicole