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Tag: confused

  • Advice Column: My husband’s cheated

    Advice Column: My husband’s cheated. Image found on google.com/images

    Advice Column: My husband’s cheated…

    The Question:

    I’m getting confused about my husband…

    My husband has started being secretive about things, hiding passwords and such. I recently was able to see his Facebook page and my thoughts were true, [sic] he’s on there chatting with other women and giving his number out. When I confronted him with this, he took me off his friends page so I couldn’t even see what he is doing. He cheated once before so the trust isn’t strong between us. Also a young girl that really isn’t my friend told me she has been friends with him and that he is willing to be more than friends. He is asking for her number and has yet to come out and say he is married. I’m getting to the point where I don’t want him around and I have to be almost drunk to have sex with him because its hard to want someone who clearly doesn’t want you. I’m going into a state of depression and I know it wont be good for my kids to see me like this. I have asked him to leave many time but he claims he wont because there is nothing wrong with flirting. What do I do?

    (Edited)

    My Response:

    Dear Open Your Eyes;

    Let’s start with the fact that the trust is already gone because he has already cheated on you once. That should have been the first sign to get out! If your husband took you off his friends list on his Facebook, I would definitely think something is going on. You already saw his Facebook and got proof that he is talking to other women and giving his number out (although there is no proof that he has physically cheated on you, this is still a form of emotional cheating), you also said that another woman told you that he would be more than friends with her and you were never even mentioned as his wife. What more do you want?

    Do you need to actually catch him cheating on you again, to finally realize that this guy is a looser and that he really does not love you? I’m sorry and I don’t mean to be harsh, but you need to wake up and realize that you can do so much better then this guy. You said it yourself “I have to be almost drunk to have sex with him because it’s hard to want someone who clearly doesn’t want you.” You already know what you need to do and although you said he won’t leave even after you asked him, you need to tell him that this ISN’T HIS CHOICE to make.

    He needs to get out of your house, or you will leave somewhere else with the kids. I don’t know if you have family or friends that you can talk to, but if you do you need to see if you can stay with them. Tell him you want his stuff out of the house by a certain date and you will not return until it is done. You have kids with this man, and it is not good to be depressed and for them to see what their father is doing to you. He needs to grow up and commit. He obviously was not ready for that the first time he cheated on you. And like I said earlier that should have been a clear sign to get out! I know it’s easier said than done but you need to get him out of your home and you need to pull your life back together with your kids. Stay strong and remember that no man should ever treat a woman the way your husband has treated you. There is no excuse to cheat or take you off his Facebook or lie to your face about talking to other women. If he’s lying to your face about something you saw with your own eyes this should make you wonder, what else he is lying about. Stay strong and move on with your life. You deserve a real man to love you and be with you. Good luck!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Advice Column: New Chick or Old Chick?

    Advice Column: New Chick or Old Chick?

    Dear kristin nicole;

    Ok I need some help. I just started dating this new chick a month ago, we were acquaintances before we started dating. I liked her so much (mostly because she is hot) that I cut it off the previous girl I was dating (equally hot) because that one was going downhill fast. And I wanted to start new and fresh without anyone in the way. This new chick was in the same situation as me as she stopped talking to the one person she was dating as they were going downhill as well. So we were basically in the same situation when we started seeing each other. Everything was great for this whole month until I found out yesterday that she is still hanging out with her ex. When I confronted her she admitted it but stated they are just friends. To top it off they are neighbors so it’s not like they can’t see each other. I’m very upset at this situation because I stopped talking to the one I was dating previous to this new chick and then she does this to me. Also the previous chick is begging me back and pleading to see me. I decline her advances to me but I still talk to her here and there. What should I do? Should I go back to the previous chick (which has its own set of problems) or should I just stay with the new chick knowing that she still sees her ex?

    Thanks,
    Confused dude

    Dear Confused dude;

    I think that if she is still talking to her ex and didn’t tell you can mean two things, one that she still has feelings for him so she hid the the fact that he lives next door and that she still talks to him or two she figured you might get a little jealous and since there is nothing going on figured telling you would only make things questionable, which in fact it has. I think she should have been honest with you and if there is nothing going on with the ex then there is no reason for her to hide anything from you. If you really like this new girl then you need to talk to her, ask her what is up? Ask her straight out about her ex, if she still has feelings for him then you don’t want to be involved with a girl who can’t make up her mind, if she says nothing is going on with her ex and she really likes you, then you have one of two choices, believe her (because she has never shown you otherwise that she may be lying) or decide that you can’t deal with it and move on. As for the first girl – Stop keeping her around, tell her you are just not interested in her like that (of course say this in a nice way), but don’t even bother with someone that you already know is complicated. Why would you want that in your life? Don’t ever settle just because it is easy, if you really like someone and they like you it should happen easily.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Life doesn’t have a Guide Book…

    Random Thoughts:

    Pain is something we all feel at one point in our lives. When you hurt inside it’s a pain that is unexplainable, a pain that blinds us from what is really in front of us. Sometimes when we hurt we eventually move forward, we eventually see that the pain was for a reason, other times the pain turns into anger. Life is a journey that we are all on together, a journey we have to figure out on our own. We cross paths with people in our lives that change who we are, we either grow from them or we stay stuck in the paths we are crossing. I believe that we meet people in our lives for a reason, we might not see it in the moment, but they are there for one reason or another.

    Sometimes we feel lost, and confused and we aren’t quiet sure where to go from there. I knew someone who was lost, this person forgot who they were, they weren’t happy with themselves or their life and they pushed everyone they knew away. Closing one door leading them into a depression I couldn’t get them out of. When someone tells you that they don’t love you anymore, you try to come up with reasons why they loved you to begin with, when a person stops loving themselves the only thing you can do is let them find their own way back. How do you help someone who doesn’t want to be helped? There is no guide book in life to tell us how to act, what to do, where to go, there is no help guide to tell us how to love or what to do when we feel sad or upset. We live this life for a reason and we try to figure it out along the way.

    At times I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I have a vision of what I want to do, but fear holds me back at times, wondering if what I really want will ever truly happen, if I’m good enough for what seems to be the impossible. I try to think positive and I love to feel like anything is possible, but there is always that little negative voice inside who stops us from making our dreams come true. Why do people always second guess themselves, why do we feel like there are some things in life that just can’t happen?

    My friend gave me this quote from Steve Jobs which I find to be refreshing, I have it up on my board at work so that I can see it and remind myself of the possibilities life has to bring.

    “You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of our life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle. ~Steve Jobs (2005 Stanford Commencement Speech).

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Should I feel guilty?

    The Question:

    Should I feel guilty? Why do I?? Confused!!?

    Ive just come out of a relationship. It was hard to end and I wasn’t happy in the end. The guy didn’t talk to me for weeks after we split and now he turns up saying all the stuff I ever wanted to hear. Mean while, I started dating (nothing serious just dates) this other guy. I explained to the new guy, that I’m just out of a relationship and I have mixed up feelings, and he is ok about it. So why do I feel guilty? Like if I’m cheating on someone when I’m not!!? I told my ex we can talk next week but I can’t promise more then that and we will see what happens. Am I doing anything wrong? Why do I feel guilty? I’m no one’s girlfriend now right? Thanks in advance for your advice.
    ~Conflicted

    My Response:

    Dear Conflicted;

    You shouldn’t feel guilty because you were very honest with they guy you are dating about just being out of a relationship and not wanting anything serious. You are probably conflicted because you may really like the new guy you are dating, and even though you haven’t done anything but talk to your ex, you are feeling like it’s wrong. If you weren’t happy at the end of your relationship then why do you want to talk to your ex now? I think the best thing to do is move on from your ex, and the easiest way to do that is to stop talking to him. If you really like this new guy then don’t ruin it by talking to your ex. If you are confused, then take some time off from both of them and see what you want to do. If you have unfinished feelings with your ex then maybe talking to him and seeing him will clear a few things up for you. Don’t drive yourself crazy about it though, you are single and you are doing nothing wrong, you were honest with the guy you are dating, so if he wants to stick around while you sort out your feelings then that is entirely up to him. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

    August 25, 2011

  • I had sex with my wife’s father…

    The Question:

    I had sex with my wife’s father. What should I do?

    Okay so my wife and I were visiting her parents for Easter. We all had a lot to drink and by about 2 AM my wife and her mother had passed out on the couch. I talked to my father-in-law for another half an hour before suddenly he reached over and kissed me on the cheek. I returned it except this time I kissed him on the lips, and before I knew it we were downstairs in the guest bedroom having sex.

    It was one of the strangest and yet most amazing experiences of my life. It was without question the best sex I ever had, but obviously it could prove to be problematic. My wife knew I was bisexual before we got married, but I think to her this would be crossing the line. I haven’t heard from her father since and my wife clearly knows absolutely nothing (we’ve since had sex twice).

    I feel somewhat guilty, but I know if the opportunity presented itself again I would do it again. What the hell should I do? Should I tell my wife and ask her if I can carry on with her father in a purely sexual way—-not in a relationship? I love my wife and don’t want to lose her. I’m so confused. Please help. By the way we’ve been married 4 years and have no children.

    My Response:

    Dear Bisexual;

    First – OMG – Is this for real?
    Second – Of course your wife would be upset, not only are you betraying her trust by cheating on her, but with her father no less. This is not only wrong on all levels on your part but on her fathers part as well. If you decide to come clean do not expect her to be okay with you having a sexual relationship with her father and don’t expect her to want to stay with you at the same time. What person in their right minds would think this is okay? I think a person who is bisexual is still trying to find what they really want in the world, and I think that you are still confused. You need to decide what you want to do but under no circumstances should you do this again, not only are you hurting your wife but your mother in law who probably is in denial that her husband is gay. Own up to what you have done, do not let your wife live a lie with you and end up having children only to hurt them in the end. You have only been married for 4 years and although this will be hard on your wife it is a good thing that you do not have children yet, it will be a lot easier to get out of the marriage. If you truly loved your wife you wouldn’t have cheated on her, especially with her own father. Talk to your wife about how you have been feeling and if you decide to tell her the truth, good luck, because this is one case where you are going to need it.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • In the end we all question life…

    Random Thoughts:

    In the end we all question life…

    We question what we could have done differently, we question life and the meaning, we question if we are truly happy with the choices we made in life. In the end we have to live with the choices we made in life whether or not we like them, because life is a journey none of us expect, a journey that takes you through the high mountains, the beaches, the sunsets, the storms and the unknowns.

    Life in general is scary, we are born into a world we do not know of, a world we can not control, and when you look back at the decisions we have made we sit and wonder if they were the right ones or the wrong ones.

    We learn that we cannot turn back time and no matter how much we hope to change the past or the future all we can do is walk straight into it and hope that what we are walking into, what will make us happy will be what we have worked so hard to get and we hope that all the tears and all the pains in life weren’t for nothing, and we hope that the scars caused by them will diminish and the walls built will crumble down and in a split second of wondering ‘how did I get here’ you stop and think about all the things in life that got you here, the people who tried so hard to steer you in the right direction, the hard choices you had to make in leaving or staying, and the wonder if life were different “where would I be”?

    I look back at my life and I wish I had made some different choices, but I do not regret life, I do not regret the road I chose because we cannot turn back time, we cannot regret the things we chose and the things we will choose, but we can guide ourselves and open our minds to the unknown, open our minds to things we did not think possible. We can open our hearts and minds to the wisdom the people around us convey, and we can listen and truly think about the decisions we will make. Decisions that can change your entire life in a single moment, decisions that can change your whole way of living and thinking and feeling. Open your eyes to the unknown, don’t be naive or blind or childish about the decisions you need to make in life. Life is short, and life is confusing and when the world seems to leave us alone in a single room with no room to turn to, you have to know that at the end of that room, there is always a door. A door filled with possibilities, a door filled with love and encouragement, a door filled with people that care for you, but if you choose to stay in that room, if you choose to close yourself off and believe that the world you are living in right now is real, this fairytale of illusions you have built for yourself, if you choose to believe only this, then you will choose a path that you will have to own up to for the rest of your life.

    In the end we all question life… but it’s up to you to be happy with the outcome and answers you make in life.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • He hasn’t called me yet?

    The Question:

    Dear kristin nicole;

    So first off I appreciate that you answer everyones question your site helps alot!!

    I met this guy at my friends sweet sixteen I thought he was cute. So when I left my friend told the guy and I came in and he started talking to me. He introduced himself but we couldn’t hear each other so he asked if I wanted to talk outside I said sure then we introduced ourselves and he asked me what grade I was in I told him and turns out he’s a senior in high school I’m a sopmore then he asked for my number and then he gave me his. When he was about to leave he hugged me and said i’ll talk to u later. It’s been a week and he hasn’t called or text. I texted him on Wednesday about 4 days after the party and he didn’t text back…..What do I think of this?
    🙁

    Sincerely,
    Lost

    My Response:

    Dear Lost;

    First thank you, I love that you look at my website and I would love to help you.

    Sometimes boys like to play games and they take a while to call, but if it’s been a week and you already text him and he did not text back I would take that has a sign that “he’s just not into you”. I know it hurts but sometimes guys act one way and then turn around and act another way. I wouldn’t waste my time, if he really liked you and he was really into you, he would have called by now and or he would have texted you back. If that is how he is going to act now you probably do not want to deal with a guy like that later. You deserve someone who is not going to play games and call you when they truly like you. It was one night of fun and conversation with a cute guy, take that and move on, find another cute boy who will call you back.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • I want sex with my dad!?

    The Question:

    I’m not a troll and this is real…..
    I’m a 17 year old guy and I want to have sex with my dad! I have seen his dick 2 times, once he was in the bathroom and I walked in and I saw it and I acted like I walked in on accident and once he was sleeping and I slowly pulled it out of his shorts. I really think he is hot I want him so bad! Don’t tell me anything about seeing a psychiatrist or finding help I know its wrong just tell me how!??

    My Response:

    Dear Beyond Strange;

    This question can’t be at all real, and if it is, I have to tell you what you don’t want to hear (YOU NEED HELP)!!! Are you freaken serious??? If you are gay it is fine, but wanting to sleep with your own father is just beyond gross, beyond weird, and beyond any other words I can even think about right now. You say you know it is not normal so why do you continue to walk in on your dad while he’s in the shower? The fact that you actually went into his room to try and take a peak of his goods is just not cool! You need to be honest with yourself and with your parents about what you are feeling and you need to seek the help you need. Good luck

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com