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Tag: family

  • 5 days before my Birthday

    5 days Before my Birthday:

    5 Days & 120 hours later it will be my birthday. The big “?” — you didn’t actually think I would tell you my age did you? Okay so it’s not that I am ashamed of how old I am going to be but I haven’t quiet accomplished all the things I had hoped to accomplish before this birthday, and a true lady never reveals her age to the world…. Okay so maybe the world isn’t reading my blog but I hope someone is out there. (Yeah I’m talking to you reading this right now), leave a comment every once in a while, so I know you’re out there…..

    Okay back to the subject on hand… My birthday — Another year older, another year gone. Why do I feel like this year has gone faster than most, and why do I feel like I haven’t truly accomplished anything this year? Well I did finish my Associates Degree (I guess you would call that a pretty big accomplishment, considering I am the only one in my family to actually achieve this), somehow though, I thought I would feel more about it, but truth is, it was just a paper mailed to me saying I passed, and now I continue the struggle to finish my Bachelors Degree. Life doesn’t stop, not for you, not for me and so I keep pushing forward hoping for more accomplishments and more fulfillment.

    This year I won’t be here for my birthday, it’s the first time I have ever gone away for my birthday (except of course when I lived in California but I was still at home and not on vacation). This year I think I’ll start a new tradition (Vacation for my birthday). My boyfriend gave me the idea really, every year for his birthday he takes a trip, even if it isn’t far (Orlando) it’s still not home. My birthday as you can imagine is difficult to celebrate, difficult to take trips and anything else I always want to do because it is so close to Christmas. (Is it my fault however that I was born 5 days before Christmas?) NO — So this year my birthday lands on a Monday, and I figured if we left before my birthday and came back on the 24th to celebrate Christmas Eve (Noche Buena) with our families then all would be right in the world. So we are doing just that, this year my present from my boyfriend is San Francisco. That’s right… I said it… SAN FRAN, FRISCO, Bay area here I come!

    This year I want to make memories, this year I want to make a change and I want to have the best birthday a girls always dreamed of, not a birthday filled with disappointment because people are busy during the holidays and can’t show up, not getting presents because it’s too expensive to give you a birthday and Christmas gift (although I must admit, my family was always good about this and I always got a birthday and Christmas gift separate). This year, this year is DIFFERENT.

    5 more days…..

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Losing the people we love…

    Life’s struggles:

    In life we lose the people we love, sometimes something as simple as a breakup and other times something called forever. We live our lives not realizing that tomorrow is not guaranteed and we take advantage of the people we love. Sometimes we don’t even get the chance to tell them we love them because we had a petty argument. This week I’ve seen a bosses dad pass away, a friends mom and the faith they hold inside, that things really do happen for a reason.

    In the end…

    It’s inevitable to avoid the fact that one day we are going to lose someone we love. Whether it’s our grandparents, our parents, our spouse, and some people lose people they never thought possible, their children. We don’t know why things happen and we don’t know why we have to lose the people we love and go through that pain, but it’s a pain that no one can truly explain, even though at one point in our lives we have all felt it or we are going to feel it one day. Life doesn’t teach us how to deal with losing someone we love, it doesn’t teach us how to cope or how to keep living our lives without them, we just do.

    The day comes…

    The day comes when we have to feel that pain, we have to cry and we have to grieve and we have to keep living without the people we love. This is why it’s so important to not take advantage of the people you love, make sure to tell them you love them and make sure that no matter what happens you are there. For that one split second in time when your life stops, when your heart stops, we grieve for the person we lost, and we hold that sadness inside of us in which we hope will only make us stronger and we continue to live our daily lives without them, because the world doesn’t stop for us, the world doesn’t let us cry on it’s shoulder and it doesn’t let us understand why things happen for a reason. Sometimes we ask why? but there never seems to be an answer, and we keep moving forward. Life stops for no one, so don’t stop living, don’t stop believing and don’t stop telling the people you love that you love them, because at the end of the day, the world keeps moving forward, we keep moving forward.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • They want to marry me off but I’m already in love…

    The Question:

    Dear Kristin Nicole;

    I’m in a relationship with my boyfriend for the past 5 years and we decided that we want to get married. My mother knows everything about him and kept saying that I needed to leave him because my dad would never approve of him. (I am from Delhi) I never listened to my mother and I stayed with my boyfriend. I met his family and they all accepted me, then one day my parents told me that they wanted to marry me off. My mom told my dad everything about my relationship and how long I had been with him, and now he is so angry that he doesn’t want to see me, they do not agree with my relationship and say it’s an affair, he is not good enough due to making less money then they do. They want me to leave him but I can’t live without him and I do not want to marry any other man. They said if I want to marry him that I can, but I would have to leave the house and have no relationship with them ever again. My boyfriend wants to just leave and get married and take me away from my family but he doesn’t understand that I cannot just get up and leave them, they are my family, they are the only thing I’ve ever known. My family will be in great pain if I just leave them. I am caught in between and I don’t know who to choose.
    I’m really depressed about this because I can’t bare to live without my boyfriend. Please tell me what to do?

    I also want to mention one more thing here that our kundlis do not match and he belongs to a different caste; and the big problem I am facing is that I can’t run from home thinking that my parents have done a lot for me until now and if I run, how will they face the world? They will die with this act of mine, so I can’t leave my parents just like that; but my boyfriend is forcing me to run from home. I am not able to understand that; how should I handle both sides? I am really trapped in between my parents and my boyfriend. Please try helping me out.

    ~In Between

    My Response:

    Dear In Between;

    To my understanding you are in love with a man that your parents don’t approve of due to him not making enough money (that meets their standards), Religion (because you stated they wanted to marry you off to someone else) and they want you to marry a man you don’t love? You have to choose between your family or your boyfriend who you want to marry? You have been with him for 5 years but your father never knew about it? This is and was your first mistake. I understand that in your religion or culture that it is very different, but communication and honesty is key. You have a big decision to make and unfortunately I can not tell you what to do. You need sit down with your father and mother, explain to them that love to you is so much more important and that you love this man, you want to spend the rest of your life with him but that you do not want to loose your families respect nor their love or relationship with you. Your happiness means a lot and your happiness should mean a lot to them as well. I know that it is very difficult because your father is probably very stubborn and very true to his religion/culture and what you are doing is probably an embarrassment of some sort or disrespect. Unfortunately we cannot help who we fall in love with.

    If you talk to your parents and they are still making you choose then you have to make a decision. Also talk to your boyfriend, explain to him that this is not an easy decision, although you love him and want to spend your life with him, you can not just run away with him and leave your family behind to never reunite with them. You need time to talk to your family first; and to make a decision. Maybe your father will agree to a meeting with your boyfriend so that he can meet him and his family. You said that your kundlis do not match? and you belong to different caste? Is this a religion or this is a horoscope (I am confused)? You may not be able to convince either party to compromise, and this is when you will be faced with one of the hardest decisions in your life. Do you choose LOVE, or do you choose Family. Family will always be there for you, they will always love you even if they are making you choose love over family and they are your family. Love, love sometimes only truly comes around once, and sometimes we have to really think; can we give up everything for the one person we love? Can we give up what we have known all our lives because of love? Love comes and goes sometimes and although sometimes we feel there is only that one true love, love comes in many ways and forms and there is always love out there. This is something you have to decide, but take your time and try talking to your family and your boyfriend again before making such a hard choice.

    Good luck.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • Life’s speed bumps

    Life’s Speed Bumps

    In life we get some speed bumps that we can race through with just a little bump on the head and sometimes in life there are speed bumps that you have to slow down with, take your time and go over it, watching things pass by and watching the people you don’t even know race on beside you. Unfortunately life doesn’t have a sign that warns you about a speed bump like the sign above, in life we just come to a slow bump where we know; this is it….this is my speed bump in life…

    Where are we going?

    At my age you start to think about the future. What’s next, where am I going, what do I WANT in life? I’m not a teenager, I’m not in my early 20’s but I’m not old either, I’m just in between trying to find my way. Sure I have some regrets in life; like most we try not to regret, I try not to because we can’t change the past we can only change the future. (Okay, okay I know I sound like a commercial); but it’s true. I don’t regret many things in life, even the worst parts of my life I don’t regret, because it taught me lessons and it made me grow into who I am today. (Which isn’t so bad if I say so myself). The one thing I wish I had more ambition for, the one thing I wish I would have just finished was (if you guessed it) yes School. I’m still moving forward towards my bachelors and I have a long way to go, sometimes I am not even sure what I’ll finish studying, but I wish I had done it when I was younger, I wish I had finished and I would be doing it right now instead of struggling, working full time and going to school. Some people don’t know how tough it is, and some well I can’t complain, I have no kids and some people are full time workers, and full time parents and still manage to go to school and finish. I give 100% respect for those people, because I just don’t know where they find the time and energy to keep going.

    My thoughts:

    Like you haven’t been already hearing them; well my thoughts on this – move forward and keep on pushing. Sure I complain sometimes, and I get stressed and I wish like hell I had finished school or would just finish already because it’s so hard, but I keep going, I keep moving forward and I give thanks for all the things I do have that others don’t. Life gives you speed bumps, some you can go fast and some you just have to slow down, have patience and move forward. This is my speed bump, this is my journey and one way or the other I’m going over this speed bump. I’ll get to where I want to be and maybe one day you’ll actually see an article about me in a magazine
    🙂

    Until next time…

    xo,
    kristin nicole

  • My mum is having an affair i have seen letters from another man to prove it what should i do?

    The Question:

    Hey I’m 18 and have a little sister who is 14 and wondered if you could help. Well about a year ago my sister wanted to speak to me about something and that’s when she told me that mum was having an affair because she had seen messages on her phone and she just broke down in my arms and just cried and this has been going on ever since. I dint know what to do so i told my dad about this. Every Friday she says that she goes out with friends for a meal but we don’t believe this and think that she is going to see him. And every time my sister has baton twirling she tends to go out and say that she is either going for a walk or going shopping on her own which is something she has never done. Every time she gets a text she hides it and even takes her phone with her everywhere she goes. But when i manage to get a chance i always have a look at her phone and find messages from him. I found the letters at the weekend which had some awful things on there, and they have been together a year i think in may. And we all know that it is a person that she works with baring in mind apparently he is married with two children just like my mum is. I just feel really sorry for my dad in a way because he has never done anything to deserve this i just don’t understand. I always try to confront her about it but she constantly denies it which i think is one of the reasons that there are constant arguments around the house. My dad knows but will not do anything all he keeps telling me is that he is biding his time. What should i do leave it to my dad or confront her myself, but beforehand when i spoke to her about it she just said that he was a really close mate. I’m so scared to confront her though as i don’t want to break the family up. Please someone help what should i do?

    My response:

    Dear stuck in the middle;

    This is something that no teenager or daughter/son should have to deal with it. This is something your parents have to deal with on their own. I know it’s hard, but you already confronted your dad about it, and he already knows something is going on. I know it’s hard to just sit back and watch all this happen, watch your family fall apart, while you sit back and do nothing. The thing is, no matter what you try to do, there really isn’t anything you can do. Your parents are adults and they know what they are doing. Your mother knows that what she is doing is wrong, but she continues to do it, and go back home and pretend everything is fine, when everyone in that house knows it isn’t. Your dad knows what’s going on but he can be either in denial or he doesn’t know how to approach the situation. It’s hard for a person to find out that their spouse is cheating on them, it’s not easy to take that all in, especially when he has a family to think about. He may be thinking that he’s staying with your mom because of you girls, and that he doesn’t want to hurt you guys, but what he doesn’t realize is, that staying is hurting you guys more, because the both of you already know what’s been going on for more then a year, and you sit back and have to see your dad in pain. Talk to your dad again and tell him how you feel. If it makes you feel better, then I say go ahead and talk to your mom. Let her know that you know, that to stop lying and hiding it from you. I don’t know what these letters you found said so I am assuming it’s hard evidence into your mothers affair. If this is the case, then like I said, if it will help you sleep a little better confronting your mother, go for it. Just know that this may not change things, she may still deny it, unless you catch her in the act, where she can’t deny it any longer, confront your dad, and tell him that you don’t want to live this lie anymore, it’s only hurting your family more. I know you don’t want to break the family up, but know that you aren’t, none of this was ever or will ever be your fault or your sisters or your fathers. Your mom knows what she is doing, and she is the only one breaking up your family by doing this. It’s hard and painful and I am sorry that you have to go through this, BUT sit down with your parents and tell them how you are feeling. Keeping things inside, pretending it isn’t happening isn’t going to make things better. Standing up and saying how you feel isn’t going to make it your fault if your parents separate, the only person to blame is the person who cheated. Be patient, I know right now it feels like things can’t get any worse, and you feel helpless, but life will get better. Good luck and I hope that your family can work things out.

    xo,
    kristin nicole

    I found this question on Answers.Yahoo.com