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Tag: divorce

  • Should I get involved with a newly separated (married) man?

    The Question:

    Should I get involved with a newly separated (married) man?
    He left his wife last month but they have been emotionally disconnected for years. He has been waiting for the kids to leave the house to be with me. I never pursued anything until they separated. I don’t want to end up hurt and my friends are telling me not to do it.

    My Response:

    Dear Involved;

    I’m a little confused as to why he is waiting for the kids to leave the house to be with you? How old are the kids? If they are young, then that is going to be a long time, and you have to think of two things. One – if he really wants to be with you, it is understandable that the kids come first, but to wait until they leave the house is to the extreme, if he really wants to be with you he would regardless of the kids, and he would introduce you into their lives. Two – If the kids are much older and almost out of the house, what is the problem?? Again he should introduce you to his kids, eventually being in the house or not they are going to find out about you. As far as him just being newly separated and the fact that he says he’s been emotionally disconnected for years can be him just saying that to make you feel better about the situation. However, he could really be over her, and ready to move on, although if that was the case (Why are you waiting for the kids to leave the house again)? Ask him straight out what he is looking for in a relationship, you do not want to waste your time on someone who isn’t ready to be in a committed relationship. It sounds to me like he might not be ready…
    Good Luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Just separated, when should I date?

    The Question:

    Recently separated, how long until I start to feel happy again?
    I’ve been separated from my partner of 10 years, we have two children aged 3 and 5. Our relationship has not been working for 2 years now. It was more my decision to separate and due to this my parents are not talking to me. I feel so empty and hate the weekends when he has the kids, I have been warned not to start dating as it’s too soon and will not work out. I just want to know how long I’m gonna feel unhappy for?

    My Response:

    Dear Unhappy;

    It is always going to be hard because of the fact that you have children together, however with that said it has been 2 years since you have been having problems. If you don’t love your husband/partner anymore then you need to sit down with your parents and explain to them how you feel. At the end of the day, you need to live your life, and your parents aren’t always going to be here. They need to understand that if you aren’t happy in your relationship that you are not just going to sit back and stay while you are miserable. I am not sure how long you have actually been separated so I do not know when the appropriate time to start dating should be. There really isn’t a time period that anyone will agree with because of the fact that you have kids. You have to think about them, and you do not want to just bring about any person into their lives. Time will heal, and you won’t always be unhappy, you have to work at being alone, work at getting your life together with out the kids father in your life, repair your relationship with your parents, and when the time is right you will meet someone else. Don’t rush into it, life is short but you don’t need to rush into something you don’t think you are ready for. If you feel that you are ready to date, then go for it, I just wouldn’t bring the next guy around your kids unless it starts to become serious. Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com