Advice Column: Is my Uncle cheating on my Auntie? – Image found on google.com/images
Advice Column: Is my Uncle cheating on my Auntie?
I was playing hide and seek with my cousin and hiding behind a sofa when my uncle came to sit down not knowing I was there. He took his phone out and started texting someone. I could only see a little bit of the text and I saw words such as GIRLFRIEND and GORGEOUS. When my cousin suddenly walked in the room he quickly hid his phone. Please help! What should I do?
Additional Details:
I’m 14 and was made to play hide and seek with my 4 year old cousin by parents….
(Edited)
My Response:
Dear Hide & Seek;
This is a hard position to be in, but you don’t necessarily know he is cheating on your aunt and you do not want to stir up problems if there really isn’t any. This is between your aunt and uncle and I would just leave it alone. If you feel that you can’t hold it in and it is really bothering you then talk to your parents about what you saw. Then let them take it from there. You are too young to be worrying about stuff like this. Good luck!
Advice Column: How do I piss my wife off? Image found on flickr.com
The Question: How do I piss my wife off?
I get so sick of her smiling and being happy all of the time. I want her to feel angry like I do all of the time. I want her to carry a harsh burden like I always do. Please leave suggestions?
My Response:
Dear Unhappy Husband;
You definitely have a serious inner issue that needs to be resolved. People who are miserable always want others to feel the way they do. This is not the answer, nor is it going to make you feel any better about yourself. If you aren’t happy, then get out of the relationship. Don’t bring her down with you. I’m not sure how old you are, but this is a very childish way of thinking. If you cared or loved your wife, you would want her to be happy, you wouldn’t want her to feel whatever sadness you are carrying around. If you are feeling burdened and unhappy, you should talk to a professional psychologist. You need help and you need to find the reasons behind your thoughts.
Advice Column: My brother is going down the wrong path. Image found on flickr.com
The Question: My brother is going down the wrong path, should I try giving him advice again or just let him go his own way?
I have been worried about my brother for a while, and I don’t know what to do other than throw my hands up and be done with the situation. He is a meth addict who has been in and out of prison, and just recently spent two years in a prison. When he was released my mother has enabled him again by buying him a trailer to live in. I tried giving my advice as to jobs he could get as a felon and positive things he could be doing. Yet he wont listen and instead got in contact with a bail guy he was friends with. This guy is a slime ball and uses people to make money. He promised him work and gave him a vehicle, yet only paid him little amounts to keep my brother under his control. [sic]. My brother was at an RV park when the bail guy convinced him to stay on his property. I believe its a way to have my brother fail and take the trailer. He isn’t giving my brother much work and I noticed my brother was reconnecting with old doper friends! I am worried he will go down the wrong path again, yet I also feel like this is the choice he made. He wants everything given to him and didn’t want to listen to me or even take my positive advice/help. [sic]. Am I being to judgmental or am I the only one seeing where this will lead?
(Edited)
My Response:
Dear Sibling;
This is a very hard position to be in. He’s your brother and it’s normal to only want the best for him but to try and get him help. It can be frustrating when we want to help someone we love but we can’t do anything about it. All you can do is be there for him, don’t give up. Try talking to him and explain to him that you care but you see him going down the wrong path again. Is there someone else you can talk to? Unfortunately all you can do is talk, but at the end of the day he’s a grown man, who knows right from wrong. Sometimes we can’t help the people we love, but we can always stay positive and try talking to them. Be there for them and love them. Who is this “bail guy”. Maybe there is a way you can report this guy, if he’s doing illegal stuff. I know you probably don’t want to get your brother in trouble again with the law, but if he’s hanging with the wrong people it’s only a matter of time before he gets himself into trouble.
Try talking to your brother and just be there for him. It’s all you can really do.
Advice Column: Will she get mad if I went to a sperm bank? Image found on flickr.com
The Question: Will she get mad that I went to a sperm bank?
I went to pick up my date but she was still getting ready. I talked to her mother (no name) while I was waiting. She asked me if I could use some extra cash. Of course I said yes. I asked her what I had to do. She said her office paid $100 per visit for something I was probably doing for free now. She said come on down any time. She gave me her card and it showed she owned a sperm bank. She wanted me to come in and make DEPOSITS.
This just seems strange to me. If my girlfriend sees me at her moms office, what can I tell her? Will I be in big trouble with my girlfriend? Or is this business just like any other business and it should not cause me any problems donating sperm. Surely my girlfriend knows what her mom does.
I can just hear the following conversation now. “What did you do today?” “I went to your mom’s office and J—— off. I never want to see you again you pervert.” What should I do?
(Edited)
My Response:
Dear Sperm Bank;
Let me first start off with… WHAT? It’s just weird and wrong of the mom to have asked you to do this in the first place. Second; you have to really think about doing something like this. It’s not just extra money, if you want extra money, get a job. Get two jobs if you have to. Giving away your sperm means making a child out there. Even if you do this anonymously, some children grow up wanting to know who their dad is, and go searching for them anyway. Some are found out, and then years later when you have a family of your own, you will have to explain to your wife that this is your kid. The kid you made while at the sperm bank. It’s just something to think about.
However; that doesn’t mean that going to a sperm bank is wrong, it helps women and couples who can’t have children, have them. But it’s a big decision that can one day change your life. So think about it before you decide to do something like this.
On that note; your girlfriend may not like this. Most girls I know, wouldn’t want to know that the guy they are dating is just making babies out there. She probably knows what her mom does (especially if her mom’s the owner) but it doesn’t necessarily mean she want her boyfriend donating his sperm.
If you haven’t gone yet, I would say not to go. Talk to your girlfriend first and tell her what happened before it gets out another way. If you already went and did the deed, then I am afraid you will just have to face the music. Talk to her and explain to her what happened and your reasons for going. Maybe you will be lucky and she won’t care.
Advice Column: I want to leave my mom’s to live with my dad. Image by flickr.com
The Question: I want to leave my Mom’s to live with my Dad, how can I do this?
I am 16 years old and was forcefully moved from my home with my dad about 2 years ago by my mom. She decided she wanted me to be with her and thus acted upon it. Since my dad is not excessively well-off, he couldn’t hire a lawyer, so I simply ended up staying with my mom. Try as I might, I cant adjust to my new school, make new friends, or genuinely be happy. My parents live on opposite sides of the country, and I have considered leaving (running away, if you will) to where my dad is. I ultimately want to know, if I get there, will I legally be able to decide that’s where I will live?
~ Running Away
My Response:
Dear Running Away;
You can try to go talk to a lawyer that may do a pro bono job, (which means he will take your case for free). Or at least maybe give you some free legal advice. I do not know where you live and I am not a lawyer so I cannot give you advice as to what you can do, or what will happen if you try to run away to another country. More than likely they will just send you back home. If you want to live with your dad, you have to do it the right way.
Have you tried talking to your mom, now that you are older? Have you tried reaching out to your dad? You are old enough to make that choice, and I would try talking to them first. If that doesn’t work you can always try talking to a lawyer or the courts and see what they tell you. It’s hard being a parent, just remember that your mom really loves you and probably only wants the best for you. I don’t know your parent’s situation so maybe your dad just couldn’t support you. It’s hard to understand when you are young, but be open and talk to them about how you feel. Maybe you will be surprised as to what they tell you.
Advice Column: My son is 20 and dating a 32 year old with 2 kids. Image found on Flickr.com
Advice Column:
My son is 20 and dating a 32 year old, divorcee with 2 kids. I don’t like this. How should I handle this?
My Response:
Dear Mom;
This is a hard situation to be in. Being a parent and not liking who your kid is dating is hard. Unfortunately your son is an adult and he can make his own decisions. I would voice to him your concerns, but I would let him know that I would support any decision he makes. You don’t want to push your son away by being negative and getting on him for dating someone so much older with children. He may figure it out on his own. I know it isn’t easy, but sometimes we have to let them make mistakes and learn from them. Raising someone else’s kids is not easy, especially when you are practically a kid yourself. Do you know if he has met the kids? Talk to him, but don’t attack him with what you don’t like. You have to have a limit as to what to say, if he starts telling you that it’s his life, leave it alone and try talking to him another time. Good luck.
Advice Column: How do I handle a relative and a bully? Image found on: Flickr.com
The Question:
How do I handle a relative and a bully?
My older sister is 27 and I am 24. I work three jobs to pay my bills and school. I recently saved up enough money for a car. It’s 10 years old and it’s not the perfect car but it’s mine. She didn’t congratulate me she just brushed the car off , and started off with “she’s going to rub it in my face that she bought a car before me.” I haven’t nor would I rub it in her face.
She told the village cops I’m driving without a license (I’m not) so I’ve been pulled over multiple times. She doesn’t have a job and I’ve vouched for her on multiple occasions for jobs and she’s screwed me over. I work for a grocery store in the morning, and a convenient store at night, and an ambulance service on my days off. She constantly makes comments like; “must be nice to go out and party” on the rare occasions I do go out. My dad recently started dating again and she’s being cruel and mean towards my dads new girlfriend. She’s the reason my mother doesn’t talk to my other sister. My mom borrowed money from my other sister to bail my 27 year old sister out of trouble. She’s got three kids with three guys. She abused me growing up. Every time I try to talk to my mom or dad about it she butts in and says I’m jealous of her. My mom says to drop it because she hates being in the middle of it. What I’m saying is, is it bad to not want her in my life at all? I don’t want to try anymore. I don’t want the negativity in my life. I’m moving out June 1st, is it healthy if I just cut her out of my life?
(Edited)
My Response:
Dear Little Sister;
It’s not unhealthy to cut your own sister out of your life. Some people may have their opinions that this is your sister, and you should try to help her. Family is important, but if that family is only bringing negativity into your life, then sometimes it’s best to move on from them. Your sister is old enough to know right from wrong. She needs to grow up and stop being negative towards you and your family. Have you tried sitting down with your sister one on one, and explaining to her how you feel? Communicating with her about the way you feel is important. You don’t want to regret removing her from your life if you truly feel that you haven’t tried to work things out. If you feel that you have done all you can, then it’s her own doing. It sounds to me like she may be jealous that you have your life together. You are working hard to get to where you want to be, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I wouldn’t give her the time of day, let her make her negative comments because at the end of the day you are doing you and making your life better. And no matter what she says, she can’t take that away from you.
Advice Column: Sex with the ex to get pregnant? Image found on flickr.com
The Question:
Sex with the ex to get pregnant.
I am desperate for a baby. My ex and I are still quite close and with a little extra push on my part I believe that we could not only resume physical relations but could also get back together again. I am prepared to do this alone if need be, but something tells me that if I manage to get pregnant he would probably very easily come back. My question is this, given that I could potentially put my family back together and get the baby I desire should I initiate sex with him when I am ovulating without telling him? He will obviously be aware that I am looking to have another baby but I just won’t tell him about the dates. So if he has sex with me, then he understands the ‘risk’ but doesn’t completely understand that extent of the risk as long as I timing it right. Right?
(Edited)
My Response:
Dear Ex;
If you want to truly have a baby but you don’t care that you may have to raise this baby on your own that is definitely up to you. There are a lot of single parents out there or certain circumstances a woman has in her life that she chooses to bring a baby into this world without a father present in their life. However; this is a big responsibility and you have to not only think about what you want but you need to think about your future baby, and what is best for him or her. On that note; it is extremely wrong to persuade a man to have sex with you just to have a baby. Does it take two to tango? Yes, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to not tell him you are ovulating to just get pregnant. If he does fall for this, then he’s an idiot because you should always use protection or contraceptives when having sex with someone. I think that you are trying to make your reasoning behind this okay, but it’s not okay. What you are doing is sneaky and irresponsible. Bringing a child into this world no longer means that it’s about you. If this man is your ex, he’s an ex for a reason. If you want to actually try and make things work with him, then do that. But don’t get pregnant just in the hopes he may or may not come back to you just because you are pregnant.
How can I help my sister? My boyfriend and I just got married. My sister is feeling sad because I told her I had to go live with him. She doesn’t want me to leave her. We are just moving down the street, it’s not real far and I told her she can come over tonight for a sleepover. She said it won’t be the same. She’s also sad because her best friends just moved away and they won’t be back until July. She really misses them. How can I comfort her?
(Edited)
My Answer:
Dear Sister;
How old is your sister? It sounds to me like she is young if she doesn’t understand that you need to move out to live with your husband. You need to talk to her and explain to her that you will always be there for her and you aren’t going too far. A sleepover is a good idea and it’s a start. Unfortunately you can’t fix her feelings. What you are doing is already a step to comforting her. Unfortunately any type of change is sometimes hard for people and the fact that her best friend moved and her sister is moving out is probably something that is hard for her to understand at the moment. Just continue to talk to her and be there for her, her sadness will soon pass and she will realize that you moving out isn’t all that bad.
How can I stop this old man from marrying my sister?
My sister just turned 19 when her and I went to a club. I am 32. 31 at the time we went. I saw this guy who was my age there and tried to get him to dance. Instead we just talked. As I came back from the ladies room I saw my sister chatting it up with him and they were smiling then dancing. He is my age. Wth.
My sister works as an aerobics instructor and gets passes from guys her age all the time. This man works as an artist and personal trainer and is not rich. A virgin too from what I heard. He is like a kid in a comic shop. But a big body builder guy while my young sister is a petite girl.
Now they are getting married and living together in his apartment. He lives in an apartment when someone his age should have a house at least.
I just got out of a marriage and I am looking. Where have all the good men gone?
My Response:
Dear Older Sister;
Your sister is a grown women. I understand that he is 13 years older than her but that doesn’t have anything to do with you. Even if you don’t agree with the situation, there is nothing you can do. Just because the man doesn’t own a house doesn’t mean he won’t be a good provider or husband. There are many men who are older that don’t own a house.
This sounds like you are trying to come up with excuses because you may be a bit jealous that he chose your sister instead of you. Have you tried talking to your sister? Talk to her and tell her how you feel. If the guy is a virgin then maybe he’s religious or waiting for the right person to come along. Is it strange? Yes, it is especially since he’s a personal trainer, but we don’t know the true reasons behind him still being a virgin. (If this is true.) Talk to your sister and tell her how you feel, but remember she’s a grown women and she can make her own decisions. You may have to accept this new found marriage.
It sounds like you need to get out there on your own. Just because this guy ended up with your sister doesn’t mean that all the good men are gone. Besides, you just said he’s a virgin… do you really want a guy who is still a virgin at your age? Find a real man and move on. But remember your sister will always be your sister.
