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  • Advice Column: I’m cheating on my fiancé

    Advice Column: Cheating on my fiancé. Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: Cheating on my fiance. Image found on flickr.com

    Advice Column: I’m cheating on my fiancé

    I’m getting married in a weeks time, but I’m sleeping with someone else. I love my fiancé, he is the love of my life but I can’t let the other guy go and I don’t know what to do. Help.

    (Edited)

    My Response: 

    Dear Cheater;

    If you were truly in love and ready to get married you wouldn’t be cheating on your fiancé. You say he is the “love of your life”, but if this was true, then why are you sleeping with another man? You want your cake and you want to eat it too. Unfortunately that’s not how life works. How would you feel if your fiancé was sleeping with another woman? You have two choices to make, either leave this guy you are sleeping with or let your fiancé know the truth, let him move on, and stay with your lover.

    You can’t have the best of both worlds, eventually the truth will come out and it will all blow up in your face. Good luck.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: I’m not ready

    Advice Column: Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: I’m not ready… Image found on flickr.com

    Advice Column: I’m not ready

    I’m 14 and my boyfriend is 18, and he really wants to have sex with me but I want to wait until I’m older before I lose my virginity. The other day he said he will break up with me if I don’t let him have sex with me and I really love him and don’t want to break up. What should I do?

    My Response:

    Dear 14 year old;

    First and foremost you are really young to be thinking about having sex. Sex isn’t something that you just give away to anyone. If he really loves you, he would wait. You have a big age difference and sometimes that can be a challenge, but if you aren’t ready to lose your virginity do not allow him or anyone else give you an ultimatum. Go with your gut instinct and wait. If he breaks up with you because you won’t have sex with him then he doesn’t really love you. Like I said before, if he loves you he will wait, and if he doesn’t then you deserve someone better. It may hurt to lose him but it’s better to move on from someone who won’t respect your wishes than to give in and regret it later.

    xo

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: Abusive Military Husband

    The Question: Abusive Military Husband 

    I am currently living with my husband overseas in Bumholder, Germany. I have been thinking about it for a while now and decided I need a divorce. My husband is emotionally abusive, he’s thrown used protection [sic]. (not sure if I can say the other word) at my face before, when he left for his last training he only gave me 40 dollars to last a month and a half and I have a child as well and no transportation. He tells me he hates me every day yet he refuses to let me move back home. I feel the only option I have left is to divorce him. I am also worried about him finding out.

    I don’t feel safe living with him and I’ll feel even less safe being here while we are going through a divorce; he has a tendency to sharpen his knifes after we have fought and threaten me, and that scares me to death. I need all the possible information on how to go about getting a divorce. Who should I try to contact. My husband leaves again for training next week and will be gone another month and a half. At this time I’ll most likely have no money again and it’s a short time frame to get this all done. I was just trying to deal with it and hope that something would change but it hasn’t. I don’t even like him being around our daughter who is 7 months old. The only time she’s around him is when I shower, and it makes me so nervous because he is always screaming at her because she won’t stop crying. But it’s just because he has nothing to do with her and she isn’t really familiar with him. I have no idea who I’m supposed to go to or call. Also, if I tell the Military that I feel unsafe living with him while going through a divorce can they help and place me somewhere else until it is finished? I just need all the help I can get, please!

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Abused wife;

    If you are from the United States go to the embassy, I am sure that there is something you can do about getting back to your family while you get a divorce. You can also go to his platoon, being abusive is against any military law. He can get arrested and discharged from the military. I am not sure how far you want to go, this may anger him more, but you need to stand up and fight for yourself and for your daughter it is not safe nor is it healthy to stay in this relationship any longer. What he’s doing is wrong, and you staying with him is not going to help your daughter have a normal and good life. Giving you $40 to last a month is ridiculous. Have you thought about getting a job, the military helps with day care and things like that if you need to get a job to save money. The best bet is to go to his commanding officer (boss) and tell him what is going on, explain that you want to go back to the United States but that he refuses to let you go. If you have family, call them, have them send you money and get your passports and get out of there. Figure out the divorce later, but you need to find yourself a lawyer as soon as possible so that you can file for divorce. No one should have to take abuse (emotional or physical) find a way out and do it as soon as you can. If you have any friends you can trust, maybe you can stay with them for a while, until you can figure out how to get back to the United States. (Again I am assuming you are from the U.S). If you are not from the U.S; then get back to where ever you are from, call a friend or family. If you don’t have friends or family then you will have no other choice but to go to his boss and tell him what is going on. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com (2010)

  • Advice Column: Lost sex drive

    Advice Column: Image found on google.com/images

    The Question: Lost Sex Drive

    We have been dating for a little over 6 months, he’s 19, I’m 17. We both have pretty low-stress life styles, at the moment he is doing a simple course with little study or work content, so I figure it isn’t stress. [sic]. The thing is, we still do sexual things, almost every night, but never actual sex, which bothers me because by “we do sexual things” I mean, I give him a bl0w job, and we go to sleep. The funniest part is that when we first started dating he told me he didn’t like blow jobs and had never ‘blown his load’ during. [sic]. My guess is my ‘skills’ are a drastic improvement upon his other girlfriends, because after a little bit of convincing, he let me give it a go and now it’s all he wants! Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he enjoys it and I have no problem doing it, but a girls gotta [sic] get some every now and again. (at least, I do…) Not to mention it’s making me feel very unattractive, despite all his reassurances. Any similar experiences or advice?

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear not getting any;

    He’s young, he shouldn’t have little sex drive at all, he should be wanting to have sex with you 247. If he’s only wanting you to go down south then you need to stop, and tell him that you want him to go down south on you for a change; or simply state what you want and tell him you want him. If this doesn’t work then I would start wondering if there is something else behind the whole (him not wanting sex and only bl**jobs) He’s also just 19 and we think about things way more then men do, so maybe he just thinks you enjoy going down on him and you aren’t looking for any other type of satisfaction. COMMUNICATION is key in any relationship especially when it comes to sex. Speak up, tell him what you want and that you don’t go down on him for his pleasure only, you need some attention too. Good luck….

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com 2010

  • Advice Column: Sleeping with a married man

    Advice Column. Image found on google.com/images

    The Question: 

    I was sleeping with a married man.  I told his wife, and at first she was super nice with me. Then a few weeks later she turned on me. I forwarded her all the emails, text messages and she was so thankful. Then out of the blue started snapping at me. She now blocked me from everything. Her and her husband deserve each other. I should have never gotten involved in this craziness.

    My Response:

    Dear Other Woman;

    Do not let this bother you so much. You did what you think was right, and you thought she would be grateful that you told her the truth about her husband. You have to understand that maybe she’s grateful in a way for you telling her that her husband was cheating, but at the end of the day when she started reading all the texts, and emails and realizing that her husband betrayed her with another women, and that YOU ARE THE OTHER WOMAN. No matter what, at the end of the day you are that one person that made her world fall apart. I am not sure why you decided to tell his wife about your affair, did you know he was married when you started having a relationship with this man? If you knew he was married, then it was wrong on your part on all levels, (and telling his wife about the two of you was more likely a way to get back at him for him not leaving his wife); if you did not know he was married and it was just as much as a shock to you as it was to his wife that he was cheating, then you did what you thought was right and now you just have to move on. Don’t let her being upset at you get you upset, it’s natural for her to be angry at you, even if you told her the truth about her lying, cheating husband. Move on, and find yourself a real man, one that isn’t married.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com 2010

  • Advice Column: He’s been spying on me


    The Question: He’s been spying on me, checking computer, e-mails, what do I do?

    My e-mail began acting up recently. After about a week, I decided to change my password and create a new account all together. When I changed my password, I found that mail forwarding had been activated. An easy file transfer was set up (so that all of my files/e-mails were sent to a different computer) as well as e-mail to iPhone. I live with my boyfriend. He’s a computer guy and has an iPhone. It had to be him.

    I’m not mad at all, I have NOTHING to hide. But I’m confused. We’re very close, affectionate, spend the majority of our time together. I feel we’re very open with one another and there’s no reason to be suspicious. Plus, he’s the least jealous guy I know. I have no idea why he’d be snooping around. The other night, we got in an argument. Afterward, I came downstairs, was typing on Yahoo Answers for advice. Perhaps maybe he thought I was e-mailing someone, I don’t know.

    I’ve change the password on the account and I am now using a new e-mail. As I said before, I don’t care if he looked because I have no secrets. I’m just concerned he did this behind my back and I am curious as to what he was looking for. I’ve let it go for a few days now. Should I bring it up? If so, how do I confront him?

    My response:

    Dear boyfriend intrusion;

    You definitely need to confront your boyfriend. Trust is one of the biggest issues people have in their relationship and without it, there is nothing to go by. Be honest with your boyfriend about what you found in your email. Remember that even though all fingers are pointing towards your boyfriend he may deny that he had anything to do with that, and you have to make a decision whether to trust him or not and move on from it. If he does admit it was him, explain to him that you have nothing to hide as he can see, but that it hurt that he had to go behind your back to do something like this, when he should have trusted you from the beginning. If he does admit this, you are going to have to trust he won’t do it again and move on from this. This is definitely a violation of trust and of your personal stuff. No person should have to go through the other persons stuff, it’s a violation of privacy. If the other person is curious about something then they should just ask. Good luck and keep me updated.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com (2010)

  • Advice Column: My girlfriend has been abused

    The Question: My girlfriend has been abused, and has fidelity issues how do I help her with them?

    My girlfriend and I have been involved since the beginning of February, so around, 6 weeks now. I realized very early on that there was a potential love and we have now come to acknowledge it (she first) [sic]. She is very bright, beautiful, an excellent lover, and open to new ideas and adventures. Unfortunately, she just got out of an abusive relationship in November where she was violently abused on half a dozen occasions and was cheated on four times. She sought revenge on him and cheated on him three times. After their breakup she whored around with 8 more guys in 2.5 months and used alcohol as an escape. She kept much of the nitty-gritty from me until she knew I wasn’t going to bail the moment she told me. She has agreed to start counseling at the end of the month.What should I do?

    (Edited)

    My response:

    Dear Boyfriend in a rut;

    You are definitely dating someone with a lot of baggage. Although it was good that she was honest with you, you are going to have to be patient and understanding and you are going to have to trust that she won’t go cheating on you due to her insecurities. There really isn’t much you can do but be there for her. Show her that you aren’t one of her ex’s that is going to go cheat on her and you aren’t going to be abusive to her either. You are already helping her by showing her you aren’t that kind of person and by supporting her in her decision to go to counseling. This will be very good for her. Your girlfriend going to counseling is already the first step into her getting better, her realizing that what she was doing to get over her hurt wasn’t the right route to go. You are already helping her by just being there for her and supporting her. Keep it up, it seems to me she has found a good boyfriend. Good luck, keep me updated.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    Please feel free to leave any comments.

    You can find this on Yahoo.com (2010)

  • Advice Column: My girlfriend is married

    Advice Column: Image found on google.com/images

    The Question:

    I am a 24 year old guy and I have girlfriend who is 31 years old, she is married, but we love each other and we are in a relationship. We have been in a relationship for the past 3 years, we share everything (sex) but I’m afraid of what will happen if she leaves far away (to a different state). She is calling me to have sex all the time, should I go or not? When I think about my love for her, I feel that I have to and want to go but when I think about her family I feel that I should stop. What do I do?

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Used;

    First of all, when you started a relationship with this women you knew she was married, so not only is she a cheater but you aren’t any better than she is knowing she is married and has a family. 3 YEARS!?! Wow, I can’t believe a relationship like this would go on for so long, do you realize she is only using you for the sex? This isn’t a relationship at all, you are only a booty call. She calls, you go, you sleep together, you leave and she stays the rest of her day with her family. She isn’t going to leave her husband, and even if she did, what makes you think the two of you would work out and she wouldn’t cheat on you later down the road. Is this the type of relationship you want? You are 24 years old, you are still young, and you have your whole life ahead of you, don’t throw it away on someone you think you love. Have respect for yourself and for her family who she is hurting and move on. Change your number and tell her that you don’t want anything to do with her anymore. Find a real women, a women that wouldn’t cheat on her family with another man, a women who would respect and love you and be with only you. Move on buddy….she’s just not that into you!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com (2010)

  • Advice Column: Should I break up with my gf?

    Advice Column: Image found on google.com/images

    The-Question:

    A couple of weeks ago my girlfriend admitted to me that the day before she cheated on me with another dude. I thought about it and decided to stay with her. Her ex is now telling me that she is having sex with him. On top of this my girlfriend and I are planning on having a baby. Can I have some outside input please?

    My Response:

    Dear Cheated On;

    First mistake was taking her back after finding out she cheated on you once. The ex boyfriend could be lying about sleeping with her now, but is that a chance you want to take? Once a cheater always a cheater, okay so this isn’t the case all the time, but it’s a big percentage that she will cheat again, especially knowing you took her back the first time. Now you are planning to have a baby with your girlfriend, (talking about it?) or she is already pregnant? If she isn’t pregnant, I don’t know why you are planning to have a baby with someone that A.) You aren’t married to & B.) She cheated on you and possibly more than once! If she is pregnant already, I would definitely take a paternity test to make sure the baby is indeed yours, and if it is, that doesn’t mean you need to stay with her. Don’t ever stay in a relationship you aren’t being respected in. She doesn’t respect you, if she did she wouldn’t have cheated on you. Respect yourself and get out of this relationship now before you do have a baby with her and you are stuck with her for the rest of your life. Find a girl that will respect you and love you and NOT cheat on you.

    Good luck.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com (2010)

  • Advice Column: Is my husband overprotective?

    Advice Column. Is my husband overprotective? Image found on google.com/images

    The-Question:

    I think mine is. It’s nice to have someone watch out for you and it shows that he really cares about me but sometimes it gets frustrating. For instance, he doesn’t like the idea of me going to the mall by myself. I know that our mall has a bit of crime and bums hang around and beg for money but even my parents let me go to the mall alone when I was a teenager and I’m 23 now. It’s not that he won’t let me go, he just lets me know how much he doesn’t like the idea and will go with me if he knows I’m going to go. He’s never kept me from doing anything I’ve wanted to do, he just tells me when he disagrees with one of my decisions and says that I don’t see the world for what it is. He says I assume people aren’t going to take advantage of me and that I’m kind of naive about strangers thinking I’m completely safe no matter where I go and I know that’s not true but I guess I have the attitude that “it couldn’t happen to me.” Another example is that when we stop at a store or gas station and he’s just running in to get something and I’m staying in the car, he says, “Keep the doors locked” and he locks them when he gets out. Anyway, my question is, does your husband do this or does he not care at all about what you do or where you go?

    My Response:

    Dear Over-Protective;

    I don’t have a husband, however I do have a boyfriend. I can understand a husband or boyfriend being protective, when you love someone you don’t want anything bad to happen to them. However, there is over protectiveness. Not letting you go to the mall alone and having to always tag along is a bit too much, sometimes we need our space and we need to do the smallest things alone, even if that is just going to the mall. If you don’t live in a safe neighborhood I can understand him being a little more worried about it, but if it’s a good neighborhood then he needs to stop thinking so negative (that every time you step out of the house something can happen to you) if we lived like that we would all drive ourselves crazy. He needs to trust that you are a grown women, you are only 23 but you are married already, you are a grown women and you can take care of yourself. If it makes him feel safe talk to him and explain to him that you will be okay just going to the mall, he needs to not be so protective of you, and if it helps carry one of those mace bottles on your key chain or in your purse. Just because someone isn’t acting like your husband doesn’t mean that person doesn’t care or love the other person some men are more protective than others. As for the locking the doors when he goes into the gas station, that’s completely normal, I think everyone does that, even my mother tells me to lock the doors if she leaves me in the car, and I’m older than you. Talk to your husband and try to explain to him that it’s okay for you to go certain places without him, you’ll be just fine. If this is how it is to just go to the mall, it can get worse for future things, and you don’t want to have that kind of relationship with your husband. He needs to trust you and he needs to trust that you’ll be okay. Always be aware of your surroundings no matter what, and always take your keys out of your purse before you exit the mall or any other store you are in. Being protective of your loved ones is one thing, being over protective and not letting them go anywhere with out them is another. Talk to your husband and nip this in the butt now.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com (2010)