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Tag: family

  • My kind of Love – Happy Anniversary

    Happy 33rd Anniversary

    Today is my Parents 33rd Anniversary, it amazes me how so many people today are divorced or separated. Whenever I tell people I have an older brother and a much younger sister they always question if it’s from the same father and mother. I always giggle with a response, YES. At first I found it strange for people to ask that question. Like what kind of question is that, of course it’s from the same parents. But as I grew older and saw so many of my friends parents divorced, I realized that it was becoming more common to have divorced parents then it was to have parents who were still married. How sad is that? I think it’s strong willed and strong love that keeps a couple together. No one is ever perfect and in the end we all argue about things in life and sometimes we get so angry with each other that we don’t want to talk, but in the end if we love each other if we just don’t give up, we can find a way to move past it and get back to where we once were.

    Love is unconditional, Love is what you make of it, Love is Love… No one can take away the love unless you let it. Live Life to the fullest and be honest with each other because in the end you only have each other.

    Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad, may you have many more years of patience, love, and happiness. Love you both!

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Screw You Cancer! – A story about a little girl

    SCREW YOU CANCER!

    Do you remember Madison Schafer I wrote about her and I still keep up with her progress with Cancer. Madison is only 2 years old and is still fighting Cancer each and every day.

    A new Story:

    I follow Madison’s recovery and with that I found Sierra’s story. A story that has been told by her parents. A story that many of us don’t want to see or hear but a story I believe that many need to know. Cancer is a word we don’t like to hear a word we think will never happen, but when you least expect it, there it is, facing you with the most difficult battles you will ever have to endure.

    Read Sierra’s story and help those other children in the world find a cure:

    SCREW YOU CANCER
    Written by: Gen Chamblee

    I used to see St. Jude’s commercials on TV and thought “I can’t imagine what those parents are going through.” All the kids had the same look to them. They were bald and had something in their eyes that said, “help me.” I never dreamed that my child would end up looking like one of those kids. I am guilty of being one of those people who says, “cancer won’t touch us, it won’t happen to my child.”

    The cemetery where my husband’s father is buried has a section called “The Garden of Angels” and when ever we went to visit his father, I never wanted to drive past that area because of how sad it made me feel that all of those children were gone. Again, I couldn’t imagine. Now my precious daughter is buried there.

    How surreal it is. It’s mind boggling how life happens.

    I still can not believe Sierra is gone. Some days I wake up and expect to hear her sweet, little voice in her bedroom. But then reality hits me that I will never see her face again. Never hear her voice, never see her smile, never give her kisses again. Cancer ripped her away from me. At night all I can do is lay there and replay the moment she passed over and over in my head. It’s in every way possible, complete torture.

    Every time I walk by her empty room, it feels like someone is stabbing me in the heart. I read about her and choke up. It is truly the worst thing that anyone can go through. She will forever be 2 1/2 yrs old. Her pictures on the wall will never change, and all I have are the memories in my mind.

    So many have asked me how I can start up a foundation so soon after Sierra passed? How could I go through pictures of her and sit down to write out her story? That I must be so strong to be able to do such a thing. You want to know how I did it? I’m not strong, I’m angry. Furious. I have never been so mad in my life at anything as I am at cancer. It messed with the wrong family this time.

    I want the world to know who my beautiful Sierra was. I don’t want another parent to feel the pain I feel. The agonizing, ruthless pain of losing a child.

    I have become a different person since January of 2010. I was introduced to the world of childhood cancer in the worst possible way. And now it’s my turn to do as much as possible to open the eyes of everyone who thinks it can’t happen to their child. Because guess what? IT CAN.

    Pumping pure poison into children’s’ growing bodies is appalling. But you know what? It’s one of the only choices you have when the Dr. says, “your child has cancer.”

    It’s so hard to fathom that only 3% of Federal cancer research money goes to childhood cancer. Neuroblastoma gets even less than that. Every single day 46 kids are diagnosed with cancer and 7 of them die each day. Neuroblastoma kills 1 child every 16 hours. And all we can get is 3%? Are you freakin’ kidding me?

    Why are people so hesitant to give? I donated to St Jude’s numerous times before Sierra was ever diagnosed.

    Cancer has no rhyme or reason. It doesn’t discriminate. Not one single person in this world is safe from it. It destroys everything good in this world, and it doesn’t care how old you are or how much money you have.

    I get so angry when I think about it. People don’t realize how prevalent cancer is among children. It’s a world that people don’t want to think about. But it’s time everyone wakes the hell up and opens their eyes. Kids do get cancer and kids do die from it.

    No one knows what Sierra went through on a daily basis.

    Imagine a little girl no heavier than 20 lbs, on a ventilator for 3 ½ months, receiving enough sedation to kill an adult, blood transfusions two times a day, endless x-rays, scans, and IV pokes. Close your eyes and imagine huge amounts of poison being pumped through her veins, and adult poison at that. We have children’s Tylenol and children’s Benedryl, but after all these years, there is no such thing as a children’s chemo drug. Then she went through 9 ½ hours of surgery to extract this horrible thing. She battled pneumonia, and terrifying blood infections. And let’s also mention that she coded on two different occasions. To think though, Sierra never made it to stem cell transplant or radiation. There were SIX pages of side effects for ONE chemo drug.

    These kids fight for their lives, and then have to worry that the cancer doesn’t relapse. If it doesn’t – they truly survived. But, it’s not over. Now every day for the rest of their lives, they have to counter act all of the side effects from treatment. And then on top of that, they still have to worry about secondary cancer. But you want to know what was truly amazing about Sierra and all of these children? They smile every step of the way.

    Childhood cancer is real people. You don’t want to have to learn about it the hard way like I did. You don’t want wait & be holding your child in your arms as they draw their last breath to wake up and fight back.

    It’s totally unacceptable.

    My child was not one of the lucky ones. And unfortunately, many of them aren’t.

    But are you ready to open your eyes? Are you ready to join me and say, “SCREW YOU CANCER?”

    You can see Sierra’s story Here and you can also visit her website Sierrayn.org to donate for a Cure for Cancer.

    You can also Donate to the following Organizations:

    Children’s Cancer

    St. Jude – Cancer

    Children’s Cancer Association

    These are just a few, help find a cure for these children. This story touched my heart, and although I normally try to donate once a year, it made me donate right then and there to St. Judes on the spot. A little goes a long way.

    My prayers go out to Sierra’s family and friends and to all those families who have to suffer every day through cancer. God bless

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    Please send this message out to others. It is so important for our world to be educated and help such a deathly disease. You don’t have to donate only to help, you can help in many other ways. Spreading the word is a start….

  • Sometimes we need to Struggle to get to where we are…

    Sometimes in life we have to go through the struggles in order to get to where we want to be.

    Do you believe in signs? I do, I believe that signs are the Universe or God showing us or trying to tell us when something just isn’t right, and I think that sometimes we just try to deny the things we don’t want our hearts to feel, but in the end we have to open our eyes and accept what the truth really is.

    I get questions from people almost every day and I wonder sometimes how people can do the things they do, to those they say they love. In life we hope for love and happiness, we hope that one day we will find that one person to love and love us back in return. We hope that when we say it will be forever, that forever won’t be an illusion of what we wanted our life to be but forever until we pass. Today we see couples who are famous get married and last less then a month, and we see couples in the famous world who have been married for years suddenly end things. Is marriage so easy to just get out of, to ignore our vows and leave what we know to find something new and better?

    I once believed that forever, meant forever, and then I opened my eyes and realized that forever didn’t exist, but that forever was an illusion of what I thought my life could be, and I closed my eyes in my pretty world and I tried to make something that was never mine work, and when I opened my eyes one day and saw that my world had fallen, I realized that I was still me, and I was bigger and better and I knew that someone and something out there would come and open a new door, find my way into a world that I was supposed to be in, and leave the world I once knew behind. As I struggled and found my way I have learned that life is never easy. Life has obstacles and lessons that we sometimes never understand and we keep moving forward and we keep faith that one day it will be our turn to shine.

    Sometimes I am still finding my way, and sometimes I look at everything that has happened to me and the people that I help and I know where life is supposed to lead me. I just haven’t gotten there yet.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    ~Random Thoughts~

  • Everything Happens for a Reason.

    Everything happens for a Reason….

    Sometimes we don’t understand that the things that are happening to us in the moment are reasons we will one day hope to understand. Sometimes we fight for something that just isn’t meant to be. I used to believe in fairy-tales and happily ever afters but after a while you stop believing. You start to wonder if any of it is even true, and if it’s even possible.

    I pictured my life a certain way and when god had other plans I realized that I can’t control fate or life, I can only try to control how I feel about it and I can only control what I will do next to make it better.

    In life I have come to learn a lot at my age. I have gone through more than most and yet so little compared to others. You can never compare what you have gone through in life to what someone else has gone through, because although you may think that what you have gone through wasn’t easy, and I’m sure it wasn’t, what the other person may have gone through could have been worse or just simply another situation that was just as hard. I couldn’t imagine going through the things that I know some have gone through, and I don’t judge but I look at them with honor, and grace in knowing how strong some people can be, how strong some can overcome the odds and become good people.

    There are still things that happen that I have no explanation for, and sometimes I just want to help those who won’t let me in. I feel bad and I feel like I’m pushed against a wall with no where to turn. If that person knew how much I loved them and cared for them they would know that at any time they could come to me, and at any time I would always be there for them. Although I was just like this person I knew when it was time to need someone. I always had my mom that I could count on. Sometimes we need to put our pride away and open up to the people around us that love us and care for us, because in the end they are the ones that will always be there for us.

    Everything happens for a reason, and although I don’t have the answers, one day you we’ll see and understand why it happened. I used to believe in fairy-tales and happily ever afters and although I gave up on that, I still have hope inside that one day I will have my fairy-tale, and one day I will have my happily ever after, because everything happens for a reason.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Sometimes we have hard choices to make…

    Random Thoughts:

    Sometimes we have to make hard choices in life and look for a sign from God, or from the Universe to tell us that what we are doing is okay, that what we are about to do is right, sometimes deep inside we have to trust our feelings and we need to realize that maybe if we need to see a sign, maybe if we need to think about it so much, that maybe that just means it isn’t the right thing to do.

    As we grow older we start to realize the mistakes we have made growing up, the stupid things we used to do when we thought “it won’t happen to me”, and the life lessons that brought us to where we are today. At my age, I can’t say that I have been through it all, because I haven’t and I know that there is so much worse in the world, but at my age I also know that I have been through much more than most. I can’t sit here and cry over the things that have happened and I can’t pretend that they never did (even though some things I wish I could turn back time on), it is what it is, and it has truly made me into the person I am today.

    When you think your world is crumbling down, think about the people out there that have it worse then you, and remember that behind every shut door there is another one waiting to be open.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • In the end we all question life…

    Random Thoughts:

    In the end we all question life…

    We question what we could have done differently, we question life and the meaning, we question if we are truly happy with the choices we made in life. In the end we have to live with the choices we made in life whether or not we like them, because life is a journey none of us expect, a journey that takes you through the high mountains, the beaches, the sunsets, the storms and the unknowns.

    Life in general is scary, we are born into a world we do not know of, a world we can not control, and when you look back at the decisions we have made we sit and wonder if they were the right ones or the wrong ones.

    We learn that we cannot turn back time and no matter how much we hope to change the past or the future all we can do is walk straight into it and hope that what we are walking into, what will make us happy will be what we have worked so hard to get and we hope that all the tears and all the pains in life weren’t for nothing, and we hope that the scars caused by them will diminish and the walls built will crumble down and in a split second of wondering ‘how did I get here’ you stop and think about all the things in life that got you here, the people who tried so hard to steer you in the right direction, the hard choices you had to make in leaving or staying, and the wonder if life were different “where would I be”?

    I look back at my life and I wish I had made some different choices, but I do not regret life, I do not regret the road I chose because we cannot turn back time, we cannot regret the things we chose and the things we will choose, but we can guide ourselves and open our minds to the unknown, open our minds to things we did not think possible. We can open our hearts and minds to the wisdom the people around us convey, and we can listen and truly think about the decisions we will make. Decisions that can change your entire life in a single moment, decisions that can change your whole way of living and thinking and feeling. Open your eyes to the unknown, don’t be naive or blind or childish about the decisions you need to make in life. Life is short, and life is confusing and when the world seems to leave us alone in a single room with no room to turn to, you have to know that at the end of that room, there is always a door. A door filled with possibilities, a door filled with love and encouragement, a door filled with people that care for you, but if you choose to stay in that room, if you choose to close yourself off and believe that the world you are living in right now is real, this fairytale of illusions you have built for yourself, if you choose to believe only this, then you will choose a path that you will have to own up to for the rest of your life.

    In the end we all question life… but it’s up to you to be happy with the outcome and answers you make in life.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • My Best Friend…

    My Best Friend

    We have known each other for way too long
    You aren’t just my best friend
    You are like a sister at all costs.

    We have been through ups and downs
    at one point we didn’t talk
    life moved on
    and then one day out of no where
    you came back into my life
    it was has if we never stopped talking
    as if we had never been apart
    that’s how you truly know this friendship will never part.

    You mean the world to me
    everything you do
    I know if I need you
    You’ll help me through

    If you’re ever in a bind
    I hope you know I’ll do the same
    No matter what time or day
    I’ll always be here
    Just call out my name…

    I know it sounds corny
    but the saying is true
    Friends for Ever
    Just Me & YOU!

    © ~Written by: kristin nicole – March 16, 2011

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    Dedicated to my best friend Grace – I have known her for over 15 years now and she is like a sister to me in so many ways. I was inspired to write this poem after she wrote me a sweet message on my facebook page. She just got married, and I was so lucky to have been chosen as her Maid of Honor…. It is truly a blessing when you find a true friend for life… Love you….

  • My husband of 16 yrs had an affair…

    The Question:

    I found out my husband of 16 years has been having an affair and I can’t deal with it please help?

    I found out 4 months ago that he had been sleeping with the secretary at work. Her husband found out and phoned me and told me all about it. My husband told me it had been going on for about 5 months. He said that he did it because it was offered to him on a platter and that our relationship was fine, and that he loves me and does not want to lose me. What hurt the most is he brought her to our house while the kids and I were away and had sex with her in our lounge-room. I have know idea how to get through this, I feel like nothing and I am depressed all the time. I think the best thing is for him to leave but I just don’t know. I know everyone has different ways of dealing with a cheater but I would just like some advice from people who have been in my shoes. Thanks so much…

    My Response:

    Dear Destroyed;

    It’s hard to find out someone we trusted and loved cheated on us. His excuse is plain out BS! Don’t give me that I love you and nothing is wrong yet I’ve been sleeping with my secretary for 5 months because it was handed to me???? SO WHAT???? SO if a guy handed you something in return would you take it? Marriage is a sacred sacrament and it is not something you just ignore. Don’t let him sweat talk you into thinking that what he did was okay. You deserve more than that, you gave him 16 years and now he’s done the ultimate betrayal. It is not going to be easy but I think the first step is making him leave the house. You need to get your thoughts together and you need know that what he did had nothing to do with anything you did, and only selfishness on his part. The fact that he brought this women into your house, where you have your family shows no sign of respect for you or your children. This is unacceptable….and disgusting … You have to be strong for your kids, and you have to know that even though it doesn’t seem like it right now there is always someone out there for someone (even if you don’t see that now), and even though right now you feel like your heart has been ripped out, and you will never feel happy, TRUST ME, You will. Life moves on and we move on and we learn to live and move on from the hurt that others cause us. It is not going to be easy, it’s going to be a hard journey, but you need to be strong and know that you deserve someone a lot better than someone who would lie to you and cheat on you and then use an excuse like the one he did.
    Good luck. Remember you need to love yourself and you need to heal with time before moving on. It will take time, but time does heal all wounds.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • How do I deal with my pregnant sister in law?

    The Question:

    She was lazy sarcastic and rude before she was pregnant, now its just gotten way out of hand. She doesn’t help out, the last time the family went dirt bike riding she didn’t lift a finger and then gloated about it by stating ” I didn’t do anything all day” everyone just kind of rolled their eyes. She’s sarcastic, the last time we all went out to dinner no one was talking to me so I started playing a game on my phone and she turned to her husband (my brother) and said I hate it when people are on their phone at the table, and yes it was clearly said so I could hear it, and now shes rude, me and my mom were discussing the baby shower and she started to give us rules and regulations certain games she doesn’t want played what colors we could use, and the last time my mom was talking to her I wasn’t there and she started acting like its an inconvenience saying, do I have to have a shower? My feeling is, if me and my mom are throwing her a baby shower paying for it and all, shouldn’t she just shut up and be Happy? Whats your thoughts?

    My Response:

    Dear Sister In Law;

    Unfortunately it is her shower, whether you guys are throwing it or not, it is a gesture and she does have a say in colors and what she wants to play and doesn’t want to play, however, with that said her being lazy and rude and sarcastic is something totally different and has nothing to do with the shower. I would either talk to your brother first about it, and see what he says. If everyone knows she is being lazy and no one has said anything, then I would just ignore her all together. Family outings try to hang out with other family and away from her negativity. If you can’t help but tell her how you feel, then confront her, remember though she is pregnant so she is probably a little more sensitive than usual, but if she is normally rude and sarcastic and lazy than you know this is who she is and she is married to your brother so there isn’t much you can do about it. I say ignore her, and do what you want, don’t worry about what she says or what she does, you only have to see her when you go on family outings.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com

  • Dear Santa

    Dear Santa

    Dear Santa, I’m older
    But, still believe in you
    (At least, I believe in
    The things you try, to do).

    Maybe, I can’t ask for
    A Tonka, or, a train.
    (But, if you’d bring one of them
    You know, I won’t complain).

    But, what I really wish for
    Is a special present
    Love that can’t be “returned”
    Once it has been sent.

    Everybody needs a little
    And some, need a lot
    But, if you get a tiny bit
    You still know what you got.

    So Santa, drop a little
    Under each Christmas tree
    Then, all will get a present
    From what it’s ‘posed to be.

    And if there is no tree
    For the alone, and poor
    When you get, to their place
    Just, drop, a little more.

    Written by: Del “Abe” Jones (TheHolidaySpot.com)

    What do you want for Christmas this year?
    I hope everyone has a wonderful Holiday and a Happy New Year

    xo,
    kristin nicole