Sometimes in life the unexpected hits close to home. Sometimes we think we are invisible, that we will live forever, that tomorrow can wait another day, but sometimes that isn’t the case. There comes a time in some people’s lives where they need to mourn those they have lost, they have to try and understand the reasons behind something so unimaginable, try to cope and live each day with this weight on their shoulders. Life is given to us but it doesn’t come with a rule book, or a guide book on how to live it, it doesn’t tell us how to cope with the struggles and losses we have endured. We live each day as if tomorrow will come, but the truth is, it does not matter how old we are, whether it’s a few hours old or 90 years old, tomorrow isn’t always promised.
Just this past weekend a good friend lost his step-brother in a car accident. When we think we are invisible at a young age we sometimes do crazy things, and this night was one of those nights. A family of four was caught in this accident, and a father and 15 year old son passed away, and the mother and 12 year old son are in critical condition. The driver who was racing is in critical condition as well, but my friends step-brother Ivan wasn’t so lucky, he too passed at the age of 20. We don’t think about the consequences or what or who we can hurt with the decisions we make in life, and we don’t understand why things happen the way they do, but we wake up each day knowing that the decisions we make in life do in fact impact others, whether they are close to you or just mere strangers walking by.
This tragedy has opened eyes to many, and although we cannot understand why it happened, we will pray and hope that one day the families that have lost those they loved can move forward with their lives. We hope that the pain of losing those we loved won’t hurt as much one day. We pray and we hope that one day we can understand the reasons behind why things have to happen.
Andrea Torres writes for the Miami Herald. I was talking with my best friend when she told me about Andrea, she is an old friend of her husbands and Andrea just found out that she has breast cancer. I tried to process this thought, and although I don’t know Andrea personally her story touched me. Cancer makes you think, it makes you wonder things you didn’t wonder about before. As I read stories on line and get to know people online, I see Cancer everywhere. It’s sad and it’s confusing to most. We wonder why such a horrible disease can reach such good people. I read Andrea’s story and I wanted to know more, I told my friend that I felt her story was incomplete, I felt like I wanted to get to know her better so I thought I would share her story with you.
At age 33, I’m dealing with breast cancer:
By Andrea Torres
atorres@miamiherald.com
The nightmare began when I found a lump in my left breast. I first felt it when I turned in bed. I woke up the next morning and rode four miles on my bicycle. I was in good health, and was convinced it would go away after my period.
It didn’t.
“It’s a thick fibrous mass with a cottage cheese texture. It seems to be expanding,” I said to an ultrasound technician at the Diagnosis Center for Women in South Miami. I was there for my first mammogram.
The technician moved a roller connected to a sonogram back and forth over my breast. She was staring at black-and-gray deformed spheres on a screen. Her silence was painful.
“I am so sorry. I will be right back,” she said.
I thought about death. My maternal grandparents had just died at the end of last year. My poor mom, I thought: How was I going to tell her?
The technician returned to the room with the center’s director of breast imaging, Dr. Carrie Horst. They both stared at the screen. This time, Horst was holding the roller.
“I am not going to sugarcoat this. I think this is breast cancer,” Horst said. “We need to schedule a biopsy.”
The ultrasound technician tried to comfort me when Horst left the room. “These are the days when I hate my job,” she said, while she hugged me goodbye. I didn’t tell my mom I knew it was cancer. I told her it was a possibility. She still cried.
Horst called me a few days later after the biopsy confirmed her suspicion. I learned that at 33, I was not too young for breast cancer.
Horst sent me to Mercy Hospital to meet Dr. Tihesha Wilson, a surgical oncologist. She explained that the pathology report revealed I had infiltrating ductal carcinoma. There were two tumors and “several smaller masses present in a satellite configuration” — about 3.5 inches in total.
“It’s going to be a tough year,” Wilson said. “You have to stay positive, and know that you are going to survive this. Many women have.”
She explained the course of treatment. It would feel like torture in a remote prison. She handed me a tissue box. I didn’t cry. I was numb. She gave me a hug.
After a PET-CT scan and an MRI, I visited Baptist Hospital’s Dr. Robert DerHagopian for a second opinion. He said a lymph node, which tested positive for metastatic carcinoma, would place my case at a stage 3a. The highest stage (4) compromises other organs.
“You’re going to be OK,’’ he said, as he hugged me goodbye.
I knew what cancer patients looked like. My long black hair was going to fall out, so I decided to get it cut. It was nearly down to my waist. It was the prettiest it had ever been — thick, beautiful and shiny. The thought that it would make a good wig for a little girl or a teen after I donated it to Locks of Love gave me strength, even though I knew that the organization sells some of the donated hair to cover costs.
A friend cut off my ponytail, before Carolyn Duffy, of Nue Studios in Wynwood, sculpted a cut that made me feel like I had been made for short hair.
“I can’t hide behind my hair anymore,” I said, as I left the hair salon looking like Tinkerbell.
“There is no reason for you to hide,” said Duffy, who gave me a hug.
It wasn’t until I was seated in the passenger seat of my brother’s car at a South Beach stoplight that reality hit. It had usually been shoes that caught my eye, but now I was staring at an aqua-and-black fedora. The woman wearing it waved and smiled. I didn’t want to be rude, so I waved back thinking she had mistaken me for somebody else.
What followed was painful. I heard her say, as she crossed the dark street, “I thought it was a guy.” Her friends laughed at her.
No one had ever questioned my femininity. Women had stared at me, because they liked my shoes, or my clothes caught their attention. Never because they thought I was a man. I got out of the car and speed-walked toward the beach.
I crossed streets recklessly, tears rolling down my face. On Collins Avenue, I stopped a woman with a shaved head. I explained my situation and asked her about hers.
“I shave it for fun. It’s my look,” said Muriel Amisodar, 40, who hails from Canada. “Without hair, my face is always glowing.”
She exuded confidence.
“You be proud of your beauty when the hair falls,” Amisodar said, before hugging me goodbye.
A person who can write about her disease is a strong person, I have faith that Andrea will get through this. In life we sometimes don’t understand why things happen to us, we can only surpass it and keep living and moving forward.
My prayers are with you Andrea, stay strong and keep writing.
Just yesterday I had to go to Publix on 134 SW 13th St in Downtown Miami, to get a money order. My boyfriend and I went in together and were both getting money orders. We had a sum amount and were splitting it, however, he was getting one and I was getting one. Two separate accounts, nothing to do with the other. The lady asks us for two forms of ID. I asked her why that is, and she said because you are getting a money order for more than $3000. I explained that we weren’t, mine was 1k+ and his was 1k+, one had nothing to do with the other. My account is totally different than his account. She insisted that it was over 3k and she just wasn’t understanding what I had to say. I asked to speak to her manager, and the manager proceeded to tell me the same thing. She said we knew each other and we came in together. WHAT????? I can know 5 people behind me and we can be taking a total of 8 thousand dollars, it shouldn’t matter! If we are all getting separate money orders and each has a different account I do not see the problem. Now had I had 2 forms of ID on me, I would have just done it, but we were on a time frame and I don’t carry my social security number with me and I don’t have a passport, and if I did I wouldn’t carry that with me either.
So I normally try to hold my composer, but again we were on a time frame trying to close on our first house today and we needed to get these money orders. I proceeded to lose my temper and tell the lady she was a Freaken Idiot and walked away. Now I say this is a stupid thing that happened to me because the lady was obviously not understanding that just because we came in together does not mean we are withdrawing over 3k. I can understand if it was coming from the same account, but it wasn’t. My account is one account, and my boyfriends is his account. We don’t even have the same last name for goodness sakes!
So did we get the money order? Of course we did, we ended up going to the Publix on 311 SW 7th St. The girl was very nice and without a problem I got my money order and my boyfriend got his. No thanks to the Publix on 13th Street we were able to close on our house yesterday. So thank you for being idiots and allowing me to realize to NEVER go to your PUBLIX Again, and just because the 7th street was so nice and fast, I will continue to shop there instead. (Yeah I know it’s still a PUBLIX, but it’s the closest thing to my house right now). 😉
What Stupid Thing has happened to you? Tell your story in the Comments Page.
LeBron’s failure warms Cleveland’s heart – This is an article that was posted on Yahoo.com. Quotes from the article: “So on Sunday, Cleveland laughed right back.
All over Flannery’s and places like it across Ohio, they cracked oft-told jokes. (“I asked LeBron for a dollar, he gave me 75 cents back. He doesn’t have a fourth quarter.”) They showed pictures on their cell phones mocking LeBron as a quitter. Bartenders rang bells and shouted things like, “Last call for LeBron.” – WOW The amount of haters out there are incredible to me.
Let’s start with Cleavland Wins without Lebron…..Oh wait there were barely any the entire season. They were one of the worst teams in the NBA in 2011, they didn’t even make it close to the Playoffs let alone the Finals. So Lebron wasn’t on his game in the 4th quarters, don’t get me wrong, it was frustrating as a Heat fan, however, at the end of the day we got to the Finals and they didn’t. So many people want to hate on Lebron but he has every right like any other player to leave a team if he thinks he will do better for himself in another team. Perhaps the way he left wasn’t classy, perhaps it was wrong, but everyone makes mistakes and he has apologized for the way it all went down. At the end of the day it wasn’t just Lebron who decided to announce him coming to Miami it was also his publicist so don’t be so quick to judge someone on the choices they make and stop hating.
When everyone said the Miami Heat wouldn’t even make it to the Playoff’s we proved everyone wrong and we WON the Eastern Conference, when everyone said we wouldn’t even come close to the Finals we overcame that and Got into Game 6 of the Finals. So before you are so quick to judge Lebron or the Miami Heat…where was your team this year?
Don’t worry Lebron, MIAMI has your back! We love you and next year we are going to BRING IT!
