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Tag: cheating

  • Jump into the Jacuzzi with Ex or Current BF?

    I was scanning the web when I bumped into this article “Ask Kitty” the Title “Kitty Jumps into the Jacuzzi”.

    The women wrote as follows:

    “My company has a Jacuzzi on the 15th floor of our office building and I’m dying to try it out. There is a special guy in my life, but I’m thinking water sports should involve someone I can get wild and crazy with, i.e., my biker ex-boyfriend. Prior to our breakup, I promised him a romp in the tub, but we never got around to it. Would it be super-scandalous if I took him up there instead of my bf? And do we need to use a rubber? My bff told me the hot water will kill the sperm. A baby would be a clear indication I’ve cheated.” (you can find the link below, if you want to see Kitty’s response). ~Juana Getwhet

    My Response:

    Dear Juana,

    First I would like to acknowledge the fact that you stated you had a best friend who told you hot water will kill sperm. First tell your friend to take some classes on “how to get pregnant”. YES, You can get pregnant in water, jacuzzi, pool with chlorine, any type of water anywhere that you aren’t using protection you can get pregnant. (Water will also not stop any transmitted diseases). I advise you get on a birth control pill because using a condom in the water can easily break. (Remember birth control pills also won’t help with transmitted diseases). BTW…(Sorry if I’m too blunt, but I don’t want you to make a mistake that you’ll later regret). As you indicated “A baby would be a clear indication that you cheated”. Along with many other responsibilities you’ll have to deal with later. Now back to the rump in the jacuzzi with someone who is “wild & crazy”. Have you even tried talking to your current man about getting wild & crazy in the jacuzzi on the 15th floor? How do you know he won’t be up for it? I guarantee any man wouldn’t pass an invitation like that up. If by chance he does turn you down, maybe you should re-think him being your man. My only other concern is the fact that just because your ex and you had discussed doing something like this, why would you even give him that chance to do that with you now that he is your EX? Perhaps you aren’t quiet over you ex? Issues we wold have to discuss another time.

    In Conclusion:

    Talk to your new man and have that wild & crazy night in the jacuzzi with him, not your Ex. And remember to always use protection.

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

    If you want to read what Kitty’s response was you can link Here.

  • My girlfriend is texting with another guy

    I don’t know if you are familiar with Yelp.com, but I was going through the threads when this question popped up:

    The Question:

    Its been almost a year and my girlfriend keeps texting back and forward with a coworker I was competing with when we were dating. This guy keeps telling her how beautiful she is and texting her when she is not at work. Initially I didn’t mind the competition but when she became mine, I let it go but this guy keeps coming back. Should I have a talk with her? I am not a jealous guy but I don’t want to be play a fool. Help!
    Thanks.

    My Thoughts:

    Dear Mr. Not Jealous

    Lets start off with my first question. Is your girlfriend texting this guy back?!?

    You don’t want to cause conflicts at work if you work with this guy, so I would advise you talk to your girlfriend. You say you guys have been together for a year now, and that should mean open and honest communication with each other. Tell her how you feel, and have her text him back asking him to please not text her anymore. If she loves you and she wants your relationship to work, I see no problem in her doing this.

    If she has a problem texting and telling this guy to stop texting her, then maybe there is something else behind these texts. If she’s texting him back, maybe he thinks it’s okay to tell your girlfriend she is beautiful. This is a disrespect to you and your relationship and he also needs to know that he’s stepping over his boundaries. Maybe go up to him nicely and ask him to please stop texting your girlfriend, that you don’t appreciate it. If this is too straight forward for you and you feel this may cause conflict (as I stated above) in the work place then speak to your girlfriend and have her tell him to stop.

    If she refuses then maybe you need to sit down and see what she wants out of your relationship, because if she’s going to continue flirting and texting with this guy then maybe you need to re-evaluate your relationship.

    XO,
    Kristin Nicole

  • Married, Pregnant & now he’s cheating…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    My husband and I have been together for two years, married for one, and I have our first one on the way. At first, he was uber-excited when I showed him the ultrasound pictures, but after month four, all the happiness stopped. Now, he’s either sleeping right after he gets off work until he has to go back, or else he’s up all night texting/”playing video games” when I know he’s sneaking out of the house for God only knows what. I have reason to believe that he’s been seeing another woman, but I don’t have any money to leave him, as he comes from a rich family and all of mine has disowned me. If I left him, he would get custody because he’d be better-suited to care for the baby, but he’d never do it because he likes to sleep for (at least) sixteen hours at a time, and I doubt his little redheaded hussy would want to raise a kid that’s not hers. He doesn’t say he loves me anymore, he wants nothing to do with me if I start talking about the pregnancy… if I bring it up, he leaves the room, or starts talking about bills and how we’re financially screwed from now on. I don’t have any friends to rely on, because they’re all still in the partying stage (basically, when I stopped drinking every weekend, they stopped talking to me), and I haven’t heard from any of them in about two years. Depressed, exhausted and running out of options. Oh, and for the icing on the cake? Whenever my “loving hubby” has talked about having kids, they’d always had red hair in his dream. Please help.

    My Response:

    Dear Exhausted;

    You are in a hard situation. There a few things you can try to do. First you need try and talk with your husband to see what is going on. Tell him how you are feeling, because if you don’t communicate then he isn’t going to know how you feel and you are going to continue to feel depressed and alone through a time that should be happy for the both of you. Some men get scared when a family is on the way, but he needs to man up and be a husband a father to this child. I don’t condemn the cheating, and I understand that your situation isn’t as easy as pick and go. Although your situation is hard, personally I wouldn’t stay with a man who is cheating on me, especially when we are about to start a family, he is practically just spitting in your face (which to me is one of the most disgusting things a person can do to another). I would try to make mends with your family, family should be there for one another and unless you don’t try to mend things with them you won’t know if perhaps they will forgive you and help you out. As for your friends, those are not friends if they stopped talking to you just because you can’t go partying anymore with them, friends will be around no matter what if they were your true friends. I am not sure if you have a job, but it doesn’t matter if your husband makes more money then you do and staying with him just because he makes more money isn’t going to make you happy. If you don’t have a job, find a job that will help support you and your child if need be. You can always go to a lawyer and get a free consultation, they will explain to you your rights and what can happen if you decide to leave your husband and file for custody of your child. I don’t know where you live but some states do not allow cheating on your spouse, and you will have a big case right there if in fact he is cheating on you. I live in Miami, and in Florida it’s a “no fault state” so cheating wouldn’t help in a case like yours. You are in a hard spot, try talking to your husband first and try mending things with your family whether you stay with your husband or not, because I am sure they would love to see your baby one day. I don’t know the full story so I’m not sure the extent of why you don’t talk to your family but this is a time that you need them the most. Remember to love yourself and no matter how hard a situation may be, there is always a choice to leave. You deserve better than what your husband is doing to you right now.

    If you need to talk don’t hesitate to email me.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • My wife is cheating on me via web cam…

    The Question:

    Discovered My Wife has been on the web cam with some man over the past several months?
    Over the last Year, My wife has been acting very strange. Her temper has been very erratic. She has been evasive with me. Pushing me away when I try to get her in the mood. I don’t know what’s gotten into her. I knew something was up with her. I knew that she had been talking to another man, I know this next part was wrong of me. But the other night she went out with her sister and some friends. I got on her laptop and guessed her password. On the first try I got the password correct! I was able to see her ” Voice Call History” And found out that since April 15th 2010, she has had about 30-40 Voice ” Web Cam” Sessions with some other man from Ohio! How do I go about confronting her with this? The Web Caming happened usually around 4-6AM, sometimes in the early afternoon. The last time she was on the web cam with him was over 4th of July while I was out at a company BBQ, I’m so upset that I feel like I’m going to punch a hole in the wall. I cannot read the actual emails back and forth because she has deleted them all.

    How should I go about confronting her over this? I just don’t understand why she would be this stupid. I found photos of the guy she was doing it with and he’s some Young, Punk. Guy looks like he’s in his early 20’s. My wife has on her profile that she’s 28 years old when she’s actually 41. Imp just Furious!!! What should I do?

    My Response:

    Dear Web Cam;

    Your wife can be going through a midlife crisis of some sort, or perhaps just is not happy in your marriage. This doesn’t excuse what your wife has done. I would confront her and talk to her. It’s not going to be easy and you have to be prepare yourself to hear things you might not want to hear. You are going to have choices, you can either talk with your wife and seek counseling to try and keep your marriage alive, or you can take some time off and think about staying in a marriage that has been full of lies. No person should have to go through what you are about to go through and what your wife is doing is inexcusable. I don’t think you really need someone to tell you what to do here, I think you already know what you need to do, but you might be a little scared to confront her. Having to hear the truth about what you have been suspecting is never easy, but you have to face the truth and move forward.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answer.Yahoo.com

  • Is it kind of usual now for parents to cheat on each other?

    The Question:

    Is it kind of usual now for parents to cheat on each other?

    My dad first cheated on my mum when I was around 10. From then he’s had about 3 affairs with different women, all who are after his money but he’s too blind and stubborn to see that. I just want to know if that’s kind of normal in families now.

    My Response:

    Dear Normal;

    This is not normal and I’m sorry you have had to know and see what your dad does to your mom since the age of 10. No parent, man, women, or anyone should cheat on the other. It’s infidelity and betrayal in the worst possible way. If you love someone you don’t cheat on them. What your dad has done to your mom isn’t right, and if your mom has stuck it out with your dad, I’m sure she has her reasons, or she is just in denial and didn’t want to break up the marriage. Your mom could have also stayed with your dad thinking it was “best for the children”. Have you ever tried sitting down with your mom and telling her what you know? Have you ever tried confronting your father? Sometimes it isn’t good to get in the middle of your parents situations because I truly believe that their problems should stay between them, but the fact that you have know that your dad has been cheating on your mum for years now, is affecting you. At the end of the day you want to know if this is normal for a family? For a man to cheat on his family and wife? The answer to that is NO. Although many people today cheat on each other, it doesn’t make it right. Being faithful and loving someone with all you have is one of the biggest challenges in today’s life, and it’s sad that we have to even call that a challenge. It should come easy and if you have doubts believe me, there are still good people out there who don’t cheat on their partners.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • My husband is an infidel?

    The Question:

    My husband told me that he had swayed a little but was still in love with me. He used to send 20 sms everyday continuously to her before he came home. When we found out her number he said that he had stopped all that. But he still keeps his mobile with him all the time. Gets alarmed whenever there is a call and deletes all the messages and call history before coming back home. Should I trust him?

    My Response:

    Definitely sounds like you already don’t trust your husband. If you already caught him sending messages to another women in the past then this is unacceptable. You need to sit down with your husband and ask him to be honest with you, it’s the least that you deserve. If you want this marriage to work you need trust, and if the trust isn’t there you are only going to drive yourself crazy with wondering what he is up to. I do find it a little strange that he is always deleting call history and messages, if there was nothing to hide, then why delete it? I think deep down inside we know when something isn’t right in our relationships, but we question it and we fight it because we don’t want to get hurt, but the truth is we are already hurting by not being able to trust the person we are with. Communication is key, if you can’t talk to your husband and be honest with your feelings then nothing is going to be resolved. Sit down and talk to your husband, if worse comes to worse, I don’t recommend it but you can always check the call history on your phone bill. If you have to stoop to that level though, then your question is already answered.

    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Ex Fiance…Lost house…What’s Next?

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    Everything in my life lately seems to be going downhill. I broke up with my fiance, I lost my house, and now I’m trying to find my own place. Everywhere I look I get shot down or something is wrong. I just feel like nothing is going my way lately. My ex called and he wants to talk, the reason we broke up was because he was cheating on me. I am thinking of taking him back and maybe things will start getting better. What do you think?

    ~Bad luck

    My Response:

    Dear Bad luck;

    Getting back with your ex isn’t going to solve your problems. He is your ex for a reason, and he cheated on you, there is no justification on getting back with him. You need to start thinking positive and you need to move on with your life. Maybe have a girls night out to clear your mind, or take some Yoga classes or even better, kick boxing to get all the frustration piled up out on the punching bag. Get yourself together and find a real man who won’t cheat on you, a nice apartment you’ll be happy in and you will soon see that everything will come together.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • My boyfriend cheated on me with another Man…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    My boyfriend and I were together for 3 years and I just found out that last summer he slept with another man. He says he is not homosexual or bisexual that he was drunk and it just happened that one time, but I don’t know what to believe. How drunk can you be to not only cheat, but to cheat with a man? (the same sex). I’m so confused right now, I love him but I feel not only betrayed and lied to, but I feel like he isn’t telling himself the truth. What if he really is homosexual? Do I break up with him or do I believe him and forgive him?

    ~Same Sex

    My Response:

    Dear Same Sex;

    I think there are definitely some unresolved emotions that your boyfriend might be trying to hide. Let’s start with the fact he cheated on you and leave out the part that it was with another man. He Cheated on YOU! Enough said….At the end of the day, drunk or not he cheated on you. You were in a relationship for two years and he has lied about it for the past year. How do you know this was the only time he cheated on you let alone with another man? Now going back to the fact that not only did he cheat on you, but he cheated on you with another man is just confusing in itself. If he doesn’t understand it, then don’t beat yourself up trying to understand it yourself. He is obviously confused or hiding feelings of homosexuality that he doesn’t want to share. Some may say, it was just a one time fling and he was really drunk, but others may say he is homosexual or bisexual and he just doesn’t know how to come to terms with it. I would sit down and talk to him, but more than likely he is going to become defensive and say that he isn’t homosexual and that it was just a drunken mistake. The facts are he cheated on you, and it was with another man. Do you want to stay with a guy that doesn’t know what he wants? You deserve a man that won’t cheat on you and a man that isn’t confused about his sexuality. I know it’s hard because you have been together for 3 years, but it’s better to find this out now than down the road when you are married with children. Move on and find yourself a real man!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • I found my boyfriend with his ex

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I was at school (college) and I left a little early and headed to my boyfriend’s house to surprise him. When I got there, I was the one surprised to find his ex-girlfriend’s car parked in the drive way. When I knocked on the door he told me they were just discussing a few things but he wouldn’t let me in. He then proceeded to tell me that nothing was going on and that he would call me later. Is he cheating on me with his ex-girlfriend? If nothing is going on then why not let me in the house? She shouldn’t be there to begin with, do I wait to see what he has to say or should I just move on? We have been together for 6 months and I really care for him but I don’t know what to think about this. Please Help.

    ~Confused

    My Response:

    Dear Confused;

    Any time an EX is near it is never good. There is no reason for her to be in his house let alone push you away and tell you that he will call you later. I have been in situations where I didn’t do what I should have at the time. You need to sit down with your boyfriend and ask him face to face what is going on. Talk to him and tell him that you do not feel comfortable with his ex-girlfriend in his house, let alone hanging out at all. There is no reason for her to be at your boyfriend’s house. This is only causing trouble where there wasn’t any. I would talk to your boyfriend and see what is going on, but having experience with a similar situation, you are better cutting your ties now and finding a man who isn’t confused as to which girl he really wants to be with. If he cared for you as much as you care for him, he wouldn’t have had his girlfriend in his house alone, and he wouldn’t have sent you off to call you later and stay with her. Find a real man and move on.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • I had a baby with my wife’s sister…

    The Question:

    How do I win my ex-wife back after having a baby with her sister?
    Before you judge me I would like to say that yes I was wrong. 4 years ago me and my wife were pregnant with twins, her sister came over to stay in Germany with us for 3 months because my ex-wife wanted her here. When my wife was pregnant she was cranky, tired and resisted sex and didn’t want me near her. She kept pushing me away. When her sister came about 2 weeks into her stay, by mistake we kissed, and when my wife went to work we ended up having sex a lot. We ended it but 4 weeks after we did she was pregnant with my baby too. I regret everything I’ve done because my ex-wife was so good to me. When I told her what happened she left me and returned home to her own country and I never got to meet my children which was very unfair. I waited and thought she would come back but when her nine months were up I knew she wasn’t going to return. With her sister I am seeing the child. My wife is back in Germany at the moment because her sister told me and I’ve also seen her and my twins and they have grown up so well and I can see she has brought them up well but I want to be in their lives. How do I ask her to let me at least say hi and that I’m their dad? is there anyway I could win her back? I really love this woman and we never arranged a divorce? What I did is a complete mistake but she never got a divorce. She cant hate me then if she hated me why not get a divorce?

    My Response:

    Dear Remorseful;

    First of all – You kissed her by mistake? You don’t just accidentally fall and kiss someone and you don’t accidentally have sex with someone, let alone your wife’s sister…. Second… Yes; You made a huge mistake, the ultimate mistake. Not only did you cheat on her, you cheated on her with her sister and not only did you cheat on her with her sister you had a baby with her sister. If this woman took you back, I would say you were the luckiest man in the planet. I agree that although you made your mistakes that you should at least be allowed to see the babies. You need to first sit down with your wife and apologize for all that you have done, let her see that you are truly remorseful for what you have done to her and that although your relationship may never be the same you want to be a good father to your children. She probably hasn’t gotten a divorce for a few reasons, one she can’t afford it or two she just can’t bring herself to do it yet. Just because she left doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you. You cheated on her while she was pregnant with her sister and got her sister pregnant too. I don’t know how she forgave her sister, because you were both wrong in what you did. Communication is all you have here, try and talk to her and at least be in your children’s lives, but don’t expect to get back with your wife. Do this for your children and your love for them. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com