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Tag: advice

  • Hello and Goodbye

    Hello & Goodbye – Photo by: google.com/images

    I found a picture on line that had a great verse about hello and goodbye, I thought I would put together a poem. Tell me what you think.

    Hello and Goodbye

    Hello to the new me
    Goodbye to what you made me be
    Hello to my new life
    Without you by my side

    Hello to freedom
    Goodbye to the tie down
    Hello starting over
    Where have you been?
    Goodbye person I once knew within.

    Hello and Goodbye
    To what I once knew
    Hello new beginnings
    Goodbye now I’m through

    Hello’s give you hope
    Goodbyes kill your dreams
    It’s never easy finding the in between.
    Once I say goodbye
    Forget who I am
    Forget that I knew you
    Forget that I ever believed in you
    My hello was lived short
    But my goodbye will live forever

    Hello new life
    Goodbye the tears that came at night
    Hello hope
    Goodbye old life.

    © Written by: kristin nicole May 2012

  • My boyfriend cheated on me, should I stay?

    Stay or Go – Picture by: Google.com/images

    The Question:

    Dear kristin nicole;

    My boyfriend cheated on me and I don’t know if to stay with him or leave him. He say’s he is sorry and it will never happen again, but I don’t know if to trust him anymore.

    My Response:

    Dear cheated on;

    You shouldn’t stay in a relationship where the man does not respect you. A person who cheats on another person does not respect them or care enough to stop what they are doing before doing it. At the end of the day you have to ask yourself, if he is worth sticking around with, or if there is someone else out there who won’t hurt you the way he just did? Be strong, and remember that there is always better, and no person should have to be in a relationship where there is no trust. Trust is key to any relationship.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • I had a dream with you the other day

    Dreams – Photo Found on google.com/images

    I had a dream with you the other day

    You wrapped me in your arms and said everything would be okay

    I looked into your eyes and you changed into someone new

    Now I’m feeling lost and so confused.

    You left me without a word, you didn’t say goodbye

    You left me in tears and I didn’t know why

    I loved you for reasons unsaid

    And from one moment to the next you left me for her bed.

    Another person in my life, you come and go as you please

    You don’t say a single word; you just look at me and tease

    But a part of me is happy and a part of me is sad because when,

    I looked into your eyes you changed into someone new

    Now I’m feeling lost and so confused.

    You were someone when I met you

    Then you changed into someone else

    This new you isn’t the person I fell for

    You changed for the worse, you’re lost and incomplete

    The heartache would have been faster if you would have let me be

    But you dragged my heart out; you held it in your hands

    You played with it and let it go, leaving me bewildered and alone

    I looked into your eyes as you changed into someone new

    Now I’m feeling lost and so confused.

    I hide from my shadow trying to cover the pain

    Trying to imagine a world where everything is sane.

    Then one day I found you

    I turned to you and everything felt right

    I see what I was missing

    Someone to make me feel alright

    Someone to make all the worries go away

    Someone to love me in all the right ways.

    When I look into your eyes it’s just you and me

    The person I want to be with

    The person who holds my heart

    The person who makes everything feel better when I’m falling apart

    © Written by: kristin nicole – April 2012

  • Moral Code

    Moral Code

    There are many reasons why people should live by a moral code. Moral is defined as concerned with the principles of right and wrong behavior and the goodness or badness of human character. As humans we are tempted with good and evil all the time, it is our up bringing and our morals that help us decide whether or not our decisions are for the good or bad. It is natural to sometimes want something we cannot have nor do something in which we have been restricted to do, it is in what we believe in that we choose the right or wrong paths.
    Dr. Kent M. Keith wrote a book about moral and ethic codes. He believed these codes are what we should follow in order to be good. Dr. Keith started with the Do No Harm list. The list consisted of ‘Do not do to others what you would not like them to do to you.’ This saying has been around for year perhaps centuries. I believe this to be true. I believe in Karma and what you do to others can easily come back to you. If we would not like someone to do something to us it is not right to do it to someone else in return. More on the list was, do not lie, do not steal, do not cheat, do not murder etc. The other list was named ‘Do Good’, and this list consisted of, do to others what you would like them to do to you, be honest and fair, be generous, be faithful to your family and friends etc. (Kent M. Keith 2003, 2006).

    There are many moral codes in which we should follow, it does not mean that if you don’t follow them, you are evil or bad, it’s a choice and we all have to make choices in life. Personally I think we grow up learning right from wrong, but some people are not so lucky. Some people grow up thinking, that stealing is the only way to survive in the world, that selling drugs can help put food on the table. If we grow up not truly knowing right from wrong, it is our teachers and our education that should point us in the right direction.

    In life we learn right from wrong and our parents teach us how to respect ourselves, love ourselves and love others in return. We need to learn to respect ourselves and others and love ourselves and others. There are many people who do not learn to respect themselves. If we believe we are garbage we live with garbage, if we believe that we do not deserve love we will not find love. Our thoughts into the universe are so important and we need to learn how to respect and love ourselves. Children are very vulnerable and if they believe that they do not have love and respecting others is not the way to live, they will follow the wrong path.

    It is important to love ourselves and know that we deserve only the best and respect from others in return. As we get older we enter into relationships, and some people enter relationships that can become abusive. If we learn to love and respect ourselves when we see that someone is not loving us or respecting us we will know that it is no good and we will know that we deserve so much better, this will help you find the strength inside yourself to leave the relationship in which is bad for you. If we do not learn to love and respect ourselves you may think that you do not deserve better, and you can fall into an abusive relationship that can lead a life of sadness and misery.
    Everyone lives by a different moral code, codes that we design or a code by which god has given us. It is up to us to believe in what is moral and to believe in the righteous path in which we are supposed to live. Life is hard and it comes with many obstacles in which we need to take, it is only our moral codes that can guide us in the right direction.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    References
    Clark, K., & Poortenga, A. (2003). The story of ethics: Fulfilling our human nature
    The Ten Commandements Bible list – What are the Ten Commandments? (n.a) – Retrived April 30, 2011 from http://www.the-ten-commandments.org/the-ten-commandments.html
    The Universal Moral (2003,2006)) – Retrieved April 30, 2011 from http://www.universalmoralcode.com/

  • You’re my kind of Perfect

    Hello – Anyone out there reading my posts? Sadly no one entered a poem to be featured in today’s post, so I guess I will have to put one of my OLDER Poems…… I wrote this and tweaked it a little to sound a little better. If you are reading… Let me know what you think.

    Random Thoughts…

    Have you ever just realized that the person you are with isn’t perfect, but with all the flaws and all the differences you have you know deep down that this person is for you, that He or She is your kind of Perfect? I grew up and realized that no one is perfect, but that is what makes us all unique, and in the end there is always that one person who fits perfectly together with you. This was dedicated to my boyfriend…

    You’re my kind of Perfect

    When I found you I didn’t know you would be the one
    When you found me we were just having fun
    Then out of nowhere we fell in love.

    I never thought you were perfect but to me you shine that light
    When I’m in the dark you make everything alright.
    When we kissed I felt the summer breeze.
    When our eyes met I knew deep down that now I can finally breathe.

    When I met you I was lost,
    I didn’t think love really existed,
    But I opened up my heart to you,
    I let you see the me no one sees,
    And when you looked at me I knew
    I had to let you in my world,
    Because without you, I just wouldn’t be me.

    Through the years you’ve been my strength
    My best friend through it all
    And even though we aren’t perfect
    You’re my kind of Perfect
    You’re my kind of Love…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    © Written By: kristin nicole June 2, 2011 Edited: March 2,2012

  • Marriage before Sex

    Marriage before Sex

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I knew someone for a short time , but I’m into him as well as he is into me. I like him so much but I’m a very religious person and I asked him if he has had sex before, he said yes, and this is a big issue for me and I don’t like it.

    I respect the fact that he was very honest with me and that he started to get close to my religion in the short time we have known each other, but I’m afraid for the following issues:

    First, he was having sex not making love, by this I mean he was not in a relationship, he just had sex with those girls, without actually loving them. He did it with these girls, girls that will just have sex with any man, and I don’t like this mentality. I can’t accept it easily!

    Second, I’m afraid that I’ve never done it before, so I may not be as good as those girls he slept with before. He might miss these previous relationships after our marriage.

    The third issue, is that my breast are very small, he may not like it and as you know I will not make love to him before we get married. (This is according to my religion). So I’m afraid that he won’t like it.

    What do you think about these issues? I’ll speak to him about it but I need your opinion first .. & .. thank you in advance Kristin
    (Revised by: Kristin Nicole)

    ~ Marriage before Sex

    My Response:

    Dear Marriage before Sex;

    I understand that in your religion you have to wait to be married before having sex, if you are thinking of being with someone that does not have those same beliefs you need to accept their past. Just because he slept with other women before you does not mean that he will think differently of you. You need to be happy with who you are and what you have, don’t worry about having small breast or the fact that you have not had sex. If he is with you then he already finds you attractive. You do need to make sure that he understands your beliefs and that you are not going to have sex with him unless you are married. If he is okay with that and really cares for you then the rest will go from there. You can not judge someone for their actions and their beliefs because they are different than yours, if he is a good man and he treats you right, then you need to leave his past in the past. If you feel that you cannot get over the fact that he has slept with other women then you need to really think about being with him, because you do not want to hold that against him. It is very natural now a days for a man and a woman to have sex and not make love, it doesn’t make it right or wrong but it happens. You have to look past that if you want to have a relationship with him, and he will need to respect you for your beliefs as well. Remember to always love yourself, don’t feel insecure about your body, we are born with what we have for a reason and the person we are with will love us for who we are and how we look.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • 5 Romantic Proposal Ideas

    Love You

    5 Romantic Proposal Ideas

    When you finally feel in your heart that the person you are with is the person you want to share the rest of your life with, it’s important to make that one lasting memory of proposing to her last a life time…

    Here are five romantic ideas on how to propose to your girlfriend:

    5. Vacation Getaway – Take a romantic vacation getaway, either to a remote location, big city or a place you both like to travel to often. Most places will accommodate you if you ask them to. For example; if you are going to a remote location like a private beach, ask the hotel if you can light some candles down the pathway to where you want to propose, maybe have some flowers and champagne waiting for you at the end of the walk way. You can also set up something nice in the hotel room (get a nice view so that it makes it all the more beautiful). In a big city, you can pick any beautiful area in the city to propose to and if you go to a place you normally travel to it will definitely be unexpected, try to find a spot that you can always go back to.

    4. Beach / Lake View – If you live near the beach, sunset is the best time to propose… well that’s my opinion but picture it – Sunset, flowers, and proposal – WOW. If you don’t live near a beach you can propose by a beautiful Lake setting, anything near the water is absolutely beautiful and breathtaking.

    3. Park or Historic Area – If you have beautiful parks in your area, you can go on a walking trail, try to have someone help you set up a setting so when you reach the trail it’s set up for a surprise. If you go to a historic area, I’m sure they will help you out and you can whisk your girlfriend away to a memory she’ll never forget.

    2. Family and Friend Setting – If your girlfriend likes the attention and you are absolutely sure she is going to say yes, then surprise her in front of her family and friends. She will love the surprise and the attention.

    1. Intimate Private Moment – Home settings can be just as romantic. If you cannot afford to go on a vacation or go somewhere special your girlfriend is not going to care, the most important part is that you try to make it as romantic as possible. You can set candles up all over your house, add some nice music, champagne and you. There is nothing more romantic than a private setting.

    There are millions of ways you can propose to your girlfriend, and at the end of the day even the not so planned proposals are romantic in their own way. The most important thing to remember is that you love each other, in the end nothing else matters.

    Happy engagement….

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Dream.Love.Believe.Hope

    Dream.Love.Believe.Hope

    Dreams

    Sometimes we aim for a dream and it comes true, other times we aim and miss. I wanted this DREAM to come true so bad, I wanted it to come alive, for all my hard work to finally pay off. Then the news….. “Sorry we decided to go with someone else.” Life doesn’t teach you how to take rejection, it doesn’t teach you what to do next, or what to feel, or what to do. You take the tears and the pain and you keep moving forward.

    In life we wish for the things we want for ourselves and our family, we dream big and we hope that one day, everything will fall into place. When we are hit with the disappointment of seeing our dreams come crashing down, we are filled with a pain so hard that we sometimes forget how to push that pain away to the side and keep pushing forward. We forget what it is to believe in HOPE. No one ever tells you how hard it is to be rejected, no one ever shows you what to do next. In life, we just do it, we just keep moving forward and we hope that one day, that dream will come true.

    I’ll admit, I was crushed, I felt like I had it on the tip of my fingers, I had this faith inside me that my dream was finally coming true, only to hear those horrible words “Sorry & But”. Yes I cried, yes I felt sorry for myself and yes I almost wanted to just give up. But if I gave up, then what good will that be? I love to write, I love to help people with their problems and I’m not going to give up on myself just because someone else doesn’t believe in me. One day I’ll be everything I’ve ever dreamed of and more. I have people who believe in me and most importantly I believe in me.

    When you start to lose faith in yourself, remember that where ever there is a storm of self-pity, there is always a rainbow shinning bright on the other side. Dream.Love.Believe.Hope

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • We bought a house but I’m not In Love Anymore…

    I'm not in Love Anymore…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I’m 27. I’ve been with my girlfriend for a little over 3 years and we recently bought a house together, last year in fact. I feel like I don’t really love her anymore. not in that way at least. she’s a great person but she’s more like a best friend then my girlfriend. we don’t really have an intimate relationship. when I met her she was a virgin so nothing really happened for a while which is fine with me. but I think because we waited so long it killed those types of feelings for me. I tried to fight through it but it didn’t work and now I’m stuck in this position. I know life is short and I shouldn’t waste my time or hers if I’m not happy, I just don’t know how to go about it. thank you so much for listening I really do appreciate it.

    ~ Confused

    My Response:

    Dear Confused;

    I don’t have to tell you that it would have been wise to really think about buying a home with someone if you were already feeling that you didn’t love her anymore. What’s done is done, now you have to think about the options you have to take. You are still young, don’t settle just because you just bought a house with your girlfriend, if you aren’t in love, you aren’t in love, and it isn’t fair to yourself or her you keep living a lie. The worst thing that can happen is that you lose your home and go into foreclosure, your credit gets messed up for a few years and you rebuild it. But let’s try to avoid that…. First you need to sit down with your girlfriend and really try to explain to her that you don’t want to hurt her but you are just not in love with her anymore. At the end of the day, those words are going to sting right through her. I’m not going to lie, it’s going to hurt her but at the end of the day it’s for the best. After talking to her you need to figure out what you want to do with the house. Did you go into the house 50/50 or did you buy the house alone? If you bought the house alone, then you have the rights to the house and you need to let her know that she needs to move out. Give her a deadline because if you don’t, sometimes the person will try to linger in order to rekindle the relationship. If you went into the house 50/50 you have two choices, either you buy her out or she buys you out in order to keep the house, or you try to sell it. Since the economy still isn’t doing too good and you just bought the house you might not be able to sell it, or if you do you might have to take the lose and move on. If you don’t want to sell, which I recommend you don’t, and hold on to the house until you can make some money off of it, then you can rent it out where the rent can cover the mortgage and taxes etc, so that neither of you really have to worry about paying for the house. I would definitely put away at least two to three months just in case you can’t rent it out. I know this is a lot to handle on top of breaking up but it’s something you need to think about. Be honest with yourself and your girlfriend and tell her how you feel. It is better to do things now then later down the road…..
    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • 5 ways to communicate better

    Communication is Key

    Relationships can be difficult. They can include a boyfriend and girlfriend, husband and wife, friendship or even a relationship between you and a family member. No one ever said relationships were easy, so how do we try to fix a relationship we feel is irresolvable? The number one rule to having a healthy relationship is simple but you have to be willing to meet the person half way. Are you ready to hear what it is? Communication! That’s right; it’s something we learn from when we were born. We learn to talk and ask our parents for things that we want; this is the first step into communicating your feelings. After that it should be a breeze, right? Many people do not know how to communicate properly, either they don’t know how to speak to others without being rude, they might be too shy to speak, or they might feel scared to tell the person they love how they really feel.

    Have you ever tried telling someone how you feel, only to find yourself speechless? This is normal, many people have felt this way and sometimes not saying anything at all, is worse than actually coming out with how you feel. If you don’t talk about your feelings, it is only going to eat away at you, and eventually it will only lead into an outburst of frustration, which will later lead into a fight. There are all types of ways to communicate your feelings; I have listed the top five ways I found it easier for me to communicate.

    Five ways to communicate your feelings:

    5. Write a letter or a note. – Don’t email the person or text; this is a little more impersonal. Give the letter to the person face to face so that they can read it in front of you, you can then later discuss what you are feeling, but the letter will at least break the ice with bringing out what you have been feeling inside. Trust me this works (this is actually how I started communicating better; it gave me the courage to really say what I felt on paper.)

    4. Choose the right time and place. – Sometimes we are scared the person we are talking to might retaliate and start screaming or acting a little crazy, so choose the right time and place to talk about your feelings. Don’t ever try talking to someone when they are having a bad day, they aren’t in their right state of mind and this may through them off, they might not understand where you are coming from because they are focused on their own problems at the moment. So make sure to choose the right time to talk. Choosing the right place can be essential too, if you want to make sure to keep things quiet, pick a place to talk where they can‘t get too loud with you. This will help keep both emotions inside and talk like two normal people.

    3. Think before you speak. – Sometimes we want to talk about how we feel right there in the moment, but this may lead into fighting, because we might just say things we really don’t mean. In the heat of the moment we are all guilty of saying things we don’t really mean, or we do mean them, but it’s just not the right way to say it. Before talking to someone, try going over in your head what you want to say, cool off a bit and then sit down calmly to talk about what you are feeling.

    2. Listen to the other person. – Sometimes we are scared to open up when the other person is talking to us. Listen to what that person has to say, if they are talking to you openly and telling you how they feel then push away the fear of talking back, take a deep breath and answer them back. More than likely it was just as hard for them to tell you how they felt, so don’t be scared to return the favor.

    1. Stop being scared about what the other person may be thinking and DO YOU. – What do I mean by ‘DO YOU’, well at the end of the day the only person who is going to be there for you, is YOU. Stop being scared to open up and tell the person how you feel. The worse thing that can happen is that it leads into an argument, but so what. We sometimes have to argue in order to figure out a way to fix things. If we never argued in the world, then life would be too boring.

    We can change the world with total communication ~Sharon Sullivan

    When communicating to someone how you feels starts to stress you out, stop and breath a for a second and remember that communicating is the only way to fix what you are feeling inside.

    xo,
    kristin nicole