Just another WordPress site

Tag: affair

  • Advice Column: Husband wants to be a swinger

    Advice Column: Husband wants to be a swinger. Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: Husband wants to be a swinger

    Dear Kristin Nicole

    My husband asked me the other day if I was willing to go to a swingers club with him. I don’t know what to think of this. We have been married for only 2 years. Is he bored of me already that he wants to sleep with other people? I asked him why he would want to go to a swingers club and he said he just wanted to spice things up for us. I thought we had pretty good sex, so I am not sure what I can do. I don’t feel comfortable sleeping with other people or my husband sleeping with other people but I’m scared that if I don’t go he will cheat on me and leave me. Do I go so that I don’t lose him? Or do I tell him no, and hope he doesn’t leave me.
    ~Swinger

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Swinger;

    If you want my personal opinion then I would say NO…. I don’t think that in a marriage people should sleep with other people. If you are married, you should be committed and happy to be with just that one person. How long have you known your husband? Has he always been a little freaky or ever indicated that he wanted to be a swinger? If this is something new that he suddenly brought up then you need to really sit down with your husband and tell him how you feel. If he is willing to end your marriage just because you don’t believe swinging is the answer to better sex, then maybe you need to truly think about what kind of man you married. Do you want to be with a man that wants to sleep with other women and that is willing for his wife to sleep with other men? Tell your husband that you are willing to try other things in the bedroom and spice it up in other ways but if you don’t feel comfortable going to a swingers club then you need to speak up. Giving in and going just because your husband wants to might end up badly in the end. You may end up resenting him for making you go. Go with your gut feeling and talk to your husband. If he loves you I am sure he will be okay with whatever decision you make.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    (2011)

  • Advice Column: Affair with a married man

    Advice Column: Affair with a married man – Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: Affair with a married man

    I’m a 17 year old girl, who recently started talking to a 23 year old guy from across the country. He told me straight up that he has two baby boys, which didn’t bother me because we weren’t anything serious. Well we texted all the time and talked on the phone, but when he oddly kept refusing to add me on Facebook I demanded to know why. He admitted to being in a loveless, miserable marriage. They’ve been married for four years and he’s slept with a few other women. He suspects her of cheating on him while he was stationed in Korea and doesn’t think that his oldest son is really his. I’m a very understanding person and continued talking to him despite his personal life. But now it’s at the point where he says he has too big of a heart to leave his wife and kids, and I don’t know what to do. I like him but knowing he sits out in his car every night after work to call me while his wife is inside sleeping just doesn’t feel right. It’s too much! He’s an amazing guy and although I don’t think what he’s doing is right, I also feel like I shouldn’t play along. It just kills me because I know how unhappy and utterly miserable he is with her. What should I do?
    ~17

    My Response:

    Dear 17;

    I think you already know the answer to your question and you just need for someone else to confirm what you have already been thinking and feeling. You stated; “and though I don’t think what he’s doing is right, I also feel like I shouldn’t play along.” Do you need any other answer besides that one? The guy can’t be too good of a guy if he’s cheating on his wife constantly and lying to her. He doesn’t live close to you and all you have is a phone relationship. You are much too young to be worrying about a guy with so many problems. You need to be having fun and start dating guys more your age. Enjoy your life and stop worrying about a guy who is cheating on his wife and his family with other women and sneaking off at night to talk to you. Close the door to this relationship and move on.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com (2011)

  • Advice Column: Cheated on several times

    Advice Column: Cheated on several times. Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: Cheated on several times

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I found out my boyfriend cheated on me while we were in a long distance relationship. He finally moved to my home town but I found out that while he was gone he slept with other women. He recently had to go back home to take care of some family business and while he was gone I hooked up with a friend of mine. I love my boyfriend but a part of me can’t get over the fact that he cheated on me. I know two wrongs don’t make a right but I felt hurt and betrayed and sleeping with my friend almost made me feel better. I don’t know if I should come clean or tell my boyfriend. I don’t know if I can ever trust my boyfriend again and I am still so angry with him. The friend I slept with has been trying to get with me and he tells me all the time how my boyfriend is a loser and how I deserve better. I am a little confused now. Should I stay with my boyfriend or leave him and try to see if my friendship with this guy can be more than just friends?

    Sincerely,
    Confused~

    My Response:

    Dear Confused;

    Let’s start off with the fact that your boyfriend cheated on you while you were in a long distance relationship. As soon as you found this out, you should have hit the highway. Do you want to be with a man who has cheated on you with not one but several other women? Second, you are right, two wrongs don’t make a right, and although I can see why you sought comfort in someone who is always telling you that you deserve better, you don’t want your friend to be a rebound guy. If you feel you can’t trust your boyfriend then end things. Send him packing back to where he came from. Take time for you and try to stay friends with your guy friend and go from there. If it’s meant to be, things will work out, if not you will hopefully still have a friend after all this. Don’t ever think you need to stay with someone who has cheated on you. You deserve better. Go find yourself a real man!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    (2011)

  • Advice Column: My husband’s cheated

    Advice Column: My husband’s cheated. Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: My husband’s cheated…

    The Question:

    I’m getting confused about my husband…

    My husband has started being secretive about things, hiding passwords and such. I recently was able to see his Facebook page and my thoughts were true, [sic] he’s on there chatting with other women and giving his number out. When I confronted him with this, he took me off his friends page so I couldn’t even see what he is doing. He cheated once before so the trust isn’t strong between us. Also a young girl that really isn’t my friend told me she has been friends with him and that he is willing to be more than friends. He is asking for her number and has yet to come out and say he is married. I’m getting to the point where I don’t want him around and I have to be almost drunk to have sex with him because its hard to want someone who clearly doesn’t want you. I’m going into a state of depression and I know it wont be good for my kids to see me like this. I have asked him to leave many time but he claims he wont because there is nothing wrong with flirting. What do I do?

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Open Your Eyes;

    Let’s start with the fact that the trust is already gone because he has already cheated on you once. That should have been the first sign to get out! If your husband took you off his friends list on his Facebook, I would definitely think something is going on. You already saw his Facebook and got proof that he is talking to other women and giving his number out (although there is no proof that he has physically cheated on you, this is still a form of emotional cheating), you also said that another woman told you that he would be more than friends with her and you were never even mentioned as his wife. What more do you want?

    Do you need to actually catch him cheating on you again, to finally realize that this guy is a looser and that he really does not love you? I’m sorry and I don’t mean to be harsh, but you need to wake up and realize that you can do so much better then this guy. You said it yourself “I have to be almost drunk to have sex with him because it’s hard to want someone who clearly doesn’t want you.” You already know what you need to do and although you said he won’t leave even after you asked him, you need to tell him that this ISN’T HIS CHOICE to make.

    He needs to get out of your house, or you will leave somewhere else with the kids. I don’t know if you have family or friends that you can talk to, but if you do you need to see if you can stay with them. Tell him you want his stuff out of the house by a certain date and you will not return until it is done. You have kids with this man, and it is not good to be depressed and for them to see what their father is doing to you. He needs to grow up and commit. He obviously was not ready for that the first time he cheated on you. And like I said earlier that should have been a clear sign to get out! I know it’s easier said than done but you need to get him out of your home and you need to pull your life back together with your kids. Stay strong and remember that no man should ever treat a woman the way your husband has treated you. There is no excuse to cheat or take you off his Facebook or lie to your face about talking to other women. If he’s lying to your face about something you saw with your own eyes this should make you wonder, what else he is lying about. Stay strong and move on with your life. You deserve a real man to love you and be with you. Good luck!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I don’t like it when my GF sleeps with her husband…

    The Question:

    How can I gently tell my Girlfriend that I don’t like it when she sleeps with her husband? She did it twice last week and I’m beginning to feel like she’s just using me. HELP
    ~Feeling Used

    My Response:

    Dear Feeling Used;

    Let’s start off with what is wrong with this question….. “I don’t like it when she sleeps with her HUSBAND”….. HUSBAND….. Husband and did I mention HUSBAND? She is married, of course she is going to sleep with her husband, she is having an affair with you and she hasn’t left her husband yet, that should be a clear sign to get out. Well the first sign was the fact that she was MARRIED. The second sign is that she hasn’t left him for you and she is still sleeping with him. Find a woman that isn’t married, a woman that you can be with without hiding it from people, and a woman that will want to be with you and only you. Good luck

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Ex Fiance…Lost house…What’s Next?

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    Everything in my life lately seems to be going downhill. I broke up with my fiance, I lost my house, and now I’m trying to find my own place. Everywhere I look I get shot down or something is wrong. I just feel like nothing is going my way lately. My ex called and he wants to talk, the reason we broke up was because he was cheating on me. I am thinking of taking him back and maybe things will start getting better. What do you think?

    ~Bad luck

    My Response:

    Dear Bad luck;

    Getting back with your ex isn’t going to solve your problems. He is your ex for a reason, and he cheated on you, there is no justification on getting back with him. You need to start thinking positive and you need to move on with your life. Maybe have a girls night out to clear your mind, or take some Yoga classes or even better, kick boxing to get all the frustration piled up out on the punching bag. Get yourself together and find a real man who won’t cheat on you, a nice apartment you’ll be happy in and you will soon see that everything will come together.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • My boyfriend cheated on me with another Man…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    My boyfriend and I were together for 3 years and I just found out that last summer he slept with another man. He says he is not homosexual or bisexual that he was drunk and it just happened that one time, but I don’t know what to believe. How drunk can you be to not only cheat, but to cheat with a man? (the same sex). I’m so confused right now, I love him but I feel not only betrayed and lied to, but I feel like he isn’t telling himself the truth. What if he really is homosexual? Do I break up with him or do I believe him and forgive him?

    ~Same Sex

    My Response:

    Dear Same Sex;

    I think there are definitely some unresolved emotions that your boyfriend might be trying to hide. Let’s start with the fact he cheated on you and leave out the part that it was with another man. He Cheated on YOU! Enough said….At the end of the day, drunk or not he cheated on you. You were in a relationship for two years and he has lied about it for the past year. How do you know this was the only time he cheated on you let alone with another man? Now going back to the fact that not only did he cheat on you, but he cheated on you with another man is just confusing in itself. If he doesn’t understand it, then don’t beat yourself up trying to understand it yourself. He is obviously confused or hiding feelings of homosexuality that he doesn’t want to share. Some may say, it was just a one time fling and he was really drunk, but others may say he is homosexual or bisexual and he just doesn’t know how to come to terms with it. I would sit down and talk to him, but more than likely he is going to become defensive and say that he isn’t homosexual and that it was just a drunken mistake. The facts are he cheated on you, and it was with another man. Do you want to stay with a guy that doesn’t know what he wants? You deserve a man that won’t cheat on you and a man that isn’t confused about his sexuality. I know it’s hard because you have been together for 3 years, but it’s better to find this out now than down the road when you are married with children. Move on and find yourself a real man!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • I had a baby with my wife’s sister…

    The Question:

    How do I win my ex-wife back after having a baby with her sister?
    Before you judge me I would like to say that yes I was wrong. 4 years ago me and my wife were pregnant with twins, her sister came over to stay in Germany with us for 3 months because my ex-wife wanted her here. When my wife was pregnant she was cranky, tired and resisted sex and didn’t want me near her. She kept pushing me away. When her sister came about 2 weeks into her stay, by mistake we kissed, and when my wife went to work we ended up having sex a lot. We ended it but 4 weeks after we did she was pregnant with my baby too. I regret everything I’ve done because my ex-wife was so good to me. When I told her what happened she left me and returned home to her own country and I never got to meet my children which was very unfair. I waited and thought she would come back but when her nine months were up I knew she wasn’t going to return. With her sister I am seeing the child. My wife is back in Germany at the moment because her sister told me and I’ve also seen her and my twins and they have grown up so well and I can see she has brought them up well but I want to be in their lives. How do I ask her to let me at least say hi and that I’m their dad? is there anyway I could win her back? I really love this woman and we never arranged a divorce? What I did is a complete mistake but she never got a divorce. She cant hate me then if she hated me why not get a divorce?

    My Response:

    Dear Remorseful;

    First of all – You kissed her by mistake? You don’t just accidentally fall and kiss someone and you don’t accidentally have sex with someone, let alone your wife’s sister…. Second… Yes; You made a huge mistake, the ultimate mistake. Not only did you cheat on her, you cheated on her with her sister and not only did you cheat on her with her sister you had a baby with her sister. If this woman took you back, I would say you were the luckiest man in the planet. I agree that although you made your mistakes that you should at least be allowed to see the babies. You need to first sit down with your wife and apologize for all that you have done, let her see that you are truly remorseful for what you have done to her and that although your relationship may never be the same you want to be a good father to your children. She probably hasn’t gotten a divorce for a few reasons, one she can’t afford it or two she just can’t bring herself to do it yet. Just because she left doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you. You cheated on her while she was pregnant with her sister and got her sister pregnant too. I don’t know how she forgave her sister, because you were both wrong in what you did. Communication is all you have here, try and talk to her and at least be in your children’s lives, but don’t expect to get back with your wife. Do this for your children and your love for them. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Dating my friends daughter?

    The Question:

    I am a 42 year old man and for the past 5 months I have been secretly dating and sleeping with the 20 year old daughter of a good friend and colleague. This started up when she stayed with me for a couple of weeks last December when she was between flats while at university. We had been drinking too much wine one thing led to another and we made love. We kept promising to end it but neither of us are able to, I am falling in love with her but her father will literally kill me if he finds out.
    It’s such a mess, should I confess to her father or keep seeing his daughter in secret?

    My Response:

    Dear Truth be Told;

    You guys have a huge age difference, that is not to say that you do not have things in common or that you aren’t compatible, but you have to really think about what you want in this relationship and if she is on the same page as you are. She’s not even 21, she has barely lived her life and partied, and these are things she may want to do. Sleeping with a good friend and colleagues daughter that is so much younger then you is probably going to come back to bite you in the ass, however if you are both on the right page then hiding this from her father is only going to make things worse. If the relationships is serious then you both need to come clean. At the end of the day she is an adult and she needs to own up to this relationship whether or not her dad likes it. If it is only a sex thing then I would truly think about whether or not it is worth ruining your friendship and possible working situation. The truth eventually always comes out, and I think it is better to come clean then for him to find out another way. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

    May 18, 2011

  • My fiance cheated on me with my best friend…

    The Question:

    Fiance Cheated on me and now we are through. What do I do now?
    We had been together 6 years and then she cheats on me with my friend and is with him now. I feel lost, don’t quite know what to do. I loved her very much and just in shock still of what has happened, was the last possible thing i ever thought could have happened. How do i make it through the days without her, what do i do now? How do I attempt to find someone after so long with her i don’t even know where to begin. Any advice is deeply appreciated.

    My Response:

    Dear Recovering;

    It’s hard, not only did your girlfriend who you thought you were getting married to cheat on you but she cheated on you with your best friend. The first thing you need to realize is your best friend, really was never a friend if he was able to cheat with his best friend’s fiance. Second your girlfriend is not worth being sad over if she just couldn’t tell you how she felt and ended things before going onto your best friend. You got hit here with a double wammy, not only did you lose your girlfriend but you lost your best friend the same day. You deserve better, you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and realize that it was better to have lost her before you got married, I know it doesn’t make you feel better and the pain of loosing her isn’t just going to go away, but you need to stand up and be strong. Start hanging out with other friends and get back out there. I wouldn’t recommend getting back into a relationship so bad because you are still hurting, but go out there and start dating, have some fun and in time you will see that things happen for a reason. You may not see that reason now, but I promise that one day you will turn around and remember these words and you will truly see that everything happens for a reason.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com