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  • Sometimes we have hard choices to make…

    Random Thoughts:

    Sometimes we have to make hard choices in life and look for a sign from God, or from the Universe to tell us that what we are doing is okay, that what we are about to do is right, sometimes deep inside we have to trust our feelings and we need to realize that maybe if we need to see a sign, maybe if we need to think about it so much, that maybe that just means it isn’t the right thing to do.

    As we grow older we start to realize the mistakes we have made growing up, the stupid things we used to do when we thought “it won’t happen to me”, and the life lessons that brought us to where we are today. At my age, I can’t say that I have been through it all, because I haven’t and I know that there is so much worse in the world, but at my age I also know that I have been through much more than most. I can’t sit here and cry over the things that have happened and I can’t pretend that they never did (even though some things I wish I could turn back time on), it is what it is, and it has truly made me into the person I am today.

    When you think your world is crumbling down, think about the people out there that have it worse then you, and remember that behind every shut door there is another one waiting to be open.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • My boss friend requested me on FB?..

    The Question:

    Would you find it strange if your male boss made a friend request to you on Facebook? If you were working there for a week only…
    He’s not exactly the friendliest guy either…he’s okay but a little nerdy lol

    I kind of feel like I have no other choice but to except because it’s a good job and I don’t want him to hate me for not accepting him… What should I do?
    (Revised – KN)

    My Response:

    Dear Friend Request;

    I do find it a little strange considering he is your boss and you have only been working there a week. If you don’t want to deny him the friendship request I would add him to a list that you can create under your Privacy Settings. You can manage what some can see and what others can’t see. For example; you can add him to the privacy setting where he cannot see any of your personal information or any of your pictures, and he can only see your wall. If he asks, just tell him you do not have any pictures up and that you barely log onto Facebook. Create your Privacy Settings before requesting him, and if he asks you if you got his friend request tell him you barely log on, so you haven’t seen it. (This way he doesn’t think you are ignoring his friend request), but don’t bring it up so that it makes it look like you really haven’t seen the request, don’t mention it unless he does first…

    I don’t think management should request Facebook friendships, I think it can be awkward and or snooping on their part. If it’s too much just take Facebook off for a while, but I do not think it is necessary if you add him to a privacy list.

    Good luck

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • I need a break from Marriage…

    The Question:

    I used to have no problems with my married life. Now I find myself often wanting to be alone… I got married young-ish (25), I am still in love 8 years later, I am just tired of sharing my space 24/7… What can I do?

    My Response:

    Dear Need Space;

    If you are still in love with your wife then this is good. You just need your space, which sometimes is understandable. Take time for yourself, whether it is a hot bath, reading a book or grabbing a glass of wine (yes guys do this too) and if you need more space then that, maybe join a gym and take time off by working out. Go out with a friend to a coffee shop, or a bar to watch the latest sports game. The point is, take some time for you and spend it either by yourself or with some friends. A marriage takes a lot of work but it does not mean that you can’t take a day for yourself. Take a day out of the week or out of the month to do YOU!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My Best Friend might Cheat on her Husband…

    The Question:

    Do you think my married best friend is playing with fire? I’m fuming inside knowing this… My best friend has a wonderful, caring, good-looking husband and children. They seem to have everything going for them. There’s this married man we both know who’s high profile in the community. I’m a single mom btw. Anyway, he became friendly with me and we had a so-called emotional affair for a few years; I guess I was desperate and vulnerable and I regret it all. Now I’m sure he’s after my best friend because he went over for lunch at her place yesterday and the hubby wasn’t there; this is confirmed. He now invited them to his place, at the same time as me and my child (while the wife is gone of course). What should I do? Ignore him and my “best friend”? I can’t believe this is happening.
    — He obviously uses the kids to get through to the mom. He has 2 failed marriages under his belt and is a player, no doubt about that one.

    My Response:

    Dear Friend;

    It really is not your business and your friend is a grown woman so she can do has she pleases. I would stay out of it and just do your own thing. Getting involved might just cause drama you don’t really need in your life. If you feel you can’t stay quiet then confront your friend and talk to her, but after that it is her decision whether or not she pursues anything with this man. After this, just leave it alone and try not to get involved in something that really has nothing to do with you.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • In the end we all question life…

    Random Thoughts:

    In the end we all question life…

    We question what we could have done differently, we question life and the meaning, we question if we are truly happy with the choices we made in life. In the end we have to live with the choices we made in life whether or not we like them, because life is a journey none of us expect, a journey that takes you through the high mountains, the beaches, the sunsets, the storms and the unknowns.

    Life in general is scary, we are born into a world we do not know of, a world we can not control, and when you look back at the decisions we have made we sit and wonder if they were the right ones or the wrong ones.

    We learn that we cannot turn back time and no matter how much we hope to change the past or the future all we can do is walk straight into it and hope that what we are walking into, what will make us happy will be what we have worked so hard to get and we hope that all the tears and all the pains in life weren’t for nothing, and we hope that the scars caused by them will diminish and the walls built will crumble down and in a split second of wondering ‘how did I get here’ you stop and think about all the things in life that got you here, the people who tried so hard to steer you in the right direction, the hard choices you had to make in leaving or staying, and the wonder if life were different “where would I be”?

    I look back at my life and I wish I had made some different choices, but I do not regret life, I do not regret the road I chose because we cannot turn back time, we cannot regret the things we chose and the things we will choose, but we can guide ourselves and open our minds to the unknown, open our minds to things we did not think possible. We can open our hearts and minds to the wisdom the people around us convey, and we can listen and truly think about the decisions we will make. Decisions that can change your entire life in a single moment, decisions that can change your whole way of living and thinking and feeling. Open your eyes to the unknown, don’t be naive or blind or childish about the decisions you need to make in life. Life is short, and life is confusing and when the world seems to leave us alone in a single room with no room to turn to, you have to know that at the end of that room, there is always a door. A door filled with possibilities, a door filled with love and encouragement, a door filled with people that care for you, but if you choose to stay in that room, if you choose to close yourself off and believe that the world you are living in right now is real, this fairytale of illusions you have built for yourself, if you choose to believe only this, then you will choose a path that you will have to own up to for the rest of your life.

    In the end we all question life… but it’s up to you to be happy with the outcome and answers you make in life.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Would you be upset if your Husband…

    The Question:

    I had my nephews 10th birthday tonight and we had dinner at La Porchetta, with the family… so my husband and I and our 2 kids were invited. My husband didn’t come, and blew me off; went out with his mates to a poker game! He has NEVER done this! He ALWAYS comes to family dinners etc especially if he is not working and is home etc..
    I was more ANGRY but now I am just upset 🙁
    My kids are 3 1/2 and 6 months. My husband does work hard and has different shifts at work so there is issues about how much we see each other and family time etc… he goes away for work stays over nights etc and then comes back the next day or after; so my question is would you be upset if your husband did this? or am I overreacting???
    He didn’t forget about the birthday either; I told him and he was home when I left!! He just wanted to go play cards with his mates instead…

    My Response:

    Dear Upset;

    I would sit down with your husband and communicate to him how you feel. This was a family event; and even though it is not his kid and it is your side of the family, you are married, and these kind of events are the kind that you know you have to go to. He could go any other night to play poker with his friends. I would definitely have a talk with him and tell him how you feel. You have young children and maybe he is feeling overwhelmed and needed a break, but this is no excuse! Talk to him, and find out what is really going on…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • No anniversary sex?…

    The Question:

    No anniversary sex. Was I wrong to expect a little action from my wife?
    Yesterday was me and my wife’s 1st anniversary. We went to church as usual. I’m a Sunday school teacher so I left before her. After church I go by the store to get the last few thing so I could cook her dinner. Money is tight because I am unemployed so I couldn’t afford to take her out or anything like that. I ended up going to two stores. By the time I got home she was there sitting in the bedroom watching TV or reading a book or something. I spend several hours prepping and cooking dinner. The whole time I may have sat down for about 10 minutes. When it was ready I fixed her plate as well as the kids. We sit down to eat and just being off my feet for that short time when I stood back up my feet were killing me but I kept going. I asked my wife if she wouldn’t mind cleaning up the kitchen and she basically said no because I use too many dishes when I cook. I spent several hours cooking dinner then it took me all of 15 minutes to load the dishwasher and clean the kitchen. Nobody said she had to wash them by hand. All the while my wife has left the bedroom maybe 3 times. She was still relaxing on the bed. After I got the kids in bed and go back to the bedroom me and my wife watch a little more TV then the next thing I know is that she’s hugging her pillow snoring. Let me clear this up. Our kids are teenagers and I just made sure they had their clothes ironed for school the next day and that they turned off everything in the other part of the house. I turn off the TV and that sort of startled her and she wakes up. We’re laying there in the dark and I’m waiting to see if my wife was gonna make any kind of move. She doesn’t. I mean, it was our anniversary and she literally had done nothing all day. What was she tired for? What she tells me is, “why don’t you go on to sleep!”. I then get up and as I’m walking out she asks me what the matter is and I tell her that if she hasn’t figured if out by now then never mind.

    Did she expect me to make the first move? I thought women likes if when a man took on more duties and chores and that gets a woman in the mood? I did all that work and she pretty much rested bur once the kids were in the bed she was too tired. You hear it all the time. A man with a vacuum is a turn on. I guess the problem is this. I typically do most of the cooking anyway so maybe that was really nothing special to her that I cooked yesterday.

    Was I wrong to expect some action on our 1st year anniversary? And ladies, don’t come at me like “well maybe she wanted you to just wait on her this time!”. I do the majority of the cooking in the house anyway.

    Was I wrong to expect sex or at least a little action from my wife?

    My Response:

    Dear House Hubby;

    Let’s start off with the fact that it is your one year anniversary but you have teenage kids? Technically it may be your one year anniversary but I am assuming that you have been together for much longer than a year since you have teenage kids together. With that said, an anniversary is an anniversary, and although you do not have a job at the moment and normally cook, she needs to appreciate the fact that you do a lot around the house and for the kids. You need to sit down with your wife and tell her how you feel. Communication is key and if you do not talk to each other then nothing is going to change. She may think it is okay for you to do everything since you are not working at the moment, but the fact that you cooked, she should have helped clean up and do the dishes. Especially since it was your anniversary and all. I know it isn’t right and I think that your wife should have maybe set something up in the bedroom while you were out there being the ‘house wife’; but you also could have just tried spicing it up in the bedroom; especially after you saw she was not about to do anything. Again, I really think this should have been her move, since she didn’t do anything else the entire night, so I can understand how you are feeling. Talk to your wife, just because you are unemployed at the current moment does not mean she doesn’t have to help you around the house. On another note: Your kids are teenagers, they need to start helping you around the house. You could have had your kids clean up the kitchen so that mom and dad can enjoy their anniversary time together. Find a way to find a balance in your life and in your relationship.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • How come my Husband doesn’t divorce me even though he is living with his girlfriend?

    The Question:

    How come my Husband doesn’t divorce me even though he is living with his girlfriend?

    Me and my husband separated a year ago because he cheated on me, and he believes that I have cheated on him (I really haven’t). Now he is living with one of his ex-girlfriends and she asked him to call me & tell me that he wants a divorce. This hurt me really bad because I still love him very much. Then he secretly calls back saying that he will never divorce me and that he will always love me. What does that mean? I wonder if he still loves me and wants to work it out someday in the future… any men have similar stories or might have an idea what he may be thinking?

    My Response:

    Dear in DENIAL;

    I’m sorry if I am going to be blunt, but WAKE UP!!! He cheated on you and now he is living with an ex girlfriend, what more do you want him to do in order for you to realize that he is a looser? You deserve more then that, you deserve someone who will love you and not cheat on you, and please do not say that your husband truly loves you, because if he did he would have never cheated on you, and if he did he wouldn’t be living with his ex-girlfriend right now. Your husband is manipulating you, he has the best of both worlds; a wife at home waiting for him and a girlfriend who he gets to sleep with and live with. In other words… your husband is having his cake and eating it too…. I know….cliche metaphor but it is what it is. Don’t let him walk over you and stand up for yourself; if you want to make your marriage work tell him but honestly the trust is so broken that it is probably going to be a very hard road ahead of you to even try to fix things between the two of you. Respect yourself enough to not take such emotional abuse and Love yourself enough to know that you DESERVE BETTER!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on <a/ href=”http://answers.yahoo.com”>Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My boyfriend has started beating me?

    The Question:
    I have been staying with my boyfriend for a year, but recently he has started to lose his temper and beat me. He is kind and loving 90 percent of the time, should I leave him because you know the beating will never stop?

    My Response:

    Dear Abused;

    I think you already know the answer here. If you even have to ask then the answer should be obvious, but just in case…. My answer would be YES Leave him, and not just because he probably won’t stop, but because this is not love! Someone who loves you won’t dare put a hand on you, no only is it disrespectful but it’s physical abuse and no person should ever have to go through this. If he has a bad temper it could only get worse, he needs help and he is the only one that is going to have to want to get the kind of help he needs, but if you stick around it can only get worse from here. Respect yourself and Love yourself enough to get out of a relationship you already know is no good for you. Find someone that will respect you and love you and won’t lead to violence just because he gets upset about something.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My boyfriends mum is having an affair what do I do?

    The Question:

    My boyfriend had told me that when he was younger his mum had an affair and his parents split up for a while but now they are back together. His mum goes out a few times a week dancing or with friends but always comes back at funny hours, considering clubs close at 3 she doesn’t come home until 6. I have also seen her sending text messages saying ‘you will always have my heart’ etc to an unsaved number in her phone which she then deletes. I want to tell my boyfriend or his sister but I don’t want to stress him out as he is coming towards the end of university and needs to concentrate on his work and his sister is getting married in June and I don’t want her family to be upset/arguing on her big day. Should I just ignore it?

    My Response:

    Dear Knows Too Much;

    This is a very hard situation to be placed in. If you don’t tell him, and he finds out you knew he might be upset that you didn’t tell him, but on the other hand it really isn’t any of your business. I would honestly more than likely stay out of it, at least for now until after your boyfriend finishes his exams and his sister gets married. And honestly I am sure they aren’t oblivious to the fact that the clubs close at 3am and she doesn’t come home until 6am. I am sure they have noticed this too and I am sure their dad notices as well. Perhaps they are in denial because they do not want to believe that she would do this to their family again. I would stay out of it for now. I am not sure how you even saw her phone messages, especially if she deletes it soon after, BUT just stay away from it all. After all the exams and wedding then decide if you can keep this secret from your boyfriend. Although this is not your business, he is your boyfriend, and trust is a big factor in any relationship. Put yourself in his shoes, would you truly want to know if your mother was cheating on your dad yet again? Or would you rather just not know???

    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com