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Tag: california

  • Do you think it is overrated to save your virginity until marriage?

    The Question:

    Do you think it is overrated to save your virginity until marriage?
    Ii just want some honest input, if you’re not mature enough to answer than don’t. Since I’m asking for your input I guess I can give you mine. “I am 19 years old and in college and a virgin. I’m wondering if its just a silly pipe dream that I will find a girl who has the same morals as I do? It is not easy keeping it and honestly I kind of forget why I am sometimes. Any thoughts?

    My Response:

    Dear Wanting to wait;

    I do not think it is overrated and I do think it is sweet, and it is hard very hard. Now a day’s a lot of girls and a lot of guys do not wait for marriage, but if this is something you truly believe in then I think you should stick with it. Perhaps join a church group, you might be able to find a girl that is still “pure” there rather than frat parties in college 😉 You might also find other guys that have the same morals as you do and it may make it easier to hang out with them then other 19 year old guys who are only looking to party and have sex. You are still young and you still have time to decide, but do not let others tell you that it is overrated or that you shouldn’t wait until marriage. If this is how you feel, I say go for it. Good luck.

    xo
    kristin nicole

  • Is my mother a lesbian?

    The Question:

    Well the other night, I came home from school and I saw my mom with a girl. She was pretty, and then they were on a bed together. My mom was shocked and told me to get out of the room, then the next morning, the girl that was with my mom left, and i saw my mom kiss her. Ii don’t know what to do. Please help…

    My response:

    Dear confused;

    I can’t say for sure if your mother is a lesbian, but this is something very personal and something you need to sit down with your mom and talk about. How old are you? Perhaps she feels you can’t take the news, but if she doesn’t want to talk about it with you, she shouldn’t have other women sleeping over and kissing her where you can obviously catch her doing so. It is more then likely that perhaps your mom is going through a change, I’m not sure the situation, like if she just recently divorced your dad, if your dad has been in the picture at all? Questions that could determine what she may be going through. Either way, I say talk to her, confront your mom and see what she says. Good luck!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My friend is always critical of me, should I stay friends with her?

    The Question:

    I have a friend who recently went through a divorce and is a single mom now. I met her while she was going through the divorce. I have noticed that she always makes mean comments towards me even though I am always nice to her. For instance, she was going through my closet and says you are a lawyer why do you buy cheap clothes or you aren’t detail oriented at all..are you sure you are a lawyer? The list goes on…she makes these snide comments when I least expect it and it really irritates the hell out of me. I am just friends with her out of pity. I don’t initiate contact with her and I don’t try to be friends with her..she always tries to run after me. She can be a good person but her critical remarks shows that something is mentally wrong with her. What should I do? Should I cut the crazy off?

    My response:

    Dear taking criticism;

    It seems to me that although you say you are friends with her out of pity only, you are the one that initiated the friendship and therefor it also seems she isn’t the one who’s going to end it. Just because she was going through a rough divorce gives her no right to criticize but people who are going through tough times and aren’t happy with their own lives tend to criticize the ones they envy. Unfortunately you didn’t stand up to her the first time she started criticizing you and that was your first mistake. You can do two things, you can either step up to her the next time she tries putting you down, just tell her that you don’t appreciate her criticizing the way you live your life or the way you do things and that you are happy with the way your life is; or you can drop her as a friend. Seems to me that she isn’t such a good friend to begin with and you should never be-friend someone just because you feel sorry for them, you should be friends with someone because that person is a friend back to you. My opinion, drop her, she doesn’t seem like a good friend and she needs a lot of growing up to do. There was probably a reason she got divorced to begin with. Move on and find some real friends to hang out with.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

    Please comment…

  • How do I stop talking to my ex so I can live a sane life?

    The Question:

    I have posted before about this train wreck of a relationship. I dated him for about a year, moved in early, then moved out because he was kind of a whack job, then we tried to date again, then broke up, and now are in this gray area. Do I see a future with him? No. Do I want to be with him? No. Do I want to move on and stop talking to him? More than anyone can humanly imagine. So, why then, do I consistently maintain contact with him? He will text back, he will sleep with me, he will hang out with me (at his convenience) but overall, a selfish jerk. Sometimes when I text him, I just feel icky. I know that he will avoid me, or ignore texts just to see me squirm. He is rude and doesn’t give two shi**s about what I’m doing, other than the occasional, “How are you?” text after I have asked him. Do I think he actually cares about how I am? No. Am I still in love with him? Not this guy, but the guy he used to be. He leaves me hanging’, I don’t trust him…..but I just can’t STOP the contact with him. HOW (and I am in counseling too), do I just STOP!?!?!? How do you stop the obsessive thoughts of whether or not he’s with another girl….texting another girl….ignoring me….? I just want to STOP so I can live my life. My days are crap when I’m in contact with him. He’s no good. I just want this madness to stop. I feel like I have zero willpower. I am desperate.

    My response:

    Dear sane;

    You say you don’t want to be with him, you say you are over him, you say he’s a jerk, that you want to forget about him, yet here you are still talking about him, still texting him, still wondering if he’s with another girl. STOP! Take time to breath, and realize that you are still hung up on this guy whether you want to be or not. Sometimes it’s hard to get over what we thought we had, what we think could of been. You already have realized that he isn’t the same guy you started dating, and that’s the first step into getting over him. No one can really tell you how to make it stop, you are the only one that can make that happen. Erase his number from your phone, get rid of anything that he’s given you or any pictures you still have of him ( I know you must have that stuff still), the sooner you do this the sooner it will sink into your head that things are really over between the two you. STOP Texting, loose his number and perhaps even change yours so that he can’t contact you. You already know he isn’t any good for you, he didn’t treat you good and he was as you stated a bit of “a whack job”, so why would you possibly want to be with someone like this. Respect yourself, and learn to love yourself, when you get that you will finally see that this guy isn’t worth your time. You deserve someone that will love you the way you love them, you deserve someone who will treat you good and want to be with you, not someone like the man you described above. Unfortunately women tend to hold on to things, we tend to think about the guy, and drive ourselves crazy even when we know it isn’t going to do any good. Start hanging out with family or friends, going out keep your mind off things and move on. You have to stop in order for you to move on. Hope this helps you a little. Keep me updated.

    Please leave comments if you want.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Happy Birthday!

    Happy Birthday

    Today is the day you were born
    Today is the day I give thanks to the lord
    Without you here, you wouldn’t be part of my world.

    My world changed the day you came into my life
    With every wish I wished upon a star
    that one day I would find love
    love found me a million miles away

    Love entered my heart when I thought it was gone
    you showed me the light,
    you showed me the way,
    if it wasn’t for you
    my world would have gone astray.

    Today is your birthday
    and I wish you the world
    I know that good things are coming your way
    with every wish I make
    with every breath I take
    I know deep down that from here on out
    only good things will come our way.

    Happy Birthday to the man I love
    Happy Birthday
    Happy Birthday

    I love you…..

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    © ~Written By: Kristin Nicole August 23, 2011 – Monday~

    Happy Birthday to a wonderful boyfriend, I hope you are enjoying our trip. I love you

  • I don’t like it when my GF sleeps with her husband…

    The Question:

    How can I gently tell my Girlfriend that I don’t like it when she sleeps with her husband? She did it twice last week and I’m beginning to feel like she’s just using me. HELP
    ~Feeling Used

    My Response:

    Dear Feeling Used;

    Let’s start off with what is wrong with this question….. “I don’t like it when she sleeps with her HUSBAND”….. HUSBAND….. Husband and did I mention HUSBAND? She is married, of course she is going to sleep with her husband, she is having an affair with you and she hasn’t left her husband yet, that should be a clear sign to get out. Well the first sign was the fact that she was MARRIED. The second sign is that she hasn’t left him for you and she is still sleeping with him. Find a woman that isn’t married, a woman that you can be with without hiding it from people, and a woman that will want to be with you and only you. Good luck

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Should I feel guilty?

    The Question:

    Should I feel guilty? Why do I?? Confused!!?

    Ive just come out of a relationship. It was hard to end and I wasn’t happy in the end. The guy didn’t talk to me for weeks after we split and now he turns up saying all the stuff I ever wanted to hear. Mean while, I started dating (nothing serious just dates) this other guy. I explained to the new guy, that I’m just out of a relationship and I have mixed up feelings, and he is ok about it. So why do I feel guilty? Like if I’m cheating on someone when I’m not!!? I told my ex we can talk next week but I can’t promise more then that and we will see what happens. Am I doing anything wrong? Why do I feel guilty? I’m no one’s girlfriend now right? Thanks in advance for your advice.
    ~Conflicted

    My Response:

    Dear Conflicted;

    You shouldn’t feel guilty because you were very honest with they guy you are dating about just being out of a relationship and not wanting anything serious. You are probably conflicted because you may really like the new guy you are dating, and even though you haven’t done anything but talk to your ex, you are feeling like it’s wrong. If you weren’t happy at the end of your relationship then why do you want to talk to your ex now? I think the best thing to do is move on from your ex, and the easiest way to do that is to stop talking to him. If you really like this new guy then don’t ruin it by talking to your ex. If you are confused, then take some time off from both of them and see what you want to do. If you have unfinished feelings with your ex then maybe talking to him and seeing him will clear a few things up for you. Don’t drive yourself crazy about it though, you are single and you are doing nothing wrong, you were honest with the guy you are dating, so if he wants to stick around while you sort out your feelings then that is entirely up to him. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

    August 25, 2011

  • Is it wrong to feel this way about my wife?

    The Question:

    Me and my wife dated 7 months, got married, and now we are almost married a full year. We almost got divorced 2 different times, one was a week ago. She has a bad emotional past (family divorces, alcoholism in two fathers) and we don’t share much in common, we were attracted to each other sexually very much, and developed a friendship and evolved into love. Lately it hasn’t been good, past few months have been crappy. When it gets good though, I always seem to wish she would be this girl I have in my head, who wears dresses all the time and is extremely feminine and sweet. My wife never wears dresses (it sucks!) and is more “country” than “feminine city girl”. I knew this going in, but now I just wish she would be like that. What do I do? Is there a real girl out there to fulfill this need of mine or maybe just stick with my wife, who I have a relationship with and shared many memories with? I just don’t wanna miss out on anything in life. Sometimes it sucks because I like video games and good movies and she hates games and likes one type of movie. Also she always seems too “sick” or “hurt” to do anything or go anywhere fun. She is on meds for Arthritis and a couple other things. (we are both 22 years old). She also has self esteem issues, she is codependent on others too. I wish she was independent. She has had many jobs but quite them all for various reasons. any advice?
    ~Too Young

    My Response:

    Dear Too Young;

    It sounds to me like you got into this marriage way too fast. If you love her, try talking to her about how you feel, try perhaps marriage counseling. If you are staying with her just because you feel bad and you aren’t truly in love with her then maybe the best thing to do is go your separate ways. You are both very young and you have so much left to do in your life. If you don’t have any kids this is the easiest divorce that you can have, just split what you have and move on. There are many other women out there that you can have more in common with, next time though, don’t get married so quickly and really get to know the person you are with. No one is ever going to like the same things 100% of the time, but each person has to be willing to try and do the things their partner likes. If you love your wife, try talking to her first, maybe she would be willing to wear dresses more often and watch a different type of movie every now and then, if she really isn’t willing to try and you just aren’t in love with her anymore then you have a decision to make.
    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Why Doesn’t my boyfriend want to have sex with me anymore?

    The Question:

    We’ve been dating for over a year now but in the last few months our sex has drastically decreased, at first it started to go down from at least 1-2 times a day for at least 5 months and then it went down to 1-2 times a week and then to 1-2 times a month and now it’s been a month and a half since we’ve had sex. I’ve read a few articles about this already, but none seem to fit my problem exactly. I was worried for a while that it might be me that was the problem but he told me it wasn’t and I know he wouldn’t lie to me. I’ve asked him about it but he says there’s nothing wrong. I just don’t know what to do anymore. He’s only a year older than me and he’s suppose to be in his prime. Is there anything I can do? I Haven’t pressured him or anything because I don’t want him to do it just to shut me up. I want him to want to, and I’m just not satisfied anymore and I’m not asking for everyday, at this point once or twice a week would be nice. As far as I know there’s nothing he’s stressed about at work or school, could it be a combination of the 2? or something else going on that I don’t know about? And please keep in mind that I am searching for help and advice and I don’t want to hear find a new boyfriend. I love him and I’m not leaving him, even if it means were not going to have sex anymore, but it’s frustration for the time being as I find it a tad odd that I want it more than he does, and I don’t really want to talk to any of my friends about it because I live in a small town and this is personal and I don’t need everyone talking about it, and the last thing I want him to feel is embarrassed. I haven’t told anyone of my friends but I’m in need of some advice. Any Ideas?

    My response:

    Dear no sex;

    Unfortunately we cannot read the minds of a man, and the only way to get answers is asking him. I know you asked him and he said everything was fine, but it obviously isn’t fine. Don’t feel ashamed to push a little, I know you said you don’t want him to have sex with you just to shut you up, tell him that, tell him you want him to want to have sex with you. You have needs too, and just like women, even if he isn’t in the mood, he needs to give it up sometimes. Sex is a very big thing in relationships, so I know you love him and you aren’t going to leave him, that you rather live without sex, well I’m sorry but this will eventually put a damp on your relationship. You need sex in a relationship it’s one of the many ways you show the attraction towards each other, the love that you two still share, without it, it can definitely cause problems. Open up to him, try coming on to him, put on a lingerie and call him into the bedroom. (Have you tried any of these things?) I know for a women, him not wanting to have sex is like a rejection because we don’t expect men to not want to have sex, but this is normal in some men, the stress from work or school like you stated could be a reason why he’s so pre-occupied with working late in the office and falling asleep in the office. This isn’t healthy for your relationship though, and you need to talk to him about this. I don’t want to say he’s having an affair, but sometimes this is the case in a man not wanting to have sex anymore with his girlfriend or wife. This could be far from the case, I am not sure how your relationship works and if he’s away from home a lot or not, I just have to put that out there as a result to him not wanting to have sex with you. As I stated though, there can be many more reasons other then an affair. If you want your relationship to work you need to communicate, that is the biggest step in trying to figure out what is wrong and getting back a little sex in your life.

    So lets review:

    1. Talk to him (Don’t be afraid that he’ll just have sex to shut you up). He needs to know how you feel.
    2. Dress up, come on to him, don’t sit around waiting for him to come to you.
    3. If all else fails… Communicate! (SEX is very important in a relationship). Don’t hold back, you deserve someone who will fulfill your needs.

    Good luck…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    This was an old post I found on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Jump into the Jacuzzi with Ex or Current BF?

    I was scanning the web when I bumped into this article “Ask Kitty” the Title “Kitty Jumps into the Jacuzzi”.

    The women wrote as follows:

    “My company has a Jacuzzi on the 15th floor of our office building and I’m dying to try it out. There is a special guy in my life, but I’m thinking water sports should involve someone I can get wild and crazy with, i.e., my biker ex-boyfriend. Prior to our breakup, I promised him a romp in the tub, but we never got around to it. Would it be super-scandalous if I took him up there instead of my bf? And do we need to use a rubber? My bff told me the hot water will kill the sperm. A baby would be a clear indication I’ve cheated.” (you can find the link below, if you want to see Kitty’s response). ~Juana Getwhet

    My Response:

    Dear Juana,

    First I would like to acknowledge the fact that you stated you had a best friend who told you hot water will kill sperm. First tell your friend to take some classes on “how to get pregnant”. YES, You can get pregnant in water, jacuzzi, pool with chlorine, any type of water anywhere that you aren’t using protection you can get pregnant. (Water will also not stop any transmitted diseases). I advise you get on a birth control pill because using a condom in the water can easily break. (Remember birth control pills also won’t help with transmitted diseases). BTW…(Sorry if I’m too blunt, but I don’t want you to make a mistake that you’ll later regret). As you indicated “A baby would be a clear indication that you cheated”. Along with many other responsibilities you’ll have to deal with later. Now back to the rump in the jacuzzi with someone who is “wild & crazy”. Have you even tried talking to your current man about getting wild & crazy in the jacuzzi on the 15th floor? How do you know he won’t be up for it? I guarantee any man wouldn’t pass an invitation like that up. If by chance he does turn you down, maybe you should re-think him being your man. My only other concern is the fact that just because your ex and you had discussed doing something like this, why would you even give him that chance to do that with you now that he is your EX? Perhaps you aren’t quiet over you ex? Issues we wold have to discuss another time.

    In Conclusion:

    Talk to your new man and have that wild & crazy night in the jacuzzi with him, not your Ex. And remember to always use protection.

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

    If you want to read what Kitty’s response was you can link Here.