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Tag: cheating

  • Advice Column: My wife cheated on me

    Advice Column: My wife cheated on me

    Advice Column – My Wife cheated on me – Photo from http://www.google.com/images

     

    Advice Column:

    I found out recently that my wife was cheating and emailing old boyfriends (2 different guys); during 10 years of her sneakiness she kept her self in unbelievable shape and always looked hot. After I confronted her she said she was so sorry and she loved me and she made a mistake.The problem is, that now that her sneakiness has stopped she is not worrying about how she looks and is gaining weight. I know this looks so obvious on the surface but what do you think it really means ??

    Is this just another sign of her not being happy with me so she doesn’t have to look sexy any longer.

    My Response:

    Dear Wife’s Too Comfortable;

    First lets start off with that your wife cheated on you and you are still with her. Why are you with her? Don’t you think you deserve someone who doesn’t need to cheat on you to later realize they really want to be with you? Second – her gaining weight and not looking good for you can mean different things. Every women is different, personally I like to stay looking good for me and also because there are other women out there and it feels good to keep your man happy. It could mean that she is no longer cheating and has realized that although she’s happy with you, she now doesn’t have to worry about her appearance. I mean if you stayed with her after she cheated on you, why would you leave her if she gained some weight? Or she can simply just not care anymore. I think you should sit down with your wife and talk to her if you aren’t happy. Looks aren’t everything and I am not saying someone in the relationship is not allowed to gain weight, you should love the other person no matter what. I just find it strange that she kept herself up really nice when cheating on you, but now is just letting herself go. Again – COMMUNICATION is key, talk to your wife and see what she’s feeling. A happy relationship needs communication, if you don’t talk, you will never know the answer to your question.

    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

    (Edited 2010)

  • Advice Column: Husband wants to be a swinger

    Advice Column: Husband wants to be a swinger. Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: Husband wants to be a swinger

    Dear Kristin Nicole

    My husband asked me the other day if I was willing to go to a swingers club with him. I don’t know what to think of this. We have been married for only 2 years. Is he bored of me already that he wants to sleep with other people? I asked him why he would want to go to a swingers club and he said he just wanted to spice things up for us. I thought we had pretty good sex, so I am not sure what I can do. I don’t feel comfortable sleeping with other people or my husband sleeping with other people but I’m scared that if I don’t go he will cheat on me and leave me. Do I go so that I don’t lose him? Or do I tell him no, and hope he doesn’t leave me.
    ~Swinger

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Swinger;

    If you want my personal opinion then I would say NO…. I don’t think that in a marriage people should sleep with other people. If you are married, you should be committed and happy to be with just that one person. How long have you known your husband? Has he always been a little freaky or ever indicated that he wanted to be a swinger? If this is something new that he suddenly brought up then you need to really sit down with your husband and tell him how you feel. If he is willing to end your marriage just because you don’t believe swinging is the answer to better sex, then maybe you need to truly think about what kind of man you married. Do you want to be with a man that wants to sleep with other women and that is willing for his wife to sleep with other men? Tell your husband that you are willing to try other things in the bedroom and spice it up in other ways but if you don’t feel comfortable going to a swingers club then you need to speak up. Giving in and going just because your husband wants to might end up badly in the end. You may end up resenting him for making you go. Go with your gut feeling and talk to your husband. If he loves you I am sure he will be okay with whatever decision you make.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    (2011)

  • Advice Column: Affair with a married man

    Advice Column: Affair with a married man – Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: Affair with a married man

    I’m a 17 year old girl, who recently started talking to a 23 year old guy from across the country. He told me straight up that he has two baby boys, which didn’t bother me because we weren’t anything serious. Well we texted all the time and talked on the phone, but when he oddly kept refusing to add me on Facebook I demanded to know why. He admitted to being in a loveless, miserable marriage. They’ve been married for four years and he’s slept with a few other women. He suspects her of cheating on him while he was stationed in Korea and doesn’t think that his oldest son is really his. I’m a very understanding person and continued talking to him despite his personal life. But now it’s at the point where he says he has too big of a heart to leave his wife and kids, and I don’t know what to do. I like him but knowing he sits out in his car every night after work to call me while his wife is inside sleeping just doesn’t feel right. It’s too much! He’s an amazing guy and although I don’t think what he’s doing is right, I also feel like I shouldn’t play along. It just kills me because I know how unhappy and utterly miserable he is with her. What should I do?
    ~17

    My Response:

    Dear 17;

    I think you already know the answer to your question and you just need for someone else to confirm what you have already been thinking and feeling. You stated; “and though I don’t think what he’s doing is right, I also feel like I shouldn’t play along.” Do you need any other answer besides that one? The guy can’t be too good of a guy if he’s cheating on his wife constantly and lying to her. He doesn’t live close to you and all you have is a phone relationship. You are much too young to be worrying about a guy with so many problems. You need to be having fun and start dating guys more your age. Enjoy your life and stop worrying about a guy who is cheating on his wife and his family with other women and sneaking off at night to talk to you. Close the door to this relationship and move on.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com (2011)

  • Advice Column: My husband’s cheated

    Advice Column: My husband’s cheated. Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: My husband’s cheated…

    The Question:

    I’m getting confused about my husband…

    My husband has started being secretive about things, hiding passwords and such. I recently was able to see his Facebook page and my thoughts were true, [sic] he’s on there chatting with other women and giving his number out. When I confronted him with this, he took me off his friends page so I couldn’t even see what he is doing. He cheated once before so the trust isn’t strong between us. Also a young girl that really isn’t my friend told me she has been friends with him and that he is willing to be more than friends. He is asking for her number and has yet to come out and say he is married. I’m getting to the point where I don’t want him around and I have to be almost drunk to have sex with him because its hard to want someone who clearly doesn’t want you. I’m going into a state of depression and I know it wont be good for my kids to see me like this. I have asked him to leave many time but he claims he wont because there is nothing wrong with flirting. What do I do?

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Open Your Eyes;

    Let’s start with the fact that the trust is already gone because he has already cheated on you once. That should have been the first sign to get out! If your husband took you off his friends list on his Facebook, I would definitely think something is going on. You already saw his Facebook and got proof that he is talking to other women and giving his number out (although there is no proof that he has physically cheated on you, this is still a form of emotional cheating), you also said that another woman told you that he would be more than friends with her and you were never even mentioned as his wife. What more do you want?

    Do you need to actually catch him cheating on you again, to finally realize that this guy is a looser and that he really does not love you? I’m sorry and I don’t mean to be harsh, but you need to wake up and realize that you can do so much better then this guy. You said it yourself “I have to be almost drunk to have sex with him because it’s hard to want someone who clearly doesn’t want you.” You already know what you need to do and although you said he won’t leave even after you asked him, you need to tell him that this ISN’T HIS CHOICE to make.

    He needs to get out of your house, or you will leave somewhere else with the kids. I don’t know if you have family or friends that you can talk to, but if you do you need to see if you can stay with them. Tell him you want his stuff out of the house by a certain date and you will not return until it is done. You have kids with this man, and it is not good to be depressed and for them to see what their father is doing to you. He needs to grow up and commit. He obviously was not ready for that the first time he cheated on you. And like I said earlier that should have been a clear sign to get out! I know it’s easier said than done but you need to get him out of your home and you need to pull your life back together with your kids. Stay strong and remember that no man should ever treat a woman the way your husband has treated you. There is no excuse to cheat or take you off his Facebook or lie to your face about talking to other women. If he’s lying to your face about something you saw with your own eyes this should make you wonder, what else he is lying about. Stay strong and move on with your life. You deserve a real man to love you and be with you. Good luck!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: My girlfriend is married

    Advice Column: Image found on google.com/images

    The Question:

    I am a 24 year old guy and I have girlfriend who is 31 years old, she is married, but we love each other and we are in a relationship. We have been in a relationship for the past 3 years, we share everything (sex) but I’m afraid of what will happen if she leaves far away (to a different state). She is calling me to have sex all the time, should I go or not? When I think about my love for her, I feel that I have to and want to go but when I think about her family I feel that I should stop. What do I do?

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Used;

    First of all, when you started a relationship with this women you knew she was married, so not only is she a cheater but you aren’t any better than she is knowing she is married and has a family. 3 YEARS!?! Wow, I can’t believe a relationship like this would go on for so long, do you realize she is only using you for the sex? This isn’t a relationship at all, you are only a booty call. She calls, you go, you sleep together, you leave and she stays the rest of her day with her family. She isn’t going to leave her husband, and even if she did, what makes you think the two of you would work out and she wouldn’t cheat on you later down the road. Is this the type of relationship you want? You are 24 years old, you are still young, and you have your whole life ahead of you, don’t throw it away on someone you think you love. Have respect for yourself and for her family who she is hurting and move on. Change your number and tell her that you don’t want anything to do with her anymore. Find a real women, a women that wouldn’t cheat on her family with another man, a women who would respect and love you and be with only you. Move on buddy….she’s just not that into you!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com (2010)

  • Advice Column: My ex-boyfriend left me for a 35 year old

     

    Advice Column: My ex-boyfriend left me for a 35 year old. Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: My ex-boyfriend left me for a 35 year old. Image found on flickr.com

    The Question: My ex-boyfriend left me for a 35 year old girl and we are both 22 years old. What should I do?

    My Response: 

    Dear Ex;

    There really isn’t anything you can do. If he left you for someone else then you have to try and move on. I know it’s not easy but everything happens for a reason. You may not see it now but he probably did you a favor. Besides, do you really want to be with someone who didn’t care enough about you. If he left you for someone else, then you deserve someone who wants to be with you and will love only you. Try going out with friends and keep yourself busy. It’s going to hurt, but truth is, there isn’t anything you can do but move on.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: Am I being paranoid?

    Advice Column: Am I being paranoid? Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: Am I being paranoid? Image found on flickr.com

    The Question: Am I being paranoid? My girlfriend has cheated on me before, recently she went out with a co-worker, ignored my calls and didn’t get home until 1:30am.

    She’s been unfaithful before and she said she doesn’t know why she did it. She met a guy from work at around 5:00 pm and didn’t get home until about 1:30 am, she ignored my texts the whole time. She talked about the windows of his car getting steamed up and misty so I’m thinking there’s something happening? He’s a guy from work that I’m pretty sure she mentioned him telling a co-worker that he has a thing for my girlfriend, but I’m not sure. She also said I can’t meet him because “it would be awkward.”When she last cheated on me, she told me the day after but she didn’t tell me the whole story until the word got around the whole college, and back to me. [sic]. She has then promised that she’d tell me everything and she’d never do it again. She also said the other day after arguing about being with me, “I don’t know what I want.” [sic]. I feel like I’m in love with this girl but she doesn’t seem to care about my feelings. Whenever I hint about me asking if she’s cheated she just says bye and ignores me and gets annoyed with me. [sic]. Someone please tell me what this means, am I being paranoid?

    (Edited)
    ~Being Paranoid
    My Response:
    Dear Being Paranoid;
    This isn’t called being paranoid, it’s called being in denial. She’s already cheated on you once, and now she goes out with a guy from work, ignores your calls, and tells you to your face that the windows were steaming? There is something very wrong with your girlfriend, it seems to me that she’s trying to get some type of rise from you.
    Why would you tell your boyfriend that you went out with a co-worker, the car windows got steamy, but then try to act as if nothing happened? The first time she cheated on you, that was the red flag to get out. You should have respect for yourself and you shouldn’t be with someone who obviously doesn’t care for you. If this girl loved you the way you love her, she wouldn’t have cheated on you the first time, and she definitely wouldn’t be going out with a co-worker and ignoring your calls.
    Another hint, is the fact that she doesn’t want you to meet the guy. Don’t you find this odd? The other guy probably doesn’t know she has a boyfriend, so meeting you would ruin whatever she has going on. You have a few choices, leave things alone and stay with her, always wondering if she’s cheating on you.  You can just show up to her job and introduce yourself, see how the guy reacts. Or you can take the high road, dump her a$$, have respect for yourself and find a girl who will truly care and love you in return.
    xo,
    kristin nicole
    I found this question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: I want to sleep with my boyfriend’s BF

    Advice Column: I want to sleep with my boyfriends best friend. Image found on Flickr.com
    Advice Column: I want to sleep with my boyfriends BF. Image found on Flickr.com

    Advice Column: I want to sleep with my boyfriend’s BF. What should I do?

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. I love him, I don’t want to break up with him, but I have always had a physical attraction to his best friend. I actually met his best friend first, and we flirted for a while but nothing happened. I then met my now boyfriend and we hit it off. I still flirt with his best friend all the time, and he flirts back. One time when my boyfriend wasn’t looking he grabbed my ass and told me how hot I looked. It turned me on, knowing my boyfriend was in the other room. Another time I was wearing a skirt and we were all out to dinner, under the table he touched me. It was exciting and I just wanted to take him right there and kiss him. I don’t want to hurt my boyfriend but I can’t help my sexual feelings for his best friend. Should I just sleep with him and get it out of my system? Do I leave it alone? Help.

    ~ Attracted to my boyfriend’s Best Friend

    My Response:

    Dear Attracted to the boyfriend’s Best Friend;

    It is never a good idea to cheat on your boyfriend, let a lone with his best friend. If you are having feelings for his best friend and his best friend has made moves on you, then you need to break up with your boyfriend. If you really loved him, you wouldn’t have allowed his best friend to touch you while out to dinner. I don’t think you should ever sleep with a boyfriend’s best friend or an ex’s best friend. But it is ultimately your choice. I would break up with your boyfriend and talk to the best friend. This may just be a physical attraction and you may lose something that was more special. But you never know, maybe this will turn into much more. On another note: If he was really a good person or friend, he wouldn’t be hitting on or touching his best friend’s girlfriend. I don’t care who met who first, it’s just wrong.

    Look deep into your relationship, if you were really in love, you wouldn’t be messing around with his best friend. If the best friend really cared about his friend, he wouldn’t be messing around with his girlfriend. You say you don’t want to hurt your boyfriend but if you sleep with his best friend you are only going to hurt him. There really isn’t any way around this.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

  • Advice Column: My ex cheated on me, is there something wrong me?

     

    Advice Column:
    Advice Column: My ex cheated on me. Image found on flickr.com

    My Question: 

    My ex cheated on me, is there something wrong with me?

    I had a happy relationship with a guy and he cheated on me. Is there something wrong with me? Is it my fault?

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Cheated On;

    You can’t blame yourself for someone else’s actions. Some men don’t know what they have at home and unfortunately cheating is the ultimate betrayal. There is definitely nothing wrong with you. You may not see the reasons behind his actions and it may hurt a lot now, but I promise it will get better. Time heals all wounds. Move on, go out with your friends and start meeting new people. Go out on dates and find a guy that will appreciate you more than your ex did.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

    I found your question on Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: Half naked pictures of my boyfriends ex on his phone.

     

    Advice Column: Half naked ex on my boyfriends phone. Image found on flickr.com
    Advice Column: Half naked pictures of my boyfriends ex on his phone. Image found on flickr.com

    The Question:

    I found half naked pictures of my boyfriends ex on his phone. Please help.

    My boyfriend and I have been together off and on for 10 years. We have been going through a lot of things lately like loosing our house, the death of our 15 year old dog, and family issues. We have been fighting quite a bit. The other day he got a new phone and wanted me to install a new sim card (holds your photos) in his phone. When I went in to the picture area I noticed a half naked photo of a girl he use to date. There were two of them from a couple of months ago. During that time I yelled at him because I found out he was snap chatting her (sending pictures back and forth in an app.) He told me that they were just saying hi and catching up. I decided to let that go. But now I find out that when they were talking a couple of months ago, that this is when she actually sent him those pictures. I called him and packed some of my things and just left our house. He said that he has never cheated on me and never will. He knows he was in the wrong but he deleted the pictures and he didn’t know they were in his phone anymore. I personally think that what he did is cheating, but he doesn’t think it is. He said he did not cheat and I just do not know what to do. What should I do?

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    This is a hard situation to be in. Your boyfriend may have not physically cheated on you but this is definitely a form of cheating; it’s emotional cheating. You should sit down with him and talk to him, tell him how you feel and tell him he has one chance to be completely honest with you. In the end it will be your decision as to whether or not you trust him and want to stay with him. Regardless of what happened, this will still hurt and you have to either forgive him and move on, or move on completely.

    xo,

    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Yahoo.com