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Tag: advice

  • Advice Column: Sex and Weight

    Sex and Weight - Image found on Flickr.com
    Advice Column: Sex and Weight – Image found on Flickr.com

    The Question:

    Sex and Weight

    My guy is physically fit. I’m not. I fear being on top during sex, its not sexy all the fat. Plus I know I will tire easily. Words of thought?

    My Response:

    Dear On Top;

    If your boyfriend is fit and you are not there are two things you need to think about.

    Number one – If you are unhappy with your body, start working out. It can be an activity that you can do with your boyfriend and you will feel better about yourself. There is nothing wrong with feeling bad about your body, this is normal especially for women. But you have to realize that your boyfriend is with you for a reason and if he loves your body than you need to start learning how to love it to. With that said, there is also great health benefits to working out and eating healthy so look into making a life change to better your life and your confidence.

    Number Two – Be happy with your body and have confidence. Your boyfriend is with you for a reason so he must love the way you look. You don’t have to be on top for the entire time, you can start and roll over to end up on the bottom, or start on the bottom and finish on top. Talk to your boyfriend about how you feel and work things out. Remember having sex is also exercising so look at as killing two birds with one stone.

    xo

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: I feel sick when I see him

    Breaking up is hard to do. Image found on Flickr.com
    Advice Column: I feel sick when I see him. Image found on Flickr.com

    The Question:

    I feel sick when I see him, what do I do?

    I was friends with my ex 5 years (platonic), together for 2. We have had problems and gone back and forth. He came back and I thought I wanted to try again. I feel sick to my stomach and unhappy when I have to see him. The problem is how do I break up with him? It’ s such a loss.

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Feeling Sick;

    Sometimes our feelings change for the better and sometimes like in your case for the worst. It’s normal for this to happen when a relationship is dead. Don’t feel bad to be honest with him. Breaking up with someone is never easy but it’s better to let him go than to pretend to be happy in a relationship that you are no longer happy in. It’s a clear indication that this needs to be done if you are feeling sick to your stomach when you see him. Tell him how you feel – well I wouldn’t tell him you feel sick when you see him that might be a bit too harsh. But tell him you want to see other people and that this just isn’t working out.

    xo

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: Is this normal for a guy?

    Facebook chat. Image found on Flickr.com
    Facebook chat. Image found on Flickr.com

    The Question:

    Is this normal for a guy?

    I have a boyfriend who I’ve been with since 2005, but I’ve been talking to this guy on Facebook for a while now. He’s 30 and I’m 26. He told me that he had a girlfriend and I found her profile on Facebook. I think they are having some problems, he talks to me everyday all day. He even flirts with me sometimes but based on the things I’ve seen on her timeline, I think he’s the player/cheater type. I don’t think they are together anymore and he’s just lying to me about being with her for whatever reason. He stalks me a lot on Facebook and messages me all the time. It seems like he has really had a hard life and he told me that he wanted to be friends with me. Some of the things he says comes off as flirty. He asked me if I have ever heard of a forehead kiss. Saying it’s so relaxing he said; “If a man pulls a woman towards him and he looks her in her eyes, grab her waist, then bite his lip wanting her and if she doesn’t stop him from kissing her after a hug then hey.” He said that he wanted to be friends with me. I’d like to be friends with him too but I don’t know if I can trust him. I do not want to get involved with him physically at all meaning I do not want to sleep with him. I really want to be friends with him but I don’t want him to take advantage of me. Like I want to be there for him and try to be there for him. Am I stupid for feeling this way? I know he’s a player that’s why I don’t want to be his girlfriend I only want to be friends and nothing more.

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Chatter; 

    I’m a bit confused on how you start your question… You have a boyfriend that you have been with since 2005, but you are talking to this guy on Facebook who has a girlfriend? Did I miss anything? First off, if you are emotionally cheating on your boyfriend don’t you think you need to figure out your situation before moving onto a relationship with anyone? It’s okay to have guy friends but looking for someone to talk to when you are already in a relationship is a bit odd. Second if the guy you are talking to has a girlfriend then move on, why are you wasting your time with a guy that is already taken? If he truly wasn’t happy with his girlfriend he would break up with her and try to be with you, but that’s not the case. You say you don’t want anything physical with this guy that you only want to be friends, but the truth is, if he’s flirting with you then more than likely he wants to be more than just friends. I say figure out your relationship first and move on from this guy.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: Proposed with old ring

     

    Old ring. Image found on Flickr.com
    Old ring. Image found on Flickr.com

    The Question:

    I told my almost fiancé – boyfriend what engagement ring I wanted and he said he couldn’t afford it, I thought he was joking but yesterday he tried to propose to me with his great grandmother’s engagement ring and I lost my temper and told him that it needed to be a new ring, and “not someone else’s used junk.” I thought he did it just to annoy me so I declined the proposal and ruined the ring, but when I found out who’s ring it was I felt kind of bad, he cried and now I think I hurt his feelings. What can I do? Now his mom said it was a tradition and now I don’t know what to do. I think he wants to break up with me now. He has hurt me by doing this to me. Help.

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Almost Doesn’t Count;

    I am seriously no longer wondering why guys become a**holes. If a man is telling you he can’t afford something, it is more than likely that he is telling the truth. If you really wanted to marry the guy and you were truly in love with him it wouldn’t matter if he gave you a ring at all. It’s also very romantic that he would want you to use his great grandmother’s ring and in the future you could have always changed the diamond. Of course his feelings are hurt and honestly I wouldn’t blame him if he did break up with you. Would you want to marry someone who turned your proposal down, and not only turned it down but got upset because the ring you were proposing with wasn’t new? It sounds petty and selfish and childish. If you really love him and you want to fix things, then you truly need to think about your actions and truly apologize and mean it when you say it. Good luck.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: I love rough sex but I don’t know why

    Rough Sex. Image found on Flickr.com
    Rough Sex. Image found on Flickr.com

    The Question:

    I love rough sex but I don’t know why. I just love it so much! Shoving up against walls, pulling hair, biting, kissing, spanking mmmm.. I love it so much but I have no idea why. The stinging (pain) gets me even more excited. I just don’t get it, my boyfriend complies but doesn’t get it either. Any women out there who love it too?

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Rough Sex;

    There really isn’t anything to get. Some women and men like it more rough than others and some don’t like it at all. This doesn’t mean there is anything wrong, it’s just how you like it and it’s what turns you on. If your boyfriend is willing to comply and he doesn’t mind having rough sex with you then I wouldn’t worry so much about how you feel and enjoy it.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

    Question found on Yahoo.com

     

  • Advice Column: How can I stop this old man from marrying my sister?

    She gets the guy. Image found on flickr.com
    She gets the guy. Image found on flickr.com

    The Question:

    How can I stop this old man from marrying my sister?

    My sister just turned 19 when her and I went to a club. I am 32. 31 at the time we went. I saw this guy who was my age there and tried to get him to dance. Instead we just talked. As I came back from the ladies room I saw my sister chatting it up with him and they were smiling then dancing. He is my age. Wth. 

    My sister works as an aerobics instructor and gets passes from guys her age all the time. This man works as an artist and personal trainer and is not rich. A virgin too from what I heard. He is like a kid in a comic shop. But a big body builder guy while my young sister is a petite girl. 

    Now they are getting married and living together in his apartment. He lives in an apartment when someone his age should have a house at least. 

    I just got out of a marriage and I am looking. Where have all the good men gone?

    My Response:

    Dear Older Sister;

    Your sister is a grown women. I understand that he is 13 years older than her but that doesn’t have anything to do with you. Even if you don’t agree with the situation, there is nothing you can do. Just because the man doesn’t own a house doesn’t mean he won’t be a good provider or husband. There are many men who are older that don’t own a house.

    This sounds like you are trying to come up with excuses because you may be a bit jealous that he chose your sister instead of you. Have you tried talking to your sister? Talk to her and tell her how you feel. If the guy is a virgin then maybe he’s religious or waiting for the right person to come along. Is it strange? Yes, it is especially since he’s a personal trainer, but we don’t know the true reasons behind him still being a virgin. (If this is true.) Talk to your sister and tell her how you feel, but remember she’s a grown women and she can make her own decisions. You may have to accept this new found marriage.

    It sounds like you need to get out there on your own. Just because this guy ended up with your sister doesn’t mean that all the good men are gone. Besides, you just said he’s a virgin… do you really want a guy who is still a virgin at your age? Find a real man and move on. But remember your sister will always be your sister.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

    Question found on Yahoo.com

  • Advice: How do I get over a 6 year relationship?

    Advice: How do I get over a 6 year relationship?

    Advice: How do I get over a 6 year relationship? Image found on Flickr.com
    Image found on Flickr.com

    Question:

    How do I get over a long term relationship (6 years) break up with kids?

    My ex and I broke up 2 weeks ago, the first week was hard. We share the kids 50/50 and are still friends. I see her almost everyday because of the kids. She broke it off saying she doesn’t think we are right for each other and its kind of hard at times. But other times I think I’ve gotten over her. But you know its still hard, is there a way I can make this easier??
    I know about that whole going out, working on me, and stuff but I still think about it at times. Like is she thinking of the good times?Any good tips?
    (Revised)

    Answers:

    Dear 6 year relationship,

    Six years is a long time and you have kids together. The good thing is that you are still friends and you are doing this the right way for your kids. There really isn’t any good tips about getting over a relationship. Especially when you have children together and you have to see her almost every day.

    Any relationship that ends is going to be hard. Time is the only thing that will help. I know it sounds cliche but it’s true. Just try to stay busy. I am not saying that it will stop you from thinking about her but it will definitely help. If you aren’t ready for a new relationship that’s okay. You can start dating and getting to know other people with no strings attached. Hang out with your friends, go to the gym, just get out of the house. The more you sit around the more you will be thinking about her. It’s going to be hard and it is going to take time. You have kids together so you have to see her and that isn’t going to be easy. Try not to think about what she is thinking, if she’s the one who ended then more than likely she isn’t thinking about “the good times.” Trust me, time heals all wounds.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    Question found on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Advice: Was it my fault it ended?

     

    Image found on Flickr.com
    Image found on Flickr.com

    Question:

    Was it my fault it ended?

    On a summer holiday, I seen [sic] a girl from the hotel who found me on a social media site, despite not talking to each other. We’re both college students (I’m a year older). We have spoken to each other almost every day for 5 months via text message & skype. She’s smart, nice, cute, and she feels special to me.

    We were very close for those 5 months. Everything was brilliant. Talking almost every day, skyped each other, she used to laugh smile and say I was special to her. It was so nice. I asked to meet up but she wanted to wait until Summer so I waited patiently, as she wanted more time. I helped her feel better when she was down about her mock exam results and spoke to her on holiday so she didn’t miss me. We discussed meeting up soon, she lives 3 hours away. I brought it up again a few weeks later which I regret, seemed needy.

    She has said I trust her and she trusts me but I asked to call her, she was busy. A week later without talking, she texts: “I’ll have to be blunt saying this but I want to end it. It was nice to know you. I struggle with distance, couldn’t cope going further… hope to continue still being friends!” – She hasn’t spoken to me for a month.

    She seemed a little emotionally immature at times but she betrayed me and I felt incredibly hurt and sad. She did it out of nowhere and doesn’t appreciate what I did for her. I feel like a back up & I’ve already been going through a very tough situation in my personal life. Was it my fault?(Revised)

    Answer:

    Dear No Fault,

    It was definitely not your fault. You actually tried to see her and she kept putting it off. I can’t give excuses as to why she did what she did but it definitely wasn’t cool. I would tell her how I feel, be ‘blunt’ right back at her. If this is how she treats her “friends” then I would say move on. Try not to take it personal as you don’t know her reasons behind why she did what she did. Move on and find a girl that’s in your own home town. Long distance relationships of any kind are hard to deal with anyway.

    xo.

    kristin nicole

    Question found on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Advice: Is this considered cheating?

    Image found on Flickr.com
    Image found on Flickr.com

    Question:

    Is this considered cheating?
    I am in a relationship, my boyfriend and I have only been together for a month, but we had been seeing each other for a few months before we got together. I really do care about him. I have this guy friend though who is bisexual and really crazy and funny, and we are really close, I love to spend time with him, but when me and my boyfriend got together, he told me he didn’t like me hanging out with my best friend and that he doesn’t trust him. So I have been hanging out with my friend and keeping it from him, I go out to clubs with him and go over to his apartment sometimes. We don’t do anything though, we are just best friends, even though we have made out lots of times in the past before I got with my boyfriend. Is spending time with him behind my boyfriend’s back considered cheating?
    Answer:
    Dear Hiding behind your BF’s back,

    It’s definitely not cheating, but it isn’t right to go behind your boyfriends back. That being said, it also isn’t right for your boyfriend to tell you who to be friends and who not to be friends with. If you were friends with this guy before you were with your boyfriend then he needs to accept it and be okay with it. Trust is very important in any relationship. Be honest with your boyfriend and tell him how you feel. If he really cares for you he will trust and understand where you are coming from. Have you tried to hang out with your boyfriend and best friend together? Maybe if he sees your best friend isn’t a bad guy he will be okay with you hanging out with him. Good luck.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    Question found on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Advice: How do I ask a girl for her number?

    Photo found on: Flickr.com
    Photo found on: Flickr.com

    Question:

    How do I ask a girl for her number? We are both in high school, I’m not sure if she likes me. She smiles if I talk to her and I make her laugh.

    Answer:

    Dear Number,

    If you have already spoken to her and she’s your friend then don’t be shy. Just casually ask her for her number. If you can’t come up with the courage to ask come up with a reason. Do you have any classes together? Maybe ask to get together to study. Or get a few of your guy friends to get together and tell her you guys are hanging out this weekend and if she wants to join with any of her friends, then ask for her number. Don’t be shy, worse case she says no. But if she’s smiling at what you say and you guys are friends there is no big reason she would turn you down. Good luck.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    Question found on Answers.Yahoo.com