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Tag: breakup

  • Advice Column: I feel sick when I see him

    Breaking up is hard to do. Image found on Flickr.com
    Advice Column: I feel sick when I see him. Image found on Flickr.com

    The Question:

    I feel sick when I see him, what do I do?

    I was friends with my ex 5 years (platonic), together for 2. We have had problems and gone back and forth. He came back and I thought I wanted to try again. I feel sick to my stomach and unhappy when I have to see him. The problem is how do I break up with him? It’ s such a loss.

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Feeling Sick;

    Sometimes our feelings change for the better and sometimes like in your case for the worst. It’s normal for this to happen when a relationship is dead. Don’t feel bad to be honest with him. Breaking up with someone is never easy but it’s better to let him go than to pretend to be happy in a relationship that you are no longer happy in. It’s a clear indication that this needs to be done if you are feeling sick to your stomach when you see him. Tell him how you feel – well I wouldn’t tell him you feel sick when you see him that might be a bit too harsh. But tell him you want to see other people and that this just isn’t working out.

    xo

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: I don’t think I love my girlfriend anymore

    Advice Column: I don’t think I love my girlfriend anymore – Photo found on google.com/images

     

    The Question:

    We’ve known each other for nearly 6 years now and have been together for 2 of them. We pretty much live together as it is between her place and mine. Before we were going out I always wanted to be with her and I felt so strongly about her and loved her so much when we got together. But in the past few months I don’t feel like I love her anymore. I don’t want to be around her or talk to her.

    I understand that when your with someone for a long time you get your down time for a while but I’ve had these thoughts before. The longer we’ve been together the more I don’t want to be with her. The only thing is we’re 16/17 and I’m her second boyfriend, and I helped her through her first break up and I don’t want to hurt her the way her ex did. I just feel like sh*t when I’m with her. We were so much better when we were just friends. Anyway, please can someone help me out? I don’t want to hurt her but I don’t want to be with her anymore and I feel so much sh*tter [sic] when she mentions marriage and how her parents and family think we’ll get married cause I’m so good for her. HELP!

    My Response:

    Dear Young Love;

    Telling her the truth and not leading her on will be the first step. She will get hurt regardless because she loves you but in the end she will realize that you telling her the truth about how you feel is better then living a lie. You are super young, you guys are only 16/17 and you both have so much more dating left to do. I do not understand how her parents can possibly think marriage at your age, but don’t worry so much about everyone else and what they think, worry about how you feel. You do not want to pretend to be happy in a relationship and you do not want to lead her on into thinking that one day you will get married when you know deep down that will never happen. It’s hard and you are going to have to sit down with her and tell her how you feel. In the end even if she doesn’t see what a great guy you are by telling her the truth now, eventually she will. Don’t ever settle for someone just because you do not want to hurt their feelings. Relationships are hard and when one person wants to end it there is always one person who’s feelings will get hurt, but it’s better you do it now then later down the road. Staying with her longer and then telling her you don’t want to be with her will only hurt her more. Communication is key to any relationship and I think you will be a great boyfriend to another girl one day, but you have to think about you and you have to think about her. It’s not fair for her to keep believing you love her when you don’t. Tell her how you feel, and although it won’t be easy, you can finally move on and start dating other girls. Live your life, you are still young and have so much more experiences to live for. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

    (2011)

  • Hello and Goodbye

    Hello & Goodbye – Photo by: google.com/images

    I found a picture on line that had a great verse about hello and goodbye, I thought I would put together a poem. Tell me what you think.

    Hello and Goodbye

    Hello to the new me
    Goodbye to what you made me be
    Hello to my new life
    Without you by my side

    Hello to freedom
    Goodbye to the tie down
    Hello starting over
    Where have you been?
    Goodbye person I once knew within.

    Hello and Goodbye
    To what I once knew
    Hello new beginnings
    Goodbye now I’m through

    Hello’s give you hope
    Goodbyes kill your dreams
    It’s never easy finding the in between.
    Once I say goodbye
    Forget who I am
    Forget that I knew you
    Forget that I ever believed in you
    My hello was lived short
    But my goodbye will live forever

    Hello new life
    Goodbye the tears that came at night
    Hello hope
    Goodbye old life.

    © Written by: kristin nicole May 2012

  • Nothings Forever

    Nothings Forever. Photo by: google.com/images

    Nothings forever
    I’ve learned that from the past
    When I met him, I thought our love would last
    Then he broke my heart in two, left me wondering what i did wrong,
    made me move on.
    Nothings forever
    I’ve learned that from the past
    When I met him, I thought our love would last
    He lied, he cheated, he broke me to pieces
    I had to move on, I had to get out
    I couldn’t believe I fell for his lies
    and in the end it was only his demise.
    Nothings forever
    I’ve learned that from the past
    in the end of any heartache
    you learn to move on
    you learn nothings forever
    you learn that in the end everything will be okay
    and when you learn to walk away
    there is nothing left to say.

    © Written by: kristin nicole – May 2012

  • Broken in Two

    Broken in Two – Photo by: google.com/images

    I had someone write to me once about their relationship, how it ended and how it began, and she wanted me to write a poem that described her relationship. SO…. Here it is, let me know what you think….

    Broken in Two

    I loved you with words unsaid
    I loved you until you cheated in my bed
    I loved you for all the wrong reasons
    I loved you for all the right feelings
    I loved you for what you didn’t say
    for all the lies you made

    You looked at me with truth
    I didn’t see the real you
    You were a liar and a fake
    you cheated on me and that was your biggest mistake

    I tried to forgive you
    I tried to ignore the truth
    I was blinded by an image that wasn’t me and you

    you took my heart
    you played it like a string on a guitar
    you said you loved me
    but the truth was you only loved yourself

    you lied to yourself
    made everything bigger than it was
    pretended to be happy
    lost without a doubt

    one day the light turned on
    and you knew you couldn’t pretend anymore
    you fought it but you had to say it out loud
    our relationship was a blur
    as if it was never true
    i wish it weren’t because it would have been easier to forget you.

    When i moved on
    you wanted me back
    it was too late
    you have to face the facts,
    you fucked up
    and there’s no turning back.

    now i see you and you pretend to be happy
    but i know you
    you never changed
    you can put on an act
    pretend to be happy
    pretend nothing in the world will break you
    but we both know the truth
    you’re broken in two

    the person i once knew
    and the new you
    you can put on a smile
    you can move forward in life
    but deep down inside you’ll never be you
    you will always be the broken man i once knew.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    © 2012 kristin nicole

  • His thoughts (You’re the one)

    (Re-post)

    His thoughts (You’re the one) Part 1:

    I thought I stopped loving you and I thought I didn’t care.
    I pushed our love aside, as you looked into my eyes.
    You cried for me and I let you down.
    I don’t know how to fix this so I almost let you drown.

    I pretended to be happy
    But you knew the real me
    You knew how to make me smile and I let you leave.

    You were my everything and I let you down.
    I let you walk away that day,
    What the fuck was I thinking when I let you get away?
    Why did I put up this wall?
    Why did I let you go?

    Chorus: I’m crying inside
    I can’t break free
    Sadness is killing me
    Please come back to me.
    I can’t let you go
    You’re my everything.

    I pushed you away until you stepped out the door.
    You said you loved me but you couldn’t take the pain no more.
    You asked me if I loved you
    If we could make it work,
    You said all there was to say
    Then you walked away…

    I stood in silence as you looked into my eyes
    I couldn’t say a word, as tears rolled down your eyes…..
    I saw I was breaking your heart.
    But I stood in disbelief
    Never thought you would really leave me!

    I can’t lose you now
    You’re all I ever had
    I thought I’d never lose you but I was wrong to think I had
    Because I still had you,
    You were mine in every way
    And when I let you walk away
    I lost you that day!
    Now I’m left with nothing to say….

    CHORUS x 2

    I can’t let you go
    You’re my everything….

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    © written by: kristin nicole

    Next Post you can read Part II – Her side….

  • My bf wants to get married but I don’t…

    The Question:

    Dear kristin nicole;

    I am going through a huge dilemma in my life right now. I am 23 years old ( Indian girl ). I have been in a relationship with this guy for 4 years. ( it’s long distance) for the first 2 years everything was fine, for the last 2 years, we have been facing problems. He is very possessive and insecure,he gets mad at me and it’s very bad, he loves making a big deal out of nothing and when I talk to my friends about it, they get so surprised about the fact that someone can be as insecure/jealous and as possessive as him. I get so scared every single time when he calls me. Every time I he calls I feel like it’s to have another fight with me.

    The only reason why I’m with him right now is that he blames me for not doing anything in his life for the past 2 years, and I feel obligated to stay with him. He stopped working when we were having problems, and now he has to start everything from scratch. He blames me for that and because of me he is not as successful as he is suppose to be ( he is 28). While on the other hand, I didn’t let these fights affect my career, so I didn’t waste any time.

    He is not as out going as I am, he is not as talkative/social as I am, he doesn’t have as many friends as I do, so he expects me to be like him; not go to any b’day parties..or clubbing…or hang out with any of my guy friends…

    My question is: is it right to blame myself that he didn’t do anything over 2 years? I never asked him to just stop his life!! In those 2 years, we didn’t talk at all for 6 months, so technically I wasn’t a part of his life for 6 months, he still didn’t do anything over those 6 months, and now he tells me that just because I hurt him so much with my arguing he cant focus on anything else, he only accepts things which he likes and doesn’t want to listen to my suggestions/opinions/likes/dislikes…

    Am I going to ruin my life by staying with him? He wants me to talk to my parents about marriage, but I really don’t feel like getting married. I am not excited at all about anything in this relationship, and I don’t even know how our future is gonna look like.

    On the other hand one of my best friends told me he likes me, he has supported me in every single step of my life, I respect him a lot. He makes me smile, he doesn’t expect anything in return, he knows about my complicated relationship with my boyfriend and I think I like this friend of mine. He is one of the most decent/caring guys out there and he has everything I ever wanted in a guy. What should I do?

    My feelings for my boyfriend died a year ago…. 🙁 but now he insists that I talk to my parents about marriage.
    Please help me!!

    ~from: a girl in dilemma~

    My Response:

    Dear a girl in dilemma;

    Let’s start with you staying with this man just because he chose to not work for 2 years. How in any way is this your fault? If he is blaming you it’s because he doesn’t want to blame himself for his life going down the drain. In no way is it your fault that he hasn’t worked, that doesn’t even make sense. We all make choices in life and he chose not to work and to not find another job. He is 28 years old not 18, he’s a grown man and it’s time for him to grow up and take responsibility of his own life. It is obvious to me (and you stated it: “my feelings for my boyfriend died a year ago”) then there really is no question here as to leave him or not. I think you already made the choice a long time ago, now you have to stand up and tell him how you feel. He may not let you go easily but you need to be strong, this is your life, and life is too short to keep wasting it with someone that you don’t love. You don’t live together and you have nothing together so it should be fairly easy to end things. Again he may not let you go that easily, if you aren’t getting along and he’s still proposing marriage then he obviously is in denial over your relationship. DEFINITELY, and I mean Definitely do NOT get married to this guy, you said it yourself “I really don’t feel like getting married”; you know the answer to ending this relationship, now all you can do is actually end it. Your boyfriend cannot force you to marry him, end things now, don’t waste anymore time being with someone you already know you don’t want to be with.

    As for your good friend, you can be having feelings for him just because he’s there for you and it’s comforting to have a man understand what you are going through since the relationship you are in is not healthy. I am not saying that these feelings aren’t real, but just take it slow. First deal with the relationship you are in right now, then take time for yourself to evaluate what you want in life. Take it slow with your friend and see if you really want to be in a relationship with him or if you want to just continue staying friends. If you see that you both really like each other then go for it, give it a try, but remember sometimes relationships can ruin friendships if it doesn’t work out, so just make sure this is what you really want before going into it.

    Remember you are the only one that can change your life, you are the only one that can move on from the relationship you are in and start living it with someone you actually love.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Is there hope after love?


    The Question:

    “I don’t love you any more” I will never forget the day my wife told me those words…we have only been married for less than a year and been together for two years before that but it still felt like my my whole life was falling apart…people tell me I’m lucky we had no kids or that it happened now instead of 20 years down the road but that doesn’t seem to take away from the fact that I love her more than any thing…to be told your not loved by the person you built your world around will knock you down and I’m finding it very hard to get back up. I’ve moved away and I’m starting a new job but my hart seems to be stuck in the past, I still love her even thought I know there is no real hope of us ever being together again. I’ve started drinking which I never do but it seems to be the only thing that takes away some of the pain if only for a few hours; anyway this is not really a question its just me asking for others story of hope and recovery from losing love. Please tell me how you got over your loss of love and that’s its going to get better…right????

    My Response:

    Dear Lost Love;

    Being told by the person you think you’re going to spend the rest of your life with that they don’t love you anymore is heartbreaking, world shattering news. It’s like a train runs you over and you can’t move. A brick wall is standing in front of you and you don’t know where to go. Truth is, even though it hurts right now, and even though you feel like you will always love her and only her, time passes and does heal all wounds. It is true what people say, it’s better now that you didn’t have kids together, it’s better now than 20 years down the road after you lived half your life together, it’s just better now. This is true, but it doesn’t mean it’s going to make you feel better about the situation. You have to think though, did you want to stay in a marriage full of lies, filled with someone you loved so much but doesn’t love you back in return? Don’t you think you deserve to be loved the way you love them? There is no big secret about how to move on, there is no “do this”; “do that”, and you will get over it. Everyone is different and we all move on in different ways. As for your drinking, if it’s to try to make the pain go away, then that’s a problem, drinking doesn’t solve sadness, it only increases it. If you are noticing that you are drinking more, than you should be able to control it. It’s not easy moving forward when you thought you already had your life planned out with someone, but this is a new beginning, you have a new job a new place a new life…Think positive, I know it’s hard, but I promise, things do get better.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com