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Tag: ask kristin nicole

  • Is it ever too late?

    Is it ever too late?

    Sometimes in life we wonder if it’s ever to late to do some of the things we wished we had done when we were younger. Is it too late to go back to school and finish my degree? Is it too late to tell him/her I love him/her? Is it too late to buy those shoes I saw in the window? Is it too late to move to another city? Is it too late?

    Nothing in life is ever easy, no one can tell you to turn right instead of left, and at the end of the day it’s never too late….

    I hate to say I’m passed the age where I should have already received a Master’s Degree, let alone my Bachelors, but I’m in school and little by little working my way to getting that degree. I thought at one point it was too late, too late to continue and do what I want to do, too late to finish and too late to follow my dreams. I’m living proof that it’s never too late. Sure it’s taking me long enough, but I have to work full time and go to school, and although it isn’t easy each day moves forward and each day is a day closer to that degree. Going to school online I meet people who are a lot older than I am, also living proof, that ‘It’s NEVER too late’.

    I still wonder about the ‘what ifs’, I wonder where I would be and what I would be doing, but in life ‘EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON’, and I truly believe that. (That’s another story I would have to tell you about another time…). But like I said….things happen for a reason. We meet people in our lives who cross our paths only to introduce us to people that will be in our future. If we sit here all the time wondering about the what ifs, and is it ever too lates… in the world, then life will pass us by and we’ll never know what could have been.

    It’s never too late to live your dream, buy those shoes in the window or tell that person you love them. Don’t stop dreaming, don’t stop believing in hope, and have faith and strength to do the things you want to do in life. I’m not perfect and sometimes I get scared to move to the next step in life, but if we don’t keep walking forward, then we’ll miss out on all the great things life has to offer us. With every hard moment in life a good moment is right around the corner. With every little fear inside of us, lives the strength and hope to keep us moving forward. It’s never too late to do the things we want to do in life. Life is too short, don’t live it wondering if it’s too late, just get out there and go for it.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Dreams do come true…

    Dreams do come true….

    Dreams are what our hearts desire. We dream about the future and what we could have. When we are kids we dream big, we believe everything and anything is possible, somewhere a long the way we somehow lose that faith, that anything is indeed possible.

    Sometimes I get anxious, I try to think positive and believe that anything is possible. If I think positive and believe in the future, it will happen. If I give it my all, the possibilities will become reality. As I try to believe in my words I get anxious, I think it comes from being scared. Scared about the ‘what if’s’ in life, scared that dreams don’t actually come true.

    When you dream big you become big. Some think that if you dream big, you are only looking towards a bigger disappointment. But isn’t dreaming about what you want in life the goal we have to try to achieve, and if we fail, doesn’t that mean that we have to fight stronger, move forward and keep fighting for that dream? If we give up on our dreams, then what do we have to look forward to? No one ever said that dreaming big was easy, no one said that your dreams would come true the moment you think of them. We have to fight for our dreams, work hard to achieve them and remember that anything is possible. If we believe in ourselves, if we believe that anything is possible and that dreams can come true, then we live a life much easier than those who believe nothing good can come from dreaming big.

    I never really thought about what I REALLY wanted in life, what my dreams were, or if I ever really had a dream that was so big it can make me happy. When I stop to think about where I am in my life right now, I realize all the things I didn’t do up until now, but I also realize all the good that I have in my life. Without heartbreak, struggles, fear, we don’t become the people we are supposed to be. Each morning we get up, we have a routine (either work or school, or some other type of activity) we then get home to either take care of our kids, study, cook etc and then we go to sleep to start the day all over again. But do you wake up going to a place you are happy with? Do we settle for contentment or do we fight the big fight called LIFE?

    I want to fight, I want to dream and I want to believe that ANYTHING is POSSIBLE. I want to become who I am destined to be. I’m going to dream, I’m going to work to make those dreams come true and one day you will see that no matter what happens in life, dreams can come true.

    ~ Don’t ever stop believing in your dreams, because when you stop believing in your dreams you stop believing in yourself. ~Kristin Nicole

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Life doesn’t have a Guide Book…

    Random Thoughts:

    Pain is something we all feel at one point in our lives. When you hurt inside it’s a pain that is unexplainable, a pain that blinds us from what is really in front of us. Sometimes when we hurt we eventually move forward, we eventually see that the pain was for a reason, other times the pain turns into anger. Life is a journey that we are all on together, a journey we have to figure out on our own. We cross paths with people in our lives that change who we are, we either grow from them or we stay stuck in the paths we are crossing. I believe that we meet people in our lives for a reason, we might not see it in the moment, but they are there for one reason or another.

    Sometimes we feel lost, and confused and we aren’t quiet sure where to go from there. I knew someone who was lost, this person forgot who they were, they weren’t happy with themselves or their life and they pushed everyone they knew away. Closing one door leading them into a depression I couldn’t get them out of. When someone tells you that they don’t love you anymore, you try to come up with reasons why they loved you to begin with, when a person stops loving themselves the only thing you can do is let them find their own way back. How do you help someone who doesn’t want to be helped? There is no guide book in life to tell us how to act, what to do, where to go, there is no help guide to tell us how to love or what to do when we feel sad or upset. We live this life for a reason and we try to figure it out along the way.

    At times I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I have a vision of what I want to do, but fear holds me back at times, wondering if what I really want will ever truly happen, if I’m good enough for what seems to be the impossible. I try to think positive and I love to feel like anything is possible, but there is always that little negative voice inside who stops us from making our dreams come true. Why do people always second guess themselves, why do we feel like there are some things in life that just can’t happen?

    My friend gave me this quote from Steve Jobs which I find to be refreshing, I have it up on my board at work so that I can see it and remind myself of the possibilities life has to bring.

    “You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of our life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle. ~Steve Jobs (2005 Stanford Commencement Speech).

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • My husband abuses me & I don’t know if to stay?

    The Question:

    Okay I have been with my husband for 4 years, For the first 18 months we were fine! The week after I gave birth to my first child, he was drunk and he beat me really bad. To this day my eye twitches because of it. Well he didn’t do anything like that for a long time, 5 months or so. We got married around our two year anniversary. It is like it all went down hill from there. I was pregnant again and he beat me all throughout my pregnancy. He kicked me in the back and when I told him he could hurt the baby and he said ” well it wasn’t in the stomach”. After I gave birth to my 2nd (2nd c-section) he beat me again because I asked him to change HIS FIRST diaper. He said it wasn’t his “job”. For the last 7 months I have been on new diabetic meds that doesn’t make me feel to good and on various occasions he has wanted sex, and when I say no he pretty much does it to me anyway. I had planned to leave him, he hasn’t done anything for about 7 weeks, but after all that I don’t think I could still stay with him. I just feel like I don’t feel the same anymore. Am, I wrong for feeling this way, I don’t know what to do anymore, I need some advise , someone to talk to anything. I need help with this situation, what should I do?

    My Response:

    Dear Abused Wife/Mother;

    You are not wrong to feel that way, it is absolutely normal to feel like you lost yourself, to feel like you aren’t yourself anymore because your husband has taken away your faith. He has taken away your strength and your heart, and you have not only you to think about but your children. Do you want your children to grow up in an abusive house hold? First things first…You should have never married him after he beat you the first time, but you did and we can’t turn back time now. The second time he beat you, during your pregnancy should have been another sign that he had no regard for your life or for the life of your un-born child. Stop for a moment and stop coming up with excuses like “well it’s been 7 weeks since he’s done anything”. It doesn’t make it right! NO MAN should ever beat their wife or anyone for that matter. You need to be strong and I am not saying it’s going to be easy but do you have family that you can live with for a while? Take your children and go to court. I would not trust this man with my children, if he beats you it is possible he can become abusive to the children if he hasn’t already. You need to divorce this man, you need to press charges and you need to get out now. DO NOT let him suck you back into his life. He will tell you how much he loves you, how much you mean to me, that you are everything to him and that he is so sorry for hitting you and he will never do it again??! If he doesn’t go that route, he may try to threaten you and he may tell you that you cannot leave him. YOU ALWAYS have a choice to leave. If you feel that he may do something more than just beat you, you need to be close to family and you need to report him to the police. I understand that he is the child of your children but do you honestly think that this is a good father figure for your children? Do you want your children to follow the patterns into an abusive relationship in the future or become abusers themselves one day? This is what usually happens when a child grows up in this kind of environment. I would talk to a lawyer and make sure that he can only have visitation rights with a supervised visit. As for him forcing you to have sex, it doesn’t matter if he’s your husband in most states that is considered rape, even by a husband. GET OUT NOW! You need to be strong and confident and you need to be happy. You will never be happy living with fear.

    I hope you get the help you need.

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I have no self esteem left with men and don’t know how to get any?

    The Question:

    I spent four years living with a guy who started off wonderfully but cheated on me constantly because he said I wasn’t good looking enough (but I had a ‘beautiful personality’) and then left one day and never spoke to me again. He stabbed his next girlfriend while high. Then I didn’t date for ten years as I traveled instead. I met a guy who was shy, humble, sweet and kind – he tried to con me out of money and told me how ugly I am. He wouldn’t touch me during sex. I just feel all out of self esteem. Men look at me in the street, but I’m scared to let another man near me. Both started off so wonderfully sweet. None of my friends guessed their true colors. How can I get some self esteem?

    My Response:

    Dear Self-Esteem;

    Self Esteem is something you have to learn, you need to be confident in yourself. Lets start off with your first relationship, the moment he cheated on you, that should have been a clear indication to ‘GET OUT’, then when he told you that you were not good looking but had a “beautiful personality” that should have been a hint that he was just not that into you and that he clearly didn’t love you. Thank the heavens that he never spoke to you again, you could have been the next girlfriend that was stabbed while he was high, this guy was obviously a LOOSER!! You didn’t date for 10 years because you traveled, Okay…traveling is absolutely fabulous but you could have dated a foreign guy here and there just to spice things up, but whats done is done and now we go onto Boyfriend #2…. He was shy, humble, sweet and kind you say but he tried to “CON” YOU OUT OF MONEY, and he told you that you were ugly??? Okay did he tell you were ugly first or did he try to Con you out of money first, either way these were clear signs that he was no good. Most con guys will act shy and sweet at first this is how they get you to believe they are nice guys, don’t blame yourself, that is why they are called “CON ARTISTS”, this can happen to anyone, unfortunately because you didn’t have a relationship for a long time and the one relationship you did have was a verbally abusive one you already probably showed signs of insecurity. Have faith in yourself, if you don’t believe in yourself no one else will. I know it is easier said than done, believe me, I used to be very insecure, I always felt all my girlfriends were much more prettier than I was, and I was too skinny and my legs were ugly and well you get my drift. However, I was always strong in my personality, I would never let a man put me down, if I thought those stuff about myself I sure didn’t need someone else thinking them about me too, I needed a man who would compliment me and love me for me. I went through a few relationships until I found someone who I can be myself around with. There are plenty of guys out there, don’t give up. Don’t worry about what men think and just worry about what you think about yourself. I learned that I was skinny but a lot of guys liked that, and I grew into my awkwardness and realized I was pretty hot 😉

    Be strong, don’t ever let a man put you down, the minute they do, that’s a clear sign to “GET OUT”! Don’t give up though, there is always someone out there for someone.

    xo
    kristin nicole

  • How do I tell my husband that I want a divorce?

    The Question:

    I have fallen out of love with my husband. I’m no really in love with him. He just kinda … became a bore to me and I’m getting sick of him. Also he has gained a lot of weight over the past few years and I’m not very attracted to him anymore.

    I just don’t feel the same anymore as I used to. I’m ready to move on into the next chapter in my life. How do I tell the man that I want a divorce?

    My Response:

    Dear Divorce;

    Sometimes we fall out of love and that’s okay, it just wasn’t meant to be, but we usually fall out of love because of reasons other than he just gained some weight over the years, because weight can be changed. However, if you really are ready to move on and you are not happy, it is not healthy to stay in this relationship and it is better for the both of you that you move your separate ways. It is not going to be easy, but no one can really tell you how to tell your husband you want a divorce. You can either do it in the comfort of your home or you can pick a public place to tell him (just in case you think he might make a scene). Be honest with him and tell him how you have been feeling and that you want a divorce. (I would leave the weight part out, but that’s just me). There really is no easy way to do this, so you made the decision to move on, make that decision to get up and tell him how you feel. Good luck

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Would leaving my 10yr old stepdaughter with my abusive husband be selfish?

    The Question:

    Would leaving my 10yr old stepdaughter with my abusive husband be selfish? I love her, she has been raised as mine and wants to come with me but taking her or even raising the desire to take her will open the door to the manipulation and disorder that I want to leave far far behind. My husband is an unmitigated narcissist who will withhold money, disrupt birthdays and holidays, tell hurtful lies, be violent or distant to me and the children anything that suits his current control needs. I can now leave all that but not if I have his daughter. But I know she will bear the brunt of all that if I leave her. What do I do?

    My Response:

    Dear Step-Mom;

    First things first, did you adopt his daughter when she was little? If you did not adopt her I am not sure if you have any rights to having full custody, but you can talk to a lawyer and see what your options are. This is a very difficult situation because you do not want to stay in an abusive relationship but you can not leave your step daughter with him either if he is abusive. Find a way to either take full custody or see if there is someone that can fight for custody of her. I think that there might be a way to file custody for her if you choose to be responsible of her since she knows you and was raised by you. You need to find this out first and go from there, but it is not healthy for either of you to stay in a house if he is being violent with you. I hope this helps, good luck and I would love for you to keep me updated, I am interested in finding out if you are able to file for custody. I looked up a few sites and a few say you might be able to but nothing concrete. As to your original question of being selfish if you leave your step daughter with your abusive husband, I have to say yes, I know it is a hard position to be in, but you raised her and she should not be left with him alone, either fight for her or you need to make the decision of calling child services on him. It is a hard decision but I think your best bet is to go to a lawyer first and find out your options. Good Luck!

    xo
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Do you think it is overrated to save your virginity until marriage?

    The Question:

    Do you think it is overrated to save your virginity until marriage?
    Ii just want some honest input, if you’re not mature enough to answer than don’t. Since I’m asking for your input I guess I can give you mine. “I am 19 years old and in college and a virgin. I’m wondering if its just a silly pipe dream that I will find a girl who has the same morals as I do? It is not easy keeping it and honestly I kind of forget why I am sometimes. Any thoughts?

    My Response:

    Dear Wanting to wait;

    I do not think it is overrated and I do think it is sweet, and it is hard very hard. Now a day’s a lot of girls and a lot of guys do not wait for marriage, but if this is something you truly believe in then I think you should stick with it. Perhaps join a church group, you might be able to find a girl that is still “pure” there rather than frat parties in college 😉 You might also find other guys that have the same morals as you do and it may make it easier to hang out with them then other 19 year old guys who are only looking to party and have sex. You are still young and you still have time to decide, but do not let others tell you that it is overrated or that you shouldn’t wait until marriage. If this is how you feel, I say go for it. Good luck.

    xo
    kristin nicole

  • What Stupid Thing Happened to you?

    What Stupid Thing Happened To You?

    Just yesterday I had to go to Publix on 134 SW 13th St in Downtown Miami, to get a money order. My boyfriend and I went in together and were both getting money orders. We had a sum amount and were splitting it, however, he was getting one and I was getting one. Two separate accounts, nothing to do with the other. The lady asks us for two forms of ID. I asked her why that is, and she said because you are getting a money order for more than $3000. I explained that we weren’t, mine was 1k+ and his was 1k+, one had nothing to do with the other. My account is totally different than his account. She insisted that it was over 3k and she just wasn’t understanding what I had to say. I asked to speak to her manager, and the manager proceeded to tell me the same thing. She said we knew each other and we came in together. WHAT????? I can know 5 people behind me and we can be taking a total of 8 thousand dollars, it shouldn’t matter! If we are all getting separate money orders and each has a different account I do not see the problem. Now had I had 2 forms of ID on me, I would have just done it, but we were on a time frame and I don’t carry my social security number with me and I don’t have a passport, and if I did I wouldn’t carry that with me either.

    So I normally try to hold my composer, but again we were on a time frame trying to close on our first house today and we needed to get these money orders. I proceeded to lose my temper and tell the lady she was a Freaken Idiot and walked away. Now I say this is a stupid thing that happened to me because the lady was obviously not understanding that just because we came in together does not mean we are withdrawing over 3k. I can understand if it was coming from the same account, but it wasn’t. My account is one account, and my boyfriends is his account. We don’t even have the same last name for goodness sakes!

    So did we get the money order? Of course we did, we ended up going to the Publix on 311 SW 7th St. The girl was very nice and without a problem I got my money order and my boyfriend got his. No thanks to the Publix on 13th Street we were able to close on our house yesterday. So thank you for being idiots and allowing me to realize to NEVER go to your PUBLIX Again, and just because the 7th street was so nice and fast, I will continue to shop there instead. (Yeah I know it’s still a PUBLIX, but it’s the closest thing to my house right now). 😉

    What Stupid Thing has happened to you? Tell your story in the Comments Page.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Dreams – Good or Bad?!?

    So many things come to mind when you think about dreams.

    Dreams

    Dream = A series of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations occurring involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep.

    Have you ever had a dream so intense, so clear it just sticks with you forever? How many years has it been since you had that dream? Was it a good dream or a bad one?

    My Dream

    I had a dream when I was about 6 or 7 years old, that I will always remember. It started off that I was in the neighborhood I grew up in, it was dark and foggy (Yes here in Miami), and I was walking with one of my mom’s friends. We were looking for my mom and went up to the shopping center by my house and I found a dirty looking restroom, and inside their was a shower. The shower was running and the curtain was closed. I opened it and found my mom shot, and bleeding. I yelled for her to wake up and she told me to run, run as fast as I could home, and call for help. I ran out, trying to find my house when I bumped into my mom’s friend, I told her about my mom and she grabbed my arm, telling me I wasn’t going for help and that I would listen to whatever she told me to do. I struggled from her grip and ran around my neighborhood trying to find my home, crying and scared that mom was going to die. I then woke up in sweats, and crying for my mother. For some reason that dream as always stuck with me. A dream I’ll never forget.

    I have had a couple dreams that have stuck with me. Dreams I can visualize so vividly in my mind as if I had them last night. And yet these were dreams I had when I was a little girl. I have also had dreams much older that I also will never forget. Dreams that looked so real, and felt so real, and the next day have actually happened, just as I dreamed it would.

    Have you ever had a dream like this? If so please let me know so I can blog about it.

    “There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why… I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?”
    ~Robert Francis Kennedy

    xo,
    kristin nicole